


Mithril Island

by BlueMonkey, ThornyHedge



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Airplane Crashes, Desert Island, M/M, Male Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-03
Updated: 2013-12-30
Packaged: 2017-12-31 08:04:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 135,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1029284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueMonkey/pseuds/BlueMonkey, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThornyHedge/pseuds/ThornyHedge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin Oakenshield, CEO of Durinco, hires a group of retreat planners from Abroad, Inc., to take his employees on a corporate retreat in Belize. When the plane crashes on a mysterious and seemingly deserted island, a constant struggle for survival awaits those who were lucky enough to survive the crash.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nine Dead

**Author's Note:**

> And, we're off! This is a long one, so fasten your seat belt and return your tray table to its upright position.
> 
> Relationship tags will be added as they unfold. We promise you some pairings we've never explored before.
> 
> There is some blood and gore, but the worst of the violence is in this chapter. None of it is terribly graphic.
> 
> This story was born out of a mutual realization that BlueMonkey and ThornyHedge both loved "Lost." Could "Lost" meet "The Hobbit?" 
> 
> Answer: yes.
> 
> Relationship Tags: Added as they unfold in the story. We don't want to give anything away. ♥

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nine people die in the crash of a plane taking members of Durinco on a corporate retreat.

\- - - - - 

Noise. White noise.

Silent as the sea and loud as New Year's firecrackers, a buzzing emptiness surrounds the site of sand and blood. There's no time but the time to get away, and yet everything's spinning. No longer is there a true North.

Noise, as men who are not already down on the beach or trapped, lifeless under stained white steel, struggle to their feet.

The sound gradually returns to him. When it does, he wishes it hadn't. Suddenly, this becomes real. The large gash running down his upper arm stings and he grasps it blindly. He doesn't know where he's walking—his feet take him somewhere without his consent and there's no stopping them. He meets with the gaze of a fellow intern, just a few months younger than he is himself, but the gaze doesn't acknowledge him. Dead eyes can’t look back.

He stumbles, hears a cry split the air when his knees hit the soil. When a pain so sharp that he barely feels it shoots through him, he realizes it comes from his own throat. It's just a small rock; it looks minute compared to the debris scattered around him, almost petty, but that doesn't make the pain any less. God, he feels like he's going to come down with a migraine as soon as his heart stops beating miles a minute.

For the first time, he looks around and tries to understand what happened.

He can remember the turbulence. They had ordered him back to his seat from where he'd been talking to Ori—

Oh, Ori, is he...?

Quickly his eyes run over the perimeter. There's no sign of Ori. Maybe that's a good thing. Too many people around them look dead or dying, he notices with a sense of detachment. Ah. Right. He hadn't been able to get back to his seat. He'd been on his way, but an air pocket had suddenly plummeted them down several hundred feet, and Ori had been sound of mind enough to pull him back in the unoccupied seat next to him.

Funny, he thinks. The airplane they had rented had had just enough seats, so technically every spot should have been taken. Nevertheless he would have been lying dead, crushed, next to the lifeless intern right now, had he stayed in his assigned seat.

Someone walks up to him. His vision blurs the figure. Quickly he wipes his eyes and runs a hand through his hair. There, that's better.

"—ou okay?" the man asks.

He nods. "You? Everyone else?"

"Oh, boy. Look around you. Are you sure?"

He smiles sadly. Right. The company doctor—he forgot his name—without his supplies or clean office, like a fish out of the water. There's a minute where he considers the wound on his shoulder, but then he sees Mr. Gandalf, a rod pierced straight through his hand, clotted blood and salty sea water making a further painful mess of the injury, and Kili knows that the few scratches he has can wait. 

"There's—maybe there's alcohol in the, ah, wherever they keep it," he tries to be helpful. The hull of the plane doesn't look very salvageable. But maybe, just maybe.

To his left, an explosion throws a wall of air against him, sending him tumbling.

He needs to get away.

Then the realization hits him.

His plane just crashed.

He should be dead.

\- - - - -

He should be dead.

The CEO of the company regains consciousness slowly. There is pain, sharp thudding pain radiating from his lower back. He's lying on something hard and unyielding. Something warm and wet is dripping onto his chest and neck and he's having trouble breathing due to a weight pressing on him from above.

With a yelp, he realizes where he was and who he was with when the company jet began to tremble and fall from the sky. He remembers a look of terror in normally serene blue eyes and arms that clung to him as if to say goodbye.

The weight on his chest is a body—the body of his blond lover. And he's bleeding. 

A young man with red hair walks up to him. He knows the man, even if he can't come across the name right now. With all that's happening, half of his memory finds itself lacking. As soon as the guy sees them, he turns around and runs away. He has only a slight limp in his step—he has been lucky.

Some time later, the redhead returns with Dr. Oin. He recognizes him now; Ori. Administration. Ori doesn't look at them, or tries not to—he definitely recognizes both—but directs the company doctor to the man on top at once, pointing out a large wound on his right shoulder. "Here it is. Please, do something about it."

Ori turns to him then. "It'll be all right, sir," he says. His look says that he's not so sure. "Just...hang in there." 

"Is he okay?" the CEO asks, sounding terrified and very out of breath. "I—I can't move."

Although he has medical training, Oin has been relatively sheltered as a doctor. He's worked at cushy Durinco for the past 22 years treating colds, drawer-pinched fingers and the occasional bout of nausea. He is not prepared for this... _carnage._

\- - - - -

Oin recognized Fili Disson right away, despite the blood caking his blond hair and back. A two-inch wide piece of metal, perhaps from the plane's fuselage, had penetrated his right shoulder. There was no telling how deeply it went without a lengthier examination.

He pushed the lad's long hair aside with a trembling hand and felt for a pulse on his neck, which he was relieved to find. Shards of the airplane restroom mirror were embedded in the back of his skull as well. What on earth had they both been doing in the—

Then it dawned on the doctor. _Oh._

Hadn't they heard the warnings to return to their seats?

"Fili!" Oakenshield called again. "Oin...is he alive?"

"Very much so," Oin assured the CEO, trying hard to keep his voice steady and calm. "I'll need to treat his wounds. I see some stitches in his future. And these aren't the most sanitary conditions." He looked around nervously at the ever-present jungle foliage. "I've got a med kit. The supplies are limited, though."

" _We_ are limited," Ori spoke up from Thorin's left, where he couldn't see him. "So far we have nine dead, including the pilots. Thirteen of us survived, as far as I've been able to count." He watched the blood flowing steadily from the puncture wound on his best friend's back and wondered how soon those numbers would change.

"Ori," Oin's voice snapped the redhead out of his dark thoughts, "help me move him?"

"Right. Right!" Ori took his chance at distraction. From the corner of his eye he saw people still wandering about confused. Nobody paid them any attention. Maybe that was for the better, as he didn't expect Thorin to be very happy if everyone found out about this little detail between him and his protégée, his golden boy.

A muted cry sounded from the cockpit, followed by a stumbling sound and someone falling down. Ori blinked up. That was definitely someone new. He helped Oin to lift Fili to the best of his ability and then, reluctantly, turned around to help this new guy away from the wreckage.

Once Oin had gotten Fili positioned face-down nearby, he turned brief attention to his CEO. "Thorin," he extended a hand to the man. "Can you get up? Is anything broken?"

Thorin accepted the proffered hand and allowed Oin to pull him to a sitting position. He groaned in pain, but nothing did, indeed, seem broken or bleeding. His only injury, aside from the deep ache in his back, was a small knot on the back of his head. He wasn't as unfortunate as....

"Fili!" he crawled rather ungracefully across the sand towards his colleague. "Oin, my god! He's going to be okay, isn't he?"

Oin nodded soundlessly and took his first attempt at pulling gently at the piece of metal skewering Thorin’s assistant. It wouldn't budge. The thing was clearly lodged in Fili's scapula. "This piece of metal," Oin bemoaned, "it's troublesome. It's stuck in his shoulder blade. A good thing, I suppose, in that it kept it from going deeper. It'll be a challenge to remove without a good strong tool though," he told his boss. "I'll attend to these shards in his head, sir. Can you help Ori and the others find out if any more are wounded and need my attention? Bring them to me, if so."

The curly-haired man who'd stumbled from the cockpit immediately vomited in the underbrush.

"Dead," he gurgled when he'd regained his composure. "The pilot and co-pilot are dead!"

Ori returned him a sad look. "They're not the only ones. Come, you need to get out of here. It's too dangerous to stay. Things can blow up without notice, can't they?" They could come back later for the black box. For now, there were too many stray fires. "We can talk later. Could you head for the tree line? You can walk, right?"

They were interrupted by Kili, who had wound his thin shirt around his injury and decided to do something constructive. "You need help?" he asked, then, quieter to Ori, "Nim is gone. She—she didn't make it. I just saw her, behind the wing..."

"So many dead," Ori allowed Kili's mood to infect him. "Nim, Lani, Sildi... and poor old Mr. Yallin. But Kili," he put a hand on the distraught man's shoulder, careful to avoid the cut there, " _we're_ alive. We need to get everyone to safety as quickly as possible. That means...away from the fuselage. Can you help me with that? We can set up a camp near the beach. Oin can do his triage there."

Kili looked dazed. 

"Kili, please," Ori pointed him in the direction of Thorin Oakenshield. "We can't allow Mr. Oakenshield to die. "Will you take him down to the beach? Tell him it's not safe here? Then, help that crazy retreat planner? I think his brother was injured too." 

When Kili moved to Thorin's side, Ori took a few deep breaths. "Oin," he said to the physician. "We need to move Fili away from here. There's fire...and...there could be an explosion. We'll have to pick over the wreckage later, when it's safer."

Oin nodded in agreement. The blanket that the steward—Mr. Boggins?—had given them, would serve as a handy stretcher. Ori's hand's shook as he and the physician started carrying Fili down to the beach and away from the smell of fuel and burning bodies.

Kili crouched down in front of Thorin. "Uncle?" he whispered. "Please tell me you're all right." He offered his shoulder and hoped for Thorin to use it as support. When he did, relief crashed over him. He'd lost friends today. Colleagues. People who didn't deserve this. He didn't want to lose one of the few relatives he had left, too.

It was when they were far enough from the crash site and they both looked back that they truly understood the magnitude of the situation. There was little left of the plane. Part of the hull was fairly intact, but that was the only thing. Everything was gone. Suitcases lay scattered and shattered; the dead lay everywhere.

"What—" Kili whispered. "God, what just happened? Where are we?"

"The company jet went down, Kili," Thorin said gently, as if calming the little boy Kili used to be. "We didn't avoid the hurricane after all, I suppose. The pilots were concerned about it. I heard them talking." He allowed Kili to lead him away from where Oin was working on Fili, but kept glancing back. A look of concern crossed his face when Oin and Ori tried to move the blond. "Go, help Ori," he directed his nephew. "Oin shouldn't be lifting at his age. I'm all right to walk."

Kili nodded, his eyes shadowed by the events, and rushed up to Ori and Oin as fast as he could. Fili had two caretakers and one doctor; it was more than any of the others had. Then again, the wound, when Kili saw it, was horrendous. "Will he be all right?" he asked Oin. "Here, let me. You focus on the wound."

More people were gathering and drawing to the beach, thank goodness. Kili felt slightly better when he saw the number of people that had survived.

"Careful, lad," Oin cursed his distraction at once. "Hold him back, will you? And you, kid," he snapped at Ori, "get rid of his shirt."

Ori would never admit it out loud, but since he'd met Fili, he'd occasionally fantasized about removing the blond's shirt. But never under circumstances like this! The light blue corporate polo was deeply stained with blood around the edge of the protruding metal. 

Carefully he ripped the fabric away from the jagged metal, giving Oin room to work. The older man wrapped his left hand in a piece of cloth to get a better grip on the shard, and pulled again. It refused to budge. He was thankful Fili remained unconscious, because it had to hurt like hell. He gave Ori a try at pulling out the projectile, with no success.

"Lemme see that," Dwalin, who'd been watching with detachment and three tiny bottles of vodka in one hand, approached the pair.

"Give me the alcohol," Oin asked. "We'll need it to prevent infection." He knew it probably made the bigger man regret his decision to help, but the burly CFO handed over his stash surprisingly swiftly.

Dwalin wrapped both his hands in cloth. "Hold him down," he instructed Ori and the doctor. He grasped the metal shard in two places and began wiggling it gently. "Ah, it's in there good, innit?" 

"Aye," Oin agreed. "But the shoulder blade kept it from puncturing his lung. It surely would have killed him, had it done that."

Dwalin gave the shard one more good yank and it came free, with a screeching, squelching sound that made Ori turn green. Dwalin tossed the metal, two inches of its tip coated with Fili's blood, off to the side. "There you go, doc. Fix him up." 

Oin nodded and approached. Unfortunate Fili woke just when, in an attempt to improvise in a situation he had never expected to find himself in and without any sterile wire on him, Oin decided to singe the wound shut.

Kili pulled Ori back. The smell of burning flesh was already in the air, but to be looking at the source...he cringed. "You always spend a lot of time together, don't you?" he asked the redhead, to distract him from the sight. 

Kili didn't have time enough to ask more, for Oin took him by the arm. "Oakenshield. Go out, look for survivors. Bring them to me. Lad, you stay with this one over here."

Ori nodded, admittedly feeling more than a little sick from what he was witnessing. The sound of Fili screaming when Oin cauterized his wound was nearly his undoing.

"It's all right, Fili," he knelt and took Fili's head into his lap. "Oin's just fixed you up. You had a big piece of metal sticking out of your back. It's gone now," he took his friend's hand between his own and rubbed it soothingly. 

"W-we crashed?" Fili asked, weakly. "Guh...fucking hurts," he whimpered, tears running freely from both eyes. "Is everyone okay? Thorin?"

Ori winced when Fili asked about Thorin's safety first, but he supposed it was to be expected. They were, after all, fucking. 

"He's fine," Ori told him. "Even cushioned your landing for you, he did."

Fili let out a soft chuckle at this. "I deserved at least that after the hell he's put me through the past few weeks planning this god-damned retreat." He closed his eyes and squeezed Ori's hands. "The others? Mr. Dwalin? Gandalf?"

"Alive," Ori looked over the surviving company who had assembled. "Most of the dead were trainees, sitting in the rear of the plane."

"Kili?" Fili's eyes shot open at this news. "Thorin's nephew?"

"He's fine," Ori told him. "Helping the rest."

"Thank god," Fili had felt an instant connection with the brunet when they'd met briefly. But there was never enough time to talk. Not really. "I'm so glad," he sighed, eyes falling closed again. 

"Fili?" Ori shook his shoulder gently, then harder. "Fee?"

"He needs to rest," Bilbo handed a folded up sweatshirt to Ori to use as a pillow for Fili. "We all do. It's been a horrible, horrible day."

It wasn't until then that they took the time to look at their surroundings. Their trip had been from London to Belize, a no-transfer passage that most of them had been looking forward to for several months. The previous year the company had been thriving. As a bonus, their company president had decided to take everyone on a trip to go camping—luxuriously—across the ocean to celebrate. That had included the new interns, and even one that wasn't even with the company yet at the time of the announcement. 

They had all thought they were so lucky.

Apart from Kili, they were all dead.

The plane had been only a few hours from its destination when the trouble started. That had to put them on one of the Caribbean islands. The pearly sand and the cerulean sea added to that assumption. Surely, behind the canopy of the jungle there had to be people that could help get them safely back home.

Such was, at least, Balin's suggestion. "Is there anyone fit enough to join me as I look for signs of life?" he asked. "Or does anyone have a working cell phone?"

Ori had religiously charged his cell phone well before they took off and it still held a full charge, despite the crack in its case. However, there wasn't a signal to be had. He told Balin as much.

"I'm not purposely trying to play devil's advocate," spoke up Bilbo from where he was seated near Bombur, "but not all of these islands out here are inhabited."

"Well, aren't you a little ray of sunshine?" Bofur quipped from where he was seated next to his colleague and brother, Bifur. The pair, along with their associate, Bombur, represented Abroad, Inc., and were responsible for running the corporate retreat. 

Oin leaned over poor Bifur, who had sustained a rather nasty head wound. He too had a piece of metal embedded in him—but in his forehead. Oin told Bofur, in no uncertain terms, that he wasn't about to remove it without a proper x-ray. To do so could cause brain damage. But the damage seemed to already be done. Bifur, though conscious, seemed very dazed. He stared blankly about. When he spoke, it almost seemed to be in another language. Bofur and Bombur were trying hard to remain optimistic, but seeing the motivational speaker so disabled was very demotivating.

"Does it get cold here at night?" Oin asked the steward.

"Colder than it is now? Yes," Bilbo told them all. "But these are the tropics. If we gather up the blankets from the wreck, we should be fine. Not yet though. We shouldn't go back there yet. It's still burning."

"Hold on!" Kili sat up. "You're from the airline, aren't you? I bet you're trained in what to do in the event of emergencies like this!" He poked Ori. See? Things were going to be just fine. Well, all things considered. "I'm sure there's a SAT phone in the plane we can salvage. The cockpit looks nearly intact."

"Someone should stay with the plane and see what we can salvage when it stops smoldering. But I don't think it's a bad idea to scout for what's out there." Balin looked around. "In the unfortunate event that we are on an uninhabited island and the rescue teams don't get here quickly, since we have no idea where exactly we are, finding at least a source of water could increase our chances of survival until they come."

"What a help to us all that you weren't hurt, Oin," Ori said from his position next to Fili. "You _aren't_ injured, are you?" he asked fearfully.

"I have the same aches and pains we all do, having been dropped from the sky like that," Oin admitted. "But no. I have no grievous injuries to speak of. It would appear the rest of us survivors were equally lucky. Barring a bad infection, the fourteen of us who survived the crash should live."

Oin had removed the projectile from Gandalf's hand. The engineer seemed rather calm for someone who now had a hole in his hand that he could see though. He clenched his teeth as Oin poured vodka over the wound and packed it with gauze and wrapped it. 

"Thank you, Oin," he said to the physician. "We are indeed very fortunate to have you."

"I'll go with you, Balin," Ori volunteered. "If someone will stay with Fili."

With a stifled moan of pain, Thorin pulled himself to his feet and moved the short distance to Fili's side, caressing the blond's cheek gently when he sat down next to him. "Go, Ori," he said gruffly, "but be safe. We don't know what's waiting out there." 

A short conversation ensued about what types of dangerous animals lived in the Caribbean, after which Bilbo, Kili, Balin and Ori headed off into the underbrush with a few containers in case water was found during their exploration.

Kili looked over his shoulder once, before the foliage obscured the wreck and the others from view. At once the damp, stifling air of the jungle took over, and he didn't regret using his shirt to bandage his wound—until the mosquitoes came.

Where mosquitoes were, he thought, there had to be water.

The further they moved into the jungle, the darker it became. It didn't look like civilization was just a step away.

"Uncle looks like he cares a lot about him," Kili noted out loud to Ori. Thorin was never that concerned when it came to Kili’s welfare, and wasn't he family? But Kili was fairly new to the company. Maybe Thorin was like that with most of his employees.

"Oh," Ori answered Kili. "You mean your uncle and Fili? They're _close_ I suppose you could say. Fili's a bit of a confidant for Thorin. His relationship with Thorin, I imagine, would be quite different than what you have with your uncle." Ori was quiet for a moment. "Mr. Baggins?" he called to the steward. "This is one of those unpopulated islands you were talking about, isn't it?"

"Well," Bilbo knitted his brow in consternation, "my feeling is, if there were a resort here, we'd know by now. They would have heard and seen the crash and come looking for _us._ The same goes for any indigenous people."

"I think," Balin said glumly, "what Mr. Baggins is trying to tell us—albeit politely—is that we're fucked."


	2. The Mile High Club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The survivors go in search of water and civilization. We see the crash from Fili and Thorin's point of view.

"Fili is his confidant?" Kili frowned. "Uncle Thorin—Mr. Oakenshield," he quickly corrected, remembering the scolding he'd had for calling him that on his first day on the job, "he never mentioned anything like a confidant." Business was business to Thorin. Always. Kili had had to ask Thorin repeatedly for a traineeship, and even after that he'd been put through several capacity tests first. Thorin had not taken him in as a favor between relatives.

"Who's this _Mr. Oakenshield?_ " asked Bilbo. He quite snappily added to that, "If he's not going to help us find people, I'd say it's perhaps better you save your gossip for when we're back in civilized regions. Talking about him isn't getting us further. Come." He pointed to a small stream of water he’d spotted, barely visible really. "Let's see if we find people at the source of this."

"Mr. Oakenshield is the CEO of our company," Balin explained. "He's the fellow who chartered your airline company for the trip—a decision I'm sure he's regretting right now."

Bilbo began a weak protest, but realized he really had nothing to say on that matter. The stream they followed was widening; it encouraged him greatly, and he focused on that instead.

Ori fell back and murmured to Kili, "I suppose you could say that Fili is your uncle's friend—at least the closest thing Mr. Oakenshield has to a friend among his colleagues. They spend quite a bit of time together, both in and out of the office. I wouldn't begin to guess as to the true nature of their relationship, and Fili, of course, doesn't talk about it much. He values his job too much."

"That's no reason not to talk about a friendship," Kili shot back. He snorted, but quickly let that negativity pass. "Sorry. I don't...We just survived a crash and this is the first time I hear about my uncle, who is almost never around, to have a friend. Who works for him. I'm sure it's none of my business. It's just...," he sighed, "It's easier to focus on than everything else." The crash. The loss of friends. A great distraction so he didn't have to think about that, Kili meant to say. Without paying attention, he followed Balin and Bilbo, nearly losing his footing over a branch and banging his already injured knee.

Ori suddenly felt very possessive of Fili. He had always been jealous of Fili's associations with Thorin, and he certainly wasn't ready to begin sharing him with this obviously attractive and connected newcomer, either. 

"Fili's a good guy," he explained to Kili. "You hear people say things about him. Bad things—that he's brown-nosing and ass-kissing to get to the top. But it's not true. He genuinely enjoys spending time with Mr. Oakenshield." He shrugged, leaning down into the water with a sock he'd brought along. "Here," he smiled at Kili. "Let me clean that gash on your arm."

Kili kept quiet about his thoughts that his uncle wasn't much fun to be around. Respectable, sure, but fun? Not the Thorin he knew. Instead he smiled appreciatively and crouched down next to Ori to allow him a closer look at his arm. He didn’t mention the injury on his knee. "We never spent a lot of time together, did we? Thanks, for helping me. I really appreciate it."

He looked up to find both Balin and Bilbo waiting for them; Balin like a grandfather, and Bilbo not unlike like a mother hen. "Come along now," he snapped, "you can do that while you walk. We're running out of time, in case you hadn't noticed."

"Out of time?" Balin wondered.

Bilbo huffed. Really, the intelligence in these people. "Around this latitude, night falls fast, it does. In an hour time, this place will be pitch dark. I don't fancy being in the bush when that happens."

"Maybe we should wait until tomorrow morning to try to find civilization," Ori bit his lip. "I don't relish being lost out here," he added, cautioning Kili with a hand on his arm to stay still while he worked. "And you, quit squirming. I don't want this to get infected. It's deeper than it looks, Kili."

"Perhaps he's right," Bilbo conceded. "We should take back as much water as we can carry though. Then, set out at first light and find help? I don't think anyone's injuries are life threatening, except for perhaps Bifur's."

"Stay out in the open, you mean?" Balin bit his lip. "On the beach, right? To think about all the wild beasts that could be out here. Spiders, ants..."

"Oh, get over it," Bilbo folded his arms. "We crashed. You're alive. You know who have the right to complain? Them out there that died. But you don't hear them moaning. We'll look for signs of people first thing in the morning, but first we have to get to that stream and bring back water."

Ori's eyes were wide with astonishment as he smiled at Kili. "I rather like this Baggins fellow," he told his co-worker. "Is your arm still hurting you?"

"Don't let him hear it," Kili said back. "It's still painful, but I think the throbbing is starting to wear down. As long as it doesn't get infected, I'll be fine." He got to his feet—Bilbo didn't seem the very patient type. "Is there canvas in the plane?" he asked. "Maybe rope?"

This was probably the worst timing ever to admit to having been a Boy Scout. Uncle Thorin would have looked away, embarrassed, had he been here with them.

Ori looked at Kili with new admiration instead. "Going to build us a shelter, are you?"

"There's an emergency kit with some larger supplies and blankets in the storage area behind the cockpit. We can take a look and see," Bilbo supplied, more gently than before. "I'm sure there's some food in there as well."

"I want to wash your wound with salt water when we get back to the ocean," Ori told Kili. "Everyone with a wound should do that."

Bilbo nodded in agreement, leaning to fill up the two empty containers he had brought along for water by the stream. "It's good," he said, tasting it. "Nearly cold, too."

"Not sea water, right?"

Balin, who felt like the quiet one among these people, which was something new for the consultant, dutifully lifted one of the containers. The heat was wearing on him, but he refused to be a dead weight. "How long do rescue teams usually take? A few hours, a day? How long will we have to hold out for?"

"There's no way to know, sir," Bilbo said honestly to the older man. "It all depends on where we are right now...and how easy it is for them to locate us. And yes, sea water is fine for cleansing a wound," Bilbo told them all. "We should have everyone with an open wound take a sea bath as soon as they feel up to it." 

Bilbo was beginning to feel the strain. It made him uncomfortable how quickly and easily this group of strangers had begun to rely on him for the answers to everything.

\- - - - - -

Bombur's tongue sought out, for the hundredth time that day, the spot in his upper jaw where two teeth had been knocked out by the impact of the plane hitting the ground. His back, which as a rule hurt most of the time, actually felt okay since the crash. Every cloud had a silver lining, he supposed.

Next to him, his colleague Bofur slept soundly. They’d had to pop Bofur's shoulder back into its socket earlier. Bombur could still hear the dreadful _thock_ sound it made, and the subsequent scream that followed. Much like the blond kid when the doctor had cauterized his wound. Thankfully, Bombur carried pain meds with him. Good ones, for his bad back. He had slipped two to his friend to help with the shoulder pain. 

He wished he had a simple solution to what was ailing Bofur's brother. The piece of metal protruding from Bifur's head was frightening, but scarier still was his stare, and the unblinking silence. He must have been brain damaged. Surely, that was it.

Bombur had built a campfire after the search party left. It wasn't hard. He had been camping ever since he was a lad, and the know-how just came back like it had never left him. On the other side of the fire, the company CEO lay stretched out next to the young blond who always seemed to be at his side. Bombur had assumed the man was his assistant, but since the crash, Oakenshield had been showing him a great deal more concern. Even as the sun descended, the angry red and black burn mark stood out starkly on the blond's shoulder. The kid had been asleep for hours.

The elderly lawyer lay next to the young man. He too had benefitted from Bombur's stash of Vicodin. And why shouldn't he? The old fellow had a hole in his hand. 

Bombur prayed they would be found soon. He only had so many drugs. 

In the silence of the approaching night and the fading hope that they would get off this island before nightfall, away from the remains of the plane and the evidence of too many dead, Dwalin sat himself down next to him. He peered into the distance, where the ocean looked tranquil, and the wreckage just a shadowy set of debris. They’d only met once, Bombur and he, but there were only a handful of people still awake, and his spot next to the campfire was pleasantly warm.

"There's no food, is there?" the tall man sat himself down on the log Bombur had dragged over. "Nobody wants to get close to the plane to find any, but it's no use. When I woke up, I saw the plastic trays burning next to me. Do you think they'll find us before we start to fight among ourselves?"

"Food is what I do for a living," Bombur told him. "Against the steward's orders, the first thing I did was go back to the fuselage and check if we had any. I got a box of peanuts from behind the cockpit. About forty packs or so. Not sure how long that'll last us, though," he said glumly.

"I can tell you one thing," Gloin, seated on Dwalin's other side chimed in, "I'm not about to start eating my dead co-workers."

Bombur looked a little taken aback and rather ill at the prospect. "If anything, Mr. Gloin, if we aren't picked up in a few days, we'll have to burn the bodies. The sun will be none to kind to them, and we won't want to be around for the decomposition."

"A few days?" Dwalin snorted. He looked over to the silhouette of the plane against the fading light. "I'd say we hold a service for them tomorrow, if rescue hasn’t come. They are people we know. I'm not waiting to see them fall apart. No, if we want to do them honor, it will have to be when they're still _them._ "

"I just..." Bombur paused here. "I wasn't sure that everyone would be so eager to dispose of them so quickly. It seems so very final. I also happen to think it's the right thing to do. For them, and for our very sanity." He stole a look at Bifur, who, amazingly, nodded in agreement. 

"We burn the bodies tomorrow," Bombur smiled at Bifur's show of cognizance. "But we remove their jewelry, for their loved ones. Agreed? Although, we'll probably have to run all this by Mr. Oakenshield. He is still in charge. Even... _out here._ "

Gloin scoffed. "Out _here,_ " his voice was bitter, "he's as useless and defenseless as the rest of us. Level heads will prevail. I like you, Bombur. You have a good head on your shoulders."

Dwalin sat straighter and turned his eyes on Gloin. "Mr. Oakenshield will have an equally level head out here," he warned. "I'm not saying he's going to be in charge, since this isn't the office and well, we're not exactly making a living being out here with him, but have a respect for his authority and mind your tongue."

That being said, he couldn't help but agree that Bombur seemed sound of mind enough. It was a pity he wasn't exactly in shape, or Dwalin would not have minded following his lead, as long as it brought him food.

As he stared into the fire, he heard the sound of snapping twigs from the foliage behind them. Immediately he was up on his feet.

"Relax, Dwalin," Ori's voice called softly. "It's only us, returning."

Dwalin relaxed visibly, while Gloin muttered something about Oakenshield being too busy with his boy toy to lead effectively.

"We brought plenty of water," Ori told those around the fire. "But Mr. Baggins thought we should wait until daylight to explore any further."

"Wise decision," Bombur nodded. "Who knows what critters are lurking out there?"

Kili sat down by the fire as soon as he found a good spot. The warmth was oppressive anywhere else—though it was cooling, now that the sun was down—but near the fire it was pleasant. "If they haven't gotten here tomorrow, we should try to find some food," he said, because no food near a camp fire didn't match up. He longed for chicken. "Is everyone okay? No more injuries? We should stay on the beach tonight. I'm sure the rescue teams will be here tomorrow."

He had the sense to offer his place to Balin when he came searching for a spot and sat down in the sand instead. It was still hot from the day. "Ori," he called out. "Over here."

Kili felt very much torn out of his element in a group this large, even though he had no objections against the beach, or the jungle. Or people that had something in common with him. How long had he been adamant about never getting a job like this?

Ori raised his hand to Kili in a just-a-moment gesture. He knelt between the older gentleman, the lawyer Gandalf, and Fili, leaning over to check on his friend. Gandalf, Fili and Kili's uncle, Mr. Oakenshield, were all sound asleep. 

"They all seem to be okay still," Ori murmured sitting down next to Kili on the sand. "And sleeping. You know," Ori mused, "it's really quite lovely here. I can think of worse places to have crash landed." He admired the glow of the half-moon on the sea.

"Aye," Balin chimed in. "Somewhere cold. _Anywhere_ cold would be worse than this. We can thank Oakenshield for his love of the tropics."

Kili eyed them and their seeming love for his uncle warily. Apparently, he and the others had different opinions on who Thorin Oakenshield really was.

Bilbo stood from afar, looking at everyone. He was carrying branches in his arms, figuring that helping keeping the fire going would be good, but as he returned from the edge of the woods, he walked in on everyone either talking or sleeping. They all knew each other. Except for him. All of his colleagues had died in the crash, leaving him alone with a band of strangers to whom he was an outsider.

He quietly put the branches down, walked forward, and tried to find a good place to sleep. If they were lucky, he'd be back to his home and his family and fiancé very soon. Bilbo didn't mind the tropics. What he did mind was everyone he knew being gone.

"That Baggins character," Ori leaned over and whispered in Kili's ear, "he's an all right sort. I have a feeling he's going to be of great use to us during our time here. Which," he added, "I hope ends tomorrow. Maybe we should get some sleep, Kili," he told the younger man.

He’d helped himself from the pile of blankets Bombur had liberated from the aircraft. "We can share?" he suggested. "I think it's going to get plenty cold out here tonight. Why don't you take a blanket to Bilbo?"

"He's hands-on," Kili had to admit. He wondered why Ori whispered to him of what he could have said aloud instead. On the other hand, he liked to have someone he could call a friend. Ori was definitely good friend material. So he got up, snatched a blanket from the pile and trudged over to where Bilbo was trying to make himself a place to stay. Kili crouched down.

"Here you go," he smiled. "Let's hope we only have to sleep like this once, right?"

Bilbo eyed him warily. He hesitated for a long time—too long for Kili's sense—before he took the blanket and muttered a thanks. Turning around under the blanket, it was obvious enough that he wanted to keep to himself. Kili shrugged. He sat down where he stood and started speaking.

"I'm Kili. That guy over there, with the long hair and the fancy suit? That's Thorin Oakenshield. He's my uncle. Not, you know, that that makes me privileged or anything, though I suppose him being alive is privilege enough. Everyone here works for or with him, one way or another." He wasn't really sure what he was trying to say. He supposed he just wanted to make conversation; that, and Bilbo had to be feeling lonely. "I'm sorry about the pilots, and the other steward."

"I didn't know them all that well," Bilbo nervously offered, as if that somehow made it all better. "Just casually. In my job, you never know from day to day who you're going to be working with. Not like you lot. Thank you," he said to Kili, "for the blanket. I do look forward to sleeping. Maybe when I wake up, this will all have been just a bad, bad dream."

He rolled over onto his side and curled up in his blanket, signaling to Kili that the conversation had ended. 

Kili made his way back to his warm spot next to Ori to get some sleep himself.

\- - - - - 

**  
_TEN HOURS EARLIER_   
**

Fili leaned back in his comfortable aisle seat next to his best friend. "Ori," he groaned, cracking his back, "as soon as we reach cruising altitude, I'm going to take a nap...and I don't want you waking me up until we arrive, promise?"

Fili would never admit out loud that he was overworked. To be honest, he was responsible for his own ever-present lack of sleep. Thorin expected a lot of him, it was true. Although he'd aspired working in sales for the company, Mr. Oakenshield had taken notice of him, somehow. He had praised his grades and his background and asked if Fili might consider being his assistant.

"I didn't go to Harvard and get an MBA only to be someone's secretary," he had told his prospective boss, in no uncertain terms. 

Mr. Oakenshield went on to offer him a salary of $120,000 a year. Like a fool, Fili had accepted. And yes, he was a fool. The job was far more complicated than being someone’s secretary. Thorin was a busy man and very particular. He kept Fili busy. Managing Thorin's life gave him very little time to have a life of his own. He reasoned that now was the time to make that name for himself. He could do that as the personal assistant to Durinco's CEO, he reasoned. He was Thorin's gatekeeper. No one got to Thorin, except through him.

The job had its perks. Thorin was wealthy and very good looking. As it turned out, he also was rather creative in the sack. This perk didn't make itself known until Fili had had the job for a few weeks. He should have known it was coming.

They had a love-hate relationship. At the office, Thorin was often downright cruel to him, often degrading him and pushing him around. Oh, but he certainly made up for it on the weekends when they were alone together. Or during the day when Thorin locked his giant double office door and Fili knew what he had coming.

Then Thorin got this crazy bug up his ass to take the employees of Durinco on a corporate retreat. He had chosen a company already—Abroad Inc.—that specialized in intimate team-building retreats in the tropics. He had his heart set on Belize. The brochures certainly sold Fili on the idea too, as did seven nights in the tropics with his hot boss.

But, ugh, then it was Fili who had to do all the grunge work...tireless long meetings with brothers Bifur and Bofur to arrange the specifics. And this on top of his normal schedule. 

He hadn't slept much in the days leading up to the trip. Thorin was seated up front with Mr. Yallin, a board member, schmoozing away. Now was the perfect time for a nap.

At an altitude of 30,000 feet up in the air, the view was as beautiful as it was monotonous. Without a cloud to speck the world, all that showed was sunlight glinting off water, and then more of that. Occasionally a small island popped up on the radar, but most of the times they were just a few rocks. Inside the cabin, all was pleasantly quiet.

However, shortly after the plane took off, it became obvious that Thorin's little-publicized fear of flying was taking over. Fili watched as Oakenshield's fingers dug into the armrest with a white-knuckled grip, his mouth set in a grim line as he tried to be cordial to Mr. Yallin. 

When the pilot finally announced they were at cruising altitude and could remove their seatbelts, Fili found himself smiling apologetically at Ori and moving to Thorin's side.

"Mr. Oakenshield," he said softly, nodding respectfully to Mr. Yallin, "would you mind coming with me back to my seat? There's a few details of the retreat I still need to go over with you." He lay his hand on Thorin's forearm and his eyes locked with Thorin's blue ones meaningfully.

He walked away, slipping into one of the plane's two small bathrooms. Moments later, as expected, Thorin slipped in after him.

The lock shut behind them, and at once Thorin's mouth was on Fili's.

They took embarrassingly little time in pushing down their pants, rich fabric crumpling in the confined space. "Fili," Thorin breathed, "the risk you're taking..." But it wasn't displeasure in his eyes when they locked with his employee's. A sense of adventure and thankfulness for the distraction warred there instead. Thorin kissed Fili again. He was quickly getting hard. The knowledge of everyone else, just outside that poor excuse of a door...god. "On your knees. On your knees."

Fili gasped incredulously, assessing the small space both their bodies barely fit into standing, let alone...

"Not gonna happen," he told Thorin, instead slipping his naked backside up onto the counter behind him. "Like this?" He lay back a bit and spread his thighs, propping one foot on the other end of the counter and the other on the wall behind Thorin's head. He took Thorin's hand in his own and led it to the liquid soap dispenser, the closest thing to lube they were going to find on the plane. Fili licked his lips and said, "Fuck the risk. Need you." His cock curved up and emphatically against his stomach.

Thorin looked over his prize, though he didn't know how having a fear of flying had earned him this. "Oh, fuck, Fili," he said hoarsely, "I did train you well." There was a small curve in his lips to indicate the words weren't entirely serious, but Thorin was at least partially truthful about his wording. When Fili had just entered the company, there was no way he would have done this for him. 

Now look at him.

He knew he had to be mindful of the other passengers, but Thorin just couldn't help himself. He squirted a more than generous amount of clear white soap on his fingers, the substance looking too much like come already, and would have taken the bottle if it hadn't been a dispenser embedded into the sink against, well, probably against practices such as this, pushing the tip in until the piston. Instead, his finger begged entrance. "Open up," he commanded.

"Trained _me?_ " Fili chuckled. "Who followed me to the restroom when I crooked my finger? Why, it was—" he let out a grunt of pleasure as Thorin breached him with a thick finger, "CEO and major shareholder of Durinco, Thorin Oakenshield." 

He pulled Thorin down into a deeper kiss as the older man scissored him open in a practiced manner. Although, to be fair, this was the first time they were doing it on an airplane. "God," Fili groaned, pulling away and wriggling on Thorin's digits, "I'm so hot for you right now, Thorin."

"Show me," challenged Thorin, and made sure Fili took three of his fingers until his cock couldn't wait a minute longer. The jerk in the normally smooth flight should have drawn his attention, as sensitive to any irregularities in their flight as he was, but it only made him harder now. It was like a rollercoaster—a danger. He wanted it.

With a smooth undulation of his hips, he sheathed himself inside and groaned in pleasure. "Fuck, Fili, how do you stay so tight?" Another push forward, and he was in for as far as the edge of the counter would allow him. "Move. Fuck yourself on me."

"Ungh," Fili bit his lip and wriggled his hips until Thorin was balls deep. "It is _so_ like you to make me do all the work," he chuckled, relishing the welcome feel of Thorin deep inside him, the smell of him all around him, his huge, hot hands touching and claiming him. 

Using the surfaces around him, he pushed away with his feet, but they had only a tight space in which to maneuver. Fili simply ground until he found the angle at which the massive cock inside him best brushed over his prostate. "Oh, god...." he groaned. "There! Just like that..."

Thorin allowed Fili to extract his own pleasure for a few thrusts more. As soon as he took over the wheel, Fili had to work hard to keep himself propped up on the counter, for Thorin dragged him lower in order to hit him deeper and deeper. The heat that engulfed him was maddening, the pace a stuttering one that begged for more. 

Quite carelessly, Thorin bit a mark into the blond’s neck. Another air pocket caused them to drop a few feet. He groaned. It wasn't excitement this time. Second drops so soon after one another weren't good. When he leaned against Fili and pushed himself in deep, it was not for pleasure.

Despite (or maybe on account of) the sudden pain of the bite and the deep penetration, Fili came with embarrassing quickness. He barely had time to raise his hand to keep from coating Thorin's neatly pressed dress shirt with his release.

As his muscles clenched around his boss and he drew him in with one strong leg, he thought he heard some sort of announcement over the pleasure zinging through him. 

Thorin wound both hands into Fili's hair, which had come loose from the leather Fili had tied it back with, and kissed him as he climaxed.

"Did you hear something?" Fili asked him afterwards. He could feel Thorin's heartbeat against his own chest. Reluctantly he pulled his pants back up. "An announcement or—?" 

The plane gave another lurch, and Fili's head smacked against the mirror behind him. A second, more powerful drop, and his head hit it again, shattering it. "Th-Thorin?" he whimpered, reaching for him with a shaking hand.

"Just some turbulence." Thorin's eyes were wide and the fingers that tried to do up his pants trembled. "That's all. Just some turbulence. It's a small space here. If we hold on to something, we'll be fine." It was more of a mantra to calm himself down than something Thorin believed to be true. "Just turbulence. Happens all the time." But the plane had started shaking as if they weren't flying the skies but forcing their way through gravel. "Hold on. We'll be fine. Tonight, when we're in our room, we'll think back at th—"

A lurch dislodged him. Fili crashed back. When he fell, his temple hit the faucet.

Thorin panicked.

"Doesn't feel like...turbulence," Fili said weakly, raising one hand to feel the back of his skull. It came away coated in blood. "Oh, no," he murmured, wrapping both arms around Thorin's waist with less-than-convincing strength. "W-we should go back to the cabin...seat belts."

Thorin nodded immediately. He grabbed for the door and made to unlock it. An overwhelming noise outside the bathroom drew back his hand, and he stared at the door. "What—what was that?" It sounded like the noise of air rushing in.

Then there were screams.

Thorin blanched.

"Don't go out there," he whispered. "Oh god. We're going to die."

Fili's breath came in short little gasps as his throat closed down to a pinpoint. "C-can't die," he told his boss. "My...my mum needs me." 

He lay his head against Thorin's solid chest as the plane shuddered again. His head throbbed mercilessly and he hoped that maybe he might be lucky enough to pass out before they crashed. Maybe then it would hurt less.

Thorin pulled him close against him.

From the direction of the tail came the sound of metal being wrought together, rippling forward in their direction fast.

Then everything went black.


	3. Confessions and Coconuts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili goes scouting. Fili lays things on the line with Thorin.

Fili opened his eyes with a gasp and a jerk of his body that sent a jolt of pain through his recently injured and cauterized shoulder. "Ow," he whimpered, realizing he was lying on the sand with his head on Thorin's shoulder. Thorin had one arm wrapped protectively around him in his sleep.

He could hear the pounding of surf against sand and raised his head again, this time more tentatively. The morning sun was just peeking over the horizon. He had survived the plane crash. He vaguely remembered the day before—Oin fussing over him, forcing screams from him. He shuddered.

Where were they? He looked around slowly at the group sleeping around the dwindling campfire that someone had built. Sitting awake and across from him was Kili, Thorin's nephew. He raised his hand in silent greeting.

Kili, who had managed to capture a small lizard and felt very guilty about still contemplating pulling off its tail and putting it over the campfire—the little creature couldn't be punished for his growling stomach—looked like a deer in headlights. He carefully sat the creature aside; it seemed unaware of the danger it'd been in as it slowly started crawling away.

The man quietly raised his hand in reply, then nodded at Thorin. _Still out cold?_

Fili watched the surreal sight of the tiny lizard creeping away through the slumbering bodies, then his gaze turned to Kili, meeting his eyes sheepishly as he tried to sit up. He made it upright on the second attempt. After a quick check of Thorin, he surmised he was still asleep and nodded.

"Just us then?" Fili asked, looking around at the men gathered by the fire. "We were all who survived?"

"Afraid so," Kili whispered in order not to wake up Ori. He knew he and Fili were always close, so he pointed at him and added, "He's fine too. You gave him quite the scare yesterday."

So, he thought. This was Thorin's confidant.

"I hope they'll get us off this island today."

Fili nodded in agreement, eyes appearing on the brink of tears. "I..." he began, clearly embarrassed, "where are we, you know, using the restroom? Just...in the jungle?" he slowly pulled himself to his feet, appearing rather unsteady once he got there.

Kili shrugged. "No rules about that yet, but sure. Or behind the plane. Or you could probably get away with taking a morning swim as long as you keep quiet about that. Are you okay?"

Fili nodded. "Yeah...I...," his eyes took yet another inventory of the survivors. "Yeah, I'm all right," he started shuffling to the tree line, hugging himself against the early morning chill. His polo hung off him in torn shreds from Oin's hasty treatment.

He leaned heavily against the palm tree he urinated against, trembling. He was suddenly flooded with profound relief tinged with guilt. When he returned to the campsite a few moments later, he sank to the ground next to Kili and began feeding some of the kindling Bilbo had brought over into the camp fire. He couldn't get warm enough.

"It's day," Kili almost felt guilty for disturbing him. "We should keep the wood for the nights. It'll be warm enough soon, but if you're cold, there's blankets we salvaged from the plane." He offered Fili some space. "Do you want me to wake Ori? I'm sure he'll be happy to see you."

The truth was, Kili felt awkward. They never talked, Fili and him, and finding out that Fili was much closer to his uncle than his own nephew was, that wasn't very constructive either. Kili just wanted to go for a quick swim, return and dry up in the warming sand and only then worry about what the day was going to bring. But the way to the ocean, the shortest way, was littered with the bodies of people he knew.

"I...you're right," Fili sighed. "I'm not thinking clearly." The pile of blankets that hadn't been touched sat nearby. He reached for one and pulled it slowly over his shoulders, careful to avoid his fresh injury. "H-how did you survive, Kili? It looks like everyone in the rear of the plane was killed."

Kili blamed his own memory, because he himself had no clue where Fili was supposed to be sitting, while Fili apparently remembered Kili's seating perfectly. "I was away from my seat," he said. "As were you, weren't you? You weren't hooked to a chair when we found you."

"No." Even in the pre-dawn, the pink tint to Fili's face was visible. "I was in the restroom," his eyes skipped away guiltily.

"You broke uncle's fall," noted Kili.

Fili let out a half-laugh, half-scoff that shot pain through his skull. "Yes, I suppose that's one way of putting it." He pulled the blanket tighter around himself.

"I don't see any other way of putting it. Whatever. I'm going to see if I can find some food out there. You should get some rest. You can tell anyone who asks that I'll be back in a few, okay?"

"Wait," Fili called softly after him. "You shouldn't be wandering around alone, Kili. Let me come with you?"

"You're hurt. I was only waiting for someone to wake up so someone knows where I am. Stay." Kili didn't want Fili along, to be honest. He was injured and he was close to Thorin. If Kili got him into trouble one way or another, he was going to be the one held responsible.

Fili frowned. "Thorin would be disappointed in me if I let you go alone. But," he picked up on the young man's obvious reservations about him, "it's up to you."

He received a snort instead. "Thorin would be disappointed in me if I needed you to come along." Fili clearly saw Thorin differently from Kili. "He wouldn't stop reminding me for days. So please, I appreciate the gesture, but no." Kili hopped up and started walking. "Get some rest," he told him as he spun around in his steps, "it'll be good for you."

Fili was truthfully too tired and sore to argue. Kili obviously had some unresolved issues with his uncle, but it certainly wasn't in Fili's place to play psychiatrist. Still, he felt a strong need to see—really see—the carnage for himself.

He got carefully to his feet so as not to wake the others and did a slow walk-through of the crash site. Each dead body he discovered dealt him a physical blow. He could recall only recently meeting with these fresh-faced recruits, so excited to be joining Durinco and to be going along on the trip. 

And Mr. Yallin—the poor man had lost his wife only two months ago. He insisted on coming to bring himself out of his doldrums. He was so disfigured it appeared as if he had been crushed. My god, if Thorin had still been seated next to him...Fili's legs would no longer support him. He sank into the cool sand, sobbing silently.

From the cover of the trees, Kili watched the scene with sadness. He pulled himself away in order to give Fili some privacy. They had all lost someone precious, the day before. The jungle welcomed him back with open arms and a sticky heat. If he had a hatchet, he would have been able to get himself the best path without having to worry about thorns and the dangers of the undergrowth, but there was nothing else to do but to be very careful, step by step. Soon his gaze fell on a coconut tree, conveniently located near a tree with wide branches.

Kili looked up like a man with a challenge he was about to take up. He stretched his arms above him.

He could do this.

Fili allowed the soothing, gentle crash of the waves to assuage his tears. Surely, they couldn't have asked for a more beautiful place in which to have crashed. The thought made him chuckle.

When he returned to the group of survivors, all were still sleeping, and Kili had not yet returned. He knew the kid had issues with him, but it wasn't right for him to be out there all alone. 

He could see the path that Kili had taken into the foliage and decided to follow him, tossing the blanket aside as the sun rose and began to warm him. He'd gone about five minutes into the foliage following the bent-back leaves, and calling for Kili before he actually found him.

To come crashing through the woods with such noise, Kili's eyes were on him before Fili knew where to look. He sat on the ground, stripping sticks of wood in front of him. Long fibers of bare wood were apparently what he was trying to harvest. "What are you doing here? I told you to wait at the camp."

"I," Fili was at a loss for words, "you—you didn't come back and I got concerned. Is there anything I can do to help? What are those for?" he wondered.

"I've only been gone for a few minutes," Kili said exasperated. He didn't need Fili's concern. Not that it wasn't flattering, to have the company's pride working so hard to get on his good side—his, Kili's. Kili knew he was one of the hardest working people in the company, but he also knew that most people looked down on him because he was Thorin's only nephew, and they probably assumed he had just snapped his fingers and gotten the traineeship just like that. "But fine, since you're here. Your hands are fine, right? Then help me. Like this."

He showed Fili how to bend the twigs at intervals, not snapping them but rather making them tender and supple.

"There's food in it for you if we can make this work."

"You seem like a trustworthy guy," Fili smiled, kneeling next to him and picking up a branch, "I'll take your word for it. Besides, I like a nature project. I always wanted to join the Boy Scouts when I was a kid, but my father wouldn't let me." He began bending the branch as Kili had instructed.

"My uncle wasn't too pleased, either," Kili shrugged. That hadn't kept him from going—Thorin hadn't become his legal guardian until much later. "Make sure it doesn't break, or it won't be as good." He finally started twisting the fiber into helices. "Just like that," he told Fili, "keep going, and watch your head," and scaled the tree with the wide branches.

Fili smiled as he watched the brunet effortless shimmy up the tree like a simian. His shoulder ached in sympathy. "What are we making?" he called up to him. 

"Rope!" Kili called back. "I'm sure we won't be here for long, but if we are, it's one of the best things to have around." He crawled further up until there was no other way further than to move into the palm tree. Lithe as a monkey, he switched trees and clung tightly around the rough bark, climbing up like he had no idea how far away the ground was beneath him. The tree shook violently. "Incoming!"

From the tree fell a coconut. And then another.

"I suppose this would be a bad time to tell you that I have a deathly coconut allergy," Fili called back up to him, moving as quickly as his injuries would allow from where the missiles were falling. He continued to work on the branches as Kili procured food.

"All the more for us," Kili called back with a laugh, though he wasn't sure if Fili meant it as a joke or if he was serious. He found eight more coconuts to drop down to the jungle floor before he started crawling back down. A few feet above the ground, he suddenly slipped. His hands tried to grab on but failed. The last three feet, Kili fell down. He landed on his back next to Fili and two coconuts and groaned, stretching his back in pain.

"Oh Christ, I'm getting old."

"Jesus!" Fili exclaimed. "Please be careful, Kili. Breaking a bone out here could be fatal!"

This close and in the sunshine, the similarities between Kili and Thorin were quite evident, as least physically. Sure, Kili's eyes were a deep brown, but he had the same body shape and type. He was even hairy in the same places, Fili noted.

Kili's smile, however, seemed to come with a lot less effort than Thorin's did. It was hard to imagine Thorin as this lithe, young, fun-loving creature. 

"I managed to finish up the tenderizing while you were up there risking your life," Fili smiled. 

Just like that, Kili got back to his feet. His back still gave him a bit of trouble, but he was already laughing. Sometimes, taking a fall was better than sitting at a desk and feeling like you hadn't done anything useful all day. "Good, good," he grinned. "I'll take it from here. Can you collect the coconuts?"

There wasn't much rope yet, though he managed to prepare a small netting, putting in large twisted leaves where he didn't have enough yet. With just the two of them, it would be a hassle bringing all the coconuts to the beach without them slipping from their hands constantly. This makeshift sack made it much easier.

"Because we did all the work, let's have the first one, okay?"

"Kili, I was serious," the blond told him, "I can't eat coconut. I nearly died eating a Mounds bar as a child. My throat closed up and I ended up in the hospital for a week. I'm not even sure I can touch the meat of a coconut without getting sick. But I'm sure the others will be thrilled," he told him. "I'm really sorry I can't benefit from your hard work." He smiled. "What are the chances of us finding a cheeseburger tree?"

Kili pulled a face at the mention of hamburger. He scuttled back to find a place against the trunk of the tree and started looking for a way to crack the nut. Not, unfortunately, that he could find one. "Uncultured savage," he threw in Fili's direction. "I bet you'll want a milkshake waterfall after that."

"God, yes," Fili groaned, and his stomach growled. "Vanilla's my favorite. Hey, listen," he got to his feet to help Kili carry the haul back to camp, "there's lots of metal pieces around the crash site. I can tell you that from first hand experience," he raised an eyebrow. "And, let's be honest," he grinned, "Dwalin could probably smash one of those between his thighs."

"Oh!" Kili cried out and flung himself back. "Please tell me I did not hear that correctly!" 

He did _not_ want to think about Dwalin and anything milky between his thighs, much less food he was intent on having. Thoughts like that had the potency to get him horribly distracted. His rebellious mind did, naturally, conjure up an image of just that, as well as Fili and his vanilla-flavored milkshake waterfall. Not that he was _drinking_ from it in Kili's mind. "I was going to say we just sit here for a while, where there's shade, you know, but now..."

Fili of course had no idea what thoughts were running through Kili's head. "I'm joking about Dwalin, of course," he smiled. "But I would imagine that Bombur character might have a suggestion. He's a very gifted chef. We ought to head back, don't you think?" he queried. "I imagine Thorin will wig out if he wakes to find us both gone."

Mosquitoes were starting to swarm around the site. Yes, it was definitely time to go. "He probably knows, Bombur does," Kili figured while he hoisted the net onto his back. "So what do you think you could eat? So we could look for it." He walked with a jump in his step. Kili's back still hurt, though he didn't mind it so much. He was glad enough his wound hadn't been torn open by his clumsiness.

Kili pointedly ignored talking about Thorin.

"I might have been dreaming, but I think I overheard Bombur saying last night that he found a stash of peanuts in the fuselage," Fili told him. "I'm not allergic to those. Are you sure you don't want help with that?" he asked Kili. "Your back must be killing you about now."

"Peanuts aren't meals." Kili shook his head at the offer. He did badger Fili into walking in front of him to, as he explained it, 'clear the way'. What he mostly wanted to do was take a look at the wound that Oin had treated yesterday. It didn't look like it was getting infected, thank goodness. "Maybe if we find some bananas. How about bananas?"

"That'll work," Fili told him. "I love bananas."

They walked in silence for a few moments until they arrived back at the makeshift camp.

Fili raised his hand in greeting to the men who'd awoken and were sitting around the campfire. "Kili found us some breakfast," he told them all, gesturing at the young intern. "We went _together,_ " Fili assured them all, before they could protest. "Neither of us would be foolish enough to go alone, of course." He sat down next to Thorin. "How are you feeling?" Fili asked him quietly.

"I'm alive." Thorin was well aware of the others looking in on them and kept his back straight. "That's good enough. You? You should be resting, not heading out into the jungle on another one of Kili's whims."

"He made rope, and a net, and brought back food, trying to ensure our survival until help comes," Fili longed to take Thorin's hand, but could tell by the set of Thorin's jaw that it would be a mistake. How he longed for the day when they didn't have to hide their relationship from the world!

"I think your nephew's pretty brilliant," Fili admitted. 

"Don't tell him that," Thorin huffed. "I spent half his childhood getting him to think realistically, I'd hate to see him relapse into what he does best, which is to dally around and do everything his own stubborn way. So we got a net. That doesn't mean we're saved. Have you seen ways to make a distress signal?"

Fili frowned. He was more than a little disappointed that Kili and Thorin, despite being related, seemed to know very little about one another. Worse yet, they seemed dismayed instead of proud about what they did know.

Fili had never been terribly close to his father. Vili Disson was a very driven man who had little tolerance for failure. In fact, when his mother developed lumbar cancer and lost her ability to walk, he saw _that_ as a failure and divorced her. 

Fili lived with his mother. It was rough leaving her alone for a week. He hoped it wouldn't end up being longer. But if he allowed himself to dwell on it, he would accomplish nothing. And he couldn't afford to get caught up in whatever family drama was crippling Thorin's relationship with Kili.

"A fire?" Fili suggested. "Heaven knows there's enough to burn on this island."

"Actually," Bilbo sat down next to them and interrupted them, "I wish you good luck if you want to set a big fire here. We're on an island and we don't know how big this jungle is. If we just set anything on fire for a beacon, we risk ruining things we might need. I was thinking of looking for people today or trying to find a way to transmit a radio signal. Are you with me?"

"You should consult with Gloin on that," Fili turned to the steward. "He's a great electrician. He's done a lot of design work for Durinco." Fili nodded and offered his hand to Bilbo to shake. "I’m Mr. Oakenshield’s assistant, Fili. That's Gloin, over there," he signaled towards the redhead who was sitting with Dwalin prying open coconuts.

"Nice to meet you. Sorry if I ask you to tell me your names again. This is a lot of people and I've never been very good with names." And off Bilbo went, sitting down next to Gloin to talk away.

Thorin sighed. "There's no privacy to be had around here, is there? Have people cleaned themselves up somewhere? Not, I should add, by taking a swim in the ocean."

"There is fresh water in the jungle," Fili told him, "but earlier I heard Bilbo telling everyone that bathing in salt water is good, especially for those of us with open wounds. I was just about to go do so, in fact," he turned to Thorin with a soft smile. "Care to join me? We can walk down the beach, out of sight of the others."

Truth be told, Fili was dying to simply take Thorin in his arms and hold him, celebrating having survived the crash. To do so naked in the water would be an extra added bonus.

Thorin looked at Fili for a long time. He watched the people around them, as well as the absence of any real help being on the way. "And what will they say when they see you and I heading off together?" he wondered. "Where there's no meetings we're supposed to attend together and no projects you're helping me on? There's no privacy on this island, Fili. There will be talk."

"But, Thorin," Fili pleaded with his eyes, "there is _already_ talk, as you well know. To ignore it would be futile. Especially now. We could have died yesterday! I, for one, don't want to hide how I feel for you another minute," he declared, reaching for Thorin's hand and taking it. "Those who matter...they don't care. And those who care, don't matter."

But Thorin had stopped at Fili having feelings for him already. How was he—how did that happen, anyway, for him to suddenly say it like that? Sure, they had great sex. Fili was inventive and always available. But there was never a discussion about exclusivity.

He was sure that in the real world, Fili would have never asked him something like this. So, under the assumption that the rescue troops would be here soon, he looked at Fili and shook his head. "Three days. Give me three days."

Fili sat back, slowly extricating his hand from Thorin's as if he'd accidentally touched something he shouldn't have. "Three days?" he cocked his head to one side, as if trying to process what he was hearing.

Was it possible that after all this time—and all the intimate moments they'd spent together—Thorin truly wasn't interested in him? Fili had always thought he was a good judge of character. Was he living in some sort of fantasy bubble? "Sure, Thorin," he heard himself saying. "W-whatever you need." What else could he say, after all? "I'm going to take that bath, regardless," he said quietly. "Why don't you eat something?" he advised, getting up. 

He left without another word.

"Ah, coconut," Thorin said without much of a smile. He watched Fili leave and wondered if he was making a wrong call here. Fili was loyal to a fault, but Thorin had little traction on him here. There were no bonuses or raises he could offer to win him over. He was a catch; Thorin knew that. If nobody came to rescue them, three days was a fair time to consider if he did want something more.

But if they did take them off this damned island in three days, he was going to have to work hard to bring Fili back to where they left off.

Thorin didn't know. He just didn't. He had just survived a crash, only to wake up to Fili demanding more from him. His eyes glanced over the others in their company and caught on a familiar figure.

With a developing headache Thorin got to his feet and walked the other direction, up to the dwindling campfire. "How are the coconuts coming along?" he asked Balin.

"Not much to them," the old man sighed. "You open them, scrape the meat out and eat it. Unless you'd like to try the milk. It's only slightly more interesting than water, to be truthful." He stroked the patch of beard where the coconut milk had made him sticky. "Looks like your boy has the right idea," he nodded in the direction of the ocean, where Fili had gone. "Getting cleaned up. We all look a mess." He handed Thorin a coconut. "Lad's lucky to be alive, as is Bifur. Honestly, Oakenshield, if you had stayed in your seat, you'd probably be dead too right now."

Nori, who was seated close enough to overhear their conversation, chuckled darkly. "Sure is a good thing you went to join the Mile High Club, Thorin," his eyes were full of merriment. "Saved your life, that little piece of ass."

Thorin looked at him coolly. So they all knew, that was it? "I'm still your boss, Nori," he said in warning, "be careful of your allegations. I believe I owe him my life, yes, but do not mistake my gratitude for something you shouldn't be thinking about." He kept his eyes on Nori as he took the coconut and drank from it. The taste was poor—but at least nourishing. "I will go for a dip later. As should you. I've been told it's good for you, and with this heat...well. If I happen to be in his general neighborhood, please, don't assume."

"Whatever you say, Mr. Oakenshield," Nori cut his eyes to his advertising partner, Dori, who returned his amused glance. "Sorry to have mentioned it."

When Nori sat back down next to Dori, a coconut half for each of them, he murmured, "He’s in denial, that one."

"I won't argue you that," the older man chuckled, pulling a strip of coconut from its shell.


	4. Better Company Than A Volleyball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Ori go for a swim. Kili divulges more about his relationship with his uncle. Bilbo and Gloin bond.

Fili, true to his word, walked down the beach and around the bend, where foliage and wall of rock could shield him from the others. It wasn't so he wouldn't be seen naked—that was the least of his concerns. He just wanted to get away from _all_ of them. From eyes that followed him and knowing leers that vanished like clouds before the sun as soon as he turned to face them. From words they thought he didn't hear, and worse, from those they said knowing full well he could. 

Thorin's words and actions had hurt. To deny that would be pointless. He stripped away what was left of his clothing as tears fell. Was this all for nothing? Was he the brunt of the company's jokes, only to be turned away by the man he loved? All the hard work and skill in the world couldn't save him from that kind of pain and shame.

Fili felt a tug, then a tear near the wound Oin had cauterized the day before. A bit of blood trickled from it. He had tried to be careful while removing his shirt, but apparently careful wasn't good enough. He had to get into the water and get some salt water into it immediately.

When the serrated edges of the wound touched the salt of the ocean, they burned instantly. But more surprising was the quiet "Hey," that came seemingly from out of nowhere, at least until Fili turned around. Behind them stretched the faint beginning of cliffs and, above, the emerald cover of the jungle. It looked like a bounty island, with ivory coasts and water that shifted from a deeper navy to a saturated sky blue, and then to sand. In front of that vista stood Ori, leaning back as if to let himself fall back and disappear from sight. He didn't look like he would be a natural in the water, but he did seem to like where he was.

"What's wrong?" Ori didn't look at him as he asked it. He knew his friend; by looking at him, he would only corner him. "Aside from, well, everything?"

The pain of the salt water in his wound was quite bad—a necessary evil—and Fili hoped Ori would accept that as a reasonable excuse for his tears. "I wasn't as cautious as I should have been undressing," he told his friend. "I'm bleeding a little," he said sheepishly. "But Bilbo assured me that salt water is the way to go. God, I hope so," he gritted his teeth. "It hurts almost as much as when Oin burned me in the first place." Of that, he remembered nothing but pain.

The water was much warmer than he had anticipated, thank God, and he sank into it until it reached up to his neck. Allowing the occasional wave to crash over his head, he knew the back off his head must look a mess as well. Oin told him he'd had to pull shards of glass out of it. "Do you see anything from up there?" he asked Ori. "Anything that looks like civilization?"

"I see _you,_ " quipped Ori. "Not much civilization, I'm afraid." He waited for the friendly scowl that would follow. "Mind if I join you?"

He didn't mean the physical wounds when he asked him how he was doing, actually, but if that was what Fili was comfortable telling him, then that was good enough for Ori.

Fili knew Ori hated it when he talked about Thorin—especially about the physical relationship he shared with the man. So he didn't, wouldn't, burden his friend with that. "Yes, please come in," he beckoned. "The water is lovely, Ori."

What he didn't tell him is that he'd felt something swim between his knees more than once and it made him a bit nervous. He rather wanted his friend nearby. 

After Ori climbed down and joined him in the water, equally naked, Fili did feel safer. He always felt better when Ori was around. "D'you suppose we'll be here a long time?" he asked the question most of them were surely struggling with.

Ori paddled around on his back. Oh, the water was lovely. And none of the company's intimidating bigshots were there, causing him to feel much more comfortable with being naked. It was just Fili—Fili who didn't flaunt his own nakedness, which Ori appreciated, or he wasn't sure how he was going to keep his biggest secret from his best friend much longer.

"Truthfully?" he wondered. "I don't know. I expect people to be looking for us, but there's a lot of cliffs around here, so it could be difficult to reach by boat. I think we'd better prepare for a few days, yes. But hey, you and Kili found coconuts. I mean, not that that's of any use to you, but we'll just find you something else. The main thing is, we've got food."

Fili chuckled. "Heh, yeah. Yum," he rolled his eyes. "I think death by coconut might be quicker than sepsis. By a few days, at least," he joked. "Speaking of," he turned to his friend, "would you take a look at the back of my head and my back? See if everything looks all right?" He walked slowly to slightly more shallow water until it reached up to his waist and turned his back on the redhead. 

Ori naturally flushed, but he was glad he didn't do so until Fili was looking away from him. "Your shoulder wound is bleeding," he cringed, "but you told me it was, so I guess it looks...good? Honestly, it looks really gross, to think that you had a piece of metal there. I bet it'll leave a nice war scar. Maybe you can get Oin to stitch you up if he finds thread or, I don't know, fish guts somewhere? I don't think you're going to want to sear it shut again. I can't really see the back of your head, with your ridiculously blond hair in front of it."

"So...move it?" Fili suggested, as if it was obvious. "You aren't going to hurt me or anything," he assured him. "Just make sure Oin didn't leave a piece of mirror embedded in my skull. I'd really appreciate it." A wave swept past them, pushing Ori against Fili, who chuckled. "Fish guts?"

Ori immediately created space between them. Fuck. That little maneuver would be haunting his dreams for days to come. "Fish guts," he said coolly—Fili didn't see him and didn't know—"I think I heard that on television somewhere. Could be wrong though." The hair refused to be pushed to the side properly, wet and clingy as it was, so Ori did what next made sense; he lay his flat hands against Fili's scalp and started trying to feel anything protruding.

Fili hissed and drew away, "Sheesh, Ori. Gently, gently," he admonished. "I think you mean cat guts. You know, for sutures. But, we can ask Mr. Baggins. He seems to know _everything,_ " he remarked. "Lucky he survived."

A moment later, Ori realized Fili was shaking...and crying. 

"Hey, come on," Ori said quietly. "I'm not sure there's cats on this island, but we can see what we can do, can't we?" He wasn't sure whether Fili was lashing out at the steward or whether it was just everything, piling up.

"Even if there were, I'm not about to kill one," Fili said softly. He took several long, slow deep breaths to try to calm himself. "Ori, I brought along a supply of Durinco polo shirts. Hopefully they're still with the fuselage—in baggage. I know I'm going to need a new shirt once night time rolls around. And this sun....shit, you and I are going to burn like crazy. We should stay in the shade as much as we can."

He turned to face his friend. "You've already gotten some pink on your forehead, and your cheeks, there," he raised his hand and indicated the overexposed spots, caressing them with a thumb. "I brought sunscreen in my big suitcase...maybe we can find it."  
Ori stepped back from Fili and announced, "No shards, as far as I can feel. I'll check it again when your hair's dry, all right?" Just around the corner lay the plane, but it wasn't very tempting to look around for anything usable yet. "Maybe after we bury the others, we should take a look. It feels disrespectful, going through the luggage while they're still there, in this sun. Besides, if the troops come in, they'll probably be better preserved for a proper funeral if they're—" 

What a horrible topic to be discussing. Ori shut up. "I don't see how we're going to keep out of the sun," he said truthfully. "We're doomed to get tans, my friend."

"I don't relish surviving a plane crash only to die of skin cancer," Fili smiled softly. "And it's not a sin, you know...going through the plane looking for stuff we could use. If I had died, I wouldn't be angry if you all wanted to wear my underwear." He playfully splashed water at his friend.

"Oh," Ori returned the favor, "and what makes you think we're not doing so already? Mr. Balin says he thinks the pairs he found are really comfortable." He started wading back to the shore though; he didn't fancy being riddled with second degree burns before the week was over. "We'll make it, you know. They'll come and we'll get out, and as good as we can, we try to move on."

They dressed in silence, but finally Fili felt compelled to turn to his friend.

"Ori? I just wanted to tell you that I'm so very glad you're all right. That you weren't killed, I mean," he clarified. "I don't know if I could... I'm not sure I want to live without you."

Ori laughed in embarrassment. "Oh, come now." His clothes stuck to his wet skin and he figured he should have let himself dry first. Getting a sunburn had ruled against that, and besides, he'd probably join in on the expedition that would be off to find people on the island in an hour or so. "I'm sure you could live on without me. I'd be very offended if you stopped trying if I died. But you make my life a lot better just by being here, too."

If only there was no Thorin Oakenshield, Ori would have allowed himself to hope.

"How about we do this again tomorrow? Get a swim without the others around? I mean, we're stuck here until people show up to get us off this island, and privacy is pretty much non-existent around here, but this comes pretty close."

"Tomorrow then," Fili's eyes clung to Ori's, but they weren't laughing. "It'll be the high point of my day. Unless, of course, we get rescued," he added.

"If we get rescued, we do this in the first pool or ocean we find." Ori smiled for the sake of his friend, who needed it. "I think I'll find myself some shade and sit here. It's nice and quiet here. I mean, over at the camp fire all they do is discuss politics. Not my cup of tea, you know. You're welcome to join me if you want. Kili said you made the rope yourself. Maybe we can make some more of."

Maybe he did stand a chance...but Ori felt bad for thinking that immediately. Just because Fili looked like something had seriously gone wrong with Thorin, that didn't mean Ori had to take his chance while his friend was vulnerable. But he wanted to. If he did stand a chance. Guys like Fili and guys like Ori belonged to different leagues—that they had become friends had been something of a happy accident.

Fili smiled at Kili's generous claim. "I did it after he showed me _how,_ " he confessed. "To be honest, I didn't even know making rope from a coconut tree was possible. He's a real Robinson Crusoe, Ori."

With all the praise Fili was heaping on Thorin's nephew, what he said next was no real surprise. 

"We should ask him to join us."

"...Yeah. Sure." 

There was no chance, then, Ori concluded dejectedly, to spend time with Fili alone. Kili was a nice enough guy though, and he was undoubtedly able to teach them more useful things to get around while they waited for help. Ori had never expected to be able to make rope without the use of tools they didn't have, but Kili had done it—and now Fili was doing the same. "Go get him. I'll be here."

"Now? All right, then," Fili was glad his thought to include Kili was met with no resistance from Ori. Poor Kili was surely feeling an even stronger version of survivor's guilt than were the rest of them. He didn't know anyone, not really, and his uncle didn't seem to have the best opinion of him. Fili felt bad for him—he also found himself oddly drawn to the headstrong, devil-may-care fellow.

"I think the three of us will get along famously," Fili concluded. "I'll go see if I can find him."

He was loath to leave Ori so soon. With all the time he had spent on Thorin and the company lately, Fili had really neglected him...and he missed him a great deal. "I won't be gone long," he promised as he started heading back up the beach.

The walk, though not more than a quarter of a mile, exhausted him. When he finally sank down onto a log next to Dwalin, his pallor was pale. 

Dwalin took one look at him and ignored Balin, with whom he was discussing the burial of the victims who were still out in the sun. Dwalin had planned to dig a grave somewhere, but Balin had said that perhaps the beach or somewhere close to where they'd be staying would not be good. They both weren't sure how the smell of a number of people at the same location would be—on top of the hygienic matters.

"You look ill, kid," he noted. "How's your wound? Show me."

Balin now turned his attention to him too. "Oh. Dwalin, I don't think Fili ate today. Have you been in the sun a lot today, lad?"

Fili felt more than a little uncomfortable being fussed over by the two formidable men. Their voices buzzed like insects in his ear. "I...," he said, bracing both hands on the log to keep from swaying dizzily, "I think I just overdid it," he surmised. "M'not hungry," he also insisted. "Just...need to lay down, I think. I was looking for Kili."

"We've got nuts," Balin offered helpfully. "Don't starve yourself until we truly have no food left. You do look a bit under the weather, son." Balin got up to get a pack of the nuts without waiting for a response, while Dwalin grunted, "That monkey's off in the trees again. Says he wants to check out if there's other food or resources he can use. You'd wonder what he's doing at a company like Durinco, wouldn't you? Now, you're going to stay put until we see you eat something."

Fili nodded. He wasn't about to go chasing Kili up a tree with his wound threatening to reopen. "Sure, peanuts would be fine," the blond told them. "I just got really, really dizzy all of the sudden. Maybe it _is_ the heat," he conceded. 

He accepted the bag of peanuts Balin handed him, thanking the elderly man with a smile. A bottle of water found its way into his hands as well. True to his word, the others wouldn't let him leave the spot until he had finished the bag. Drinking the water actually cleared his head considerably. Perhaps, for all the water that surrounded them, his dizziness was due to being dehydrated. He made a promise to himself to keep drinking.

Too lethargic to go find Kili or walk back to where Ori wanted to camp, he made his way back to where he had slept. Thankfully Thorin wasn't there. He picked up a blanket and the folded up pair of jeans he'd been using as a pillow, and carried them about twenty yards away into the shade of the outermost trees to lie down.

When a concerned Ori came to look for him thirty minutes later, he was sound asleep.

Ori looked to Balin, then back at Fili.

"Oh, he's just sleeping, that one," Balin clarified. "He came here low on energy. I don't know what compelled him to go for a swim and stay out when he should be resting. You were waiting for him, weren't you? He said he was looking for Kili. He'll be back later. Bilbo went to find him and take him scouting. He says help should get here any time now, if it comes. They've only got so long when it's a crash, to find survivors, but he also says not to sit idle and wait for it. I suppose he has a point."

At that moment, Thorin came walking through the brush. His hair was wet and he was naked to the waist. Clearly, he had gone into the jungle and had a bath somewhere. Ori remembered hearing him say he didn't want to get into the ocean.

Thorin knelt to check on Fili. "I knew going into the ocean would be too much for him," he muttered. "Who knows what bacteria are in that water? Were you with him at least?" he addressed the mousy redhead whose name he could never quite remember.

"Yes, sir," Ori piped up nervously at once. "The wound seems to be healing fine, except that he tore it a little. If Mr. Oin could take a look at it later, I'm sure he'll be fine."

If Thorin didn't mind Ori asking, why wasn't Thorin with him when Fili went for a swim? Not that Ori voiced as much; Thorin was intimidating and, on top of that, he really preferred not to hear him talk about Fili in any which way.

"Did you find a pool or a lake somewhere?" he asked instead.

"Some of the lads found fresh water last evening," Thorin told Ori. I rather prefer that over the ocean. Not that this isn't a lovely spot." He wasn't sure why he felt the need to explain himself to this person, other than the fact that he did spend an inordinate amount of time with Fili. 

"At any rate," Thorin told him, "if you travel about a mile that way," he pointed, "there's a lagoon of sorts with a waterfall. I had hoped to show it to some of the others later. Maybe Fili, if he's up to the trek. He seems a bit worn down by yesterday's events. I suppose we all are."

While that did sound lovely, Ori nodded with only timid enthusiasm. "I’m sure Fili would love you to show it to him later, when he's better rested. I think he might have overdone it a little. Some rest would be good for him." Without intending to, the silence that he let drop after that felt like a dismissal—especially when he added, "If you see Kili, could you send him our way?"

"Last I saw him he was hopping from tree to tree like an orangutan, much to the encouragement of that steward Baggins and Bombur from the retreat company. To his credit, he did find some bananas..." he reported. "At any rate, don't let yourself get dragged into Kili's shenanigans, if you can avoid it."

The CEO seemed at odds about what to do next. Ori could tell he was struggling with whether to sit down by Fili's side or head back to the beach. Eventually, and probably because Ori was there, the beach won out.

Ori wasn't stupid. If he had gotten up, Thorin would have stayed with Fili and any wrongs he'd done him would get a chance to be righted. Ori didn't like Thorin much, treating his friend like a convenient piece of meat whenever it suited him. He certainly wasn't going to hand Fili to him on a silver platter, boss or no boss.

"I'll tell him you dropped by," he said out of politeness and brushed a stray strand of hair from out of Fili's face. Now that he thought about it, he still needed to check Fili's hair for glass. Well, it was as good a time as any.

Perhaps it was the stress catching up on him; perhaps just the lazy heat. Ten minutes later, Ori lay himself down next to Fili, his hair checked for shards, and allowed his eyes to close for just a short moment.

When Fili opened his eyes some time later, the sun had changed positions in the sky. His watch read 2:16 p.m. Ori lay facing him, sound asleep and snoring ever so softly. His features, which often looked so harried—generally over a problem with the mail server or viruses insistent on infiltrating Durinco's security—were smoothed out by sleep. He looked handsome and relaxed. 

He had seen Ori like this before, of course; he'd often spent the night at his home. But here, on this island, where they all recently escaped death, it warmed his heart to be in such close proximity to someone he loved and trusted so much. 

"I'm so glad you're here with me," he whispered to the sleeping man. 

Ori moved a little, but he didn't wake.

"Maybe we should let him sleep awhile," came a soft voice from behind him. Kili, a little to their left, had been whittling a piece of wood into a shapeless thing, just smoothing over the surface with a shard of the plane's exterior. He liked the peace. Because he had picked a spot next to two sleeping people, nobody had bothered him. "You can eat bananas, right? Unfortunately more than half of them were rotting or swarming with bugs, or both, but hey, I got you a few. Eat up."

"Oh, hey," Fili yawned, more than a little embarrassed that Kili had heard his overly-dependent confession to Ori. He made to roll over onto his back, and was instantly reminded that he couldn't do that...yet. "Yum, bugs. Extra protein, right?" he quipped, sitting up. "I hope you're being safe while you're climbing up there," Fili added absently. "It would suck to survive a plane crash only to fall and break your neck while reaching for a bunch of rotten bananas."

He reached for one of the bananas and began peeling it. "Thanks, by the way. For getting these. Did you find anything else interesting out there?"

Kili chewed on a piece of leaf while he looked out over the ocean and the camp that was beginning to form. That night, they would sleep at the edge of the jungle and maybe even have a roof over their heads. "Oh, don't worry about me. You have no idea how long I haven't been allowed to climb trees. If I die, it'll be with a smile on my face. You can write whatever your want on my tombstone, too, but make it funny." He waved his hand about. "The island is beautiful, actually. There's a mangrove not too far from here. Don't go there during the day, it's swamped with mosquitoes. But I think it'll be nice for a midnight dip some time. Well, some places of it. Others have jellyfish. Just saying though, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't take uncle Thorin there. I'm not really in the mood to go for a swim and walk in on that."

"Oh." Fili's face fell. "Well, you won't have to worry about catching me and Mr. Oakenshield with our pants down anytime soon. He gave me the brush-off this morning." He continued to study his banana carefully, as if nervous about meeting Kili's eyes. "I guess that, being here, you know, it's too much for him. I've been told to give him space for a few days."

Fili did finally raise his eyes to watch what Kili was doing. "You know so much about nature," he marveled. "And you have a great deal of confidence, too."

"Ah." Kili looked at him knowingly. "You shouldn't blame him. Uncle Thorin is...complicated. Hang in there. He's stubborn, but he's not a bad man, if you know what you mean to him." Kili, for that matter, knew he would always come second after the company. He was fine with that. He had hoped Thorin to be a second father to him once, but as soon as he had stopped hoping for that, Thorin had become much easier to handle being around. "He doesn't like it when people expect things from him," he said, more to himself than to Fili.

Snapping out if that, Kili returned his attention to the piece of wood. "Confidence. Is that it? Thorin always called it immaturity."

"Oh, no," Fili clarified. "I don't think he's a bad person. Not at all. But, I had thought that I knew what I meant to him. Now, I'm not so sure," he frowned. "I thought he appreciated people who were honest and forthcoming. So, I told him I loved him today. Then, it's like he shut down emotionally." He sighed. "I take it he's let you down more than a few times."

"You love him?" Kili scowled. It was worse than he had hoped. Good for his uncle, if Thorin was smart enough to see what he had. "That practically makes you my aunt. That's...weird. Well, don't force declarations from him. If he loves you back, he's not going to tell you in words. That's not who he is. You could have picked easier people to fall for."

"I _do_ love him," Fili admitted. "It would be a lot easier if I didn't. It's made me the butt of a lot of jokes around the office. I'm not very popular with some people," he admitted. "Don't you?" Fili sat forward, clearly embarrassed. "Love him, I mean?"

Kili looked at Fili well. He sighed, "I understand why. I do love him, you know. Not as the father he was, because he wasn't one and he never even came close either. He doesn't really demand love either. But I suppose he demands respect. Not that he's ever seen fit to actually compliment me on something well done. Everyone at the office thinks I got my job because of him. The truth is that he made it ten times harder for me than for anyone else. He still treats me like I'm not worthy of his time. So it's...complicated. That's what I meant; you could have done better. Besides," he added wryly, "he's my uncle and you're about my age. You and him, it really weirds me out."

"He's a good looking man," Fili offered in Thorin's defense. "Self-made, intelligent...and he's _different_ when we're alone together than he is the rest of the time. He's vulnerable, and kind. I—," he paused. "He has to keep up a gruff public exterior, I guess, so he gets respect."

Fili chose his next words carefully. "You know, maybe he sees a lot of himself in you...and it scares him. Maybe that's why he's so hard on you, Kili."

All of a sudden Kili felt jealous. Fili seemed to be getting all of the attention that Kili had fought so hard to accomplish. Never in his waking hours had Thorin been soft on him. Never had he given Kili a reason to earn his pride, though Kili had tried and tried nonetheless.

"No," he said with a finality, "Thorin's hard on me because I'm not his. His company, that's his true love. His only love. Though I hope for you I am wrong." He got up, put the piece of wood down next to Ori, and smiled sadly. Then he walked away.

Fili didn't have any aunts or uncles; neither of his parents had siblings. But he could see where Kili's relationship with Thorin was very much like the one he had with his own father. He wished he had the right words to say. But, truth be told, he _hated_ his own father for his mistreatment of his mother. He hadn't spoken to the man in years.

Kili was surely a much better person than he was. He was here, trying, even if it was in vain, to earn Thorin's favor. Fili knew he had to help if he could, to fix that fragile relationship. 

Not today however. He really had no desire to see Thorin right then. 

With a sigh, Fili eased himself back down next to Ori, who was smiling slightly in his sleep as if he knew a secret no one else did.

\- - - - - 

Kili's feet planned to take him to the rest of the group. Before anyone saw him, he changed his mind. He didn't want to be among them. If this jungle was as vast and uninhabited as they expected it was, there had to be a place he could be alone for a while. So, without informing anyone, he trudged quietly back into the jungle. There would be nobody to judge him. What blissful silence would that be.

"That nephew of Oakenshield's a bit of an odd bird," Balin said to Dwalin as they sat side by side, looking out over the camp. 

"He's far too much like his uncle for his own good," Dwalin smiled knowingly, following Kili's movements with fondness in his eyes.

\- - - - - 

"Any signal yet?" Gloin called up to the steward, who had climbed onto a rocky shelf some 25 feet above him.

"And what signal would that be, pray tell?" Bilbo called back down, annoyed. He hadn't climbed up on the rock to see any helicopters or airplanes, nor would he be more visible than back on the beach if there were. What he did see was trees upon trees, stretching out upward over an undulating surface, further up until it reached a solitary peak.

They had stranded on what appeared to be a volcano.

Bilbo climbed back down. "I don't see any houses." He panted from the exercise. "I don't think there are people here, I'm afraid. You're welcome to take a look for yourself."

Gloin took one look down his stocky body. "I'll take your word for it, Baggins," he groused. "But I wonder..." he posed the question. "Where does this put us? Do the authorities know we have crashed?" He felt a sinking feeling in his sizable middle-aged stomach, thoughts roaming to his wife and teenage son. "I haven't survived a crash to turn into Tom Hanks, stranded on a deserted tropical island. Well. At any rate," he told Bilbo as they walked back towards the makeshift camp, "you're better company than a volleyball."

"Better company than a volleyball?" Bilbo eyed him with distaste. "I don't believe in familiar with the saying, so please, explain to me what you're trying to say." He jumped down the last few feet and landed deftly, reaching for the stick he had started using to push any bushes away from his ankles. "I'm afraid nobody is here yet, though don't despair. I've heard of cases where it took several weeks."

"I take it you didn't see that movie? Guy stranded on a desert island with a plane full of FedEx merchandise?" Gloin panted trying to keep up. "He starts talking to this volleyball that he's drawn a face on as if it's a real person there to keep him company. Names it Wilson. That's the name on the ball, you see."

Bilbo turned to him with a look that shut him up pretty quickly.

"It was a very good film," Gloin said apologetically. "Damn volleyball stole the show."

"An inanimate object is the best thing that movie has to offer, and you call it good?" Bilbo was getting feisty. Normally, this would have prompted him to see the movie, if only to understand what was so good about it. They had no rental stores here though, not even internet. None of their phones worked and were just running empty without service.

The heat was getting to him. He looked at the lonely band of silver on his finger. There were a thousand places he'd much rather be right now. At the company, they had trained them well on how to survive a crash, but they never mentioned what came after. It was just, hold tight and don't die.

"Are you married?" he asked Gloin at last while they headed back to camp. It was starting to get dark. "I'm about to. The wedding is planned two weeks from now." The chances he would be there, though, were getting slimmer and slimmer.

"I _am_ married," Gloin told him. "Twenty years now. My son Gimli's leaving for college in the fall. Oxford," he beamed, chest puffing out unconsciously. "He's on the rugby team."

Gloin patted Bilbo on the back as they walked. "You will see her again, you know. Very soon. Let's head back and rest for a bit. Maybe have a swim? It's terribly hot out here."

"I'm not—" Bilbo started, but then decided against correcting Gloin. It would only cause him trouble. "—I don't have anything to wear to go for a swim. Though you're right, it would be nice to cool down. Oxford...that's quite something." He smiled. "That's nice. Tell me more about him?"

As he began to speak about his son's accomplishments, Gloin found himself growing more and more emotional—something the gruff electrician preferred not to be, especially in front of strangers. He began to blush and tear up under his shock of red hair.

"Swim in your skivvies," he finally suggested to change the subject. "Or starkers. No one's going to care. We're all men... _now_ ," he added forlornly. 

Gloin pulled away from Biblo the moment they returned to the party on the beach and spent the next hour giving everyone the sad news of what they had discovered on their hike.


	5. Friends Having Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The survivors deal with the problem of dead comrades. Ori and Fili see (and do) something they shouldn't.

"We don't have any shovels," Bofur added his thoughts to the conversation on body disposal. "Even if these folks would have preferred to be buried, we can’t do it."

"Aye," Bombur reinforced his colleague's assertion. "We're going to have to make a pyre."

Fili, sitting next to Ori by the fire, looked a little green at the notion. Already sand crabs and other scavengers were beginning to defile the bodies of his co-workers. It was the only humane thing to do—burn their bodies and save their belongings for their families and loved ones. 

"I'll help," he stood decisively. "Just...where shall we do it?"

All eyes were aimed at Thorin for judgment, and he felt the stress of making a decision he didn't want to make weigh heavily on his shoulders. But it was Bilbo who spoke, unknowing of the fact that Thorin was supposed to answer.

"The beach. It's both a pyre and a beacon if we use the beach, and we won't run the risk of burning down anything else. Right here would be best. There's plenty of beach for us to stay if nobody wants to stay where we set up the funeral pyre, but I'm sorry, I'd rather not be hauling any bodies too far away from here, as much as they deserve it. They've been in the open sun for a full day. It will only defile their memory."

Everyone was silent after his words. Most seemed to consider Thorin, who looked displeased with the unexpected takeover despite not having gained much authority on the island for himself as of yet. Kili was the first to break the silence—and even he didn't look at Thorin when he spoke.

"I'm with you. Here?"

"How do we do it?" Thorin asked Bilbo. "Do we lay them side by side, or stack them like cord wood? We want it to be over for them—and for us—as quickly as possible."

"A stack," Bombur suggested, "like a pyramid. It would be easier if we had some accelerant. Wood on the bottom would work if nothing else. It's how they do it for Indian funerals on the banks on the Ganges."

"And I suppose you've _been_ to one of those funerals?" Dwalin raised his voice.

"I have, in fact," Bombur replied. "Wood on bottom, palm leaves or a blanket on top. We won't want to watch—nor smell them once they get going."

A shudder went through Fili and he reached for Ori's hand. 

Ori wasn't aware of that until it grabbed his own like a lifeline. Instinctively he wanted to pull away. Some close friends were always physical when around each other, but as for Fili and Ori, they never held hands. It was alien to him now. When he realized just what Fili was doing however, he only squeezed the hand in comfort and didn't let go.

Thorin had no idea, Ori thought, with something akin to satisfaction. His heart was beating madly.

"So we light them here and leave?" Kili asked. He looked at the darkness creeping into the jungle. It didn't look promising.

"Just down the beach. Some us have been right of here. We know that's where the cliffs begin. So we move left."

"Good idea," Dwalin asserted. "If we are here for awhile, we won't want to look at them every day. The agony of waiting to be rescued will be enough to deal with. We should get started before it gets dark," he spurred them on. "Will someone help me with Mr. Yallin?"

"Yeah," Fili squeezed Ori's hand, then let go. "Yeah, I will."

Thirty minutes later, they had amassed a pile of bodies on top of a pyre of kindling and palm fronds that Bombur had created. Two blankets were taken from the reserve by the fire to cover the corpses.

"Do you still have some alcohol, Oin?" Bombur asked the doctor. "Anything that helps ignite them will be useful."

Oin nodded, and opened his medical bag. "Use this," he handed the chef his spare bottle of hydrogen peroxide. "I'd like to save the drinking alcohol for us."

"Good man," Balin clapped him on the shoulder.

Bombur poured the peroxide painstakingly and evenly around the top of the covered pile of bodies.

"Someone should say something," Dori suggested. "A prayer, or some words to send them off."

Again everyone looked at Thorin, and Bilbo didn't save him this time. After a long silence, he stepped forward. He knew everyone on the pyre. Although it wasn't comparable to any ordinary funeral, it brought back memories. One glance at Kili told him that he wasn't alone at that. The boy always was transparent to a fault. Thorin scraped his throat. He was no writer of eulogies and felt hopelessly out of his depth.

"I've worked a long time with some of the men and women before us, and not as long as I would have wanted with others," he started. "It's hard for me to say something about them that applies to everyone, except that each and everyone of these people worked hard. They had dreams and did what they could to make them happen." He looked around. "As we say goodbye to these people, we also say goodbye to most of their dreams, and those they had for their sons and daughters. But those we know, let us in their honor and memory do our best to make them come true. May they be with us always."

He stepped back awkwardly and nodded to Balin.

"Admittedly," Balin stepped forward, "even our surviving steward, Mr. Baggins, did not know the pilots of our aircraft. However, they had the presence of mind and the skill to land us on this island instead of in the sea, where we all surely would have met our deaths. They, no doubt, did this, knowing full well the crash would crumple the nose of the plane and kill them. We owe these pilots our lives, and we certainly honor them in death. We can only hope their families are consoled that they died with honor, saving the lives of many of their passengers."

He paused. "Would anyone else like to say anything?"

When nobody stepped forward, a deep silence fell. They all knew what would happen next. Ori averted his eyes, for they were brimming with tears, and on the other side of the group, Kili mimicked the gesture.

Quietly, Balin stepped forward. He brought the makeshift torch in his hand to Thorin. "To you the honor," he said quietly, folded his hands before him and hung his head low. To the pyre he spoke something nobody else could hear—his private respects. Then he walked away.

One by one they followed, until Thorin was the last. He stood there for a long time. Then, without a sound, he lit the wood.

The fire thankfully caught quickly, as did the blankets. When Thorin didn't step back from the conflagration, Fili stepped forward and squeezed his arm, pulling him a few feet back, lest he be injured.

"This was the right thing to do," Fili assured him. "We couldn't allow them to simply decompose in this heat. If it were me, I would have wanted to be cremated and my things taken home to my mother."

Earlier, as they were moving the bodies, Fili had collected the belongings and jewelry of each passenger who died and separated it all by wrapping it in clothing inside a small carry-on bag. He prayed he would have a chance to personally give it to each person's surviving family or spouse.

"You'll all want to go make a new camp," Bombur assured them. "You won't like what comes next. Let me stay with them," he asked of the survivors. I didn't...I didn't know any of them like you did."

Bofur clapped his colleague on the shoulder and led his injured brother away from the pyre. Bifur's dazed eyes reflected the orange firelight.

They walked for a some time. Having few belongings, anything they needed was wrapped in blankets and carried over a shoulder. Thorin and Fili walked at the back of that procession. Nobody paid them any attention, which was why Thorin took Fili's hand and didn't let go. He never spoke.

For Thorin, this was communication. This was what he needed. A faint smell caught up with him. Thorin pitied Bombur, who was left where that smell was strongest.

Fili was far too bereaved to celebrate this tiny victory with Thorin. They were all suffering. He'd be there for Thorin, and try to respect his needs—whatever form they took.

"I hope the fire draws someone's attention," Fili said softly. "I hope we're found. My mother...I can't imagine how she'll cope without me."

"As do I," Thorin sighed. "Though I could do with a few days before we face the families of those we lost. It's not fair for us to live while the others...but we got lucky. You pulled me into the toilet. I would have been one of them, had you not done that. I would have been on that pile."

Before them stretched sand and more sand. They could find shelter here and live. But for how long? It was a fairly big island, from what he had seen—larger than most of the Caribbean islands—yet it was uninhabited. There was something strange about that.

"It was just pure dumb luck," Fili told him. "I know you don't like to fly, so I decided to try to distract you. We could have easily been crushed and killed in the loo. But, more importantly," Fili went on, squeezing his hand for emphasis, "Ori had pulled Kili into my empty seat to talk just before the crash. Had I not pulled you in for a quickie, Kili very well might have died."

Thorin turned to him. "Kili's spot was a bad spot?" His eyes sought out Kili's frame. As much as the funeral procession had dampened his spirits, he looked the way he always did; in control of the situation and slightly aloof. "Right, the other interns..."

Thorin refused to speak further, but the thought haunted him. It could have been Kili on the pyre. God. Would he ever be able to live with that?

As if reading his thoughts, Fili spoke quietly, "You didn't cause this, Thorin. You chose the destination, yes, but the crash...it's not your fault. It was the weather. And as far as Kili goes, he's quite something, isn't he? Even if he had been back in the tail with the other interns, something tells me he would have found a way to survive," he smiled fondly. "He's just that kind of person, don't you think?"

"That's what he does," Thorin sighed, remembering the car wreck from which only Kili was pulled alive. How he had cried for his mother when he had looked behind him and seen her lifeless body get pulled from the driver's seat. Thorin remembered it like it was yesterday, for it was the day his life was turned upside down by the sudden care for someone who reminded him of those he lost daily. "And yet he keeps pushing it. I heard he fell from a tree the other day and just went on like it was nothing." Thorin looked at Fili. "I'm glad he lives, as am I glad you do."

"I know it's probably not in my place to say this, but you should tell _him_ that," Fili told him. "He doesn't think you have a very high opinion of him, Thorin. Yet I know you must, or you wouldn't have hired him. Maybe now, that we've all been through such a horrible tragedy, you two could, I don't know, mend your fences, so to speak. Fix whatever seems to be wrong between you."

Fili didn't look at Thorin as they walked. He waited for the harsh rebuke, or for Thorin to pull his hand away. But neither happened. They continued to follow the others in silence.

\- - - - - 

****  
_FIVE YEARS EARLIER_  


Dwalin finished the last of his wine and the last bite of his crème brûlée. "Delicious, as always, Thorin," he thanked his host.

Across the table from him, eighteen-year-old Kili looked out the window, the look on his face betraying that he'd rather be out in nature instead of stuck at a dinner table with two old executives.

"Tell me, Kili," Dwalin broke the silence, "are you excited about heading off to university?" 

It was finally a question worthy of Kili's attention. So Thorin probably would have given him a scolding if he didn't reply to a question directed at him, but it was the first time that night either of the two men took the time to address Kili. And about a good subject too. "Oh yes, Mr. Dwalin." His eyes twinkled as he spoke, both about the subject and about the interest he wasn't given. He always liked it when Dwalin took care to include him in a company where he obviously didn't fit in, despite how many times Kili had made a fool of himself in his presence. "I'll be moving into my dorm next week. I'm really looking forward to it."

It would be the first time in years that he wouldn't be under constant supervision of Thorin or whoever Thorin hired to keep an eye on him. Kili planned to celebrate. He looked at Thorin from the corner of his eye. Not happy. Of course he wasn't. He was off to study Biology—could there be an education more useless in his uncle's eyes?

"Why don't we go have one last game of chess before I head home?" Dwalin's eyes met Kili's. "It'll be our last one until I see you again—perhaps at Christmas break. We can talk more in the study, can't we?" he asked the dark-haired youth. "You don't mind if I borrow your nephew for a bit, do you, old sport?" Dwalin asked his old friend.

Thorin eyed them with entertainment. Contrary to himself, Dwalin had always gotten along with Kili like it came natural. It was why Thorin had so often asked him to look after Kili when he was out of town or running late, which seemed to have only cemented that. It was convenient for him, he had to admit, but it was nice to see Kili not as stubborn around someone. "Go right ahead."

Kili pouted. That always happened, Thorin's permission being asked before his own consent. Not that Dwalin had to worry about that. "Come on," he bounced up, "let's see if I can beat you tonight. I will one day, you know. I've been practising."

"I have no doubt of that, my young friend," Dwalin retorted, following Kili from the room. "We'll be in the study, Thorin, if you need us," he told his colleague. But Thorin never disturbed them. And thank God for that.

Once the study door was closed—and locked carefully and soundlessly by Dwalin—the older man smiled. "It's been ages, Kili. Thorin never calls me to babysit for you anymore."

"I was fifteen," Kili leaned back against the table in the study. "I didn't need a babysitter to begin with."

"Well, you certainly don't need one now," Dwalin observed as he sat across from Kili at the small table that held Thorin's lovely marble and gilded chess set he'd purchased at Harrod's. To Dwalin's knowledge, he and Kili were the only two who had ever actually played with. "You're truly a grown man now. But I'm ever so happy Thorin invited me over tonight."

He flipped the chess set around so that the black pieces, Kili's favorite, were on the young man's side of the table. He unbuttoned the buttons as his cuffs and rolled up his sleeves, as if preparing to do battle. The tattoos on his thick, hairy forearms were revealed.

Kili mimicked his gesture. He pulled his hair up in a ponytail and peeked him tongue out. The sets were arranged on the board and the first moves made. Kili followed Dwalin's moves with a keen interest—even those that weren't aimed at the game. "I'll miss your random visits," he said between one move and waiting for Dwalin's next. "It'll be a long while before I can challenge you at a game again."

"I'll make sure to come at Christmas. Thanksgiving, if you're home," Dwalin locked eyes with the lad. "But something tells me you're really going to enjoy your freedom. It could be years before we see you again," he lamented. "I'll miss you, Kili. You're a breath of fresh air in a very stuffy world."

Kili laughed pleasantly. "Don't tell that to Thorin. Something tells me he wouldn't appreciate it." He inspected the board in order to determine his next move. "Well, do come and visit me." Nimble fingers reached for a pack of cigarettes and held it up. "Do you mind?"

Dwalin never did, which made Kili not wait for the answer. He sighed at the first draft and closed his eyes in bliss. "You know," he said when he opened his eyes again, "I used to have the biggest crush on you."

" _Used to?_ " Dwalin sat back in his chair. He knew. Of course, he knew. And, god damnit, if Kili had been anyone else's nephew he no doubt would have acted on the heavy sexual tension that usually hung in the air between them when they were alone together. 

But Kili had been underage. And he liked his paycheck too much.

Kili wasn't underage anymore.

"What have I done to have lost your favor?" Dwalin smiled cheekily.

Kili shrugged casually. He knew the way his lips curled around the filter was obscene, as he made his move on the playing board. "You've not done anything," he said. "I grew up. Dating my uncle's best friend...well, you can see the improbability of that." 

"Who said we have to date?" Dwalin asked, choosing his words carefully. "I think you've figured out by now, lad, I'm a serial bachelor. I don't get tied down. Unless," he raised his eyes playfully to meet Kili's dark ones, "you're into that type of thing."

Dwalin slid his bishop across the board to knock over Kili's rook and sighed. "I'd rather hoped at some point you'd stop thinking of me as an old man. I'm only 42, you know. Hardly a codger."

"Exactly," smiled Kili, not in the least bit concerned about the rook. "Like I said. I used to have a crush, which I don't anymore. That means I'm not interested in a date. Doesn't mean I stopped thinking about you naked though." He grinned now. How he loved these games between them. That Thorin didn't know was bizarre, but this, this was a play between them in which he was most certainly not invited to even throw in his opinion.

"One of these days," Dwalin moved Kili's rook aside gracefully, then lay his hand over Kili's, "we should end your speculation."

Kili looked at him meaningfully. "Didn't you hear? I've got a room all to myself in a few days."

Dwalin knew he was treading on dangerous, dangerous ground.

"Kili," he said, voice barely above a whisper. "I know we joke about this, playfully, and far more often than we should. But...if you mean what you say, I _would_ be amenable to visiting you at school."

Heck, Thorin might even encourage those visits, but not if he knew what activities Dwalin had in mind.

The board was forgotten, as far as Kili was concerned. "I know. It's an invitation, not a dare." He leaned back and gauged Dwalin's response. As for himself, he could almost taste the tension, and it made him undeniably hard.

"You're a smart lad, Kili, or you wouldn't be attending Cambridge. But," Dwalin sat back again, smoothing down his tie nervously, "do you understand what you're asking me? I think you do."

In reply, Kili leaned one foot against the table and balanced his chair back, one finger undoing the top two buttons of his shirt. "I'm not a kid, _Mr. Dwalin_. I know what I'm proposing." He liked this out of sorts behavior from a man usually so confident.

"I know you're a lad who enjoys a bit of fun," Dwalin's face was set in a hard line, "But, I don't like to be teased. I fully intend to make use of you, Kili Oakenshield, if that's what you want."

Kili groaned. "Please. If you keep going like this, I swear, I'll tell Thorin I'm meeting a friend and be off with you for the night." He meant it, too. In his expression was the hope that Dwalin would tell him yes. Already Kili's hand was wandering lower against his own chest, button by button coming undone.

"Not here, Kili," Dwalin's eyes were predatory, but his tone held a warning. "Thorin would ruin us both if he found out."

The older man stood up, and his burdgeoning arousal was obvious. "What? Old men have wants and need too, you know," he smiled. "I will come to Cambridge, Kili. Mostly because I won't be able to think of anything else but the prospect of getting my hands and mouth on you. But only after you're up there, on your own. Now, I should be going," Dwalin walked towards the door, holding his folded jacket over his crooked arm like a shield for his manhood.

Opposite him, Kili's mouth ran dry. "I'll be there from the twenty-fourth", he said. "Don't make me wait." That was when Dwalin left the room and Kili sat there dazed for a good few minutes thinking of all the possibilities, before rising and leaving for his bedroom.

The days went by too slowly.

Dwalin never went to Cambridge. As much as truly _wanted_ Kili, he simply couldn't take the risk of ruining his long-time devoted friendship with Thorin, or losing his very high-profile job at Durinco.

But he thought about Kili all the time. Kili reminded him so much of how Thorin had been when they'd met back at university. He was his mirror image, except for his dark eyes. Back in those days, Thorin had passion—physical passion, yes, as he and Dwalin spent many nights in marathon fuck-sessions, but also a hedonistic zeal for good food, fine art and travel. 

But then, things changed. Thorin took a position at his father's firm and began working up the ranks. Then, within months of each other, the old man died, and so did Thorin's sister and brother-in-law, leaving Thorin as sole caretaker of his teenage nephew and owner of the company. He had matured quickly and painfully. Dwalin missed the old Thorin, but he couldn't deny the power and talent Thorin as a CEO wielded. 

Their romantic trysts long ended, Thorin spent most of his time alone or at home with Kili. He didn't seem to have a lover, although once, under the influence of a few too many scotch and sodas, he confessed to Dwalin that he had his eye on a young blond who'd joined the company sales force and would soon become Thorin's assistant.

Dwalin got to see Kili again, five years later, when Thorin finally hired him. He had filled out and grown a bit taller, but was still a delight. 

And now, here they all were on this island together, survivors. Dwalin was not about to let another chance to spend time with Kili pass him by. He'd been prepared to make his move, but, surprisingly, it was Kili who came to him that night after they burned the bodies.

\- - - - - 

"Should we be out here?" Ori clutched his arms around his waist. With the darkness had come a chill, and he was clutching his blanket around him while he fought off stray twigs assailing his upper body. They progressed deeper into the jungle, thankful for the light of the moon to shine them something of a path, but it still wasn't a good place to be. Ori couldn't stop thinking about nightcrawlers and spiders they wouldn't be able to see.

It was not like the beach was any better. Regardless of the distance between them and the fire, they could still see the glow, still faintly smell the stench. "You're sure we're going the right way?"

They both stopped in their steps. They were going in the right direction; they had just found the lagoon Thorin had talked about. It was beautiful, even under the desaturating glow of the moon. On all sides tall trees circled a flat body of water, and large mossy rock completed that. Branches dipped into the water but didn't disrupt the smooth mirror. It was like they had stepped into a different world. It was peaceful here. No longer were the dead on their mind, when they were distracted by a quaintly _human_ sound.

Kili had been gone from the camp by the time they left, so they both thought about him at the same time. But while Fili wanted to step forward, Ori pulled him back. "Shh, listen," he whispered.

Another sound had him both pale and pleasantly—unpleasantly—uncomfortable at the same time. There was no denying as to the nature of the sound, for the gasp was as unbridled as it was full of need.

Fili stopped dead in his tracks. They both saw it at the same time. The moonlight was bright where it shone through a break in the trees and onto Kili and his as yet anonymous partner. They had put a blanket on the ground on the bank of the body of water. Kili, naked and oblivious, had straddled the waist of the man on the ground. They appeared to be fucking. More specifically, Kili appeared to be _riding_ him like a champion racehorse.

"Oh," Fili's soft voice was full of reverence. "Ori, we shoudn't..." he was doing to finish with _stay here and watch,_ but it would have been silly to say, because that was exactly what he wanted to do.

Kili's face was full of desire, yet wrinkled a bit in pain as well. Fili's felt himself grow instantly and embarrassingly hard in his khaki pants.

Ori looked between Fili and Kili once, and read his friend like a book. Part of him was hurt—there moved another man to stand between him and his best friend—but the other part of him, as much as he hated it, couldn't keep his eyes away from the scene.

Light skittered off Kili's skin as he moved sensuously and unforgiving. "I told you I wasn't playing with you," he panted to the man he was with. "So much you missed out on..."

So much, Kili thought, they should have done earlier. It was ridiculous that only the proximity of death had opened Dwalin's eyes to that. Kili pulled up until the body beneath him struggled up for more, then slammed down to get him in as deep as he could. "Touch me. Fuck, touch me!

"God, Ori..." Fili's voice was husky, "do you _see_ what they're doing?"

One look down at Ori's crotch, even in the dim light, gave him the answer he needed. Fili chuckled softly. "I didn't expect we'd find entertainment when we got here," he moved closer to Ori, breath soft and wet against the shell of Ori's ear.

"C-can we stay? Watch?" he wondered.

Ori jolted out of his daze. He looked reluctantly away from the scene, only to be riddled by Fili's unexpected closeness. And god forbid, he wanted more of that. "We really shouldn't," he whispered to ease his conscience. 

Just then, Kili threw his head back and groaned and Ori whimpered in reply. "Yeah. Yeah, okay."

"D'you remember," Fili whispered in his ear, hand slipping to his waist, "that night we got really drunk and you told me how hot you thought Dwalin was?" He expertly flipped open the button of Ori's corporate khakis and slid down his zipper. Ori's cock was hard and hot when his hand cupped it. "Ori, you are my best friend. We almost died yesterday," Fili told him, in a voice so soft it was almost a thought. "We can't waste anymore time not appreciating the people we love. Will you let me do this? Touch you? Make you feel good while we watch them?"

Ori flushed at once. "But, Thorin—" he started. Ori didn't finish that sentence. If Thorin had given Fili cause to do this, he had little sympathy for him. Besides, this was Fili, touching him. So what if it was easy to see that seeing Kili had made him want this? Fili was touching him, and he was allowed to touch him back. If only he could make him see...

Kili was dislodged and rolled over with a gasp. A broad, muscular back dominated him, driving hard and relentlessly into the younger under him. With clawing hands and wanton sounds, Kili only demanded more.

It was easy to get distracted by that sight and those sounds, which was why Ori closed his eyes and bit his lip. "Fee..."

"Shh, Ori," Fili raised one hand and put two fingers over his lips. "Just watch them." He slipped around Ori's trembling frame and stood so he was peeking just over Ori's shoulder. He was still able to watch the coupling and hear Kili and Dwalin's cries of pleasure.

"Don't make a sound," Fili told Ori, encircling his waist with one arm and reaching into his pants with the other hand. Ori could, no doubt, feel the blond's own arousal, present against his back. "We don't want to let them know we're here, do we?" He slowly began rubbing Ori's cock, then sped up to match the speed of the couple they were spying on. 

Ori shook his head, his body shaking. He leaned back against Fili with a racing heart, but his eyes stayed on the couple down in the lagoon.

For a moment they disappeared fully into the shadows when a cloud covered the moon. When they emerged, Kili had once again struggled on top and was leaning down to attack Dwalin's neck with his mouth. They could almost see his wide cock as it thrust into Kili, until Kili reached back and started pumping himself. "So big," Kili grinned. "I expected you were, but god..."

Kili was wholly unaware of what happened not too far from them. Ori shook all over. His legs could barely hold his weight. "Fee," he whispered, "almost—" He blushed when he whispered, "A little faster."

This certainly counted as forbidden, especially to someone who was seeing someone. It went strongly against Ori's principles to even consider something like this with someone who was taken. But he wanted Fili so badly.

Fili was no fool. He knew that. And he loved Ori too, he did. If he could do this one thing, right now, to make Ori feel special and appreciated, he was going to do it. 

Ori felt warm and solid in his arms, and in his hand. He sped up, and as Ori drew closer and closer to climax, his body tightened like a bow string itself. "It's okay. We can do whatever we want here, Ori," Fili whispered in his ear. "No one's going to care. No one's going to fault us." He kissed the side of Ori's neck and down his shoulder, the pair at the lagoon momentarily forgotten.

_Yes, there is._ Ori surrendered easily, but that did not stop the guilt. If Thorin ever found out—which he should, or Ori would tell him himself—he was going to have to answer for himself. His own hand reached back to touch Fili in reply, partly because he needed an anchor when he was going to fall, and partly because he wasn't going to have an other chance.

Below them, Kili was audibly working up to his own orgasm as well.

"Do you want him?" Ori whispered.

"Want _who?_ " Fili wondered. "Kili? I... _no._ No, I don't. I've got my hands plenty full right here, Ori." Fili pulled him more tightly against him. "How can you ask questions at a time like this?" He bit down gently on Ori's shoulder. "Focus on yourself. On your own pleasure. You deserve this." He squeezed Ori's erection gently and kept working him towards climax.

Ori didn't confess that he could fully understand if Fili did. Hell, he would want Kili if he wasn't already focused as much as he was on Fili. His stray hand reached the hem of Fili's jeans and traced the curve there.

Kili climaxed so wildly that Ori's eyes shot open and he gasped. Within the blink of an eye his hand was burying itself in Fili's hair as he pushed back against him with his hips rolling in exactly the spot that brought Ori extra friction.

"Come," Fili whispered in his ear, gasping at the pressure on his own neglected cock. He slid his free hand up under Ori's shirt and pinched his nipple gently, then harder. "Come for me, Ori." 

His friend nodded quickly. His hips moved as though on their own accord, intent on driving Fili crazy. The sounds of sex had stopped, but that didn't keep him. All that Ori could think of right now was his own release as it built up from his lower abdomen. He nearly bent his head sideways to just kiss Fili. "Please," he breathed, "Fee, oh… oh!"

All of the tension in his body suddenly seeped blissfully out and Ori's knees finally buckled. He couldn't help himself. As he pulled himself up for support, he craned and pressed his mouth to Fili's.

Fili hadn't intended on kissing Ori. He hadn't been able to find his suitcase with his toothbrush—and he hated that fact. But Ori didn't seem to care about his breath, so Fili stopped worrying about it very quickly.

His hand grew wet with Ori's release and insistent hands buried themselves in his hair, as if clinging to him for dear life. Ori kissed him deeply, as if he had wanted to do so for years. And he probably had. 

When he finally pulled away, Fili was breathless. "Will you help me get there, Ori?" he asked him. "Your hand?"

Ori laughed. "My mouth, if you want it."

They were so wrapped up between themselves that when Kili spoke, it startled them both.

"Shh."

Dwalin laughed as he lay back. "It's nothing, Kili. They won't find us here."

Fili reached for Ori's hand, entwining their fingers. "This way," he pulled Ori away from the lagoon, about forty yards into the jungle. "I'd rather not be found," he smiled at his friend, leading Ori's hand to his crotch. "I think I'm going to come embarrassingly fast," he confessed, kissing the underside of Ori's jaw. 

“I don't care." Ori dropped to his knees. Between his shaking fingers and the button, it was a slow victory to get the jeans down far enough to have Fili the way Ori wanted him. He swallowed. His odds were supposed to have been zero. Now here he was, his mouth wrapping around Fili in the most intimate way. "Try to hold on though," he whispered. "I want to make you feel good."

"Don't you get it?" Fili gasped, laying the uninjured half of his back against a tree. "I always feel good when you're around. You're like," he groaned as Ori's tongue laved the vein on the underside of his cock, "my little pocket cheerleader."

Ori's surprisingly strong hand cupping his ass had him whimpering brazenly. Where moments before Kili was the loud one, now Fili found himself having to clasp a hand over his own mouth lest his cries betray their location.

"God, Ori," he moaned. "You are _so_ good as this!"

With his mouth debauched, Ori looked up. "I try," he whispered back, flushed with what could have been misconstrued as embarrassment if _that mouth hadn't just been around Fili's cock_. Ori's own pants were riding low on his hips and his shirt riding up. With a passion he returned to his ministrations, hollowing his cheeks and yet occasionally looking up even as he sucked Fili off. He looked beautiful like this. Absolutely stunning.

_Why didn't we do this years ago?_ Fili thought to himself, laying his head back against the trunk of the palm tree, wincing at the pain it brought. He hoped Ori mistook the shudder that went through him as a passionate shiver. He felt his knees go weak, when, as predicted, he came quickly. He tried to attribute it to grief or shock, but the truth was...it was Ori. After all this time, there it was.

Ori swallowed, and came up wiping his chin with the back of one hand.

"Now we really need another bath," Fili remarked shyly, ruffling his hair. "Holy shit, what's wrong with us?" He grinned.

Ori laughed. "Many, many things." That was it then; his one shot with the object of his dreams, egged on by seeing another have sex. Others would be saddened by that thought, but Ori had no regrets. Fili didn't look at him with a look that said he wanted to go back on what they just did. That was worth enough. Ori felt a peace settle in his heart. "How about we take a dive in the sea? I'll let you convince me to go skinny-dipping just this once. It's a rare offer..."

"Absolutely, let's," Fili reached for Ori's hand again. He seemed to find great comfort with the gesture. "Ori, we can't tell Thorin what we just saw. I have a feeling that he'd be very upset if he knew his CFO and nephew were fucking."

He smiled back at Ori in the moonlight. "I, however, am going to have a hard time getting the image of them out of my mind. Or the feeling of you coming undone in my hands."

Right. The memory of Thorin fell between them again. "It's not ours to tell," Ori acquiesced while he zipped up. "And heaven knows I will think about this for a long time to come. But as much as I love what we did, you're with Thorin. Are you telling him of what we—" Ori gestured, "—you know?"

Fili took Ori's face in both hands. "While that _is_ ours to tell, I don't want him to know, Ori. Can it be something...just for us? For now? No regrets, no apologies, no confessions. Just fun between friends? Fun that, I hope, we can have again?" he leaned forward and kissed him.

"Not that I don't want to, but that's kind of cheating..." Ori looked up at Fili. He really, really wanted to continue. If there was one thing he regretted, it was his compulsion to do right by people. He didn't want to be a homewrecker. Hell, he had never thought he could be one. "Unless you tell me you're no longer together," he mused. "Then I'd be all yours. As a friend."

"Thorin doesn't _own_ me," Fili said sadly. "He's never once told me that he'd like us to be exclusive. In fact, just yesterday, when I told him I loved him, he said he needed more time. Maybe I need time too. I certainly needed this. Needed _you,_ Ori," he squeezed his hand beseechingly. "But I _do_ love him. You know I do," Fili reminded his friend. "I'm sorry if what we did made you feel bad. That wasn't my intention. I just wanted to thank you, for being such an important person in my life, Ori. You're my best friend. I need you."

Ori sat down on a protruding root. "You're not exclusive?" He blinked. That was new to him. "Well, that changes things, I suppose." A broad grin followed. Obviously Ori's conscience had been satisfied. "I really liked that. If we can do it again...but only as long as you're not exclusive. I'd feel really bad if you were. I mean, I wouldn't want to be with someone and have him sleep around either. You know."

Fili loved Thorin. That was painful. But Thorin had surprisingly held back. "Sit with me," Ori encouraged. "It's a bit of a weird night tonight."

"Maybe," Fili looked out over the ocean at the moon, "I am just a love-struck fool who all this time has been mistaking Thorin's need for sex and someone to keep his life in order as something much more than it really is. Maybe it took a catastrophic event for him to be willing to finally tell me the truth. But," he turned to Ori, "you don't need or want to hear this, do you? Tonight is beyond weird, Ori," Fili told him. "It's been downright bizarre. And, I love it."


	6. Tired of Having Sand in My Shorts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori confesses to Kili what he saw at the lagoon. Kili and Thorin have a nice, long talk.

Back at the lagoon, Dwalin handed Kili the new polo he had taken from the fuselage. "We have to be careful, kid," he gruffed, "around your uncle. This isn't news he'll accept too readily—if ever."

Kili snorted as he pulled the item on. "I'm a grown man, and so are you. Maybe, if we had done this when we originally planned to do it, but there's no crime against it now. We're not the first two coworkers to end up sleeping together. If he finds out, it'll be his problem if he can't manage it. Besides, if he wants to dictate what partners I get to have, perhaps he should have earned himself that right first."

Kili had gone for a quick swim to get the smell of sweat and semen off him, and the shirt clung to his skin. "Are you having second thoughts?" he wondered. "Because I for one do not."

"Absolutely. Second, and third, and fourth," Dwalin smiled. "I'm terrified of Thorin...and I know you are, too. We may be adults, but he's still our boss, my friend and your uncle. I _loved_ what we did, Kili, and I want to do it again. But I'd rather not broadcast it to Thorin. Can we agree on that?"

"Not broadcasting it, sure. I wasn't planning on going there anyway. But if he finds out, well. I'm not embarrassed about it." Kili eyed Dwalin as he was getting dressed, himself. "Next time, I'm not letting you get away with twenty minutes, you know."

"I should hope not," Dwalin pulled him close. "It was like having a hamburger when you really wanted steak. And believe me when I tell you I am ready for a seven course steak meal," he kissed Kili on the forehead.

Kili's stomach chose that moment to give a growl in approval of the steak.

"Heh, sorry kid," Dwalin chuckled. "Let's see if we can find something to eat before we get some sleep."

They covertly returned to camp, and nobody was any the wiser when they entered the beach five minutes apart from one other from different directions. But Kili did notice that Fili and Ori seemed to be away. He found his own spot not too far from the campfire and curled into his blanket for warmth. It was then that Ori stepped out of the jungle, nearly exactly from where Kili had exited.

He looked flushed.

Just like that, Kili knew.

Not surprisingly, Fili followed not long after that. They both had wet hair, as if they too had gone swimming in the lagoon.

Ori took up a blanket and—just as the night before—sat down next to Kili. 

Fili followed suit and they flanked him.

"Beautiful night for a swim," Fili smiled in his direction. His face was unreadable. "It's a good thing you guys found that swimming hole. The heat here...it's oppressive." On Kili's other side, Ori grinned at his friend.

"I'll be right back," Fili got up again. "I hear Bombur has some pain meds." The blond left for the other side of the campfire.

"And, here we are another night," Ori sighed sadly. "I'd rather hoped to be in a cushy motel room tonight," he lamented to Kili.

"You seem to be managing yourself quite well," Kili mentioned. He smiled to himself, like he had just told an insider's joke and either Ori got it or he didn't. "Might I remind you to be careful around Thorin?"

Kili could see Ori turn pink, even if the fire was their only source of illumination. "I will," Ori replied, then locked eyes meaningfully with Kili. "You too, Kili." His lips curled up in a mysterious, if not downright sexy, smile.

Clearly whatever had happened to him in the jungle had agreed with him.

"Ah." A quiet laugh sounded between them without reaching any of the others. "So it _was_ you two, watching us. You almost make me feel bad for my uncle. I do wish him happiness, you know, and Fili would make him happy, if only he would stop pushing him away."

"Well," Ori looked away, "don't get me wrong, but your uncle pushing Fili away certainly helps _my_ cause a great deal."

At that moment, Fili returned. "Bombur has Vicodin, or something like it," he told Ori. "I took one. Oin wants to clean my wound, but he asked me to 'let the drugs kick in first.' I'm in for a good time, obviously." He sat down carefully on Kili's other side. "I'm guessing our lack of contact with the outside world so far might mean we could be here awhile. Have you given more thought as to how we might best build a shelter?" he asked Kili. "I saw the wheels turning yesterday when you were making the rope."

Kili watched Fili for an uncomfortably long time. Fili didn't know it yet, but Kili knew exactly what Fili and Ori were doing. He couldn't blame Ori, who had long-time crush written all over himself, but he couldn't say the same about Fili. If he was this heedless of Thorin's feelings, he would be equally careless with Ori's heart. For his pleasant looks and bearing, it seemed Kili had underestimated him.

"Right," Kili snapped out of it, "well, we've got a pretty good hull, if we can drag it further ashore and get rid of the chairs, and some of the wreckage could be useful as a roof on the ground or a floor for a tree house. We could make spears out of some rods if we want meat on the table."

The hard look given by Kili did not escape Fili's notice. What had Ori told him while he was with Bombur and the doctor?

"I'll help you in any way I can, of course," Fili offered. "I look forward to seeing what your Boy Scout experience has taught you. And I think Bombur, for all his cooking expertise, has no clue how to fish. We're going to see some hidden talents rise to the occasion during our stay here, I think," he mused. 

When Kili didn't smile, Fili got to his feet tipsily and picked up his blanket. "Right, then. I should go see Oin...see what delights he has in store for me." He departed with a smile for Ori.

After Oin cleaned his wound, Fili did not return, but rather placed his blanket down next to Balin's on the other side of the fire. He turned on his side and seemed to fall asleep very quickly.

That left Kili with Ori, where he didn't mind being. Kili could think of worse company. One glance around the group showed Bilbo stressing out near Thorin and Dori looking around dejectedly.

"So," he started casually after a while, "you like him, don't you?"

Ori fiddled with the hem on his shirt, which was coming loose. "It's that obvious, is it?" He groused, not because he was angry at Kili, but because Fili hadn't returned to sleep by him. "I'm sorry, Kili," he apologized. "This place, it's got me on edge. Yes, Fili and I are very good friends. We met on his first day on the job. I was fairly new then too. We spent a lot of time together," he offered in explanation. "We're close. Maybe closer than most friends," he added, to sum up the past ninety minutes they had spent together.

"It's obvious," Kili chuckled. He wrapped his arms around his knees and rocked forward and backward where he sat. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. You and he look nice together, you know." Kili started drawing in the sand with a stick. "Let's be friends." It was a question rather than a proposal, strangely enough, and Kili looked unlike his usual confident self when he spoke.

"Yes," Ori smiled. "I'd like that. Being friends, I mean," he clarified. The two shared a companionable silence, where Ori picked up a second stick and started to draw as well. 

Finally, he asked, "You really think we look good together?"

"Mhmn," The other looked up. "Like you've been together all your life, that kind of good. Except he's on the other side of the encampment right now, and you're here. It's the first time I've seen you apart. I hope that's not because of me."

"I'm pretty sure it's not," Ori told him with a smile. "Fili speaks of you very highly. He even suggested the three of us make our own encampment. The three young ones together and all that," Ori told him. 

As Dwalin turned around on his spot around the fire, Kili considered that. "It's best if we work together as a group," he said eventually. "There's more chance of survival. It won't be easy, if this lasts much longer. Soon we'll have to consider hunting and really settling, because staying on the beach doesn't give us much shelter, even though it's good not to have to worry too much about snakes and such." He sighed. "You're going to have trouble keeping that one, you know. If he's also half involved with Uncle Thorin. Is that something you'll be able to handle?"

"I've handled it thus far," Ori frowned. He didn't feel comfortable talking about Thorin with his nephew. "I look at it this way: I cheated death and survived a plane crash yesterday. Anything's possible now," he shrugged.

"Fair enough." Kili wasn't out to tell someone off, and as soon as he realized he did come off as someone who did, he mumbled, "Sorry. It's just, he's still my uncle and I do wish him happiness. I'm not lying though, you do look good together."

It was a good thing they were far enough from the others to know nobody was listening in on them. Nevertheless, Kili's next words were quieter, and more awkward. "So, you saw me and Dwalin, didn't you? I'd really appreciate it if you didn't tell Thorin. Not that we're together or anything. It's been, well, something of a dare between him and me for years now. How much did you see?"

Part of Kili dreaded the answer. Part of it however, he realized, anticipated it.

"I don't..." Ori was clearly embarrassed. "I—we—you were on top of Mr. Dwalin. _Riding_ him, I guess you could say."

He didn't speak for a few moments, just doodled in the sand with his stick.

"He's very handsome," Ori said finally. "I've always thought Dwalin was a very attractive man. Was it...was it _good?_ It sounded very good."

The response was not what Kili had expected. Sure, he'd hoped for admittance, and he had assumed that if he got it, Ori would make it sound like he didn't regret anything more than tonight. When he recovered from the surprise, Kili smiled and nudged Ori playfully.

"He is very handsome, yes. And good. Very big, too. Trust me, if you're with someone like Dwalin, you'll want to ride him. And again, if you're lucky." Kili groaned unintentionally. He did want to do it again, he wasn't lying about that.

Ori sighed deeply at the image of Kili wantonly writhing on top of Dwalin that would probably be emblazoned on his brain for some time to come.

"It's like," Ori said, "on this island, there are no rules. We can do what we want, for comfort, because it feels good. I was so surprised when Fili touched me. I never in a million years thought he might. But, God," he groaned at the memory. "I want to do it again. And," he added, looking around one more time to make sure no one was listening to them, "I wouldn't mind catching you and Dwalin doing it again either."

He clapped his hand over his mouth, then. "I can't believe I'm talking this way!" he shook his head at his own brazenness. 

He had Kili's interest for sure with that exclamation though. "Ori," he laughed, "who would have thought, under a quiet exterior like that lives a wolf. You mean you liked watching, then?" The way Kili observed him then had nothing to do with mere friendliness. "I expected Fili to be the one persuading you to stay, in all honesty. You mean, even if you want Fili, you _liked_ watching?"

"Well, okay," Ori cast his eyes downward, "to be honest, Fili was the first to suggest we stay and watch. But I didn't exactly put up a fight," the redhead admitted, "especially once he put his hand down my pants." He chuckled softly. "You two certainly put on quite a show. And I'm sorry, Kili, sorry for eavesdropping. It's just...once I saw you two it was impossible to look away." Ori took a swig from his water bottle and offered it to Kili. 

With a chuckle, the other leaned back. When he took his own drink from the bottle, it was preceded by running his lips around the ridges of the opening, simply to try out what kind of effect it had. Kili wasn't romantically interested in Ori in the least, but there was definitely more than met the eye about this one. For someone in administration, he was incredibly honest for starters. 

"What's done is done," Kili offered. "I didn't plan to make a show out of it, but to know that you two saw it as such, it's both inappropriate and flattering. So what do you want? Right now I'm trying to figure out if you're going for Fili's heart, or his pants."

Ori looked hurt. "His _heart,_ of course," he said emphatically. "He's my best mate. I'd never use him like that. I'm crazy about him."

Kili returned him a sad look. "Does he feel the same way?"

"I know he loves me," Ori admitted. "But he wants Thorin. He's made that very, very clear."

"If he didn't want you, he wouldn't have touched you."

Ori's head shot up quickly at that assertion. "D'you think?" he wondered, and hope filled his face. "I...really? I think maybe he was just horny. And he trusts me. A lot of people here with us don't like him," Ori added. "Especially Nori."

"Horny is a kind of want. I wouldn't touch just any one person, you know, not even my best friend, if I didn't want him to some extent. Unless I hadn't had sex for months and would be allowed to deny the other's identity." Kili wiped out his own drawing and lay back. Half his hair fell into the sand, but with the beauty of the starry night above him, he didn't mind. "Why don't people like him? Doesn't everyone like him?"

"I can't imagine anyone not liking him," Ori also lay back, looking up at the endless, clear sky, his head close to Kili's, "but Nori's been especially mean to him. He says things...sexual things. Insinuations, mostly, about Fili and Mr. Oakenshield. Who knows? Maybe Nori wants Fili...or maybe he wants Thorin. Maybe he's just an unhappy person who wants to make other peoples' lives unpleasant. Anyway," Ori sighed, "here's hoping tomorrow we get found, eh?" He pulled his blanket close. "I'm rather tired of having sand in my shorts."

To his right, Kili turned his head. "I'll keep an eye on Nori, okay? I don't care who he wants, if what he says is not wanted, he's going to have to stop. Hey...if you need any help in getting Fili, just let me know, okay? Enough people have been hurt on this flight, enough people died without living their full lives. But know that if Thorin were to ask the same of me, I will do the same for him. You both deserve happiness. Not, of course, like Thorin would ever ask me. And you shouldn't be lying next to me. Go to him."

"Fili's sound asleep," Ori told him. "He took one of Bombur's pills for his shoulder. I'll be there when he wakes," he assured Kili. "I'm liking it right here next to you for the time being, if that's all right.”

Kili was fine with that. He closed his eyes, his fingers tugging up his own blanket. It wasn't a bedroll or anything similar to a proper bed, but it was comfortable enough when he put everything into perspective. "It must be really nice to be so sure to want someone," Kili whispered when they had both stopped talking for long enough to consider the conversation ended. "I've wanted people, sure, but not in that special kind of way, not for a long time. Please don't think I'm loose for sleeping with Dwalin when I'm not in the least bit interested in dating him. I'm still searching, you know. You already found someone like that."

"What good's the certainty of wanting if the object of your affection loves someone else?" Ori muttered. "Look, I know you and your uncle aren't terribly close, but if you could talk to him, maybe get an idea of how he really feels about Fili....I dunno, it might help my cause a bit. Catch him when he falls, that sort of thing?"

"Maybe. But I think if I asked Dwalin nicely, he'd get a lot more done than me. Uncle Thorin doesn't exactly open up to me. He's as stubborn as an ox, and all the times I've tried to help him, he's managed to screw things up for himself again just by being himself."

"So..." Ori yawned, "I ask you, and you ask Dwalin, and Dwalin asks Thorin, and eventually we get an answer? A bit circuitous, but then, I don't mind a little complication." He smiled. "You know, I could understand Fili loving Thorin, if he's like you. I mean, when they're alone together. He's so uptight in public, isn't he?"

He was given a scowl though. "Thorin's nothing like me. Nothing." But Kili soon deflated. "...That being said, Fili told me Thorin apparently really opens up when it's the two of them. Well. He's gotten more than me in that regard."

"Well," Ori mused, "I would imagine Thorin feels he has to set an example with you," he posited. "You know, keep a stiff upper lip and all that. Still, it would be fun to get him drunk and see what happens, wouldn't it?"

"If he ever got drunk. And what example would that be? God, if I ever end up as cold-blooded as him, kill me and get rid of the corpse as fast as you can please." The brunet threw a dark look over Ori's shoulder at his uncle, who was unfortunately watching and caught his glance, at once frowning and getting up. Kili hid behind Ori at once. "Shit," he muttered.

"What? Kili?" Ori smiled. "Surely _you_ aren't worried about what your uncle thinks, are you?"

"Oh, you're wrong." Kili hid himself as well as he could and feigned sleep when he knew he couldn't get away anymore.

Thorin cleared his throat. "Hello, Ori," he said. "Kili. A word, please."

Kili tried his best to stay still.

"He's had a long day," Ori tried to explain. "Climbing up in those trees and getting down—"

"I know full well he's awake, Ori," Thorin interrupted him. "He was chatting with you not five seconds ago. Come, Kili," he nudged his nephew with his foot. "Walk with me."

Kili groaned while he buried himself deeper under the short blanket, peeping his feet out. "All right. Fine." He got up and threw the blanket down to make a statement, before walking out of earshot from the others, which led them to the edge of the jungle. "What is it?"

The two walked towards the ocean's edge and Thorin waited until the water was touching their feet before he asked, "How are you faring, Kili? Today was....well, it was rough. Even for those of us who appear to be keeping it together. We laid nine people to rest. Either of us could have easily been among their number, but for extenuating circumstances," he looked out over the water, wind blowing his hair back from his face. "Are you all right?"

It was exactly what Kili had been waiting for, for years—a sign of life, of care for his next of kin. But now that he had it, it seemed too good to be true. He stared. "Are _you_ all right? Since when do you care?"

"Of course I _care_ , Kili," Thorin turned to him, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his dress slacks. "You're my family. The only family I have. I'm sorry if, over the years, I've made you believe as if I don't. You've always been so...independent," he smiled softly. "I was beginning to think you didn't need me after all. You can't imagine how relieved I was when you actually wanted to come work for the company. I was afraid I'd lost you after you went to university and stayed away so very long."

"Oh, come off it. You put me through every test in the book to try and keep me out." Kili didn't want to be having this conversation right now, not where others could look in. He turned away to the open sea. "You've never shown me a grain of anything but difficulty. Why start now? Because we're stranded and there's no way around me anymore?"

"Kili, I nearly died yesterday afternoon. So did you," Thorin reminded him. "I know that when you came to live with me, I was a terrible substitute for your parents. You spent more time with my housekeeper than with me. I regret that so much, but I had no idea how to deal with you. To be honest, I still don't. I look at you, and a part of me feels very angry. I used to be like you, and I had to put all that aside to take over the company. To raise _you_ after your parents passed. I was forced to grow up when I didn't quite want to. A part of me has always resented you. It was never your fault, of course, but I resented you anyway." Thorin was careful to keep his face turned towards the sea. "But I do love you, Kili. How could I possibly not? You are everything that I wish I could be."

"...That's it?"

For once, Kili's voice was not accusatory. They both watched the foam reach their feet, Kili's bare and Thorin's still in dress shoes. They wouldn't last long, Kili idly thought, with their fine lacquer and their already sandy laces. They were shoes to match a suit that was already half ruined. He breathed in. "That's why you never said a thing? Because I'm someone you can't be?" Kili looked for words. Not in a million years had he suspected something like that. "But what's keeping you?"

"I..." Thorin paused, "expectations, I guess. Those others have of me, based on who I am and what I'm supposed to do. Decorum, that sort of thing. Did you know, that when I turned 21, I was on a yacht sailing 'round the world that summer? A crew of us from Cambridge took her out. It was amazing. Best summer of my life. I haven't had that much fun since," he followed Kili's gaze down to his shoes.

"I guess they're a lost cause," Thorin frowned. "When we search the fuselage tomorrow, perhaps I'll find my bags. I did pack shoes more suitable for the beach," he smiled apologetically. "What I'm saying is...life throws curve balls at us. I'm not sure I've dealt with all of mine in the proper way, not if it's made me change my personality to make others happy."

Kili turned to him. "And why now? Why me? I'll be fine here, without you telling me this, though don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're finally _talking_. A little weirded out," he admitted. "If you'll listen to me tonight, then fine, listen to me now. You're a fool. Your life is your own, and I wouldn't have wanted you to accept me any less if you'd been a car mechanic or whatever. I don't care about the company. I didn't even want to work for it anymore, after every test you had me put through, but then I got in, you know."

"I knew you would," Thorin smiled. "You're brilliant, Kili. Although I can take credit for none of it. It's all you." He swiped at his eyes and Kili realized he was crying. "You were spared for a reason, you know," Thorin told him. "Some day, you'll be the CEO of Durinco. A far better one that I am, I imagine."

Kili kicked idly into the water. He flushed at the compliment—it was too alien, and too sorely wanted. "I don't want to be CEO, Thorin. I don't care about any of that. I just...I don't know what I want, but I know that it's not a title. Turn around. Look at him. You know who I mean. You've got someone who wants you. Please don't throw that away for appearances. He's a good guy, and you're about to lose him."

Thorin, who'd seemed eager to open up and chat with Kili, shut down suddenly. His eyes clouded over. 

"I can understand why you wouldn't want to be CEO, Kili," Thorin's voice was tight, "especially if you think it might turn you into me. I can't think of anything worse than that," he said softly. "I value your opinion about the company. But, please," he stressed, "don't begin to offer me advice about my personal and relationship decisions. I certainly steer well clear of yours."

It sounded more like a threat than a request, and Kili bristled accordingly. "I'm not dictating you to do anything, I'm just letting you in on what I know. Do with that information what you will." Was it so strange of him to not want to see his uncle hurt? Because Thorin would be. It didn't take a scientist to know that Ori loved Fili, and Fili had enough love for Ori for it to burgeon into something beautiful, if Thorin didn't take what he had. 

Kili took a step back. "Talk to me more often, okay? I'll try to do the same. It's...nice." He turned around and quietly walked back to the group, turning around on his heels once. A sad smile graced his lips when he did.

Thorin watched him go with remorse. He hoped he had said everything he'd intended to. More importantly, he hoped Kili had understood. 

He stayed and surveyed the ocean for a few minutes longer—calfskin shoes be damned. When he got his breathing under control, he returned to the fire lit circle, sitting down by Fili's side. 

The blond was sound asleep, and Thorin pulled the blanket higher to cover his shoulders. Pushing away the curtain of hair that had fallen over Fili's face, he kissed him on the temple.

"We're going to be all right," Thorin said, but he wasn't sure whether he was telling Fili or himself.

\- - - - 

The first morning after the funeral, it truly sank in. They had been here for long enough for help to have come, yet none had showed up. Bilbo had been foraging in what was left of the plane all morning, despite the pile of ashes that had once been his colleagues, as well as other people he'd never known and never would. He had found no means of communication; the radio was disconnected and none of the phones would pick up a signal. There was no satellite coverage. All they had were three flare darts.

Nobody was going to come for a while.

That morning, Kili asked Dwalin and Nori to help him haul large but manageable pieces of the plane over to the line of trees. He disappeared into the woods afterwards and didn't reappear until well in the afternoon. The others had gotten used to his long bouts of absence by now.

Balin was figuring out how to get more fresh water to the camp. And Gandalf, up to so far fairly useless, had turned out to be a valuable asset in delegation. He sent Bofur and Gloin to scout for waters to fish and Dori for herbs and berries.

The Vicodin had not agreed with Fili. Oh, it had served its purpose. He slept fully and painlessly, but now that the sun was high in the sky, he felt sluggish and sleepy. He felt awful for not doing more to help, but when he did get up to help Kili with his shelter efforts, Dwalin shooed him away, telling him to rest his wounded shoulder.

He was pleasantly surprised to find Thorin by his side when he awoke that morning. He had made a concerted effort to avoid him as he promised. Thorin had sought him out. Could it be his boss—his _lover_ —was finally coming around?

Delegated to rope-twisting duty later, Fili sat in the shade and braided strips of softened bark into surprisingly strong lengths of rope that Kili used to lash together a shelter large enough for all of them that would protect them from inclement weather and the sun.

He smiled when Ori sat down next to him, carrying two bananas. 

"Hey," Ori said, and handed Fili one. On him clung the faint scent of coconut milk, which meant he'd just had his share of food for the day. They were beginning to run out of coconuts though, and neither of them could think of having to eat nothing but coconut week after week. "Need a hand? Kili's got big plans, hasn't he? I haven't seen him around, but Gandalf tells me he's working hard on something. Would that I could help. You're making rope, aren't you?" He looked a little sadly at his phone. "If we had a reception over here, I could have looked up some stuff, like what kinds of trees and if leaves are fine too."

"With Kili here we hardly need to do that," Fili smiled. "He's a regular encyclopedia of wilderness survival tips. I have been trying to figure out how we might do some fishing. I think we might find some material to build a net or two in the luggage when we search the hold this afternoon. Especially in some of the ladies' bags," he looked down sadly. "What have you been doing all morning?" he asked, peeling the banana.

"Sleeping, I'm afraid." Ori hadn't been able to catch his sleep until early in the morning, which had carried his sleep further as well, which had been further encouraged by any one of them draping a shirt over his eyes when the sun started to wake up the others. He assumed that had been Kili. "Everyone's up doing useful things, and there's not much for me to do. I'd really like to learn how to climb trees, but I'm afraid I'm only going to hurt myself. Having an office job isn't an evolutionary necessary task, apparently. You could have slept with me and Kili, by the way. Weren't we going to band together?"

"I just," Fili bit his lip, "yes, we _will_ , of course we will. The Three Musketeers," he smiled. "I just thought it might be wise for me to sleep alone. Didn't end up that way, however. I think, maybe, Thorin's had a change of heart."

He took a bite of his banana and gauged Ori's response.

Of course it wasn't happy, but Ori covered it up politely, despite his usual transparency. "In which way? The good way?"

"I think so," Fili wasn't sure he should be having this conversation with Ori, but who else cared? "I may have been dreaming, but I believe he gave me a kiss last night when he lay down next to me. I'm sorry I keep talking about him to you, Ori. I know it's not right to do that," he told him. "Especially not after...last night."

"You told me you love him," Ori fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. It was already developing fringes and he should stop, but he really couldn't. "I knew what I got myself into when that happened. That's—I'm glad for you." Ori himself just wanted to disappear into the woods and cry. He couldn't though, so he swallowed that down.

"I _do_ love him. I wasn't lying," Fili lay the banana peel aside and took Ori's hand in his own. "And I love you too. You're my best friend. After my mother, you are the most important person in my life," he admitted. "I don't know what came over me last night. I shouldn't have done those things—leading you on like that. But I felt that you deserved it. I wanted to remind you how much you mean to me, Ori. And, it felt so good," he concluded. "I'm sorry."

Ori poked the string of rope Fili had already spun. If they gave him some wool, he was sure he could be more useful around here. His grandma had enjoyed teaching him how to knit when he was young. The weather was hot though, so he'd only be making blankets to sleep under at night. "I'm not sorry. You never led me on. I know you love someone else and I know it's not the same as how you love me. I knew that and I should have pushed you away, but I didn't do that either, did I?"

"I'm glad you didn't," Fili confessed. "Because...it was great." 

They were quiet for a few moments, the Fili asked, "Does Kili know we saw them...at the lagoon?"

The only answer was a minute nod and a blush spreading over Ori's cheeks. Ori busied himself with the sand, drawing circles deep into the grain. His hands shook and he wrinkled his nose. It was by far the most obvious way he could give an answer that he didn't really want to be giving.

Fili picked up on it. "That must have been an awkward conversation," he chuckled softly. "But, from what I know of Kili, something tells me he might have enjoyed being watched. He seems like the type. I myself am having a hard time looking Mr. Dwalin in the eye this morning, however. He lay a hand on my shoulder earlier and I nearly jumped out of my skin."

"Dwalin doesn't know," Ori spoke before thinking," I don't think, I—oh."

"What?" Fili cocked his head to one side. "I would hope not. That would be _really_ awkward."

"...Kili likes it though. And he knows about us." Ori looked away.

"H-he does?" Fili knitted his brow. "I guess we didn't hide well enough, then. Should we be concerned?"

"Not about Kili. Oh, Fee, I shouldn't have had that conversation with him. I don't know what it is about him, I just opened my mouth and it wouldn't stop talking. I said dreadful things."

"I get it, Ori, I do," Fili told him. "I don't know him well at all, but I look at him and I feel as if I could tell him anything. He's just so...open. Does that make sense?"

Ori poked the sand and pulled back his hand. "I think I told him things I wouldn't tell you. It's a little scary. I hardly know him."

"Well, regardless," Fili smiled, "you know I trust you, Ori. And I have a good feeling about Kili, too. I think we really _could_ be the Three Musketeers, you know?" he picked up the piece of rope he'd been working on. "We should definitely start spending more time all together once we get rescued."

"...He doesn't mind if we catch him and Dwalin again," Ori blurted out.

"I..." Then it sunk in. "Oh. He insinuated that, did he? Did he happen to say _when_ he'd like us to catch them?"

"Well, no, he hasn't made it a date or anything." Ori was quite snappy when he wanted to be. "He just said he wouldn't mind, like he'll tell us next time they plan to and all we need to do is show up."

"Wow," Fili blushed at the news. "That's...something to look forward to." He nervously rubbed at the back of his neck.

"Unless we don't go. We're not forced into anything."

"I don't want to disappoint our new friend," Fili smiled. "Do you?"

Ori looked down. "I don't think that's the main reason I'd go. Oh goodness, I should—I should go."

Fili smiled knowingly, as his blushing friend got to his feet. "I see what you're saying, Ori. Let's just take it one voyeuristic experience at a time, okay?"

He was still smiling to himself when Ori left to help Kili.


	7. I Wish You Didn't Care So Much About The Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The survivors learn they are not alone on the island. Kili and Fili have a falling out. Fili and Thorin face some hard truths. Bilbo, Ori and Fili meet some dangerous individuals... and only two of them return to the beach.

A week passed, then another. Like any society, the fourteen settled into a routine.

Bifur's wound stopped bleeding and Oin decided the best course of action was to leave the shrapnel be. Bifur was eating, sleeping and talking (rarely, and not always English)...so why tempt fate?

The search of the fuselage unearthed many treasures, among them most of the luggage. Ori, using his sewing kit, managed to fashion a net out of some hosiery he had found in one of the women's suitcases. They had fish for dinner nearly every night. Thanks to Bombur's culinary skills, it was quite delicious.

Still, all of them were losing weight. 

Fili and Thorin renewed their romantic relationship, although Thorin lived in fear of being spotted by the others during their trysts. The trysts were never quite long enough or fulfilling enough for Fili's liking, but he knew Thorin was trying. If only, he lamented, he could get his head out of it, and Thorin would give him something substantial that he could go with. He never knew if his heart was really in it.

It happened one night when none of them expected it. The group had gotten to know their side of the island fairly well. They knew what game to expect—and how to avoid it when it was too large—and they knew which routes, man-hewn, would take them where. While they remained at the beach, more and more of them dared venture into the jungle. The edge of their territory was the distance from which they could still make it home before dark.

Fili, Ori and Kili were walking that edge at the height of the day, scouting the area for berries or anything else edible, when Kili straightened up like a wild animal having caught the scent of a threat. His eyes bore into the dark of the uncharted jungle and when Fili started talking, he shushed him with a wild gesture.

"What is it?" Ori asked, and another sound came.

What frightened Kili was that it wasn't any of the sounds that ought to be coming from a jungle. This was as far as any of them had ever gotten from camp, yet those were distinctly the sounds of human feet stepping on twigs. And very plainly so, like they weren't aware of anyone else. It should have been a good thing, to find chances of human presence on the island. Except for some reason, it didn't feel like it was.

 _Back away,_ he gestured, his own feet starting, very quietly, to follow his own directions.

And back away they did. The trio retreated to hide behind a row of boulders to see what emerged from the jungle.

"It could be our rescue," Fili reasoned quietly. His unfettered blond hair bleached bright by the sun fell in displaced tendrils around his face. "We don't want to run away from them!" 

But the look in Kili's eyes silenced him, so he dropped it and they waited silently for whoever was making the ruckus in the brush.

The silhouettes of two tall men entered their sight before the details started to fill in; both were men with long hair, but not savagely so, as it fell sleekly down their thin frames. One of them had the whitest hair any of them had ever seen, and the way they moved had nothing to do with being indigenous to the island.

Kili nearly gasped when one threatened to look their way. There was something about them that didn't make sense, something unnatural. He did his best not to be seen as they stopped in front of the rock behind which they hid and looked around.

"I was sure I heard something."

"There's nobody here."

"...I can see that. Nor would they come this far. They've never done so before. But I was sure I heard something, and I'm sure it wasn't one of us."

"Come, we'll search the perimeter and report back."

"Hold on." The white-haired man walked closer to the rock.

Fili grabbed Ori's arm and pulled his friend to a crouching position, tight against the back wall of their hiding place. His hand reflexively slipped into Ori's, but his eyes locked with Kili's dark ones.

 _We should talk to them,_ he mouthed to the brunet.

 _No_ , Kili forbade it with a firm head shake. He didn't know why himself, although the knowledge that these men knew of their existence and had not once offered help was saying something.

The man on the other side of the rock looked around just out of their view. "Strange," he said, "I could have sworn..."

"Let's just go," the other insisted.

For a long, thundering second, nothing happened. Then they retreated, and Kili finally exhaled.

"My God," Ori finally spoke. "We aren't alone here."

"Who are those people? They're so tall...and pale," Fili marveled. "How can they live here and be so pale? It's like the sun hasn't touched them."

"I wonder if they have radios or telephones," Ori eyed the spot where they'd vanished covetously.

Kili seemed the only one who didn't like it. "I don't trust them," he whispered, wary of their return. "They know we're here. Doesn't it strike you two as odd that they haven't visited us yet? There's something about these people." He looked at Fili's hand, still entwined with Ori's. "You can let go now."

Fili chuckled nervously and looked down at their interlaced fingers as if the sight surprised him as well. "Heh, of course. I just...you're right, Kili. Why would they avoid us, especially if they know there are injured people among us?"

"Maybe they're aliens," Ori's eyes were large.

"Yeah, alien albino basketball players," Fili tousled his hair affectionately. "We have to tell the others," he said to Kili.

Kili agreed with him for once. "We should go anyway. If we don't soon, it’ll be dark before we get out of the bush." 

As he followed them; Kili frowned to himself. Hadn't Fili chosen Thorin in the end? He had spent so much time around him lately. What had them holding hands been about?

\- - - - - 

That evening, the survivors sat around the fire pit Bombur had constructed, picking fish off the bones and eating mangoes. When the three young ones returned, they had quickly shared the news with their fellow survivors.

"Why would they not initiate contact with us?" Fili wondered "If they've been watching us, they must know that Bifur, at the very least, could use some medical attention."

"If they're out there," said Bilbo, who was getting tired of coconut in the morning, coconut in the afternoon and coconut for dinner, "we should find them. I say we assemble a party to go into the woods. Good hunters, because they'll be staying in there during the night. It's our only chance. Nobody is coming to save us here on this beach. We must go to them."

Gloin broke in, "Hold on, weren't you the one telling us to wait?"

"Yeah, and now you want people into the jungle? That's too dangerous," Oin piped up.

Kili shook his head. "I say we stay as far away from them as we can. They'll be trouble, mark my words."

"They also might be our only chance off this rock," Dwalin groused. "You say you only saw two of them, lad?" he asked Ori.

"Well, yes," Ori admitted. "But that doesn't mean there aren't many more. They were _tall_. Very pale. It's hard to explain."

Across the fire, Thorin had an odd look on his face. "Long pale hair, you say?" he asked his nephew. "I seem to remember a fellow much like that at a business meeting some years ago. He had the strangest eyes as well. But I can't for the life of me remember where he was from."

"They gave me the creeps," Fili confessed. "Yet I felt we should have spoken with them." 

"And what do you think would have happened if you did?" Kili countered. He bore a look of angry determination. "You reckon they would have gone, 'oh hello, we've been meaning to pay you a visit' and that'd be that?"

"Kili," Thorin warned, sitting next to Fili.

"And what's your opinion? You say they remind you of business partners?"

"They weren't partners," Thorin admitted. "More like adversaries." He frowned. "I was new to the position of CEO. My father had passed away recently and I was, to be honest, very green. I'm sure Balin and Dori remember it well. I leaned on them hard for advice." 

"You were young," Balin affirmed, "it's true. But you tried very hard. I think now I remember the people of whom you speak. I thought at the time they might have been Scandinavian, or Icelandic. But they weren't, were they?"

"No," Thorin said softly. "Well, perhaps. I don't remember. Durinco had been negotiating to mine land that they owned. Diamonds, I think. We had planned to make it very lucrative for them, but they didn't want to take the bite. I was bereaved and honestly, I just wanted to get out of the board room and walk away from a deal my father had started. We ended up paying them very handsomely, I think. They moved on. We'd all benefited, I think."

"It seemed so, at the time," Dori told them all. "But they weren't happy with the settlement, we found out after the fact. Still, a legal contract was signed. They moved on. So did we. They had no recourse. They had their payment and promised new land; we had our diamonds. An island, I believe it was."

"The chances of this being that island are astronomical," Thorin assured them all. In the dark, he lay his hand in the small of Fili's back. "I'm still glad you didn't engage them. Not without me there," he told them. "Still, I'm curious to see these people, after all this time. I wondered what became of them." He fluffed up the suit jacket he'd been using as a pillow. "Perhaps in the morning we can form that group to go scout the other side of the island. It would be an overnight venture. Give some thought as to whether or not any of you would like to join me." 

Thorin lay down, blue eyes locked with Fili's. "Join us, I mean. You are coming, aren't you?" he asked the blond, who nodded his assent. "You and Kili, for certain?"

Oin, also under cover of darkness, slipped one of the unopened mini-bottles of vodka to Bilbo. "Today would have been your wedding day, eh mate?" he asked him. "Some of the others told me. I'm sorry you're not there with her. I hope this helps take away some of the sting."

"It's a _he,_ " Bilbo sighed at last, tired with having to swallow the honest mistake everyone was intent on making. "And yes, today would have been. It doesn't take away any of the sting, I'm afraid. He probably believes me dead. But I really appreciate the gesture. Thanks, Oin."

Kili, who sat next to them, could not help but overhear. He kept his mouth shut to honor all that Bilbo had done for them already, but he couldn't suppress a sadness both for the short steward and for himself. Not that anyone would ever know it, but all these people around him who had someone, even those who screwed up and were going to hurt someone else like Fili was bent on doing because he couldn't make up his mind, they made Kili feel lonely.

That was why he offered to join the exploration party at once; distraction had always been his strongest suit. "You're going to need me," he offered his support. "Thorin, you might want to step down. I'm sorry, but you haven't been out there and if things do go wrong or we get lost, well..." Thorin might not know what to do. But admitting that out loud was only going to make him want to come along more, so Kili said none of that. "I was considering Bilbo and Ori. They both have considerable experience out there."

"Nephew, I appreciate your concern," Thorin smiled at him warmly, "but you cannot keep me from this. I can do little to allay my guilt over bringing you all here—and many to their deaths. If there is a mission of democracy to be made, I certainly have to take part. I'm fit enough for the journey, am I not?"

Behind Thorin's back, Fili looked at Kili as if he'd gone mad. _What are you doing?_ the look asked. 

"I'm not saying you're not fit enough." Kili shrugged, and ignored Fili like he was making a statement. He didn't think he had done anything to earn himself that look. "All I'm saying is, what is going to happen if we get separated? Bilbo and Ori know the lay of the land, as does Fili. We know how to get back here."

"I'm going," Thorin's eyes held a hint of merriment. "End of discussion." He couldn't for the life of him figure out where Kili's worry was coming from.

Fili rose to go water a tree, signaling for Kili to follow him, which he did a few moments later.

"Kili," the blond asked, zipping up, "what gives?"

 _"What gives?"_ Kili returned. "Are you saying you're comfortable with Thorin out there?"

"Of course I am," Fili answered him honestly. "He can hold his own, certainly. I mean, granted, it's been a long, long time since he's been on a nature hike, but...honestly, Kili. When you act like this, it's not hard to see why you two are always at odds with each other."

"Excuse me? You're telling me you forgot about common sense? What if he gets lost? He's been in that jungle like what, two, three times? And always only in places he knows. I'm all good with him wanting to make himself useful, but this is just madness."

"We'll stay together, Kili," the brunet had never seen Fili looking so aggravated. "We're not going there to pick a fight. Besides, on the off chance that Thorin has a past with these people, he'd be the ideal person to have along to begin relations. You know," Fili leaned back against a tree, arms crossed, "you've been _different_ towards me the past week or so. Like you're angry with me. You don't like the idea of me and Thorin at all, do you?"

Kili's jaw practically dropped. "Jesus fucking Christ," he hissed, "is that what you think this is about? I've been telling you from the start, I don't trust these people. We're supposed to scout, not go on an all-out diplomatic offense." He could tell that people were straining to listen in on them, but he knew enough to know that they couldn't, not from that distance. "But while we're on the topic, can you just make up your mind and stick with it? When you're not with Thorin, you're leading Ori on, and I can't exactly say that your fumbles with Ori have been very faithful to Thorin either."

"Oh," Fili's eyes grew wide and incredulous. "This is rich. You, giving me relationship advice." His voice dropped to an angry whisper when he realized he was getting too loud. "You're fucking the CFO, who's twice your age! And it's a secret from 'Uncle Thorin,' his best friend! And I am _not_ leading Ori on. We're just having fun. He knows that. Why don't you? And I can't cheat on someone who's ashamed of our relationship," he said scornfully. Fili sighed and looked away. "Why are you being so judgmental?"

"Fucking and having two people want you because they love you is _nothing_ alike." Kili was well on his way to having his night thoroughly ruined—as if the strangers in the jungle weren't enough. "So leave me out of it, all right? You've got two people who want you, and you're hurting them both. That's not being judgmental, that's me calling you a little shit who doesn't know how to appreciate what he has. You know what? I've had it with you. You go on your diplomatic mission. I'll be here, amusing myself."

That being said, he stalked off into the jungle.

Fili hated fighting. And he had liked Kili so much at the start. But he couldn't argue with what Kili had said. He _was_ being selfish. He was supplementing Thorin's hot-and-cold treatment with affection from Ori. It wasn't fair. And none of them were happy. 

He had to do something. His first instinct was to follow Kili off into the jungle and apologize, but instead he returned to camp. 

"Thorin?" he asked his boss-slash-lover, who was just settling down to sleep. "Can we talk?"

Thorin looked up. He didn't sit up, simply paused in his motions. "Now?" But when he saw the resolution wavering, he sighed and got up. "You'd better not be forwarding Kili's messages for him. Where is that kid anyway?"

"Oh, you know him," Fili said lightly, "off for a midnight swim or something like that. Hard to get him to sit still for long. Will you come down to the water's edge with me?" he extended a hand to help Thorin to his feet.

The pair walked in silence for awhile, then Fili began talking. "Thorin, I have always been honest with you, and I don't want to stop now. I need to tell you something, and you probably aren't going to like it. You told me that you needed time away from me to think. I guess, maybe, I needed to do that too. I get the feeling that you love me when we're alone together. But when we're in public, it seems like you're ashamed of me, of what we have. It," he paused, "well, it's hard for me. Those two faces, you have. I _love_ you, Thorin. The crash and being here has made that more clear to me. I want to be with you. But I don't want to be a dirty little secret which everyone knows about anyway."

He picked up a pebble and tossed it out into the sea. "Ori and I are close. Have been...intimate. Recently. He loves me. And I do care for him, but the truth is, I have been turning to him for the intimacy and contact that I crave from _you._ Do you love me, Thorin? Or am I what everyone in the company seems to think? A diversion...a 'boy toy' to amuse you until you get tired of me? I need to know," he took Thorin's hand and squeezed it beseechingly. "Will you be honest with me?"

Thorin looked at their hands holding, and the last sentences rushed through his mind again. He had always expected Fili would one day want more. That was what made it so hard to be with him. But the mention of Ori, and how they'd been _intimate_ , that really hurt Thorin to the core. Perhaps that was why he was retreating back into his shell right now. A good spokesman always organized his thoughts before speaking, but he couldn't think clearly now.

"...I love you," Thorin said quietly. "If you didn't guess as much, you must have not been looking very well, because there's not a man out there I would tell all the things I've told you if we were just sleeping together. But I am also your boss. That means that what we have, it's illegal. I could face repercussions for what we've done, and you would be forced to find a new job if word ever got out. My reputation, as well as yours, is on the line here."

He looked away. "But apparently we don't love in the same measure, do we? I have never gone to another. I've never been unfaithful." Because that hurt. He was still a being made of flesh and blood, and hide his feelings as he might, he had always been honest. "You _slept_ with someone."

Kili had tried to warn him.

"Thorin," Fili's face crumbled. "Why didn't you tell me? Why did you continue to push me away...to allow me to continue to be the brunt of all their jokes and derision? To so many of these people I've been nothing more than a rent boy, a highly-paid prostitute! I haven't had sex with Ori," he hastily tried to explain. "He's been my friend, a comfort, when you act as if you're ashamed of me. But there's been no—penetration. If it's about the job, my position...then consider this me tendering my resignation. I would rather have you than this job. The money, the position...it doesn't matter if I don't have you. It's _you_ I want, Thorin," he pleaded. " _You I love!_ " 

Thorin turned to him. What Fili saw was more than just betrayal; it was every emotion Thorin had ever held back. "I'm not ashamed of you. Never. Who ever gave you that idea? I had no choice. If I didn't keep you hidden, everything would have crumbled, _everything_. They would have forced me away from you. You can't begin to imagine how wrong what you say truly is."

He looked over his shoulder at the company. Fili had done things with Ori. That there had been no actual sex didn't change matters. The slightest kiss already hurt. "Do you mean that?" he asked. "About quitting your job? Would you be willing to do that? To end things with him permanently and cease to be my assistant?"

"I'd do anything to keep you, if you truly love me," Fili told him. "Anything, Thorin. I have always felt it—your love. But you played your cards so close to your vest. I shouldn't have doubted my feelings. Or you. I love working for you, seeing you every day, being responsible for what happens at Durinco," Fili admitted. "But having your love is more important. Far more important."

Thorin took hold of both his shoulders. "Please don't say these things just for keeping me. If you say yes, I'll ask you to tell Ori that you and him are no longer happening. When you do, I'll tell the others of your resignation, and about us. Know very well what you're agreeing to, Fili. I'm willing to look past what you did with him, but that means we're going to have to start making the right decisions. That also means that when I don't have time for you, you won't go running back to him. I love you, but I've got responsibilities I need to attend to, too.

"I can't imagine anyone being better at helping you at Durinco than I am," Fili said softly. "Who's going to make sure your tie is straight and your hair isn't unruly before an important meeting?" he fondly moved an errant strand of dark hair away from Thorin's face.

Fili hated that it had to be one or the other—that he had to sacrifice his beloved, high-profile job in order to truly be with Thorin. Didn't plenty of people meet and fall in love at work? Wouldn't it be better to keep that interest within the company?

A familiar, unpleasant feeling crept over him. Shame. He felt like a child being reprimanded by his father. All his young life, his father kept telling him to make the right choices, and insisted, in the end, that he knew what was best. Yet, it was Fili who'd gotten the stellar grades and gotten into Harvard on a full scholarship.

"It's a terrible decision to be forced to make, Thorin," Fili told him, " a painful one. I couldn't bear working closely with you each day and not being able to love you. And yet, in the past five years, I feel as if I have established myself, and my worth, to the company," he took a deep, steadying breath and looked out over the ocean. "I always had this fantasy of helping you build Durinco," he said sadly, "being your sounding board. A trusted colleague."

"And you have been. You are. You're one of the best people I've worked with. But there are rules, Fili. If there weren't, don't you think I would have made our relationship public by now? I'm with my back against the wall. I'll give you time to consider it, of course, but please don't go back to Ori. Not like that."

What a horrible choice! Fili felt as if a thick band were tightening around his rib cage, keeping him from drawing a full breath. In order to truly win Thorin's love, he had to relinquish his job. Then he wouldn't see Thorin nearly as often, nor have any influence with all the contacts he'd established over the years.

Fili tried to imagine a life waiting at home in their quiet shared apartment for Thorin to come home from work. Desperate for crumbs of affection and news from Durinco, while he struggled to work his way up from the bottom at the new job he'd had to take.  


At the salary he made now, he could afford a nice townhouse with wide halls and doorways that easily accommodated his mother's wheelchair. Would he still be able to keep their home? Surely, his mother thought he was dead by now. He couldn't bear not being there for her, in all ways.

He would also no longer work with Ori, his best friend. As much as it pained him to think on it, Ori brightened his days.

"I _do_ need to think, Thorin," Fili reached for him in the dark. "But don't confuse my hesitation with not loving you. This decision goes far beyond just you and me."

In the silence that followed, the rushing of the sea and the crackling of the fire stood out starkly in the backdrop. Thorin finally inclined his head. "Of course," he said. "Please know that if you choose to resign at Durinco, I will do my very best to get you a similar job at a different company. I won't leave you hanging here. You'd be leaving your job but it'd be both of our concerns." He didn't like the doubt he saw in Fili's eyes, while seconds ago they had been so hopeful. Thorin didn't like losing.

"This feels like punishment," Fili said, so softly it was barely audible over the sound of the surf. "I'm selfish. I want it all. My career, working with you, sleeping with you..." he smiled at the pleasant memories and the blissful fantasies he'd concocted.

"I wish—" he started, putting his hand on Thorin's arm. Thorin could feel the urgency in his gesture. "I wish you didn't care so much about the rules. You could learn a lot from Kili in that regard." He drew close to the taller man, slotting his body alongside Thorin's in the dark.

"You're not a dirty little secret." But Thorin could not tell Fili any examples, and he realized then that Fili was right. Thorin had treated him awfully. He was torn between his job and his desire for this man—they could not exist simultaneously, not in this form. "Please believe me, I couldn't be more proud of anyone else. I wish I could tell everyone, but I can't. Not because of everyone here, even, because I know most of the people still here don't mind. It's—I could get sued for using my status wrongfully. I'm your boss." 

He didn't care at this point. It looked too much like he was about to lose Fili. Thorin pulled him close and held him tight.

Fili would have stayed like that for hours, if allowed, but he knew that the others could see them, if they cared to look hard enough. He didn't want to cause further trouble for Thorin. 

"I have a lot to think about," he said, pulling away after kissing Thorin on the cheek. "I think I need to take a couple of days to figure out how either decision is going to impact me life, and my mother's. I love you, Thorin," he told him, before walking back towards camp.

Fili didn't settle down with Ori, and he certainly avoided Kili. Instead, he lay his bedroll out near the edge of their camp, where he could continue to watch the waves caress the shore until he fell asleep.

When morning came, Ori found him anyway.

"Fee," he whispered. The sun was hardly up, the last rays of dawn still fleeting into the West to be a dawn to others further away. "Are you awake? Kili's still not back. I'm worried."

"Hey," Fili stretched, feeling the still unwelcome pull of his healing wound. "He and I had a bit of a row last night. He didn't come back?" the blond seemed instantly concerned. "Do you think he's all right?" Fili was instantly awake and full of guilt because of the way he'd spoken to Kili the night before.

"Probably," Ori reasoned, "but I don't trust it. We met those people in the jungle yesterday and he was so outspoken against looking for them, but he's in the jungle now and he hasn't shown himself. I tried some of his usual spots. And Dwalin," he flushed, "is here. Do you think I should wake some of the others?"

Fili bit his lip and turned to where Thorin lay, blissfully asleep. 

"Um, Kili was right. We shouldn't drag Mr. Oakenshield out there. He hasn't explored as much as we have. Let's see if Bilbo will help us look. I think he'd like an opportunity to be useful again," he smiled. "Don't you?"

"Right," Ori nodded. He trod over to Bilbo and gently pried him awake, all the while not waking any of the others. 

Only Balin, who sat on a log and had been peering at the horizon, turned his head and smiled when he saw them up, moving about so quietly so as not to wake anyone else. "Go," he nodded, "I'll tell them where you've gone when they wake."

Ori didn't like the look of the jungle as it accepted them into its dark midst once again. And Bilbo was grumpy as he always was, so soon in the morning. "Tell me again why we can't wait another half an hour?" he questioned sharply—yet part of him was proud for being asked to come along. He wasn't useless, no matter what some of the others seemed to think. This was his chance to prove it.

"We could," Ori spoke before Fili could, "except that would shorten the distance we can cover today by fifteen minutes. There's a lot of ground we can cover in just fifteen minutes."

"Has he really been out here all night?" Fili lamented, putting together a small backpack full of belongings—water, some dried fish and his small collection of epi-pens—knowing full well Kili's absence was his fault. "God, what if he's hurt?" He joined the others quickly. "Let's go. Where do you think he'd go, Ori?"

"Kili can look after himself," Bilbo muttered in his stead. "Hasn't he been in and out of this bush constantly since the day we got here?"

Ori bit his lip. Bilbo was right, but, "I think he's gone to the borders. He was so strongly against seeking them out yesterday. I think he's probably moped for a good half an hour and then decided to find out more and stave his suspicions. That sounds like something he would do. Our best luck is there."

"Last evening, he was totally against the idea of contacting them," Fili frowned. "Why would he go there now? Ugh, I'm going to throttle him. He's like a small child sometimes!" he swatted away an annoying mosquito as he huffed along after Ori, following his lead.

"I didn't say he'd be contacting them," Ori pointed out.

"Well," Bilbo, who was finally waking up, reasoned, "we were headed that direction anyway. At least he's not costing us any extra time. If you ask me, the sooner we find help, the better. You said they looked funny?"

"Tall and very pale," Fili told him. "Honestly, you won't believe it until you’ve actually seen them. I think Ori might be onto something with his alien theory," he smiled, even though he found them terribly creepy. 

The silence was all-consuming, as if a vacuum had literally sucked all noise away. There was no rustling of leaves above them, no chirruping insects. Even their footfalls seemed muffled.

"It feels like my ears are stuffed with cotton," Fili whispered, not even recognizing his own voice. He felt a sudden irrational terror that he hadn't experienced since the day the plane went down. "Let's find Kili and get back to the beach," he suggested.

"Let's just get back," Bilbo tittered. "I've seen no trace of him, and this freaks me right out. We could be going in the wrong direction, for all we know. I'd say—"

It happened fast after that. The silence became deafening, and then they came. Footsteps, running faster and closer; it was terrifying. They came from all sides and all at the same time. There was no telling who or what, or where the three needed to flee in order to get out.

When the first finally showed himself, he hunched on a towering rock and hurtled himself down, his long legs carrying his weight when he landed with a predatory grace.

They were all cloaked in sandy linen, hardly camouflaged. But they owned the forest; they need not hide from that which they did not fear.

"Run," one whispered with a laugh.

Ori didn't require a second invitation. He sprinted back in the direction they'd come. Fili, on the other hand, took only one step backwards. He took a deep breath and spoke to them.

"We aren't here as a threat. Our plane crashed on the other side of the island a couple of weeks ago," he tried to keep his voice from shaking. "We haven't been able to contact help. We have men, injured, back at the beach. Can you help us?" 

"Your men," one of them raised himself to his full height, "are doing fine, those who live." Although his stature was still human, none of the three that looked down on him were short or anything less than slender. They looked rather surprised that he wasn't running. "They need not our attention, and we will offer them no help. I told you to run, did I not?"

Ori crouched, breathless, behind one of the larger rocks in the area. He knew that if he ran, he was only going to draw their attention by the sound he made. They knew about them. They knew, and they didn’t care. He hoped to whatever was out there they did not find him, and cursed Fili when he negotiated instead of ran, himself.

From a narrow crevice he sat frozen at what happened next. One of them left his comrades. He silently slithered back into the clearing behind Fili, who continued to plead their case, unaware of the approaching danger.

 _Run_ , Ori thought. _Look behind you._

The man's hand pressed smoothly over Fili's mouth and another wrapped round his waist. He waited with the grace of a bystander rather than an aggressor with a struggling man in his arms, for Fili to be subdued. Fili kicked and flailed as much as he could, but when he finally sank down and his body went limp, Ori stifled a cry.

He would be next. Oh god, they would come for him next, and then Bilbo, and then the others. He had to warn everyone. He had to—

Yet, their attackers retreated back into the shadows of the uncharted island and left, like Ori and the others did not matter, Fili lifelessly draped over the shoulder of one of them.


	8. Caged

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili and Fili are prisoners of the people inhabiting the other side of the island.

Bilbo watched in horror from his hiding place as the trio of island inhabitants surrounded Fili and one of them literally throttled him into unconsciousness with his bare hands. _It's only a matter of moments before they come for me!_ he thought, poised for flight.

He was even more concerned when the trio turned away with their prisoner, as if Bilbo and Ori hadn't been there at all.

_Well then,_ he surmised, _now we know what happened to poor Kili._

When he found Ori, the lad was a nervous mess. And, to be fair, Bilbo was faring little better.

"Come," he helped the bereaved man to his feet, "we have to get back to the company."

Ori nodded meekly. They were half a day's hike into the jungle, so far from the others. How he hated the distance now. "We shouldn't have gone," he whispered. "They have Fili and I can't—I can't—" He couldn't do anything. Tears sprang suddenly in his eyes and whether it was from the stress or the thought of Fili gone from him, he did not know, as they both warred in him for dominance. He got a slippery hold on Bilbo's hand and scrambled up. "As fast as we can. Oh god."

They both continued to look over their shoulders as they hastened out of the unknown silence, but only when they got back to the mangrove and sound had been restored to the world did Ori stumble and allow himself to crash. He was worn from the flight, hours of stress bearing down on him. It was in fact Bilbo who kept his head cool, though Ori could see that it was affecting him too. "Just a little longer," he coaxed, "then we can rest. They won't hurt him. It seemed like they wanted him specifically, not just anyone they could have gotten their hands on, or we would have been there with him already. Something tells me—"

"Oh, stop talking!" Ori nearly cried. "Don't you see? He's gone from us. We can't get him back because they're like ghosts and something tells me that if we were to look for them, we would either lose and die or never find them at all."

Bilbo quieted at that and looked to the floor. "Sorry. Come, only half an hour now then we'll be safe. Hang in there, please."

He was right, of course. Ori pushed himself up and continued to walk.

As soon as they reached the sands, he let himself fall.

It was nearly sundown when they returned. 

Thorin shot to his feet when he saw the pair come through the break in the tree line. His expectant eyes asked questions, the foremost of which he addressed to Bilbo as soon as he reached the rest of the company.

"Where are they? Did you find my nephew? Where's Fili?"

Dwalin had gone over to Ori's side to help the waning lad back to camp. Ori, Thorin saw, was crying. Suddenly he dreaded Bilbo's answer.

"He's gone. We saw them take him away." Bilbo looked out over the vista of the sea in turmoil. A storm was approaching, right at a time where they needed it least. "These strangers are not going to help us, I'm afraid. They are extremely hostile. We didn't find Kili. All we can do is hope that he's not with them."

Ori looked up. "He didn't return?"

"What do you mean, _they took him?_ " Thorin went to Bilbo's side. While he helpfully handed a full bottle of water to the steward, his eyes were full of fear.

"No one's seen Kili since last night," Dwalin told Ori. He helped the distraught redhead to a sitting position on one of the logs near the fire.

"My god," Balin breathed. He was confounded by the fact that they weren't alone on the island—and that the natives weren't willing to help rescue them but instead meant them harm. "What could they possibly gain from abducting two of our own?"

"Leverage," Bifur spoke, his first coherent word in days. 

"Leverage? What could they want from Fili?" Ori didn't understand. There was nothing they could possibly need Fili for. "And would you please stop talking like you assume they've got both, everyone of you? It's bad enough they have Fili, I don't want to consider them having caught a hold of Kili as well."

"I think they've been watching us," Bilbo said, more to himself. Nonetheless, everyone around him looked at him at once. Uncomfortable with the attention, he fidgeted. "I mean, they didn't look like it was news to them when we told them we were on the beach and had wounded men among us. If you ask me, they already knew."

"They know we're on the beach?" Balin stammered. He glanced at those yet unaware of recent developments. Bombur was working on gutting a fish, and Gloin tried to make a spear from a branch. "Not every one of us is fit to go into the jungle, Thorin. We can't…"

The look Thorin threw him was withering, but as he looked into the darkening lost world that was the jungle, he knew it too.

Fili was, for now, lost to them.

"Maybe it's not Fili they want something from," Dwalin speculated, laying a concerned hand on Thorin's arm. "Maybe it's you, Thorin."

\- - - - - 

When Fili awoke, it was with a twitch of fingers and a fluttering of eyelids. He had grown accustomed to waking up on unforgiving ground, so it came as no surprise that his joints and back ached. Then he remembered how he'd gotten there—that horrible feeling of helplessness and suffocation. His captors were strong, cold, ruthless.

He slowly sat up and took in his surroundings.

The basin looked deep and threatening. It was also, along with a rusty oil lamp and a sealed iron door, the only thing in the room. Fili's joints ached from the hard metal floor when he got up to look around. An orange powder stuck to his hands when he looked at his palms.

Silence greeted him. There was no one there. Nevertheless, he heard the door creak and open on its own accord when he moved. There was no other way; either he stayed inside or he chose to see what was outside.

Bright light blinded Fili's sight when the door swung open. Mid-day. He must have been asleep for some time. The familiar sight of the jungle greeted him—and bars in front of that view.

They had locked him in a cage—one, by the looks of it, fit for a lion. And opposite it stood another, recently having been occupied but currently empty.

There wasn't a soul in sight, friendly or otherwise. Fili felt lucky to be alive. He had no doubt his captors could have killed him with their bare hands, had they truly wanted to.

What did they want with him? Had they captured Ori and Bilbo as well? Fili had initially wanted to run but, when those strange men approached, he had tried to imagine what Thorin would do in his situation. Thorin would have spoken with them—tried to implore, on their humanity, for some help. Weren't all people, after all, basically good?

Apparently he was wrong.

He wiped his rust-covered hands on his denim shorts and tentatively called out, "Is anyone there?"

The absence of sound greeted him. All remained still, until,

"Fili?!"

The door to the other cage opened. Opposite him, Kili stared at him. He clutched his arm to hide something. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, God!" Fili rushed to the bars separating them. "We came looking for you when you didn't come back last night. I—" he looked at his shoes, "—I tried to talk to them. You told me it was a bad idea and I did it anyway. I got caught. They brought me here." His eyes fell to Kili's arm. "What happened to you? Are you all right?"

Kili shrugged apologetically. "They got me. I was reckless, didn't hide my tracks. Now look at me, here I am. Where did they find you?" He walked unsteadily up to the bars and leaned his weight against it, as if he couldn't properly keep himself up. He couldn't; his legs were shaking and his lip was split. He looked like he hadn't been fed for days.

"You're hurt." It was more of an observation than a question. "I came with Ori and Bilbo to find you. They got away, I guess. I hope so, at least."

The anxiety bubbling in Fili's chest lessened knowing that somehow Ori had escaped capture. 

"There was this spot in the jungle—like a sound vacuum. We ran into them there. Or, I should say, they decided to make their presence known to us then. They had probably been following us for some time. Have they spoken to you?"

In the rising humidity, sand stuck to Kili's skin when he sat down. "Nothing. They put me in here and just...left. Someone got me a bowl of rice yesterday, and there's water, but they caught me while I was asleep and put a bag over my head." He nudged towards a small heap of black fabric. "Did they tell you anything? I don't think they want information from us. Nobody has so far talked to me." Kili clutched his arm more tightly. They could have given him some painkillers. They certainly seemed to have the resources. Kili frowned then. "You mean, they let Ori and Bilbo go?"

"I'm not sure," Fili lay his head against the bars. "They knocked me out. Nearly suffocated me, truth be told," he frowned. "I think the others got away. I _hope_ so. Your arm," Fili's blue eyes searched his face. "What's wrong?"

Kili hid the injured side away at once. "Nothing. I fell when they caught me, and I was, well," he flushed, "I was sleeping in a tree. Please, no baboon jokes. Trust me, they let them go. Either they had enough after you or they wanted them to deliver a message. These guys, whoever they are, they're powerful. They've got eyes everywhere, because they knew exactly where to find me. I hid myself, you know. Well, we're not exactly safe, but I think they're still deciding on what to do with us, which should give us a couple of days at most." He lay back on the soil. "You might want to go inside in half an hour. The sun gets really hot up here."

Fili's eyes tracked Kili's movements. He was hurt, possibly badly. He wished they had been placed in the same cage so he could at least check out the extent of the injury.

"I'm sorry, Kili," he said. "You left camp because of me. I drove you here, and now you're hurt as well," he sighed. "I'm so sorry. I told Thorin, last night, about Ori. I told him I chose _him,_ chose _Thorin._ I just wanted you to know that."

He moved to a spot in the shade and sat down. The heat was simply oppressive.

For the first time that day, Kili smiled. It was good to think of something else than possible ways out of his cage, to which he had yet to find a possibility. He looked at Fili. "You made a choice. That's good. He didn't," he scowled, "give you a bad time about it, did he? He can be a bit anal about things he should be grateful for. Don't take it personally, he's not so good at expressing his thoughts." He kicked a small tray that looked like it was intended for an oversized pet—yes, these were definitely lion's cages. "Just so you know, they're going to feed you from this. I bet it's some game of degrading the prisoner. But it's not bad food."

"He was more than fair," Fili admitted, looking at, but not touching the metal dish in his own cage. "I won't be able to keep working at Durinco if I choose remain in a relationship with him. Not that any of that matters right now," he lamented. "We should be concerned about survival, I suppose. Suddenly being stuck over on that beach with those old men seems like a vacation compared to this." He took a hard look at his surroundings. "Are there big animals here? On this island? Why do they even have these cages?"

"No idea." Kili shrugged. "They're not men's cages though, so I guess there are. I'm just glad we haven't run into any yet. Don't bother trying to find a way out. I've checked everything. But hey, at least no big animals can get in." He nudged his foot against one of the bars and looked up. "That's the only way out, and it's sealed shut. Can't dig your way out, either. All we can do is wait and see what they want, I suppose." Kili tilted his head. With nothing else to do, he could do with a good distraction. "That means you'll quit? If, you know, we ever get back home."

"It never occurred to me that I couldn't have both, you know? Thorin _and_ my job," Fili said sadly. "It's painful to think of giving up either one. To me, they go hand in hand. Kili, I don't know what to do."

He couldn't stay sitting, so he wound up getting up and pacing, looking for all the world like a caged lion. "I know you think it's ludicrous that I would love him at all, and that secretly you're laughing at me. You're not the first."

But there came no laugh, no admittance. "You think you know me Fili," Kili turned his eyes to a pebble and picked it up. He flung it idly into Fili's cage. "You don't. I'm sure that whatever you two have between you, it's special. It has to be, or you wouldn't have so much trouble making the right choice. And trust me, I know how Thorin makes you want him to like you, I know how he inspires that in people. He may not be the easiest choice, but he's your choice, isn't he? I wouldn't laugh at that. Ori doesn't laugh at that."

"Wow," Fili muttered, picking up the pebble Kili had tossed, "it seems to be your purpose in life to make me feel bad about myself."

He sat down again, out of Kili's line of sight, and was silent for a few moments. Finally, he spoke. "I know what I was doing was wrong. Stringing poor Ori along; betraying Thorin. I was scared. I was protecting my heart. I'm _still_ scared. Right now more than before."

Kili looked up. He found himself talking to a wall. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad about yourself, actually." Look at them. They were caught and this was what Fili wanted to spend his time doing, feeling sorry for himself. "Yes, you stepped on Ori's heart and you weren't exactly faithful to Thorin. I can't deny that, but all I wanted was for you to make a choice. Nothing ever gets better without it being shit before." He smiled quietly. "It'll get better. You'll thank me one day. Maybe not today, but I can live with that."

"I wish I had your outlook, your disposition," Fili replied. "You just let things take their course. You have fun, you live well. And you don't seem to give a shit how others perceive you. I'm jealous of that," he admitted.

Things were quiet for so long that Kili thought Fili might have gone to sleep. But when Fili did speak, Kili realized he was crying. "I don't want to die," Fili confessed, with a sniffle. "I'm not done doing all I want to do yet."

The voice was so unlike his usual self that it quieted Kili further. He didn't like to hear Fili cry. It didn't suit him. "I'm not all you make me up to be either," he whispered. For all his loving life, life had surely returned its love, but people had been less inclined to. Kili was the wild one, the one everybody liked to have fun with but never the one to take seriously. So said his friends, and so said most of those people that he wanted to be a bigger part of his life. "So what would you want to do? If you could do anything you wanted, right now, what would it be?"

Fili realized he must be scaring Kili. Kili was younger, and, although he hadn't made a big deal of it, was clearly suffering some survivor's guilt for all his fellow trainees perishing. Fili had to be strong for him.

"Well," he began, "for starters, I'd like to convince your uncle that I can be his lover and still do my job—better than anyone else possibly could _because_ I love him, and the company. I'd like to travel some more. But definitely nowhere tropical," he chuckled. "I've quite had my fill of the tropics. And then, maybe, someday, I'd like to be a father."

Kili did furrow his nose at the mention of his uncle and a lover. He liked boyfriend better, and partner even more. But he had to be fair, he did coax Fili to talk more and if this was what he was getting, he had brought that onto himself. "A father," he latched onto the most surprising part—probably because Kili instantly pictured Thorin holding a baby. "That doesn't sound too bad. Neither like you've been throwing away your time. I don't know, I'd probably make the worst dad ever, if I ever got there. I hope you'll make it."

However Kili didn't see the first part happening soon, so he skirted around the subject of Thorin and allowing Fili to both work for him and be with him. Thorin wasn't likely to go there, or at least, not the Thorin Kili knew.

"I used to have so many dreams," he spoke wistfully. "Then real life catches up with you and suddenly you need to pay the rent, and food, and all those craftily unclear insurances. I wanted to have a farm in the south when I grew up. It would have been so remote that I would have had a legitimate reason to get a helicopter."

"Kili, you would be the most fun dad _ever_ ," Fili proclaimed. "I could just see you teaching your son how to climb a tree, make rope, build a fire. Life with you would be a grand adventure, wouldn't it?" he smiled fondly at the notion of a small raven-haired moppet with Kili's dark, inquisitive eyes. In his mind's eye, the child was holding a banana. Fili chuckled.

"Your dream seems much more attainable than mine," he noted. Then, he added quietly, "I'm sorry that you and Thorin don't get on that well. Neither of you really quite knows what he's missing out on."

"I'd teach my kids serious stuff too, you know." Although Kili could picture it too, and it made him smile. Kids were probably never going to happen for him. Kili was fine with that, most of the time, but occasionally it made him feel sad. Today was one of those times. "Your kids would probably be all about the serious stuff, and a bit of play on the side. You probably want to send them to piano lessons and those kinds of things, am I right?"

For a while, Kili forgot he was in a cage. He closed his eyes, breathed out and mused. "Thorin and I, we'll be fine. I believe I've just gone three days without feeling the need to smack him. Who knows, this might just be good for us. How about your family? Tell me about them?"

"Piano lessons?" Fili wrinkled his forehead. "Wow, you must think I'm really boring." He sat back. "I'd like them to learn what they wanted to learn. I'd ask them first. In an ideal world I'd know them so well I wouldn't even have to ask. My father always insisted he knew what was best for me. Tried to make me be a certain way. We were always at odds. I don't think I turned out the way he had hoped. Not in the relationship department at the very least. And I'm sure that's merely the tip of the iceberg. You know," he speculated, "maybe that's why I feel I need approval from Thorin. Because my own dad didn't ever approve of me. No matter how well I did."

"If you're about to compare Thorin to your old man," and Kili said that with an obvious lightness in his voice, in order not to piss someone off, "I think you might come across some new issues in your relationship with him. Come on, move. I'm talking to a wall here. And you can't deny you'd be proud if one of your kids took an interest in music."

Kili played the piano well. After all those years, he could still become fully at ease at any melody stemming from his fingers.

Was he going to mention that? Not likely.

"I don't care what my kids take an interest in," Fili got to his feet and walked back to the bars, where he could see Kili. "Point is, I'd nurture it. I'd never try to dampen their spirit, or step on their dreams. That's all I meant." He was quiet for a moment, then admitted, "I did have piano lessons as a child, but it never really took. I secretly wanted to learn martial arts. _That_ might have actually come in handy today."

Kili's eyes twinkled. "Me too. Hey, for all I know I end up with a brainiac, and that'll be fine by me. You should ask Dwalin, if we ever get out of here. He knows a lot of moves."

Fili blushed. "I don't doubt that he does," he chuckled. "It's definitely part of Dwalin's charm. I can understand the attraction," he confided, "speaking strictly as someone who appreciates older men." He knew Kili knew they had seen him. "I'm sorry about that too, you know. Spying on you two. But you put on such a good show that it was damn near impossible to look away."

Kili watched him with calculating eyes. When he glanced away, he unintentionally chewed his lip. "I'm not involved with Dwalin, you know, nor do I like him because he's an older man. He's good though, I'll have to admit that. And you weren't supposed to see. Ori told me you did." Kili was a lot more uncomfortable about Fili having brought it up than he was when he found out about Ori. "He also said what you did after that. It's a little awkward, I guess, being treated as someone's wank fodder. Flattering, but awkward."

"I'm not one of those men who likes to watch pornography," Fili confessed, in a way in which he hoped might make Kili feel better, "but I—oh shit, this isn't coming out in any manner that could ever possibly sound tactful or helpful. I'm sorry." He chuckled. "To be honest, we wouldn't have seen if you two weren't so damn _loud._ "

"I was holding back," Kili raised a brow.

Fili's mouth suddenly went very dry and he chuckled nervously. "Ugh, is there nothing to drink here?"

"Dirty water in the tub," Kili was long glad they could stop talking about him and Dwalin being caught. He caught himself there, because he realized that while he had no trouble talking about this around Ori—who would fluster and yet admitted he loved it—he didn't feel at ease talking about it with Fili. Perhaps it was because Fili was close with Thorin. It made things different between them. 

"You'll have to wait until sunset, if it's the same as yesterday. And it won't feel like nearly enough after hours of this heat. My suggestion to go inside had its reasons. When the sun breaks out of the clearing, I'll be inside because of that. I just...I have no idea what they could want from us. They just let me sit here all day with nothing to do. They don't talk, they don't make demands and they don't ask. It's like we're trophies. Pets."

Fili took a look at the nasty water in the basin and shuddered. Drinking it would only make him ill. He ruefully thought back on his promise to stay hydrated. The sky was threatening rain, so he slipped his metal feeding dish through the bars of his cage and sat it where it might catch some much-needed water.

"Maybe we're here," Fili speculated as he positioned the dish, "because we're close to Thorin."

"I'm not close to Thorin," Kili countered. "And the way I see it, you and him have work to do before you reach your full potential, I hope you don't mind me saying so. I don't think that's it." But he couldn't tell what was.

The ground suddenly shook. Kili scrambled to his feet and got up the single crate in his cage. He looked up helplessly at Fili, whose cage was just fine, and when he touched one of the bars, he pulled back his hand as if burnt.

"Fili?" he started, afraid. Kili was fine in the jungle, but he didn't like being tied to a patch of earth this small without being able to leave it. He felt sorely out of his comfort zone.

"What is it, Kili?" Fili's eyes were huge. The bars of his own cage simply felt like warm metal. Try as he might, he couldn't stretch far enough to reach Kili's. "What's going on over there?"

"I don't know!" The ground was drilling apart and the bars radiated heat like they ought to be red hot. For the first time since the plane crash, Kili was scared, his heart beating in his throat. He had no idea what to expect.

As unexpectedly as the tremors had come did they end. Kili stood on the crate for a long while after. That hadn't been an earthquake or any other natural phenomenon. It was an action aimed at frightening him.

It had worked.

"…I'm okay," Kili whispered so quietly at last. "What—?"

After the shaking stopped, Fili continued to watch Kili with concern until finally—shakily—he got down from his perch. He didn't speak after that for some time, so Fili decided to take the younger man up on his advice to get out of the sun. He was dreadfully thirsty and he remembered how feverish and dizzy he'd felt last time he'd gotten this thirsty. He retreated into the shade.

Fili didn't like being reminded of the shortcomings of his relationship with Thorin. He needed that surety and comfort to cling to, to help get him through this. His beloved Thorin and the others would come for them and they would be rescued, somehow. It was frustrating to Fili that, even now, Kili was denying his connection to his uncle. Poor Kili. Didn't he know how lucky he was?

On the other side of the narrow path, Kili sat staring at the bars with distrust for some time, but eventually he realized that everything was over and he would be fine for now. With still shaking limbs, he retreated back into the small room connected to his cage. The door remained open, though Kili couldn't see Fili from inside. Weary, he moved to lean against the wall, thought against it, and lay down on the hard ground.

Maybe things would be better soon.

But who was he kidding?

Tired of everything that had happened, Kili's eyes closed and he fell into a long sleep that lasted until late after the sun had sunk beneath the horizon, the last thought on his mind being how sad Fili had to be, having chosen someone because of him pressuring him and then being torn away from that choice.

On the other side of the clearing, Fili hadn't realized he'd fallen asleep until a nightmare awoke him with a gasp some time later. He was with Thorin and the plane was again going down. Only this time, fire came rushing towards them, heat washing over him in sickly wave before consuming them in its orange maw. 

He felt nauseous from the heat and his fear. It was dark. He had no idea of the time, as they'd taken his watch away. It felt late.

"Kili?" he called softly, then louder. "Kili?"

The oil lamps from the two chambers were the only lights around, as the moon's light shone poorly that night. Kili didn't respond to his beckoning. Not a sound reached Fili's ears of any movement either, except for the eerie rustling of the leaves in the vanguard of the storm.

Fili was instantly worried, remembering how unsteady Kili had been on his feet earlier—and that mysterious injury he was trying to conceal.

"Kili?" He tried just one notch louder. "Please answer me!"

At the silence, he rattled the bars to his prison in frustration. He was desperate for something to drink. The storm they had anticipated hadn't yet come and his dish sat empty. He pulled it, bone dry, back into his cell.

This was it then. He would die here, probably starved and dehydrated. Perhaps poor Kili had already been murdered. The thought brought a barking sob to the surface that surprised him. To survive such a horrible crash only to be slaughtered like a penned up animal!

He had never felt more alone in his life.

"You," came a voice from the darkness not long later, "are such an exotic and complicated creature."

The voice was like velvet, yet Fili's head immediately shot up.

One of the men who had abducted Fili initially stepped out of the underbrush. "I have been watching you for weeks. You have three men, maybe more, eating from your fingertips. And yet...," he tilted his head to the side, "it still seems as though you are unsatisfied. I wonder," the tall, pale man with eyes so blue they were nearly white, speculated, "what I could get you to do for some food and water."

Had Kili defied this man? Was that why he lay dead now?

Fili kept silent. 

The man linked his hands behind his back. He paced fluidly in front of Fili like he were a savage beast, and the stranger, a prince. Perhaps, on this island, he was.

"Lie down," he bade smoothly. "Face down. Close your eyes."

"So you can stab me in the back—strangle me again—or something worse?" Fili questioned, trying to control his anger and fear. "No, I won't make that mistake again."

The man merely shrugged. He waited for Fili to change his mind, but when he didn't, he made a show of walking towards Kili's cage instead and replacing the empty tray with one full of water and one with the best chicken and rice anyone having been on a diet of bananas and berries could imagine. He turned to look at Fili, stepped out of the way, and something akin to an electric field was raised between them.

"Anything passing through," he noted with a voice that sounded wavering, "will be gone."

Fili would watch and not be able to eat, himself, because every morsel Kili threw his way would not reach him.

"I will see you tomorrow evening."

Kili had been given food.

Kili wasn't dead.

Relief passed through Fili in a warm wave. 

Another twenty-four hours without food and water was a long time. Hopefully it would rain tonight. 

_Kili, where are you?_ he wondered, trying hard not to look at the steaming plate of warm food and the tantalizing bottle of water. 

Twenty-four hours wasn't so long.

Kili's plate was barely warm when another stranger made his presence known. Behind him, the stranger dragged a worn body that refused to walk out of fatigue rather than disobedience. Kili was flung back into his cell, the door locked and a disinterested look thrown in Fili's direction. Then it was just the two of them again.

Kili groaned and rolled over with his back towards Fili. He hated people seeing him weak, he hated it, but he couldn't do anything. Everything hurt about him.

"Kili," Fili said softly, then more loudly when he didn't respond. "God, what did they do to you?" 

A few moments passed.

"You have to get up, Kili. Eat what they brought for you," he implored. "It's your only chance of staying alive." 

"Oh, what do you know?" hissed Kili. The slightest move caused him pain—the last thing he wanted to think of right now was using more muscles than was necessary to breathe. "Leave me alone."

"I know I don't want you to die," Fili told him. "If we ever hope to escape we have to do everything we can to make that happen. They may have beaten you up, but they also gave you food and water, which I am going to have to enjoy, vicariously, through you. You'd better fucking get up and eat it before the insects do!"

Kili turned around this time. He sported a bloody lip and an already discoloring eye, and was in no mood to be told what to do. "I'm not going to die," he spat, "but neither are you telling me when to eat. Or would you rather see me puke it all up again?" His stomach had received several punches. Kili wasn't going to eat until at least that had calmed down.

"Okay," Fili conceded. "I'm sorry," he studied Kili's injuries as best he could. "Why did they do this to you?" he wondered. "Why beat you up on top of all this?"

"Because they're sadistic bastards. At least they relocated my arm. Was about time, too. You're lucky they haven't started on you." Kili threw a vile look in the direction whence the men had come. "Pisses me off. They never even talk. They just...hit."

Fili lowered his head sadly to rest against the bars in front of him. "If only they'd imprisoned us together," he sighed. "I'd try to take care of you."

Instead, all he could do was pray for rain and sleep to pass the time until he had to make another decision about how to deal with his captors' requests.

The other wasn't a fool. Kili knew that look, and it made him feel bad for his prior cursing. Against his body's will he scrambled into a sitting position and took a handful of rice from the tray. The scent reached him properly and moved his hand from the tray to his mouth a little faster.

Kili groaned in unguarded pleasure at the taste, but he soon had the decency to hold back when he realized Fili had nothing.

"Talk to me?" he whispered after a long silence. "It's so quiet here at night alone."

"One of them came to me earlier," Fili told him. "He asked me to lie down on my stomach and close my eyes. I—I didn't do it. I told him no. I was afraid of what he might do to me," he admitted. "To punish me for refusing, he brought you food and water. Not me. And there's some sort of force field up between us he claims will vaporize anything that tries to pass through."

To test this, he removed from his pocket the pebble Kili had thrown his way earlier. He tossed it gently in Kili's direction. It got about halfway there before vanishing with a sound not unlike the noise a bug makes meeting a bug zapper.

"Guess he was right," Fili observed. He smiled at Kili eating so voraciously. "Smells good. Smells better than anything I've ever smelled before."

"You're lying now." Kili smiled though. "It tastes good. I guess I needed that. I don't think they want you to starve. Otherwise, why bother with the charade?" He toed his shoes off and sighed when the skin met with warm sand.

They sat in relatively comfortable silence for a while. At last Kili sighed. "Do you think they'll be looking for us? Or are they still at the beach? God, I think I even miss Mr. Balin's campfire stories."

Fili gave the answer some thought. "Ori wouldn't let them rest, I think," he said finally. "He would come alone, armed with just his teeth to try to help us...no matter how scared he was." The thought of Ori made him sad, terribly sad. "Ori," he whispered, "please, don't come."

Though the whisper didn't reach the brunet, he spoke nonetheless, sadly, "He probably would. That man's loyal to a fault. But if they didn't catch him then, he might not make it here. It's far from the borders with the beach, I know that much. I hope he doesn't make it. I hope he'll stay at the beach where he's safe."

\- - - - - 

Fili didn't remember falling asleep, but at some point, he must have. He dreamed he was on the airplane, and Mr. Baggins had just brought him a meal of Kentucky Fried Chicken. He could feel the crispy skin between his teeth and the sweet, sticky honey on the biscuit quickened his pulse.

Then, the same old nightmare started up. He was in the coffin-like airplane restroom, clinging tightly to Thorin and the world was grinding and whistling past his ears.

"We're going to be all right," a voice whispered in his ear and a hand rose to caress his hair. When he looked up, he realized he wasn't with Thorin at all, but Kili.

Fili awoke with a gasp as soft morning light was filtering through the trees.

It still hadn't rained.


	9. The Leverage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rain, backstory and revelations.

Ori looked up at the sky. It would rain any time now. They had moved everything where they thought it wouldn't get too damaged. Before he’d left, Kili had made a start hoisting several pieces of the plane higher up where he didn't have tarpaulin or something else better fit for a roof. The vulnerable stuff was all under those shelters, leaving little room for the survivors to take shelter.

Dwalin walked up next to him. "No use looking at the sky," he said, "it's going to fall whether you want it or not today. Balin says so, and he's usually pretty good at making predictions. But you're not really looking up at the sky, are you?"

"...Where do you think they are? Do you think they're still alive?"

"Balin's predictions of rain are based on the aches in his bones," Nori said matter-of-factly, hands on his hips. "But you didn't hear that from me."

"Of _course_ they're alive," Thorin spoke from where he was helping Dori gut fish. "Why, when Kili was just thirteen, he was climbing mountains with his father, and he knew how to sail. He's very resourceful. And Fili could talk the spots off a cheetah, couldn't he? Between the two of them, I'm sure they're getting on just fine."

No one was sure if he was saying this to make his companions or himself feel better about their absence. He was barely holding himself together. And the others certainly knew that.

"We should put out any open containers we can find," Bombur suggested, to save Thorin from having to offer more inspiration. "We can probably collect a lot of fresh water during a storm."

"Right, right," and Ori was off. It wasn't the water that compelled him, but what a convenient way out of a talk he really didn't want to be having. Ori wasn't blind. He had seen the exchange between Fili and Thorin, the night before Fili was taken. They looked like they were on the right track, which was entirely on the wrong track for Ori. He needed a distraction.

Bombur tried to keep up while he walked. "This is going to be one hell of a storm," he told Ori conversationally. "Ever seen a tropic storm, lad? Well, you're about to see one. Buckle up." He pointed over to the edge of the jungle. "Looks like we've got no way out of this one. Find cover, I'll handle this."

Already the first drops were falling, and while it was pleasant, somewhere out there it cut Ori off further from Fili.

Maybe they just had to take the jungle. The problem was, now that he knew what lived inside that jungle, Ori didn't want to.

\- - - - - 

Fili heard the thunder rumble as the morning sky turned ominous.

"Oh, thank god," he murmured, setting his metal dish out to catch some rain. "I hope it's safe for us in these cages," he voiced his concern about all the nearby metal to Kili, "and for those back in the fuselage." His stomach growled, but the sound wasn't audible over the noise of wind picking up.

Kili looked up at the sky. He looked like a kid expecting a game—a beaten up kid. "Stay on the soil and don't touch the metal," he smiled, "you'll be fine. Besides, look," he pointed up at a pole not too far off, towering above their cages. "I think they had accidents before. We're good. They need us for _something_. Rain would be welcome right now."

The drops were becoming more frequent. They didn't scare Kili away—on the contrary. "I think they'll be fine at the crash site. As long as they stay near the beach, but not too near, they'll manage. Boy, this place is going to be a mud pool in half an hour."

He seemed lost in thought.

"Hey," he called out over the wind, "when this is done, tell me about how you and Thorin met. I don't think I've heard anyone's version of it yet."

As the skies opened, Fili quickly got soaked to the bone. 

The dish on Fili's lap began to fill with rainwater. He drank from it sporadically until his stomach was rounded and his headache was gone.

Fili hardly felt the rain. Instead, he found his thoughts flying back in time to the day he had first arrived at Durinco for an interview.

He had studied the company during his Economics class at Harvard. The name Thorin Oakenshield, and his handsome face, were not foreign to Fili. Thorin's grandfather had bought the company for a song back in the 1930s and he and his son had rebuilt it from the ground up. Both were dead now, but grandson Thorin had nearly tripled the value of the corporation. He had a knack for surrounding himself with the best.

Fili was confident he was about to join them.

With fondness, he remembered the first time he met Thorin. He was wearing a suit his mother had chosen for him. Grey, which she felt made his eyes 'pop'. Hey, she said, it couldn't hurt. 

A lovely red-haired woman—Dirnda, her name had been—and Balin, had done the first round of Fili's interview. They seemed impressed with his education and credentials, and, naturally, who his father was. Balin took him in a private elevator to Mr. Oakenshield's office.

Fili's stomach was knotted. He hoped he didn't make a fool of himself. As they left the elevator, they faced an empty desk.

"Thorin's between assistants at the moment," Balin explained. "He's a challenging man to work for. Challenging, but rewarding."

"I look forward to the challenge," Fili smiled confidently.

"Do you now?" a deep voice said from behind them. And Fili turned about for his first look at Thorin Oakenshield.

Thorin took him in from head to toe. He nodded appreciatively at the crisp attire. Most people he had come in here for jobs were either striplings with a choice of clothes that was still underdeveloped, or the senior specialists who knew they had the knowledge to make it happen without the suit. Dwalin for instance only ever donned a suit when it was absolutely necessary.

"Although my man says I'm between assistants at the moment," he politely said upon gesturing Fili to sit down at the other side of his large desk, "that's a suggestion he ought to have kept to himself." He smiled politely at Balin, who knew what that meant. He had talked too much, once again. "As I recall, you’re here applying for sales. So please, tell me something about yourself, Mr. Disson."

"I won't lie and say I have the work experience you're looking for," Fili smiled. "I don't. I do, however, have a very good education. I just moved home from five years in America. I got my bachelor's in Economics and an MBA from Harvard in five years instead of six. I didn't work while over there. My mother moved there with me. Most of non-school time was spent with her," he told Thorin.

"She's wheelchair-bound, due to having a cancerous tumor removed from spinal cord. She was young when it happened. Thirty-five. But she doesn't let that slow her down much. She's an artist," he explained. "Anyway, she greatly encouraged my education. I had a full scholarship to Harvard. I've always worked very hard."

"His father is Vili Disson, founder of Educomp," Balin told Thorin.

Thorin shot a glance at Fili as if he were crazy for not sharing that information right away.

"It's true, he _is_ my father," Fili told them. They could tell he was warring with what to say next. "Though I'd prefer to be considered for my own merits, not his. Although I suppose you could say that I was raised in a corporate environment, so I'm no stranger to it. Much like any of your children," he smiled at the two men. "I'm very good with people. Extremely organized," he listed his stronger skills, "and patient. I don't shy away from technology and I enjoy travel. Although I'd rather not spend too much time away from London. I do still live with and care for my mother, and that's not a job I wish to give up anytime soon. We're close," he confessed.

"I have no problem with that," Thorin acquiesced. "If men have strong homes, they are known to be more stable." He eyed the resume in front of him, well impressed, and even more so now that he knew who Fili's father was. Vili Disson had worked hard all his life and he had the reputation to demand the same of those around him. His son especially would have felt that drive for ambition.

"And what do you consider your weaker points?" Thorin wanted to know.

Everyone had weak points, in his eyes. Though in his mind, considering his parentage and his bearing, Fili's job was pretty much secured for him already. All Fili could do was screw up. What kept playing in the back of Thorin's head was how a man so ugly could have given life to someone this spotless.

"Well, I suppose my lack of social life and extra curriculars was a problem in college," Fili admitted. "To my mother's credit, she did encourage me to get out more. I just felt bad for her—alone with just me in a strange country. But the combination did allow me to graduate sooner and bring us both back home, so it worked out well. I have been known to take on too much responsibility," Fili told them. "But I won't admit to it after the fact. I just plug away. I'm a very hard worker, and I crave variety and a chance to be creative," he told them. "If you feel you have a place for me here, I'd be eager to hear about it."

Balin looked at Thorin and they exchanged a look. Balin was the kind of person to look friendly even while he blew someone off, but Thorin looked interested—very interested.

Fili's attention was pulled away from him when Balin spoke.

"Here's a situation I would like you to tell me of how you would handle it. Three people need Mr. Oakenshield's attention. They are equally important and the jobs will offer us an equal amount of profit. How would you decide which job gets the attention and which will have to be postponed?"

"Well," Fili thought for a moment, "I suppose, knowing nothing else about these clients, I'd have to go with who had the appointment or deadline set for the longest. That client would get first priority. It would be the only fair thing to do. However, if I found out later that Mr. Oakenshield was pushing one of the accounts harder, or that one of the clients was a long time friend—and might be more forgiving our lateness—I'd plan accordingly.

"That being said," he continued, "If a client is new, we might want to try to handle them first, to establish a better hold on them. We've already impressed long-time clients. But, knowing what I've already told _you_ about my personality, you know I'd probably burn the midnight oil and get all three done on time—sleep be damned," he smiled, mostly because it was the truth. He only hoped it was what Thorin wanted to hear.

Thorin smiled. He pushed the sheet of paper away from him and towards his advisor. "I believe we know enough, don't we, my friend?"

It was an exceptionally short job interview and it seemed to deal with matters that didn't fully feel like sales alone. But Thorin was not disinterested. In fact he had rather made up his mind. Fili was going to be his new assistant, one way or another. Perhaps it would take some time, or perhaps this man got the job right from the start, but eventually, Thorin was going to have Fili working directly under him.

Balin nodded. "I believe so, Mr. Oakenshield. Come, Mr. Disson, I'll walk you to the door." He got up and waited patiently. 

As soon as they were out of Thorin's office, Balin smiled. "It may be a bit presumptuous, but if you want, I'll give you a bit of a tour on the way out?"

"Wait a moment, Mr. Balin," Fili put a hand on the man's arm. "Would it be all right if I spoke to Mr. Oakenshield privately?"

When the man didn't argue, Fili knocked softly and slipped back into Thorin's office.

"Sir," he asked, trying to keep his voice firm. "The questions you had Mr. Balin asking me...they seemed like the sort of thing you'd ask of an assistant. Please, forgive my candor, but I didn't receive an MBA at Harvard—from which I graduated third in my class—to be someone's secretary. I value myself more than that. I had rather hoped you might too."

Thorin turned his eyes to him. "You believe yourself above an assistant?" he wondered. From having gotten up from his chair, he sat back down and gestured Fili to do the same.

"Tell me," he continued, folding his hands in front of his chin, "What is it you think my assistant does? Take notes? Wave bothersome people off?"

Fili's confidence faltered, "I—I can't imagine, sir. All I know of the position is what I learned in the past 30 minutes. Balin said you struggle to keep one." He cleared his throat. "I would imagine that, in addition to secretarial duties, there is some event planning, gate keeping, and of course, representation. I certainly don't think I'm _above_ doing that sort of work," he backpedaled. "I'd be honored with any position you felt willing to offer me, Mr. Oakenshield."

"Then why did you just tell me you're not here for an assistant job?" Thorin raised his brow. "I can tell you, becoming my assistant—if that were the case, which is based on your assumption—will pay you more than you’d earn from sales. That includes bonuses and other extras of the like. You won't be just a secretary. You'd be a sparring partner, someone whose opinion is valued. Given that you, of course, don't think yourself to be above anyone else."

"I don't, sir. I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression of me," Fili said quietly. "I suppose I channeled my father there for a moment. It won't happen again. I'm sorry."

Thorin tipped his head. "You don't seem to have a lot of credit for your father, despite the many great things he's done. Tell me, how was your relationship with him?"

"Based on what I studied about your relationship with your father," Fili sat back, "I can't imagine you would judge me based on my relationship with mine. But, if you must know, he had a very low tolerance for failure. So, I didn't fail. Ever. When my mother got ill, he divorced her because she could no longer walk on his arm at parties," Fili looked down at his carefully clasped hands. 

"He was more than a bit of a tyrant," he confessed. "And yet, he still sends her money. He helped us move to America when I got the scholarship. I'm proud of what he's accomplished. I'm just not necessarily on board with all of his philosophies."

Thorin looked at the response he was given. He had to admit it though, without coming across as damaged goods, this lad could hold an opinion. Thorin liked a bit of backbone.

"Tell me, if you were to work with me, and I turned out to be a bit of a tyrant like your old man, how would you deal with that?"

 _Trick question_ , Thorin smiled. _Show me what you're made of, son of my biggest rival._

Fili gave his first genuine smile of the day, one that made all those prior to it seem insincere. 

"I _count_ on you being a tyrant, Mr. Oakenshield. How would you have tripled your company's worth without that personality trait? But having had experience with tyrants, I know there's much more to you than simply business acumen." He sat forward, elbows on his knees. "Nothing could please me more than to help _you_ find success."

Thorin would have to read between the lines. To work for his father's biggest rival, to grow with him...Vili Disson would implode. Fili could tell by the look in Thorin's incredibly blue eyes that he'd driven the point home.

He could have easily worked by his father's side at Educomp. He had purposefully chosen to procure a job with his father's rival.

For a long time Thorin observed the man in front of him. At last he sat back, tapped with his hand on the table—a habit—and got up. "Mr. Balin?" he called out, "Would you come here for a minute?" To Fili, Thorin merely offered an inclination of his head and walked to another room, leaving him to sit at the desk alone.

Balin entered and, finding his boss not where he thought he'd be, understood at once. He hurried to the other room and closed it behind him. The door shut to create a soundproof conference between two. That lasted for fifteen minutes in which Fili was just made to sit there and hope they had not forgotten. But eventually Thorin came out and sat down again.

"A hundred thousand pounds annual pay if you become my assistant. Tell me, how does that sound, Fili, son of Vili Disson?"

Fili knew he’d be a fool not to accept. And he really wanted the job.

"I won't disappoint you, Mr. Oakenshield," Fili offered his him hand to shake, then shook Mr. Balin's as well.

\- - - - - 

"...and that's how I met your uncle," Fili completed his story to Kili. "At least, that was our first day together. I started working for him the Monday after. Back then, it was strictly professional, of course."

The post-storm sun was warm, but the blond's wet clothing clung to him, making him shiver when the occasional breeze sprang up. "I can't believe just yesterday I was complaining about the heat," he hugged himself. "Crazy island weather." He cleared away the tickle that was forming in the back of his throat and drank a bit more of the water he'd saved. "Do you remember the day you started at the company? The day we met?"

With his wounds still present but soothed by the onslaught of the rain—Kili had sat outside for as long as he could, until he had no other choice—Kili found himself coming back to life. "I do," he chuckled, "but I don't think you want me to recall that. I didn't...think kindly of you, really. So he just offered you a hundred grand? Because you are your father's son? Wow. He told me, minimum wages and a bonus if you work well. Wow."

Fili instantly felt guilty for how much Thorin was paying him. It had risen to one hundred twenty pounds over the next five years. But then the guilt faded. He had worked his ass off. Thorin could be a dick—downright cruel sometimes—even to someone he purported to love. It certainly wasn't always wine and roses.

What Fili had a really hard time understanding was the way Thorin treated Kili. Kili, despite his bravado, was terribly sweet and worked very hard. He didn't know how to voice this, so he didn't. He got the feeling that Kili didn't appreciate his sympathy or pity. Or even him, all that much.

"Oh, sorry," Kili groaned almost as if he could hear it. "I know you well enough to tell that look on your face. Sorry. I mean, you actually have a degree in the field and I started as a trainee. I didn't mean to make you feel bad. It's just…a lot of money, you know?" He smiled apologetically. "Can we forget I said that? Sorry if I keep comparing us. I don't want to. I'm actually very happy with how little Thorin there is in my life. Well, my normal life, not on this island. You did last a very long time with him. None of the other assistants have."

“I guess I don’t have to ask what drove them away,” Fili smiled sadly. “I mean, after all, I _do_ know him. I wonder though, if he’d ever been romantic with any of his previous assistants.”

Kili snorted. "You're asking the wrong person."

Not to mention he didn't want to have a verdict to give that could possibly influence Fili's interaction with Thorin. That was going to come back and bite him in the ass one day, because he'd always be doing somebody wrong.

"I suppose I am," Fili drew his legs up tighter, hugging them to his chest. "I'd do anything for a hot shower right now," he moaned. "I have sand and mud in places I'd prefer it not be."

"Anything?" spoke a strange voice.

They didn't know they were being watched until they realized a girl sat between the two cages, slightly to Kili's side. The electric fence seemed to have been turned off because of the storm. "You might want to be careful with what you say." Her chestnut hair reached to the ground when she sat, the ends sticking to each other. She didn't mind the mud. "If you say something they like, they'll take you up on it. That what you said right there...dangerous."

She turned to Kili then and looked him over. "Are you all right? I'm so sorry for what they did to you. Please, stop talking back next time. You won't make it better."

Fili frowned and looked away. This sort of talk made him uncomfortable. All his captors did. But he might have known Kili had been egging them on. No wonder he was so badly beaten.

None of this, of course, answered his most burning question. 

"Why are we here?" he asked the woman. "We nearly died two weeks ago in a plane crash only to be locked in cages. Why?"

She turned. "You believe that crash was an accident?" She slipped food into Kili's tray from under her tunics. It was cold, but it was nurturing. "Thorin. Of course it's Thorin. You're his lover, he's his nephew. I don't have much time. Eat fast and pretend you didn't have any, or I won't be able to do you a favor like this again."

The stranger got up and moved to Fili. For him she had more, as he hadn't eaten yesterday. "By being away from him, your cages are useful."

"Thank you," he accepted what appeared to be two small baked meat turnovers, and a bottle of water. It was nothing short of a miracle. Fili smiled at the gesture. After a quick sniff to make sure the meal didn't contain coconut, he wolfed one down. "God, thank you!" he repeated with a bit more vigor. "You mean to tell us someone in this camp knows who we are? Knows Thorin?" he asked her, once he'd eaten the first pie.

"We all do." She spoke hushed and fast, like she was ready to run at any small hint of trouble. "Thorin Oakenshield, of Durinco. Do not speak lightly about him. If it suits them, they will make you do whatever pleases them, simply because they can. Whatever happens to you two, it means Thorin is paying back for this curse of an island."

At a sound she raised herself, and then decided that it wasn't Fili she had gotten here for. Quickly she moved back to Kili's cage and gestured him to come closer. When he did, cautiously, she pushed a small container of salve in his hands. "For your burns," she said. "Try not to get int—oh."

Another sound came from their left. When they both looked back, she was gone.

Kili quickly pocketed the salve and hoped Fili hadn't heard her last words. "You were right," he said, baffled. 

"It's been him all along. Before we left to come find you," Fili told him around a bite of his second pie, "Thorin mentioned having dealt with some men who met the description of the men we saw. The men who have us. It was something his father began, but he finished. He admitted to not having done his best, as it was right after his father died. God, what did he do to these people to have them bring down our company plane?" he frowned.

"And what are they doing to do to _us_ to punish him?" 

Kili applied a fingertip of the salve to his knee, dabbing gently so as not to further worry inflamed skin. "That's it, isn't it?" he bit his lip. "They don't need anything from us. We haven't got anything to bargain with, because we're just the hostages. The _leverage_. All we have to do is sit here and stay alive, and they can do whatever they want." With every word, Kili's dread increased. "We need to get away."

"My god," Fili's eyes followed Kili's hands as he dressed his wounds. "Are those burns? What did they _do_ to you, Kili?"

Kili looked away. He breathed in, knowing he couldn't keep protecting Fili by not telling him. One of these days, they would turn their eyes on his companion in the other cage, no matter how well he tried to distract them from him. "Electric shocks. That's what these are from. Nothing lasting. I'll be fine, so don't worry about me."

Tomorrow would be another day. They had only taken him out during the day to hurt him. He didn't want this. Hadn't he always been trouble to Thorin? And this was how his enemies saw fit to reward him.

Kili caught himself trying to hold back tears of frustration. He turned away from Fili when he couldn't hold them in any more. At least the distance between them spared him from the humiliation of the other knowing how weak he was. Fili couldn't come over and force him to turn around.

Pride. Damn, cursed, pride. The downfall of the Oakenshields. Fili could allow Kili his pride. He had to. It was all he had left.

But he did say, "I'm so sorry, Kili. Sorry they did that to you, and sorry it's me you're stuck here with."

He retreated back inside the private part of his cage where he could hide the water the female captor had brought from the prying eyes of the rest of them.

 _I know you hate me,_ was what Fili was thinking. _I represent everything you despise._

With a meal in his stomach and his head clear, sleep came with remarkable ease.

For a long time after he moved, Kili was left to sit where he had taken his place and look at the cabin if Fili didn't come back out. He didn't. Kili couldn't handle that cold shoulder, not now. Fresh tears sprang up again. God, he hated crying, and now look at him. No doubt their captors could add that weakness to their list of observations.

\- - - - - 

Kili was the first thing that came to Fili’s mind after he awoke, just before the plane in his dream hit the beach. He got to his feet and went back out into the open cage area.

"I'm sorry," he told the younger man. "I got some food in me and it worked better than sleeping pills. I didn't mean to desert you like that."

Kili's eyes had dried up overnight, thank goodness for that. He smiled with little enthusiasm behind it. "You got some sleep. That's good. I'm still here. That's good too. Yesterday and the day before, they woke me before dawn." He pointed at a new tray in front of him, filled with a mishmash of anything separated nearly in sections.

"I think they want you to live. Eat up, it looks good." Kili smiled for good measure. "Good to hear you had some sleep."

"What about you?" Fili wondered, yawning and stretching. "Were you fed, Kili? Did that strange woman return?

She hadn't. "I already ate my food," Kili said. The lie came easier after the first sentence. "When it was still hot. I didn't want to call out to wake you. Trust me, it's good."

Fili nodded. "There's way much more here than I could ever hope to eat. Do you want some?" he asked the other captive, not very convinced by Kili's answer. Like his uncle, Kili tended to purse his lips when he was lying about something.

"You mean to throw it?" Kili doubted that was going to work. They had no idea whether the electrical field was still up. He dug his feet into the muddy soil. The ochre made the skin look infected, but it had become a habit. "You should eat it. We might not get anything for a while."

Scarcely had he said that, or the floor started shaking again. Kili's eyes went wide and he pushed himself off the bars against which he was leaning. The tremors were stronger this time. One by one, lines appeared in the sand until they made a full square around Kili. He instantly scrambled out of it—and a good thing too, for with a loud mechanical noise, the square fell away and a dusty pit opened up.

The bars cooled down and the rumbling subsided. Kili was intensely shaken when he looked up at Fili. It took him some time to notice that this time, it hadn't been just his cage.

"Kili!" Fili cried out as the dust settled that obscured Kili from his view. "Talk to me! What happened over there?"

Kili looked horrified at the hole, though he chanced closer, all the while wondering if this was the day his curiosity was going to get him killed, and blinked when instead of a gaping darkness, he found a tunnel.

"There's," he started, "I think there's a way out."

"I'm not sure going down there is wise," Fili cautioned. "It's _them_ causing those earthquakes. It's what they want you to do. I don't think I could bear seeing you get hurt again. J-just...please, be careful," he begged. "And here," he picked up a banana and tossed it in Kili's direction.

"I can't sit around here waiting for them to let me die, Fili," Kili said apologetically. He caught the banana and ate it, and it filled him with a desire to stay aboveground, but he forced himself up in the end. "Maybe it's her. She's kind. I'll be careful."

The floor was only six feet deep, with metal stairs leading down. It couldn't be more obvious what the tunnel was for. If these were animal cages, these would probably lead to a central unit. A clang reverberated after he hit the floor with his quickly put on shoes, echoing further into the hallway. Fili could hear them from the pit in his own cage, followed by a call. "I'm okay! Heading in now."

The footsteps got closer.

Fili waited with bated breath, too nervous to eat, for the sound of Kili being accosted—possibly badly hurt again—by their seemingly ruthless captors.

As he waited, he wondered what lay beneath the floor of his own cage.

It felt like minutes, but it was one at most. That was the time it took for Kili to understand its true purpose. It wasn't a way out, it was just a means to transfer. When the cage had to be cleaned, they probably moved the animals from one cage to the next. Kili looked up at the sky on the other side of the tunnel and saw nothing but more bars.

But if he was right...

He hurried to the ladder and clambered up just as the latches in both cages were going up again, about to lock him underground forever.

Fili couldn't breathe. He heard Kili scrambling around, at times seeming to be right beneath him, and wondered who might be chasing him.

Then, he heard the sound of metal bars going into lockdown position.

"Oh god...Kili," he whispered, prayed. "Hurry out of there!"

A great whorl demanded his attention from his cabin suddenly. It sounded like the basin in his cell was being emptied into the locked down corridor, its water level dropping like the floor had plummeted out of it. There was nothing for Fili to do. He couldn't hold the water back as it rushed towards Kili, who was trapped under the ground with nowhere to go.

Yet when the final gallons of water leveled to just a few inches under the floor, a voice sounded.

"Give me a hand!"

Kili drifted in the middle of the water like a drowned rat. "Christ! Tell me not to do it, next time I plan on doing something like this again. Sorry about the bath."

Fili extended his hand and hauled Kili up onto the relatively dry land of his cage's floor. He didn't say anything, but threw his arms around the younger man and hugged him tightly.

Finally, Fili pulled away, giving Kili room to breathe. He tipped Kili's face to one side, studying the numerous bruises and cuts. "I am _so_ happy to see you," he told him at length. 

Like the wet dog that Kili felt like, he shook his head to dislodge most of the water. Unfortunately, that gave Fili an accidental shower on the side. When Kili saw what he did, he quickly stopped. He couldn't keep that same canine grin from his face. It was obvious Fili studied his bruises, but Kili didn't care about them for the moment.

There was food in this cage, and there was human company. There was Fili.

"Do I match the description?" he played lightly, before poking the other himself. "You're here. Or actually, I'm there. Which is here. Thank god, I was going crazy over there. You look good."

Fili shook his head in amazement, and helped Kili to a dry spot on the floor. "Sit here. Rest," he insisted, then brought his plate of food over. "Take whatever you want," he offered. "God, that was...insanely brave, and very stupid. No doubt there will be hell to pay...but I'm just so happy you decided to come visit," he smiled, reaching for Kili's hand.

When he realized it, he pulled away before reaching his destination. The long-used method of comfort from his childhood—hand-holding—clearly made Kili uncomfortable. He had basically told Kili as much not three days earlier. Instead, he patted his forearm reassuringly.

Kili saw it, of course he did. Now that the high of having made it was quieting down—just a little—he realized that the thought of food had the ability to make his stomach growl. That, and he'd just locked himself in a cage with Fili, and there was no longer a basin to take a poor excuse of a bath in. Considering how hot the days could get, he felt like he hadn't quite thought that one through. With wet hands he broke off a chip of fish, where it flaked around his digits and the eating was clumsy, his shaking hand leaving several crumbs at the corner of his mouth.

"You eat too. Go on. I'm not going to have you force me to eat it all. It's really good to be here, you know." Not that the means of getting there had been. Suddenly he had the overwhelming feeling that he needed to pull Fili close and hold him, if only to see if he was real.

Well, the solid shape between his arms said, seconds later, he was real.

Fili wasn't about to pull away. He craved the solidity of another body. Human contact.

"It must have been terrifying down there," he said soothingly. "You could have died, Kili," he scolded him of the obvious. "Thorin would have been very disappointed with me if I let that happen to you."

Kili's smile dropped and he made to move away.

"Yes, well. As long as he's happy."

"He’d be devastated if anything happened to you," Fili stilled him with one hand and offered him his water bottle, "despite what you might think."

Kili looked at him without understanding. Thorin would have been disappointed. Not, _Fili_ would have been devastated himself. _Thorin_ would have been disappointed. It was like telling a friend, _thank god you survived that car crash, or I would have had to tell your mom._ Kili offered the tray back, wrapped his arms around his own body and walked out into the sun. 

He needed warmth.


	10. The Man Who Thaws The Great Frost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Kili are given the opportunity to be released from captivity... on one condition.

Fili seemed to be able to say only the wrong things to this exotic creature, Thorin's nephew. All his efforts to try to get closer to Kili failed. But he had to keep trying. 

"Kili," he followed the young man out into the sun, where he sat shivering. "I can't seem to say anything that makes you think highly of me," Fili said softly, "when all I'm trying to do is the opposite. I liked you right away when I met you, you know. But everything I say seems to rub you the wrong way," he sighed. "I'm sorry, Kili. I wanted to be your friend."

A pebble hit his foot. And another. Stubbornly, Kili had found himself a spot in the far corner of the cage and was with a pout on his lips throwing small rocks in Fili's direction. "You'd have to explain to Thorin how I got myself killed? Really? I know I don't look like I care much about a lot of things some times, but that—that—ugh!" Kili groaned and banged his head back against the bar behind him. "How does he have to get in between everything we do? When we talk, it's usually about him, and I know I forced you to make a decision and I'm really glad that you have, so I know I'm partly to blame for that, but he's just... _everywhere_. Can't we be friends without his constant presence?"

"Yes, Kili, of course we can," Fili smiled, but sadly. "It's just...he's the one thing we have in common. If not for him, we might not have met. And I know that you don't often think highly of him. I _know_ that. But I do. I _love_ him, Kili. I love your uncle. So yes, I'm going to talk about him, if only by accident. I'm sorry. I'll try not to, for your sake, though."

Fili was quiet for a few moments, admiring the small arsenal of pebbles that had accrued around his feet. 

"You have good aim," he told Kili with a grin, "and incredibly beautiful eyes."

Kili sniffed. "Of course I do, what's that got to do with it?" But he peeked up and there was a willingness to forgive there. He couldn't blame Fili for loving someone. Hadn't people always told him, you talk about what is on your mind the most? Thorin had better stop making demands about him quitting his job or whatever and do something good for a change. Fili deserved that. But Kili still challenged Fili to reply.

Fili, of course, wouldn't admit it, but he rather enjoyed watching Kili's eyes which so beautifully displayed every emotion he was feeling, even when he tried to hide them. "Biology," Fili said, with seeming randomness. "On your resume it says you have a degree in Biology. Tell me about that."

Finally, a subject Kili could talk about for hours. His whole countenance lit up. "Ah, Biology. You’d probably expect my choosing Biology had to do with rocks in some way, considering the family business. It actually doesn't. While the family fortune is based on dead things, I prefer that which is still living. Behavior patterns. How animals live. You'd be surprised how social animals are when you don't expect them to be. Uncle called my first traineeship in a wild reserve in Africa a safari, but he's never ridden an ostrich or brushed a sleeping lion's mane. It's wonderful."

His smile saddened. "Then I couldn't find a job. I wasn't lying about that farm in the middle of nowhere. Llamas, or ostriches, or just horses. But keeping animals takes a lot of money. It's sad how jobs that are closest to our origin are so hard these days, and the evolutionarily most useless occupations earns the big money." Kili didn't want to be talking about how one of the best chapters of his life had ended. "Tell me, have you ever been to the zoo?"

A slow grin spread across Fili's face. "We're in the zoo right _now,_ aren't we? I wonder, are you evaluating my social behavior, as we speak?" 

"Just a little," Kili had to admit. "But your social behavior is a bit boring, actually. You're very stable. Tell me, are there times you think about doing something weird, when no-one is around? Like rolling in the sand, or bursting into song?"

"My father sort of...discouraged that. Impulsivity," he looked down at his hands. "Of course, the last two times I did something impulsive," he paused. "Well, never mind that. I'm not a total stick in the mud, Kili. I'm just not as wild as you are. I was bred in captivity, I suppose."

"Bred in captivity or not, you're still an animal at heart, and animals sometimes do untrained things." The brunet tipped his head. "The last two times you did something impulsive? You know you'll have to tell me if you start a sentence like that and then don't finish."

If they ever got back to the civilized world, Kili would take Fili to a zoo. Perhaps he would understand his choice a little more.

"One of those things involved someone we're not talking about," Fili told him, raising his eyebrows in warning. "The other was at the lagoon, with Ori. Again, something I was made to regret. You see? Impulsivity and me? Bad combo."

"Right, right. But see, you were _trained_ to regret. You could have walked away, except you didn't." Kili felt a heat rise to his cheeks though. "Wrong analogy, I suppose. I'm just saying, you may surprise yourself yet. I don't believe you're a stick in the mud. If you were, you would have turned around immediately, that night. What about your old man? He sounds like an—well, not a very nice man." An asshole, Kili meant to say.

" _Nice_ would never be a word used to describe him, no. _Driven, successful, rich...._ yes. Although, on the surface, he likes to appear to be a philanthropist. It's really quite irritating."

"Your dad's a businessman." Kili threw one more pebble for good measure, a scowl on his face. "Does he bother you often?"

"Not really, no," Fili admitted. "I haven't spoken to him in five years."

"Oh." Kili looked up. "Do you miss him?"

Fili shook his head. "No," he nearly whispered. "He was never much of a dad to speak of."

"I miss my dad," Kili admitted. "Every day." He got up and sat down next to Fili, where he leaned against his shoulder without invitation. "Let's not be our parents when we grow up, okay? You will get to be an awesome dad who gets to tell his kids about his adventures in the jungle."

"Oh, Kili," the blond's head shot up. "I did it again! Here I am complaining about what a horrible father I have...and yours is...god, he's gone. I'm sorry you didn't get more time with him. If he's responsible for—well, for _you_ —I'd say you were quite robbed."

The younger of the two smiled bitterly. "We all have our time to go. I think he lived a great life, from what I remember of it. He probably lived more of it than a lot of other people with a long life. Don't feel sorry for me or for him, because the memory will be with me forever. It's a good one. He taught me how to climb the tree in the back yard, you know. Mum kept saying he was crazy, but I could tell she loved to see me climb up."

"That I can understand," Fili smiled wistfully, unshed tears forming in his eyes. "I rather enjoyed watching you climb trees that first day on the island, gathering coconuts."

Kili nudged him with his shoulder and rested his head against Fili's. From here, he had a good view of his former cage. It looked forgotten. "It's harder to learn when you're older, but if you want..."

Fili chuckled. "I don't know...maybe once we're back home and there's a handy hospital nearby."

"Mh. Looks like I'll have to get you to smoke something and relax first. I can do that, so don't tempt me. We can invite Ori and I'll give you two a crash course."

"A crash course in climbing, perhaps," Fili smiled. "But we don't need any help procuring, uh, _refreshments_ , when we need them. The 'crash' part sounds ominous, though."

Kili cackled. "Refreshments! Oh, come on, you can't tell me you've never gotten high before! Not, mind you, that it's a habit of mine. But I know how it works, and I've seen the plants. Just saying, Biology major."

"I've been high, Kili," the blonde frowned. "At least...twice. And neither one was in college."

Kili turned his head where it rested on Fili's shoulder. He was slightly too close for anyone's standards, but in his curiosity he did not notice. "Bad _boy_. Would you like to do it again?"

Fili huffed, "God, yes. What I wouldn't give to be high right now. For this to have all been a bad trip. Know what I mean?"

"Can't do that. But I can help you forget about it for a while?"

“You already have, Kili," Fili reached for his hand and took it.

Kili's eyes grew bigger. At the same time though, the hand provided comfort. For the first time in days, he closed his eyes and did not fear. It was a pleasant feeling that felt like letting go. Kili had shouldered so many things. He needed it. "Cheat," he mumbled, "You know what I mean."

"I know what you mean," Fili repeated his words back to him. "And thank you. We have no idea what's going to happen to us next. I feel better knowing I'm with a friend. Less afraid." 

When Kili nodded his head, his hair mussed up further against Fili's shoulder. The hardships of the last days came crashing down on him at last, and he breathed out. His inhaling slowed down to a lazy pace after that. Before Fili knew it, at approximately nine o'clock in the morning, Kili had fallen asleep on him.

Fili couldn't bear to move. He had nowhere to go, and nowhere he wanted to be. He decided to stay by Kili's side until the young man woke up again. Twenty minutes later he had hummed through half of Heart's _Dreamboat Annie_ album and was thinking about how nice it would be to have a blanket, when he too dozed off.

They stayed like that for hours, in a poor position and too tired to do something about it. It was at last the heat rising to the zenith of the day that woke Fili up, with Kili unceremoniously knocked out in his lap, his hand fisting the coarse denim of his shorts. He looked like a human blanket clinging onto sleep.

"Kili Oakenshield," a voice spoke from outside the cage. "A stubborn one, that one is."

Fili, surprised and still half asleep, put a protective hand over Kili’s rib cage, as if to shelter him from harm. "He only came over here because someone opened up a hole in the floor of his cage," he told his captor.

"That was my doing, yes." The rigid man watched him.

"You wanted him to come over to my cage," Fili's blue eyes locked with his captor's. It was a statement, not a question.

The man inclined his head. "He's resourceful, your little friend. We were eager to see just how resourceful, so we locked the latches before he could make it out. He did so brilliantly, one must say. Do not worry, that was his challenge for the day. Tomorrow awaits another, as I'm sure you understand by now, but he is free for the rest of the day." The looked up at the sky. "He is different from his uncle. It's hard to see what they have in common."

"Is this _my_ challenge, then?" Fili wondered "To be forced to listen to you speak so proudly of your torture methods, and badmouth the man that I have given my heart to?"

"Do you consider that a challenge?" The man smiled. "Come now, that's hardly a challenge. Don't worry so much. One more challenge, and that'll be the end of it for now. That is, if you make the right decision. But I'm not here for that. I merely wanted to meet the man who thaws the great frost. I do assume he's not the same around you as he is around his business partners."

_The great frost._

Was that how these strangers viewed Thorin? Like a giant immovable iceberg?

If only they knew the Thorin that Fili knew. The Thorin who held him from behind as they watched the sun coming up from their hotel room in Venice. The Thorin who helped him pick out and pay for a top of the line wheelchair for his mother.

But Fili wasn't going to give them the satisfaction of telling them about any of those things.

"I'm sorry for what he's done to you; your people," he told him. "Had I been his assistant or his lover at the time, I might have advised him differently."

"I doubt he would have told you."

For a moment it looked as if Kili was waking up. The man kept surprisingly quiet in consideration. As soon as Kili stilled, he spoke again.

"What we got was more than what looked like a fair deal. We got an island, rich with alloys and minerals to delve. You can imagine how pleased we were. Thorin had arranged it himself, hand-picked this island. All we needed to do was settle a work station here and begin. You can imagine that when half a year passed and we had not heard a word from the people sent off to make it happen, we assumed something unfortunate, like a satellite connection problem. You must have figured out by now there is no reception on this island. So I decided to pay a visit, to go and see for myself. We have working ships, Fili. We had plenty of fuel. But as soon as I got here, I could not return, nor could I contact anyone. I was trapped, together with half my company, whom I'd provided with money and expensive equipment. My company was on the verge of a financially disastrous merger when I left home. I've been here several years since that day I touched shore. Undoubtedly, what was left of the company no longer exists."

Fili didn't know what to say. Even though Thorin occasionally had bouts of anger, he couldn't imagine that his boss would purposefully send a group of people out here to be stranded. "I was led to understand that that the deal was originally drawn up by Thorin's father before he died," Fili told him. "Thorin likes to make money but he would never do this to anyone. I cannot say the same about his father. Thorin was in mourning when the paperwork was signed. It's not an excuse, of course, but aside from what his father told him, he had little knowledge of this deal. If anything, he's guilty of not doing due diligence. So, how are we and you to get off this island?" he asked his captor.

"Oh, Thorin knew. Even back then, he tended to get involved wherever he could."

The man took a deep breath. He looked almost sad.

"I'm sure you've guessed my name by now. I expect you to let him know of all that has happened to the two of you here, what mess he's gotten himself into. There is no way off the island once you've touched soil. He and I will be here for a long time. We all will."

"My heart goes out to you," said Fili, "to all of us, of course, if what you say is true and we are trapped here. But I cannot imagine Thorin sending anyone here and relegating them to this fate. He is a shrewd and sometimes ruthless businessman, it's true, but he is not deliberately cruel. If Thráin knew of this island’s problems, he must not have shared it with Thorin. I'm sorry, but I refuse to believe you."

"You defend him valiantly still." Thranduil looked at him with something akin to admiration. "You must truly love him. If you play your cards right, you may see him again tomorrow night." He stepped back. "I will leave you two alone."

"We all want the same thing...to get off this island and go home," Fili reminded him. "Surely the best way to do that is to work together. It's clear you have issues with Thorin. But I think it would benefit you to hear his side of the story," Fili implored. 

As he spoke, Fili held securely onto Kili like a life line, lest he come un-tethered. He could not allow himself to believe the things this man had told him, for, if they were true, then the last five years of his life had been a lie.

Thranduil bowed courteously, unlike the honors he had offered Kili, Thorin's unwilling blood. He was gone without a reply. In his absence, crickets made for the sound of the night, supplemented by the occasional rustle of a lizard or another small creature.

Perhaps it was the silence, but Kili curled further in on himself and tightened his hold on Fili. Thranduil’s words had left Fili chilled. Did this man also believe that Kili too was evil...that it was somehow an Oakenshield genetic trait? It certainly explained the torture. He hoped Kili hadn't heard anything that was said.

But Kili slept on and did not wake until what had to be around four in the morning, just a little before dawn. Underneath him, Fili was fast asleep. Sleepy though his mind was, Kili smiled at that and went back to sleep. Only a few more hours until, hopefully, they would give them some food.

That scent woke him when it was bright. He squinted. Fili was no longer asleep and somehow, no longer under him. He didn't understand much how he had managed that without Kili waking up, but the earth was now both his bed and his pillow.

He felt sore all over.

"Up and about," Thranduil noted. The sound of his voice pulled both their eyes towards him. He was leaning against a crate, pale as always, like the heat did not affect him, and gestured towards the meal.

"Eat. It might be the last time we provide it to you."

Fili tried to reassure Kili with a small smile and confidence in his eyes, but he was sure his fears betrayed him. This meal—hot and sizeable—was the type of food fed to condemned men about to die.

"Sir," Fili asked, because his stomach was so knotted he'd surely offend their captors by not eating, "are you going to kill us?"

Thranduil seemed to consider that. He looked to his side, where two of his kin were waiting. "A plausible deduction, yes," he mused, “what with us reuniting you just a day ago, and now this meal. It's a very good meal though, I would not let it go to waste either way."

He indicated the men flanking him. "These men do intend on putting a bag over your head very soon. It's simple. The only way you're useful to us is if you get back to Thorin. But I don't plan on just letting you go without you having earned that. So, I propose a trade. You give us something we want, and in return we will grant you your freedom and return you to the locations from whence we seized you."

Fili's chest felt tight with fear and he exchanged a glance with Kili. "W-what is it that you want?" he asked Thranduil.

"A kiss," Thranduil smiled kindly, like a snake waiting to strike, "between the two of you. Those are our terms."

"You want me to kiss Kili?" Fili repeated, to be sure the man wasn't joking. "Kiss him, and you'll let us go back to our company? Just like that?"

Contrary to Fili, Kili wasn't elated. Cold dread coursed through him at the notion. He couldn't. He couldn't kiss him and then get back to their group and have it be treated like a joke. He knew long before Thranduil spoke how it was meant.

"Just like that." Thranduil looked at his hands. "Of course, we do have standards. A simple kiss on the cheek or on the mouth will not do. Convince me. Convince me and you're free to go."

"Convince you of _what?_ " Fili asked them. "That we're in love? We...you know that we are not a couple, don't you? Why would you ask this?"

He locked eyes with Kili as if to say _What do we do?_

Kili shook his head. He felt backed into a corner, and Fili was treating it like it was nothing.

"That you mean it, is all," Thranduil supplied. "I know you're not in love. You don't need to be in love to share a proper kiss. Ask Kili if you want examples."

Kili's head shot back at Thranduil with an angry look, but he did not speak.

Fili felt the painful barb of his captor's words as well. Kissing Kili would not be a hardship. He liked him. Liked him a lot. In time, he could come to love him, he supposed. Especially if they were to be family.

"Kili," the blond reached for him, pulling him to his feet. "We can give them what they want, can't we? You could pretend I'm Mr. Dwalin, or someone else, right?"

_I don't want to pretend you're Dwalin._ Kili took a step back. "Don't we get time to consider it? Does it have to be right now, or not at all?"

Thranduil made a noise of understanding. "Ah, but the offer stands today, and the longer you wait, the later you'll be returned to your locations. I'm sure Kili doesn't mind being delivered to the edge of the woods but Fili, you might have to survive in the middle of the night, far from the others."

"Kili," Fili turned to the younger man, "what's to consider? They're offering us freedom if we kiss one another. Of all things, it's far from the worst possible price, isn't it?"

_He really_ does _detest me_ , was what Fili was thinking, and he struggled to hide how much that hurt him. "I think we should do it," he said decisively. "Right now."

The pressure pissed Kili right off. "Fine," he threw his hands up. "Come on then, since you seem to have made up your mind for both of us." And with a grand gesture, he let his arms fall limply by his side, standing for all the world like a statue in waiting. "I hope you're happy," he hissed at Thranduil.

Fili held back. Kili did not want this. He wanted anything _but_ this. And, somehow, their sadistic captors knew it.

"I'm sorry, Kili," Fili told him, and he tried to recapture that warm, safe feeling he'd had when Kili's head lay in his lap and he felt momentarily like everything would be all right. He raised his hand to gently touch and smooth down Kili's wild, dark hair. "It seems as if all I can do is make you uncomfortable. I'm so sorry."

He leaned forward, cupping Kili's cheek with one hand, thumb ever so softly moving over the younger man's split lip. Fili leaned in and buried his face softly in Kili's neck, just under his ear. He lay a soft kiss there, hoping to get the younger man to relax.

Kili didn't. His frame trembled with something that was no longer anger. Even a stranger could tell he was running on fear. "Don't prolong it," he whispered. "Just do it. The sooner we're out of here." He didn't want to stay with these people a minute longer. Their cruelty got worse by the day.

There was no _making this good_ for Kili, Fili came to the realization. There was only _getting it over with_. Fili wanted to hold him and try to chase away his fear, try to make him feel something other than apprehension towards him.

"For our freedom, then," Fili smiled softly, and slotted his mouth over Kili's, being careful not to put too much pressure on his injuries. His arm crept on its own accord around Kili's waist and the other hand sought out his hair.

For a while Kili's lips remained pressed together. He hated it, hated _them_ , but most of all, he hated himself. And Fili was being so gentle with him.

Fili was in a relationship with his uncle, he reminded himself. What a travesty.

They weren't going anywhere if he shut himself off like this. So reluctantly his lips relaxed and moved. When they did, he could forget for a moment what was happening. There was no Thranduil. There was no Thorin, about to condemn him for something Fili would just laugh off—Kili didn't know which he was going to have a harder time coping with. There was none of that.

When Kili gave in and tongue met with tongue in that sweet pressure that dictated the intimacy, he nearly whimpered, inhaled deeply, and pulled Fili closer. And it was beautiful, so beautiful. 

Fili felt it, the second Kili gave himself over. Time stood still in that perfect moment, lips moving against lips in a nearly demanding way, until the need for oxygen forced Fili to pull away reluctantly. When he did, he knew Kili had felt his arousal. It was the situation, the brush with death. It had made them both desperate. Of course, that was it.

Fili didn't say anything else to his captors, just took Kili by the hand and pulled him towards the tray of still steaming food. "We should eat," he told him.

But Kili wouldn't meet his eyes. By the look of his lips, the way he breathed and the daze in his eyes, he was not there. "I'm not hungry." More firmly, Kili looked up to Thranduil. Anything for distraction. "Let me go."

Thranduil inclined his head. On his command, one man stepped forward, opened the door and approached Kili, who nonetheless struggled when his hands were bound behind his back and a burlap sack pushed over his head. Easily was he tossed over the man's shoulder, who looked at Fili in passing and then carried him out.

Fili shot to his feet. "There's no need to hurt him!" he cried. "We did what you wanted. He's terrified from all you've done to him already!" he turned to Thranduil. "Don't hurt him anymore...please."

"I wasn't going to." Thranduil’s eyes followed Kili as he was carried out of sight. "Nonetheless, we prefer it if you didn't know how to get here. Your own return, when you choose to take me up on it, will be equally obscured, but as long as you give us no reason to hurt you, I assure you, my men will not."

"But..." Fili's eyes were wide, "I thought the kiss bought our freedom. Am I not being released as well?"

"You're the one still eating."

"Thank you very much for the food," Fili told Thranduil apologetically. "I'm sure it's very delicious. But, I'd like, very much, to go as well, if I may."

At his command, the other man stepped forward as well. He gestured for him to turn around, tied his hands, and put the bag over his head. Clearly the material had been soaked in something, for Fili felt himself grow weak almost instantly. His legs gave way before his eyes fell shut into a deep slumber.

When he came to, it was the middle of the day, and he found himself in the very clearing where he had been abducted while traveling with Bilbo and Ori, several days back. Kili was nowhere to be seen when he sat up weakly.

_He didn't wait for me._

"Kili?" Fili cried out hoarsely, then cleared his throat and tried again, louder. 

Not a sound. Kili wasn't here. 

Fili got to his feet and tried to get his bearings. It took him a moment to determine which way to go. If he was lucky, he would arrive by nightfall. He was exhausted, but his steps were eager as he made his way back to camp, hoping to run into Kili on the way.

It took him all of the day to get back to known terrain in the oppressive heat, dizzy and disoriented from whatever sedative he had been given, and when darkness fell, he had just made it to the lagoon, where he was finally able to slake his thirst. Already the nightcrawlers were coming out of their daily dwellings, crickets breaking out into their soothing, eerie song. There was never a trace from Kili, nor was there until he finally made it back to the beach at a time when everyone else was fast asleep, bar Dwalin, who was on watch duty.

"Hold," Dwalin spoke threateningly at the black shape at the edge of the jungle and rose to meet him. "State your name."

"M-Mr. Dwalin? Help me," a quiet, familiar voice reached him. "It's Fili. Fili Disson." Fili’s legs trembled, no longer wanting to support him.

Fili's eyes closed to Dwalin rushing towards him. "Fili?" he exclaimed, loud enough to wake some of the others. "Fili, is th—"

But Fili was unconscious before he hit the ground.


	11. A Fierce Kitten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunions, confessions, rejections.

"—ou awake?" Fili knew that voice, although it sounded as if were echoing down a long tunnel. "Fili? Are you—"

"Give him some space, Thorin,"—Balin's voice—"We don't know what he's been through. He could need his rest."

"I know. I know. It's hard, to have him back and have no idea—"

Fili closed his hand around the one holding his. "Thorin?" he asked hoarsely as his head cleared. "Where is Kili?"

"Fili? Oh god." A silence. "I thought I'd lost you forever."

Balin cleared his throat. "I should—" and he pointed behind him, turned, and scampered off.

"Kili, he's...Ori says he talked to him this morning, but none of the others have seen him. Ori says Kili won't come out. What happened out there? Were you in the same place?"

"He's _back?_ Oh, thank god," he closed his eyes and a small tear escaped. "Yes, we were together. A man named Thranduil had us."

Fili preceded to tell Thorin everything Thranduil had shared about the island that he could still remember. "Did you know?" He asked Thorin point-blank when he finished. "Did you know you were sending them here and that they wouldn't be able to get off the island?"

Thorin hesitated. "There were tales. None of the people from neighboring islands dared venture this way. That meant we could make no profit. But I never suspected...I never expected those stories to be based on truth. A haunted island, it sounded ridiculous to me at the time. Thranduil? Are you sure it was him?"

"You were _warned_ about this place? And you didn't investigate the claims?" Fili sat up. "I bet you wish you had now, don't you? Do you have any idea what they put Kili through out there?"

"They were _stories._ " Thorin defended himself sharply, but with a sympathy strung throughout his words. "Would you have believed them? We had good information that the location was rich in alloys, minerals. We just couldn't get the locals to work with us. That made it without value to us, but not to anyone who did have the resources to excavate. Would you have truly not thought the same? These regions are rife with superstition." Thorin looked to the edge of the forest and a sad look came upon him. "I don't know. Kili won't talk to us. He appeared in front of Ori to let us know he's fine, but he is somewhere out there and he refuses to come. From that kind of behavior, it's not hard to figure out that he's been through hell, but he won't let us in."

Fili was quiet for a moment. "They burned him," he told Thorin, "and beat him, starved him. All because he's your next of kin. All because they think you're to blame for them being stuck here. And it turns out...you are." He closed his eyes as the ocean breeze took away the last of his dizziness. "I defended you like a love-struck fool, too," he smiled bitterly. "I told them that the Thorin I know wouldn't do that. Wouldn't endanger peoples' lives—even for money. I know it was a difficult time for you, Thorin. I _know_ that," he lay a hand on his arm. "But, my god. We are _stuck_ here now too."

At a distance, Balin carefully avoided them, as he probably read off Thorin's face exactly how far away he had to stay. Because Thorin looked confused, and hurt, and those weren't good qualities for him, for they often made him lash out. "They hurt him because he's my family? Why would they—who would _do_ that? Anyone can see he doesn't want to be, so why—?" Images were rushing through him, of Kili being beaten, being _burned_ , and the look on his face when he did. Stubborn, probably. Kili was stubborn to a fault. It only pained Thorin more.

It wasn't smart to mix that helplessness with Fili's confrontation. "I wouldn't. Not for money. But anyone who did this to you and Kili deserves every bit of it. If I catch them, Fili, and I will, they will rue the day they hurt you. We'll find a way off this island. I refuse to believe there's no other way."

Fili simply didn't know what to say to him. How long would Thorin and Thranduil stop throwing blame at each other before they both realized it did no good? They were all trapped here regardless.

Ori entered camp just then, and Fili was dreadfully glad for it. "Hey," he smiled, reaching for his friend. "I want to go find Kili and see if he's all right. After a bath," he amended. "I really need a bath. Will you go with me?"

Ori glanced uneasily between the storm that was Thorin and his best friend, and nodded with care. "Uh, sure. If you could just, uh, walk with me?" He knew Thorin didn't want Fili to go and it made him shift uneasily in his place. "I can't promise you we'll find him, since he found me and not the other way around, but we can try, right?"

More carefully Ori turned his back on Thorin and walked with Fili, glancing over his shoulder ever so often. "That did not look good."

"It wasn't," Fili said softly. He pulled some clean clothing from his suitcase, and offered no more explanation to Ori. He waited until they were in the jungle proper and out of sight of camp before he allowed the tears he’d been holding back to fall. "I..." he began. "Just, will you come with me? I'm so filthy from the mud hole they were keeping me in," he looked helplessly down at himself. "And I'm really worried about Kili."

Fili never cried back home. To think that Thorin had pushed him there made Ori's heart ache. He gently wrapped his arms around Fili and pulled him in for comfort. "What happened out there, Fee? We all thought you were dead. God, I'm so glad to see you again, but something happened when you were gone, I can see it has. Kili wouldn't talk to me. He just ordered me to let everyone know he was all right, and that was that. Come on, keep walking. The faster we will get you to the lake."

They walked in silence, Fili clinging to Ori's hand. When they reached the water, he stripped off his clothes as if in a trance and slipped into the cool water. It wasn't until after he'd cleaned his body and his hair that he told Ori, cryptically, "This island, it's cursed. And now, so are we."

"You're still alive," smiled Ori uneasily. "I don't consider that a curse but a blessing. Ignore Thorin if he doesn't know how to value that." He took in a deep breath. "You're still tense. Turn around." He usually offered Fili a shoulder massage if he was having a particularly bad day. Modest as Ori felt about it, he knew Fili always appreciated it.

Fili shook his head. "No, Ori. I—I appreciate you. I love you, I do," he clarified, "but I don't want to go where that might take us. Not now. Kili first?" he asked. "I can wait. I'm good at waiting," he assured him.

Ori pulled his hands away. "It's just a back rub," he mumbled. He didn't mean anything by it. In silence they continued their bath until they both decided they could not get any cleaner from the lagoon water.

Dressing quickly, Ori walked to the area Kili had always frequented before his capture. He took Fili through the familiar location where Kili had started on a ladder, then past one of the coconut harvest sites, until they stopped in a small clearing a little further away.

"This was where he talked to me this morning," Ori said.

It was empty.

Fili turned in a slow circle, studying every inch of the place. "Kili?" he called out finally. "I’m back, too. Just thought you might want to know!"

Silence greeted him.

"...or not," he muttered, gaze dropping. "Ori," he turned to his friend, "I'm going to stay out here a bit, see if he comes back, if you don't mind. He had a rough go of it out there. He might need to talk."

"Oh, I don't mind at all." And Ori sat down next to him with a smile.

Fili had meant _alone_ , but he didn't have the heart to hurt Ori again. There was way too much hurt going around. He was just concerned that Kili might not come back at all.

"The person in charge out there," Fili told Ori, "he confirmed everything Thorin told us the night Kili went missing. He _is_ the guy Thorin dealt with back then. They were gemologists, sent here to mine the island. Apparently, it's rife with precious minerals and gems of some sort. Neither of them went into specifics," he waved his hand. "But the bad news is, it's a literal communication black hole here. They have been on the island for eight years, Ori," he broke the news. "We just might be here that long too."

"Eight years?" Ori visibly needed time to process that. "But what if we joined forces? Eight years is a long time, who knows what could happen? Are they as creepy as they look?" He shuddered. "I can't imagine you having been among them for days. God, they creep me out, with their long white hair and pale skin. Wait, you're saying, you guys were caught because of Thorin?"

Fili nodded, "They felt he was to blame for them being here. That he knew about the problems this island had and didn't tell them before sending them here. And, it turns out, they were telling the truth. He was warned, and he didn't follow up. He'd just got done telling me that before I asked you to come here with me." Fili looked away sadly. "It was right after his father died. He just wanted to get it over with. But...still," he sighed. "What are we supposed to do with that knowledge, Ori?"

Ori fell back against a softer patch of jungle where he knew there wouldn't be ants. He thought about that. There wasn't much that could be done with that information, except that it obviously seemed a breach of trust between Fili and Thorin. Maybe that would be good for him, but right now he couldn't put his hopes on that.

Movement flitted out of his periphery above them. Ori blinked and sat up. 

"What do _you_ want?" Kili asked from up in a tree.

Fili made a visor of his hand and looked, squinting up at him even though it was dark outside. "Hey," he said casually. "I'm here. I’m alive. Just letting you know."

Kili had expected things along the lines of how _he_ was— _feeling pretty bad_ —or what had happened— _don't want to talk about it_. He visibly had not expected a casual remark like that.

"...That's good," he tried tentatively. "All in one piece?"

"Last I checked," Fili commented. "How are you?"

Kili shrugged, still on his guard. "The same, I guess. You were looking for me?"

Ori smiled up. "Come down. I missed you."

Finally, someone said the right words. Kili smiled. "I missed you too, Ori. I thought they weren't going to let us go. It made me sad I wouldn't get to see you guys again."

Ori got up as Kili reached the bottom branches and helped him to the ground, even though Kili didn't really need it. He threw his arms around him and hugged him. "I, for one, am so glad you two are back. Leaving me here with all these stodgy old men was just dreadful."

Fili smiled at the two of them, again coming to the realization that he didn't know what to say to Kili...ever.

"Sounds like a fantasy of mine," Fili said with a grin, raising his eyebrows lasciviously. 

"Oh, _god_ ," Kili scowled at once. "Shouldn't you be having fantasies about other people?" Ori with a bunch of stodgy old men was just terrible.

Ori didn't mind that, especially if Dwalin was among them, and shrugged in a noncommittal manner.

"You really should lighten up a bit, Kili," the blond told him, putting a gentle hand on his arm. "And I happy to see you, too, you know. I got scared when they separated us again," he admitted.

Kili was being serious. Fili had chosen Thorin. Making jokes about fantasies about the one person he was not supposed to have fantasies about was slightly inappropriate, and certainly rubbing him the wrong way. On the other hand, he thought to himself that if it was just talk, he could live with that.

"You're here though. So am I. Let's not get caught again, okay?"

Ori fiddled with his shirt. "So guys, it kinda sounds like they _let_ you go."

"They did," Fili exchanged a look with Kili, allowing him to make the decision to talk about the act that had bought their freedom, if he wanted to. "But not after poor Kili here got pretty roughed up."

Again Kili looked away. _Poor Kili?_ "I don't need your sympathy." He knew that what he was doing wasn't going to bring him much joy in the near future. For now though, it felt natural to push Fili away. It certainly beat having to talk about what they had had to do in order to buy their way out. Kili could still feel the pressure of lips against his own. It was both tantalizing and impossible.

Solely to Ori, he continued. "They did let us go. We were just as surprised, but I'm glad to be out of that hell-hole. I think they've got a plan for us though. At least they're not all bad."

Fili tried not to let either of them see how much Kili's dismissal had hurt him. "I think," he told them, "I'd like to get some sleep." He smiled softly at Ori, but couldn't meet Kili's eyes. "I'm glad you're okay, Kili," he told the other man. "I wouldn't have been able to rest until I found out you were. Goodnight." He picked up his dirty clothing and left for the beach without another word. When he arrived back at the campfire's circle, he returned to Thorin's side. Thorin was only human, despite what he might have wanted others to think. They had all made mistakes in their lives. Surely Thorin was feeling a great deal of guilt and pain right now. Fili wasn't going to add to that.

"I'm sorry I freaked out," Fili told him, spreading out his blanket next to Thorin. "The last three days were... rough. But they let us go, Thorin. I think that's a sign they're ready to begin talking...at least, I hope so."

"You believe so?" Thorin sounded worn and yet, hopeful. "I knew what had happened to Thranduil's business, how it all fell apart after that deal was made. Yet I hoped, I truly hoped it wasn't because of this, that the island's tales were just silly superstition. And then he disappeared as well. We all thought he was dead. If what you say is true, the island has nurtured his grudge against me. To do those things to Kili...the Thranduil I knew would not have done that. He was a kind business partner." He tentatively reached out a hand between them. "Are _you_ okay? You said Kili was hurt, but you never mentioned yourself."

"They didn’t hurt me," Fili disclosed, and didn't divulge further. He snuggled closer to Thorin on the soft sand, laying his head on the older man's shoulder and wrapping an arm around his waist.

"They have boats," he whispered, just as he was dozing off.

\- - - - -

"Ori?" Kili had been staring at the canopy and the starlight filtering through the leaves for minutes without speaking. Next to him, Ori had stuck around. "How is Fili when he's around you? Was it too much, what I said?"

"What do you mean 'how is he?'" the redhead asked. "He's glad to be back from that camp, happy to be alive. Deliriously happy that you're both free. Why do you speak to him like you do?" Ori ventured. "It obviously hurts him. You know, he's been championing you all along. Saying we should include you, get to know you better. Has he done something that's upset you?"

Kili felt bad, the moment Ori said that. He thought about that question for awhile. Had Fili done something wrong? He only talked about Thorin because he was on his mind so much, and he obviously hadn't shared their cause for being released from those cages with anyone. Sure, he had been stringing Ori along before making up his mind. And those two specific words had certainly rubbed Kili the wrong way. _Poor him._

But it was Kili's opinion that twisted it into something wrong. Fili hadn't done any of those things on purpose.

It only made Kili feel worse.

"I don't know," he whispered. "It's like everything he does bothers me somehow, but he's a good person. Maybe that is what upsets me. He never gets angry. He's too easy to like."

"That's funny," Ori smiled. "He said the same thing about you, Kili." Ori shrugged. "Well, I suppose it's only naturally for you two to be rivals."

"You mean for Thorin?" Kili shook his head. "No, Fili has won that one." Just like—no, he wasn't going to go there. "I'm glad you're here. When I got out of that cage, I didn't feel like seeing anyone. Everyone would only ask me questions I didn't want to answer. You haven't. It's almost like I never left."

Kili breathed out.

"Did anything happen while we were gone?"

"Nothing to speak of," Ori told him. "You were in _cages?_ My god, that's horrible. And...of course, I meant professional rivals, you and Fili. You're both very good looking, fast tracked guys. Roughly the same age. At the very least, you could fight over me. That might be fun."

"They were big cages," Kili quickly divulged. "I think they were built for tigers or lions." He grinned. "I'm so glad he won't hear me say it, but there were times I thought Fili fit right in whenever he was pacing his cage. Don't tell him that."

But Kili's expression soon failed. "Ori," he started. "I kind of...confronted Fili about him being with Thorin and still doing things with you. I'm really sorry. I was angry and it just came out."

"Please don't scold him about what he did with me," Ori frowned. "I enjoyed every minute of it, for what it was. I think, with Fili," he told the brunet, "he's much more kitten than lion. A very fierce kitten, even so." Ori's face looked so tender as he spoke of his friend. "And much like a cat. Whatever he decides, I'm sure he'll land on his feet."

Under the green roof of the jungle, Kili laughed. "A fierce kitten, yes! Oh, thanks for that visual. But yeah, he'll land on his feet. I just, well, I expect you don't mind him occasionally coming to you for," Kili cleared his throat, "those things. But Thorin would, and he's still my uncle. Besides, you deserve more than being a second choice. I overstepped my bounds though, and I owe you an apology for that."

"Think nothing of it," Ori smiled, wistfully. "I am curious, though. Had it been _you_ he decided to kiss, down by the lagoon...what would you have done?"

Kili chuckled. "Fair enough. I do occasionally have a good time with Dwalin without either of us reading into it for more. Lawless Kili. I actually do have a code. While I understand why you did go through with it, I will never willingly kiss a man whose heart is spoken for. Especially," he nudged Ori in what he hoped was a playful manner but was only meant to conceal a sadness inside, "when there are two people already vying for his attention. That would put me third in line, and that would just be setting myself up for heartbreak. If Fili wanted to kiss me, I would have told him no."

Perhaps that was why he was so unsuccessful in finding love, himself.

"Well," Ori raised his eyebrows in surprise, "forgive me for saying so...but I don't one hundred percent believe you, Kili. I think," he grew serious, "that you _like_ him. Fili, I mean. I've always been really good at reading people. You like him. Am I wrong?"

Kili's hands traced circles in the soil. He thought back to the kiss, and something clenched inside him.

"No, you're good at reading me." Kili turned his head away. "But I still have a code. If I allowed myself to go there and hope, it would only hurt. And I'd still tell him no. Don't tell him, please. He's got enough on his mind without adding this to it."

"Hey," Ori patted him on the back, "what happens on the island stays on the island, right? There's no reason you shouldn't throw your hat in the ring. You're a heck of a lot more fun—and better looking—than your stodgy old uncle."

Ori could tell that that was an unexpected thing to say, because Kili quirked his eyebrows and looked at him. Then he laughed and shook his head. "No way. I can't believe you're trying to talk me into this. Isn't that only more competition? Besides, you and Thorin love him. I made no such claims."

Tilting his head to the side as if considering the competition, Ori concluded, "Jesus, Kili, you don't _have_ to admit it. It's obvious. Maybe to everyone but Fili. So, mission accomplished on that front," he chuckled. "Besides," he shrugged, "I am not without other...prospects," he told his friend.

"I don't though. Love him." He didn't. He wanted Fili a little more than just physically, true, but Kili wasn't interested in falling hard for a man who was just not going to happen. Besides, if Thorin ever found out, there was going to be hell to pay. "And wait a minute, how is it obvious?" Most of that want was kindled by their time in the cages; Kili had hardly seen anyone since that time. "Besides, what other prospects? Ori, what have you been up to?"

"Nothing important," Ori deflected Kili's question. "Nothing as important as what we're talking about right here, right now. Listen, Kili," he put a warm hand on his arm, "if anything, the events of the past few weeks has taught me that life is short. We have to learn live without so many regrets. Right now, I would really regret letting you walk away without...well, without trying to kiss you." He raised one hand to caress Kili's face, using a feather touch with the backs of his fingers. "You are so beautiful, Kili."

But Kili looked back at him with confusion. "Ori?" he asked, his eyes searching his friend's. "What are you doing?"

Didn't Ori just listen to a word he said?

Kili scrambled back to put more distance between them. He hated the look on Ori's face then and knew he was the one responsible. Everything good seemed to be coming to an end these days. "Ori, no. You want Fili."

"So do you, Kili," Ori reminded him. "No matter how much you try to deny it. There's absolutely no reason why the two of can't go down to that lagoon and do something to take both our minds off of him for awhile," he smiled crookedly. "Kili, I wouldn't hurt you. We wouldn’t have to make any promises. It would just be...fun."

It wasn't fun to Kili though. He got up to his feet and shook his head. "I'm not his replacement. You want him, and I'm not going to be a convenient substitute. I'm sorry, Ori. I have to go." And off he ran, deeper into the jungle where Ori could not follow. That was one of the more convenient sides of knowing your way around the woods, Kili thought bitterly to himself. Just because he fooled around with Dwalin didn't mean he was just available to anyone who asked. But it was exactly what everyone else around him always seemed to think.

As soon as he reached the familiar roots that led to the narrow river underneath the mangrove that brought him to that secret clearing nobody else knew about, Kili made a resolution to himself… he could live on his own just fine for a couple of days.

To say Ori was disappointed was an understatement. He had thought that, just maybe, Kili would consider him worth the time. He had always tried to convey to Kili how much he enjoyed his company, but he supposed it always came down to the same old thing...Ori just wasn't handsome enough. He never would be. Fili's attentions had given him confidence, but obviously it was misplaced.

Ori was beginning to understand why Thorin was always so irritated with his nephew. That irritation was contagious.

Returning to camp to find Fili wrapped sleeping in Thorin's arms didn't help either. Sleep would be a long time in coming for Ori. Thankfully, he enjoyed watching the play of the moonlight on the surf as it rolled over the sand.

\- - - - - 

In the morning, Ori decided to get out the nets and fish up a sizable catch. If they were going to be there eight years, or perhaps forever, he'd better get good at it. The water lapped at his feet as he looked around for prey. They had soon learned which fish tasted horrible and which were good, here on the island, but it was never a nice thing to take a life just for the sake of a growling stomach.

"Here," a voice he didn't frequently hear directed at him, said. "You might want to try and hold your nets differently. Like so." Dori illustrated how he wrapped all of it into a neat bundle, took hold of two of the far ends, and threw it out over the calm sea. "If you use the weights against the wind, you'll cover more ground. Thought you'd give it a go, eh? It's really quite calming, once you get the hang of it."

"Calming," Ori repeated. "I could go for that about now." 

He and the older man spent a good two hours fishing and managed to bring in enough fish to feed the group for several days.

"You were right," he told Dori as they returned to camp with their haul. "I do feel much better. Thank you, Dori."

Fili smiled as Ori entered his field of vision. "The mighty hunter returns," he commented with affection, not sarcasm. "I think I should probably head out to the berry patches today. I imagine since Kili and I were gone, they were neglected. Do you want to come along...or do you have fish gutting duty?" he asked the redhead.

"I'm not a big fan of guts." Ori always got squeamish when he saw the wiry, gooey mess drop partly out and then be scooped fully out by bare hands. The thought made him nauseous just by thinking about it. "So don't mind if I do." He took a look at Thorin, who was unaware of their discussion and appeared to be disagreeing with Bilbo on something, with Dwalin in the middle. Thorin's usefulness on the island wasn't much, but people still treated him like he ran it all. He still looked like he did. Perhaps someone just had to drag him into the jungle, force him to wear something else than those ruined suit pants like a memory of a glory past and force him to hunt.

Ori tagged along until they reached one of the smaller fresh water lakes. The bushes looked like they could use some attention, after the storm seemed to have wiped half of them out. "Oh, no," he sighed and walked up to them. "Fili? I think we need to pick everything before the berries go bad. Most of these bushes haven't survived."

"This is one of those times I really wish we had the internet," Fili sadly surveyed their makeshift crop. "My mother used to garden, but not fruit plants. I wonder if we could replant those that fell over. Maybe closer to camp? Do you think that might work?" He knelt and held one of the sad little bushes upright.

Ori sat down next to him. Well, wasn't this the week of bad news? "Maybe. It's worth a try, but I think we'd better pick the ripe ones anyway. I thought they could handle some rain, you know. Here, hand me the bag. I'll start picking if you try and see what you can do about salvaging them. But I don't think salt water will be very good for them."

Fili studied the plant. "Our friends on the other side of the island don't seem to be starving at all. They have warm food. Rice, chicken. They _must_ be farming," he looked off into the distance. "There has to be a way we can work together. This is crazy."

He picked up the ladies shirt they'd come to start using as a makeshift bucket. "Well, we'd better get to picking. And I'd rather not be working together with them. They're terrifying. Especially with what they did to you and Kili." Ori started picking and pocketing the blackberries. Only after a while he thought out loud, "I wonder if blackberries are even supposed to grow around here. You never see 'blackberries from the Caribbean' in the supermarket." With a slightly more derisive tone, he added, "Kili probably knows. Too bad he's busy not making a contribution."

"Who knows _what_ Kili's up to out there? He has a lot of hidden talents," Fili said, with a hint of sadness. "Knowing him, he'll come home with more berries than either of us. Too bad he can't make ice. I'd love some ice."

Ori frowned. Fili was probably right, too. Well, he wasn't going to let Kili ruin his day further. "Probably just doing nothing. I don't think the others have ice either. If they do, I think I might reconsider working with them, but you'd need electricity for that, and lots of it. How do you reckon winter will be, this close to the equator?"

Fili smiled, "I think this _is_ winter here," he chuckled. "Seriously, I doubt it'll change much. But truly, if those people on the other side of the island have been here so long, where are they getting clothing? What they were wearing...it all looked next to new. This place," he lamented, "it's starting to mess with my mind, I think."

"Oh. Maybe they have cotton plantations on this island? Maybe they have an entire settlement. We don't know how big the island is. It could be really big, with our beach just a small part of it." Ori looked around. "Still, we shouldn't get too close. I don't like their presence one bit." A berry broke in his hand and the dark juice stained it. After so many days in the wilderness, the tendency to clean himself up had eased up. He looked up wistfully. "What do you miss the most about home?"

"Well," Fili considered, "aside from my mother, I guess I miss the little stuff. The conveniences we take for granted. Turning on a tap and having hot water come out. Opening a refrigerator and making a sandwich. Going online to get the answer to, well, almost anything," he popped a berry into his mouth. "How wonderful all that is. I'll never fail to appreciate it again. What about you, Ori?"

Ori nodded empathically as he took Fili's example and tasted one of the berries as well. "Privacy, I suppose," he said. "And a good book. There's no distraction here. Whatever I do, everyone finds out about it in a matter of days. I suppose that's refreshing to some, but I'd give a full day's worth of food to just sit somewhere on my own with a book, cold ice cream and a beer. Oh," he sighed, "that would be wonderful. Sometimes, it would be really nice not to see some people for a few days, you know?"

Fili nodded. "Yeah, I know. Seems pretty overwhelming, living under a magnifying glass like we do. You know, I did find a couple of books in the luggage, if you want to read one."

Ori looked up and suddenly gave Fili's arm a playful punch. "You're telling me this _now_?" he laughed. "What's wrong with you? You mean I could have been reading a good book every time I had to sit through another one of Thorin's conflicts with Bilbo? I can't believe you!"

"I was saving them, until you really needed them," Fili explained, with an impish half-smile.

"You," Ori shoved him harder, "are so evil, oh my god. Well, I need them now. Bring them to me. Which ones have you got? Please tell me there's some quality among them."

"I'm sorry, Ori," Fili continued to smile. "If I would have given them to you earlier, you'd have just shut yourself off from everyone. As it is, you've made some friends, haven't you? And look, you've even gotten a tan," he brushed some straggly hair from Ori's forehead. "They're quite trashy, those books. Came from the ladies’ luggage. I believe one of them is _Fifty Shades of Grey_."

All at once Ori flustered. "Yes, because that's what we need in a jungle, books about sex," he said rather crisply, though he hoped it came across as comical. "Oh, all right, hand them over, because you know I'll eventually get desperate enough that I'll read it anyway. Might as well get the embarrassment over with at once. Are they still in the plane?"

He looked at his hands. They were quite tanned, actually. Back in England, he had never been able to acquire much of a tint of anything other than lobster red. He was glad they'd decided to cut back on time in the sun from the first day on. It wasn't until then that he noticed Fili had begun to get a tan as well, and he grinned. "You're going to look like a surfer soon. Sun-bleached hair, pearly white teeth and a tan. That'll be you."

"And the Malibu Ken look is completed by the sand in my ass crack," Fili shifted uncomfortably. "Man, it's annoying, isn't it?" he chuckled. "The dirty books are back at my bed roll," he told Ori. "Maybe we could read them to each other? That could be fun. Or just read them 'round the campfire? If it helps balance things out," Fili picked up his sack of berries from the earth, "I also found a Bible. Oh, and someone brought along their employee training manual. I know that's something you've never read," Fili smiled. 

Ori squeezed two of the berries in his hand to a pulp and threw them at Fili. "Like you have!" He was laughing along as he quickly pocketed the other berries, lest they'd be used in the same way. There were times that gave him hope, that made everything seem a bit better. It had been awhile since he'd been able to laugh with Fili without it inadvertently returning to that famous main topic of Thorin.

"I missed you," he said honestly when the last bouts of laughter hiccoughed their way through his system. "Sometimes I have no idea what I'd do without you."

"You will never be without me," Fili smiled, wiping the glob of berry sludge from his hair. He reached for Ori's hand. "I promise you that, Ori," he assured him.

"I know." Ori reached up to pick a last black piece of berry peel from Fili's hair. "Come what may, right? Thanks for just, you know, being you. And being here. It's good to always have someone on my side. You know I'll always be there for you the same way."

"I do know," Fili told him. "I knew when I was taken that, one way or another, help would come. I knew you wouldn't let them rest until I was found. I was so scared, Ori," he admitted, squeezing his hand harder in an attempt not to cry again. "And yet, I feel like we need those people...need their help in order to survive."

Ori shook his head, leaned closer and pulled Fili into a hug. "No we don't, not while they want to hurt us. All I need right now is for you to be here. We can do anything if we put our minds to it. We've got an island that's said to be filled with ore and we work for one of the world's best mining companies. We'll figure out a way."

Once it was out of his mouth, Ori realized that it wasn't such a bad idea at all. Thorin had sold this island. If he remembered where it was said to contain ore, and if they could temper that somehow, they could at once evolve out of this stone age.

"Well then," Fili rubbed Ori's back, holding him tighter, "maybe it's them who needs us. They don't have your brilliant mind over there, now do they?"

"I'm administration," Ori reminded him kindly. "You though, or Thorin... and I think Bilbo is worth more than he looks like. He's crafty." They could use Kili for the lay of the land, but Ori still felt bitter about pushing him forward. "Gloin is mean with an axe, and Gandalf can make a fire out of anything."

Fili sighed. "Oh, Ori," he smiled sadly. "So hard on yourself. We have _got_ to do something about that. About your dreadful lack of self-esteem," he sat back and appraised his friend. "Have you considered—? Ah, never mind, that's a bad idea."

"What is?" Oh, Fili knew Ori had a curiosity to match the moon.

"I think, well, I _know_ that nothing is better for self-esteem than having someone find you attractive. I think you need to get laid, my friend," he smiled. "I was going to suggest you follow your dream and make a pass at Mr. Dwalin. He seems to be quite fond of you, you know."

"He also seems to be quite fond of Kili." There was something both comforting about a good friend giving advice and slightly stinging about someone he loved telling him to try his luck with someone else. Besides, he had been there and it had gotten him nowhere. Not that Kili was Dwalin, but the rejection had not exactly boosted his confidence. And could the man for once stop running away? "I don't think he's fond of me that way. But, well, you see, _we've_ done things already. Maybe if it's—" Ori looked away, "—you?"

"I've been an awful person, Ori," Fili told him. "Leading you on. I can't bear to do it anymore. Your respect is far too important to me. You were wonderful. More than wonderful. And so full of passion. You deserve to be with someone who can dedicate himself fully to you. Don't you agree?"

"I..." Ori looked lost. "You know I accept your relationship with Thorin. You wouldn't be stringing me on if you and him aren't exclusive, and he's yet to make the announcement. I wouldn't mind." Fili would be the second person that day to turn him down, and for nearly the same reasons. A boost to his confidence. Sure.

"It hurts to hear you say that, Ori," Fili said sadly. "That you are willing to settle like that. I cannot promise myself to you," he told him. "I wish I could. I wish it were that simple, because I would. I trust you more than anyone with my heart...and with my body," he slipped his hand around Ori's waist and into the small of his back. "I love you," lay a soft kiss to Ori's forehead. 

The kind, sympathetic gesture brought tears to Ori's eyes. "I'm willing to settle." He wiped angrily at his nose. "Of course I'm willing to settle. Nobody wants me the way you say someone should. And Mr. Dwalin is too busy fucking Kili to even notice me." He didn't care that he knew of only one occasion where they had. "There's always someone better than me."

"Ori, oh, no," Fili wiped tears from his friend's face with both thumbs and tried to soothe him. "If we," he whispered, "if we _do_ this, it needs to be somewhere private. I don't want to be spied on. How about, we walk around the cape to that little alcove where we sat on the beach that first day?" He reached for Ori's hand. "I'll get a blanket. You get a couple of bottles of water. We can meet there in... an hour?" Fili suggested.

Ori quietly nodded. "But not out of pity...right?" Oh, who was he kidding? He'd take this chance even if it was a pity fuck. The chances he could still do this with Fili were numbered and soon, he was going to regret it if he didn't do this now.

But he needed to know. "Are you and Thorin still, um, complicated?"

"Don't want to talk about it," Fili kissed Ori softly on the mouth, then deepened the kiss, fisting his shirt. "Our spot. An hour. Come alone, please," he insisted, then left, taking his harvest with him.

That told Ori enough. _Still complicated._ He couldn't help it, it made him feel hopeful.

Maybe not all was lost.


	12. The Stuff That Ruins Friendships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori and Fili meet for a tryst. Thorin and Kili make amends. The folks from the other side of the island grow bold. The survivors grow bolder.

It proved difficult for Ori to avoid everyone for nearly an hour, and that was on top of actually determining how long an hour lasted. His phone had long given its final breath in terms of power and he didn't own a watch to tell time. Ori made a mental note to make a sundial after his plans. He was left to watch the location of the sun, and that wasn't an easy task.

When he finally got away, he didn't directly walk into the direction of the alcove. Anyone looking for him would go there. Instead he took the long route through the jungle and eventually rounded back to the beach when he was out of everyone's sight, his heart thundering. They were going to do this. Ori smiled to himself. He couldn't help it; that knowledge, combined with the tension of nobody being able to find out, was turning him on.

When he reached the alcove, he was the first one there. Carefully he sat himself down and looked around, waiting for his best friend.

A few minutes later, Fili appeared from behind the corner of the rocky wall, carrying a brown airplane blanket folded under his arm. When he saw Ori, he smiled.

"Hey," Ori fidgeted nervously with the hem of his shirt. "I couldn't tell one hour, sorry." He pointed at his watch-less wrists. "I hope I'm not late or much too early. Are you early?"

How had he managed to get them here? How, when he couldn't believe this was happening, himself?

"It's been," Fili looked down at his wrist, "exactly an hour." He smiled. "I was thinking ... why don't we swim first? I'm rather ripe right now ..." He slipped his t-shirt off over his head.

Ori got up gladly. The nerves were killing him, and it'd be nice to get a distraction, not to mention cool down. When he had walked ankle-deep into the ocean, he had to stop because he was still busy undressing. Stumbling along until everything was off, he bundled his clothes in a tight ball and threw them to the beach.

As soon as the water engulfed him, he sighed out and looked around for Fili.

His friend was nowhere to be seen. Ori panicked for all of five seconds, until he felt a pair of hands latch playfully around his ankles and he was gently pulled off his feet and under the waves. Seconds later, Fili surfaced directly in front of him with a _whoosh._

"Hey," he smiled. "Man, I'd kill for some shampoo. It won't be long until we all have dreadlocks. I should cut my hair, I guess."

"No way," Ori was quick to reply, still spluttering from his dip. "I like your hair like this. Do you think dreadlocks would look good on me? It's not really my thing, is it?" He let himself fall backward and into the water, from which he did not emerge. Seconds later, Fili was the one being tugged under water, Ori grinning victoriously. "Eat that."

"Ginger dreadlocks," Fili smiled, smoothing his own hair back from his face, "can you imagine?" he slipped closer to Ori until their naked stomachs were touching one another. Then he put his arms around Ori's waist and simply pulled the man into a hug. "Ori," he began, "I—" Then he just sighed and hugged his friend tightly. "I love you, Ori."

Arms wrapped to hold him there, tentatively. "I love you too, Fee." He closed his eyes and breathed in the familiar scent. Ori knew Fili loved him, but he loved him as a friend—not the way he wanted him to. Was it right to ask this of him? "Are you sure?"

"Sure that I love you ... of course," Fili murmured into his shoulder. "Sure that seeing you so sad is breaking my heart. I want to make it better, I do," he insisted. "But one thing I'm not sure about is if _this_ is the way to go about it."

He pulled away, putting a hand on both of Ori's hips and looked him in the eyes. "There is nothing more painful than being strung along by someone—never having a solid answer about how you fit into their life. You are my friend, Ori. My _best_ friend," Fili assured him. "This stuff right here ... this is the stuff that ruins friendships."

Ori leaned back in the water. He knew that. It was what had been keeping him from grinning non-stop, or hoping that this wouldn't be a problem. He felt like he'd pressured his best friend into doing something he shouldn't be doing. Still, it hurt.

"You know I wouldn't mind," he whispered. Fili would though, and that made all the difference. "Would you have been okay with it if Thorin and you weren't…complicated? It's not fair, you know, for him to come around and just hold all claims on you."

"But Ori," Fili smiled softly. "I _want_ him to. You know that. Yet, I can't help but feel that neither of us is going to get our happy ending. Just," he slipped his hand beneath the water, gripping Ori's cock, "let's get you off. You deserve at least that, don't you?"

Ori was ready to protest—a kiss would be much more welcome than a toss—but as soon as Fili touched him, he knew he couldn't resist. His eyes fluttered shut and he leaned back against his friend. "One last time?" he asked. "If you're going to pick him, it's better if we stop this sooner rather than later."

"One last time," Fili whispered in his ear and kissed down his neck as he slowly, torturously moved to bring Ori off. "I wish I had met you first, Ori," he admitted against his ear, fingers wringing ecstasy from his friend's body in such a sensual but sad way. "You are going to make someone so very happy."

Ori couldn't keep himself back. He cried then, burying his face against Fili's shoulder. "I'd like that." Most of all, it implied that there was someone out there for him. After everything that had happened, he wasn't so sure there was. "And Thorin had better make you happy. If he won't, you can always threaten him there are more fish in the sea." Ori laughed through his tears at the bad pun. "He'd better give you the attention you deserve."

"Stop talking about him," Fili's voice had a slight edge to it. "This is for you, Ori," he reminded his friend. Want you to feel good," he whispered into his ear.

He could tell that at least, physically, it was working. But Ori deserved so much more. As Ori came apart in his arms, they let the steadily pounding surf wash away their sins, and their guilt.

Lips pressed insistently against Fili's neck, desperate to mark and yet, underneath that all, scared of doing so. Although Fili wanted not to talk about it, Ori knew that getting him love bites was only going to unnecessarily complicate things further. And he wanted Thorin to have him, he wanted him to make him happy.

He came with the smallest gasp and dug his fingertips into Fili's back.

"Oh," Ori breathed. "Oh god." He was going to miss this.

Fili supported Ori, keeping his friend from losing his footing and getting washed out to sea.

"I'm a poor substitute," the blond told him, "for the amazing man you are going to end up with. I hope he realizes how lucky _he_ is."

"If I ever find him," Ori said, "you're going to help me get him. I'll probably need all the help I get. Deal?"

"Whatever it takes," Fili assured him, "but no threesomes, okay? Even with Mr. Dwalin." He chuckled. "Well, maybe for Dwalin I'd make an exception."

"I don't think I'd share Mr. Dwalin, if I could get my hands on him." Despite his words, Ori looked positively timid, and grew quieter still. "At least we can rule out Kili. He kind of, um, made it very clear he's got higher standards than me."

"I don't get him," Fili responded sympathetically. "He acts as if he's got some holier than thou morale code, and yet he plans a tryst with Dwalin in a spot where he knew people might walk up and find them. I dunno ... maybe it's all some huge plot to get back at his uncle for something. Screwing Thorin’s friend, that sort of thing. I have officially given up trying to understand Kili, Ori. I think you probably should too," he advised. 

Ori breathed out in relief. "Oh, thank goodness, it's not just me then. I'm getting real tired of the things he keeps doing. Sure, his knowledge is useful, but he doesn't care about everyone else. And that thing about Mr. Dwalin, well, I wouldn't be surprised if you were right."

"I do think he cares," Fili stated his opinion, brushing a tendril of wet hair from Ori's forehead, "but I really think he struggles with how to show it. He's very sweet, sometimes. He's so tender, he can draw confessions out of you you'd never share with anyone else. Then, in the very next moment, he makes you regret it by saying something hurtful. I just ... I don't get it," Fili held onto Ori's hand for balance as a large fish swam between his knees. "I do like him," Fili corrected. "Of course I do. But I struggle to understand him."

Ori looked away. He did get it, of course. Kili was easy to like. Perhaps that was what frustrated him. He just didn't understand. "I did miss him when you two were away. But I don't miss him now that I know he's okay. Things are easier when he's not around."

Fili's thoughts flew back to his time in the cage, especially after Kili had bravely ventured over to join him. He had been so kind, and so forthcoming. "He's a good person," Fili asserted. "I truly believe that. I think he just has trouble expressing himself. Maybe it's because he spent so much time being ignored by Thorin."

That notion had him biting his lip and trying not to cry. 

"It's starting to get chilly out here. Let's go sit on the blanket in the sun."

"Chilly, on the island? Maybe we should come over here more often." Ori smiled at the escape he offered Fili. His thoughts about Thorin were so transparent. "You know, if you ever want to talk about it, I'm right here. Come. If it's warmth you need, it's warmth I can give you." He turned around and waded back to shore. Halfway there, he turned. "Thanks. For, you know."

Fili just smiled softly and followed him out of the water.

It wasn't long before they fell asleep on the blanket.

  
\- - - - 

Kili, as expected, did not show up when they ate their food that night. The catch was plentiful and, without a fridge to store any surplus and the harvested berries on top of that, they had a good meal. Bombur had even managed to create a berry compote of sorts for the occasion. "More for us," many of them had expressed at Kili's absence, and kept only a small portion apart for him, should he be lost or otherwise not away by his own design. 

But when everyone had had their share and the group again split up into smaller groups for stories and other means of passing the hours in which they could not hunt or build, Dwalin pulled Thorin apart to sit with him.

"Thorin," he stated, "I think you need to do something about Kili."

"Oh, do you now?" Thorin's deep voice held a hint of amusement as he rifled through his suitcase. "And what would you have me do, Dwalin? The lad spends half his time being embarrassed by me and the other half avoiding me."

Dwalin sat down and held the suitcase open for his old friend. "In case you hadn't noticed, he's now also avoiding everyone else. First it was only Ori who could talk to him, but Kili seems to have stopped talking to him too. I don't know what that bastard Thranduil did to him, Thorin, but I think it's serious."

Thorin's head shot up at the mention of Thranduil's name. "You don't suppose he ... " but Thorin wouldn't allow himself to finish his thought. Of course not. "I know he put them both through it because of their connection to me," he admitted quietly. One didn't have to be a genius to figure that out. "He doesn't talk to me, Dwalin," Thorin confessed to his closest friend. "He'd never open up to me about something like that. I'm afraid it might be too late for us to ever have a meaningful relationship. I wish I had your ease when speaking with him. He's crazy about you."

"Maybe so, but I'm not the only family he's got left. Come on, friend. Try. You probably don't even need to talk to him. My guess, you'll look like you're talking to nobody." Dwalin smiled wryly. They both knew Kili well enough for that. "But as long as he knows it matters to you that he's not here, that's all you need to do, right? At least you'll have done something. He hasn't talked to me either."

"I wouldn't begin to guess where to find him," Thorin lamented. "To my own shame, I haven't exactly explored the island like he has. But, I can try," he got to his feet. There was still an hour or so of daylight left. He could do this.

He started down the path to the lagoon, calling for Kili every hundred feet or so. He finally reached a spot past the lagoon that he didn't recognize. "Kili?!" he cried one more time, nervous to go much further without getting lost in the dark of the jungle.

A rustle from his right alerted him, but it was from his left that, like a creature born out of the dark of night, a silhouette painted itself.

The voice that followed was less intimidating because it was so familiar. "Thorin? What are you doing here?" Confusion. Everybody knew Thorin did not go into the jungle, and certainly not this far.

"Kili!" Thorin gasped, hand on his chest as if to calm his thudding heart. "You scared me. It's unsettling out here," he concluded. "I wanted to make sure you were all right. Can you talk to me? Will you?"

"You mean you're not lost?" It wasn't meant as a jab and it didn't sound like one, though it could have easily been one. Kili did find it unsettling to find his uncle here, of all places. He gestured towards the lagoon. "I was going for a swim."

"I'm near lost," Thorin admitted. "I was loath to go much further in the dark. I should have gone exploring with you boys more often. I feel ill-equipped out here. I'm not in my element. I could," he looked at the water, "swim with you, if you'd like."

"Eh." Kili looked awkwardly between the water and the older man. "It's really weird to see you out here, did I tell you that yet?" He considered his options, but he had to admit that for Thorin to have come here on his own and not complain about it was a big thing. "All right, come along. You mean you haven't been here before?" Then Thorin's mentioned lake had to have been another. Kili looked up at the moon. "It's one of the best places this island has to offer. Though if you'll go up the volcano, you'd probably find hot springs." Their conversation contained little personal notes, which was why, Kili thought, for once it wasn't hard to talk to his uncle.

"Oh, _here?_ " Thorin looked around warily. "Yes, I've been here. It's where I bathe. I just haven't really gone much further. Although if what Fili tells me is true, I'd better get used to living here," he began unbuttoning his shirt and walked towards the water. "Tell me, did you have a chance to speak to your captors ... when you were in their—" he paused, "—care?"

Over his shoulder, Kili said back, "You don't want to go too deep into the woods, because of them. Though they caught me near camp. Don't tell anyone, it'll only cause fear." He sank into the water, pleasantly cool now.

It took a long time before Kili said more. He wondered if, if he waited, Thorin would pressure him for information. That never happened, so at last he let himself float in the moonlit water and talked as if to himself, "It was not so much talking to as it was listening. You did something they cannot forgive and that Thranduil guy really loves to hear himself talk."

"Mhm, yes," Thorin nodded. "Yes, Fili told me as much. He feels as if it was me who sentenced him and his people to this fate. I'm not convinced he's wrong, to be honest," he confessed. "When my father died, I wanted nothing to do with Durinco. And yet, in his sudden absence, there I was, thrust into making decisions. This business with Thranduil's mining crew ... it was the first decision I made as the new CEO. But I didn't do it due diligence. And, to be fair, no one really trusted me back then. And why should they? I was—and I hope you'll forgive me for saying this—well, I was _you._ A young, handsome Lothario who liked to have fun. I would have rather done anything than run a company."

He stood still in the water as if waiting for baptism.

"To tell the truth, Kili," he said, "I still don't want to."

Kili looked at him—really looked at him. In front of him was a man who looked lost. And although he didn't truly believe that part where Thorin had been like him, suddenly, he felt bad about himself.

"You're not in that world now," Kili spoke softly. "I know this island sucks, but there's one thing I like. You can be anyone you like, out here. You're not paying anyone right now, and you won't be paying anyone until we get off this island. You're not anyone's boss over here. So be you. Right? I know you call me a monkey for being out here all the time, but I'm finally doing what I love. Which, if I'm honest, I never did at Durinco either." Kili laughed. "Look at us. You came to ask about Thranduil and instead I just keep talking about something else. Just so you know," he added in afterthought, "I'm not blaming you, you know. For that deal."

"I didn't come to ask about Thranduil. I came to ask about _you,_ " Thorin told him. "You've been a shadow of yourself since you were returned. What happened to you out there, Kili?"

In reply, Kili's smile fell and he waded further into the water, his back towards Thorin. The bay looked beautiful under the light, serene almost. Kili loved this place.

"They ... challenged me." He was barely audible. "For every task I completed, I earned myself, or Fili and I, food. I guess they wanted to see what my breaking point would be, but they didn't find it. So they pushed further." The last words were full of sorrow. "They found it."

"Oh, god," Thorin's voice was nearly a whisper, and he felt his chest tighten. "Kili, tell me. What did they do?

Kili shook his head. "Not even Fili knows, and he was there. I'm sorry, I just ... I need some time on my own. I'll be fine—you know I'll be fine. I really appreciate you coming to see me, but could we please talk about something else?"

"No, Kili, we can't," Thorin told him. "I'm sorry, but I need to know. Despite the way I behave, despite what you might _think_ of me, I love you. You're a son to me, despite how poorly I convey that sentiment. You know that, don't you? This is too important to sweep under the rug. Talk to me. There is nothing you can't tell me."

"Yes, there _is_." The distance between them was increasing. "That's one of the first times you told me I matter." Kili smiled sadly. Poorly timed as it was, it was nice. "I love you too, Uncle Thorin, but I can't tell you this. There are things you don't want me to know about you, just as there are things I don't want you to know about me. Please respect that."

Thorin was silent for the longest time, and made of show of scrubbing his hair and body. 

"You're a good person, Kili," he said finally. "A better man than I am. Whoever has hurt you ... well, there will be hell to pay," he assured him, using a tree trunk to steady himself as he climbed out of the water. "I'm not the only person concerned about you. If you feel uncomfortable talking to me, I hope you'll confide in Dwalin, or maybe Fili. He's a very good listener." Thorin pulled on his clothing slowly, as if giving Kili time to respond, which he did not.

"Good night, nephew," he said finally. "I hope you'll come back to us soon."

Then he left for camp

Kili did not stay in the lagoon long after that. He stared up at the star-dotted sky for a long time upon his return to his sanctuary in the mangrove, just thinking.

By far, this was the most effort Thorin had taken for his sake. Nor had it ended with a quarrel like it usually did. It felt good to finally, after years of thinking it wouldn't happen, have his undivided attention. Kili breathed out.

Thorin could never know about the kiss. He didn't deserve that.

Before long, he fell into a deep sleep and missed the next day's dawn. Quiet as he was and without many words, he decided not to miss its dinner.

Thorin lay down next to Fili when he returned to camp, but he was restless and worried. Fili didn't try to touch him or soothe him. He knew Thorin was worried about what the others might think. Holding Fili while he was injured or sick was one thing ... but for no good reason? Well, that just wasn't appropriate, was it?

Thorin could tell Fili wanted to touch him, though. And he was desperate for the comfort.

Finally, with a sigh, he pulled himself to his feet, subtly pulling at the hem of Fili's t-shirt for him to follow. He did, a few moments later. They made love wordlessly in the darkness on the sand half a mile down the beach from camp where no one could see.

When Thorin cried, Fili pretended he couldn't see that either, and simply held him.

\- - - - -

"Fellows... "

Gloin had been on watch duty that night. He thought he may have nodded off once—twice—but when he looked at the campfire, he was very sure that this could not have happened while he was on duty. 

But here it was. Meticulously rearranged.

Oin next to him looked down in horror. 

"Whose joke is this?" demanded Dwalin as soon as he saw, rousing most of the others by his gruff words.

The campfire was no longer a campfire. Someone had seen fit to rearrange it so the circle became a line from which two dark pits of charcoal flowed, lined with smaller rocks.

The shape of a skull and crossbones stared back at them.

"Uh, maybe it was Kili," Ori offered, "as a joke, you know? He's rather light on his feet."

"Someone's playing games with us," Dwalin groused, "and I don't like it."

Thorin didn't speak, his eyes focused on the carefully arranged fire, an obvious threat—it was no joke.

"This means they were here, then?" Bilbo wondered. "Those strange tall people from the other side of the island?"

"They must be ninjas or something," Bofur said, with nary a smile. "I got up to take a piss and I saw nothing."

Gloin groused. "Well, I don't like it." He stepped forward boldly and deformed the shape into a less menacing one. Then he looked up to the edge of the jungle. "We're sitting ducks while we stay here. They hold the jungle and it's just a small push before we've got nowhere left to go but the waters. I say we leave this place, or at least keep moving. Right now, they know exactly where we are."

"They'll know where we are no matter where we go," Fili said sadly. 

The dejected tone of Fili's voice tugged at Thorin's heartstrings. "I need to go to them," he told the company. "I need to go there, and try to negotiate with them."

"You don't want to go there."

Walking closer from the tree line, Kili called out. He ran the last few yards and came to a stop with everyone's eyes on him. "If you go there, they'll hurt you. That's all they want. If you go there, you'll only appear as weak in front of their eyes. They'll feed on that like prey."

"Now that we know they're there, trying to avoid them makes us appear weak, Kili," Thorin told his nephew. "I got us into the mess. And them, too, apparently. I'm the one who has to—at the very least—propose a solution to try to end it."

"Well, you're not going alone." Kili kept his ground opposite his uncle. "Either way, you'll need someone to bring a message and who knows his way around these woods. And maybe we should consider other options before deciding this is the only action to take."

"Does anyone have another idea?" Thorin looked around at them. "A better idea than me going there and owning up to my mistakes and trying to make amends? Don't be afraid to speak.” His eyes finally settled on Bilbo. "Baggins?"

"Why me?" Bilbo fired back immediately, affronted. But he had the spotlight now, and he might as well give his two cents while there was still time.

“Capture Thranduil?" he suggested.

Fili's eyes grew wide. 

As if Ori could read his mind, he voiced, albeit timidly, "That would be stooping to their antics. What does that say about us?"

"That we aren't cowards!" Nori spoke up.

"I _am_ afraid of them," Fili admitted, "but I also feel that our only way off this island is to work with them."

"The only way we'll find out if that's even possible is to confront them, and not in anger," Thorin clarified. "Believe me, no one's angrier than I am for what they did to the two of you," he told his nephew and Fili. "But level heads have to prevail. Even out here."

"Then plant me."

Kili looked around at everyone with a stubborn set on his face. "If Thorin goes there, he'll likely be subjected to whatever they feel like doing at the moment. When we get him back, he'll be nothing like the man we know. This is going to sound like madness, but if you want to have a dialogue with them, you need them to soften up first."

"Plant you?" Thorin's blue eyes were dark as an ocean before a storm. "Kili, I don't think so. Do you really want to re-live the horror they put you through? The person suffering their wrath—it should be _me_ "

"He's right," Fili said quietly. "As much I as I don't like it ... you're right. There's no softening them up, Kili. They want to deal with Thorin. They want him to take responsibility. We should go along, though," he suggested. "Both of us."

It was obvious from his reluctance that Kili didn't see much merit in this plan. As both Fili and Thorin were however adamant, and the rest of the group was quickly falling in line with them, he could only tag along or be left behind where he couldn't do anything.

He just hoped Thorin and Fili wouldn't get too comfortable around each other with him around.

"When do we leave?"

"I'd like to go along as well," Dwalin spoke up. It wasn't only because he felt a strong need to protect Kili and Thorin. "I'm in charge of the company's finances. If there needs to be a discussion about money, I'm the man to negotiate that."

No one saw fit to argue with them.

"Thorin, they could hurt you," Fili told him. "They could _kill_ you."

"I know," Thorin admitted. "But they deserve an explanation. They need to know that I'm not a coward. That none of us are. And that none of us—just like them—deserve to be stuck on this island. We leave at first light," he told the rest of them.

"Ori?" Kili asked. "You too? If things go wrong, we need someone to tell everyone here. You're a fast runner, and you know the way around." He hoped Ori didn't bear him a grudge for what he had said, earlier. "No more than that though. We'd be too slow."

Fili didn't like the idea of Ori putting himself in danger, but he wasn't at all surprised when Ori consented.

"Yes," he agreed with a sad smile. "Of course I'll come. If only to run away again."

"We should sleep the rest of the night then," Thorin told them all. "It's a long walk and I, for one, am not in as good a shape as I was when I was younger." He rolled over and pulled up his blanket to signify the end of the discussion.


	13. "Tell The Truth"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A party departs for the other side of the island to confront Thranduil and his people. Before they leave, Kili makes a confession to Fili.

The rest of them were much slower to return to rest. Fili himself sat staring at the fire for some time, wondering what a world without Thorin would be like. 

"Penny for your thoughts?" Kili sat down on the ground next to him with his eyes on the same target. "You are okay with me asking Ori along, right?" He assumed the best way to get through this endeavor was to rekindle his failing friendships with both Fili and Ori. Foolish was his uncle for going there, but Kili knew enough of his stubbornness to know he could only make the best of it.

Fili turned to him, wiping a tear from his eye. "Not here, okay?" he whispered, and got to his feet, cutting his eyes at Thorin, who was obviously not quite asleep. "Let's go down to the water." He led Kili down to where the soft sand met wet and sat down again. At last he turned to Kili and said, "Thorin could die tomorrow. Ori could. We _all_ could."

Bare feet sank into the wet sand just a few feet before him. Kili turned. "In the jungle, yes. Even Dwalin could. But not by the hands of Thranduil. What'll he do when he's got Thorin gone? Gone will be a large part of his reason for existing. He can't go anywhere, his company has gone down a long time ago, and all he's got left are his thoughts. He could have killed us, but he didn't. I don't fear death by his hands. Which doesn't mean I think it's a great idea." He sighed. "You know Thorin as well as I do. If he thinks he's got a plan, he's got a plan."

"I think he's right," Fili sighed. "He needs to meet face to face with Thranduil. That doesn't mean I'm not terrified."

Fili was quiet for a few moments, watching the waves caress the shore. It was _so_ beautiful here. With the right amenities and facilities, it could be paradise. As it was, it was a prison—a beautiful, dangerous prison.

"Did Thranduil hurt you, Kili?" Fili asked finally. "Did he _try_ anything with you?"

Kili tried to be casual about it. "You've seen my wounds. Yes, he hurt me. I don't think it pleased him directly, not that it matters. But every wound he gave me, I think you've seen it. I don't want to return to him, and I doubt you want to either. Thorin is dragging us both along whether he knows it or not, and honestly, I don't think he does."

"I'm terrified, I won't lie about it," Fili confessed. "But I wouldn't let him—or you—go back there alone. I think Thorin's afraid that they might have—" he paused for a moment, "that they might have raped you."

For a long time the other looked at the horizon. "They're not savages, Fili. They wouldn't do a thing like that. It's one of the only things that's left to them—pride. Why would he think something like that anyway? He knows Thranduil, doesn't he?"

"It's not really in my place to say," Fili didn't look at him, "but if you must know, Dwalin was concerned with the way you were acting. He thought, maybe, they'd taken advantage of you while you were a prisoner. I'm sorry I brought it up, Kili."

The water lapped gently at their feet. Kili looked at the moving ridge between water and his skin sadly. "When I stopped talking to Ori, you mean?" He wrapped his arms around himself. "Do I come across as easy, Fili? Because of what I did with Dwalin, or some other reason? It's not—it's an honest question."

"Oh, Kili," Fili's voice was barely audible. "It's not like that at all. If anyone, _anyone_ , among us comes off as easy, it's me, not you." He couldn't meet Kili's eyes. He didn't want him to see the tears there. "Dwalin thought you seemed spooked, I guess. He was worried. He cares for you, Kili. You know that, right?"

"I know." Kili walked back to Fili's level and sat down. He ignored the sea touching the hem of his jeans-gone-shorts. "Thorin does too, and you. All in the same way. I don't think you're easy, you know. You've been running between two people you love, who happen to love you too. I get that. And Thorin isn't the easiest choice you could have picked, but you did. I think that says something about you. I had my reasons not to come back. It's got something to do with that, I suppose. If they catch me, they'll use it against me."

"I'm sorry things with Thorin haven't been as nice as they could have been. I wish he understood you better, and you him," Fili told him. "He's the closest thing to a father you have. And, I will admit, I have garnered my own father fantasies with him. He's supported and appreciated me in ways my own father didn't. But I'll say this," Fili wasn't sure how to proceed, "clearly, no matter how things truly are with you and Thorin, our friends on the other side of the island don't know. They think you're close family. And yeah, they'll use it."

"They know we're not. Several times, I've heard them try to convince Thranduil because there was no point hurting me. That's not what they'll use." Kili was tired of getting up and walking away from things. "They're going to use that kiss. Did you not understand why that's been their demand?"

"The kiss? _Our_ kiss? The one they forced on us?" Fili frowned. "I just thought they were messing with us. Kili, what are you getting at?"

Nothing, Kili figured sadly. Not a single consideration. He truly did not know nor fathom. "I'm Thorin's nephew. You're his boyfriend. Partner. One kiss between us and if he ever finds out, Thorin's pride will singe that what's between him and you, and him and me. Don't you see? We did the forbidden. Anything could have happened, but not that kiss."

"But...Thorin wouldn't be upset. They _made_ us do it, Kili, in order to secure our freedom. It's not like we were in that cage making out or anything," he smiled. "Thorin knows there's nothing between you and me. No one would ever consider that a possibility."

Kili got up. He'd given it his best, but it was time to end this conversation, for he had not the strength to carry on. "There is one who would. I'm going to try and get some rest. It'll be early soon. I suggest you do the same."

"Kili," Fili got up to follow him. "Wait!" he lay a hand on his arm. "I'm not going to lie to you and tell you I didn't feel anything when we kissed. I did. It was... _electric._ But, we were imprisoned. Adrenaline was zinging through us. We were terrified. Any gesture of comfort would have seemed....heightened," he offered weakly.

What would it help to mention how good it had felt? That he couldn't stop thinking about it? Nothing.

Perhaps it was the unexpected admission that really swayed Kili. He reeled back, more fire than a hiss, more desperation than the will to strike. "I wasn't high on adrenaline because I was _terrified_ , Fili. Know this, because they'll use it against us if they can. You're with Thorin and as I respect him and I respect you, I will push that feeling down until it goes, but do _not_ speak of it again, because I want things I cannot have and it is not a pleasant thing to be reminded of."

"Kili," the blond sounded for all the world as if he were carrying a heavy weight that he longed to put down, " _no._ I cannot imagine a worse time for you to tell me this. My god," Fili felt as if his knees would no longer hold him.

"I am very fond of you, Kili," he admitted. "I liked you the moment we met back in London. But these past few weeks, it's been as if nothing I say brings you any joy. In fact, just the opposite. I...I get it now. I do. But, dear god, now? When we're about to go back... _out there?_ "

A melancholy had taken hold of Kili. "I told you," his whisper carried between the two of them, and no further. "They'll use it against us or they'll turn it against Thorin. You need to be prepared for it. You really did not understand why I wanted to reconsider kissing you. They saw it too, I knew they did, and that's what they're going to expect. I...didn't plan to tell you before, but I guess it's out anyway. Do you think I should tell uncle?"

Fili shook his head. "No," he reached for the other man and pulled him into a hug. "We shouldn't speak of it where anyone can hear. The less ammunition they, or anyone, has, the better for all of us. We can work through this," he assured him. "It's...wow," he breathed in deeply the scent of sea air and Kili, "it's a lot to take in." He held Kili at arm's length. "My god, it all makes sense now."

Kili smiled awkwardly. "Yeah, sorry. I'll be better from now on, since, you know, _you know_. It's—well, it's kind of a relief, actually, to finally have that out there. Ori said it was obvious, but I guess it wasn't really. Not that it should have been. It was supposed to go away without you ever knowing, but that turned out not to be the healthiest choice for my sanity after all." He stuck out his hand. "Friends?"

At last, the knees that had been threatening to give out, did. Fili sat down, and not gracefully, in the sand. When he looked up at Kili, his blue eyes were spilling with tears. 

"I'm just so glad you don't h-hate me," he whispered. Then, he started sobbing full force, as if all the fear and stress of the island had decided to manifest right then and there.

Frankly, Kili didn't know what to do. He sat down and awkwardly wrapped his arms around Fili and tried to support him as much as he could. "I don't hate you," he whispered. "Hey. We'll be okay. I'm really sorry about my timing, I just...thought you should know, I guess. Shh, it's good." He looked around as if in need of help—but any help that would be offered, would be declined. "Maybe you should get some sleep too. You look exhausted."

"Sleep?" Fili lamented. "Are you...are you kidding me? My head's ready to burst, it's so full." But the lines around his eyes and the fact that he was having trouble getting back up betrayed him.

"M-maybe you're right," he admitted. "We have to set out tomorrow as if all is well. We must support Thorin. He's counting on us both, you know. He must be terrified, but you know he'll never let it show, Kili. You might have to be the strong one, the better man. Step up and fix things between you. I know he loves you."

Kili properly smiled for the first time. "So it wasn't you who sent him to talk to me earlier. I thought it might have been. He came to look for me near the lagoon just after nightfall. Don't ask me what he was thinking, coming into the jungle after dark, alone, but we talked." He looked at Fili while he offered his shoulder for support. "It was nice for a change." Playfully, but also gaining sleep very fast, he nudged Fili. "Even said he loved me. Don't tell him, because you know how much courage that must have taken him. I think we'll be all right eventually."

"Maybe," Fili speculated, "being stranded on this island was just the kick in the pants your relationship with your uncle needed."

When he fell onto his blanket next to an already sleeping Thorin—despite his predictions—Fili fell in to a fast, dreamless sleep.

It took little time for morning to come and a hand to shake Kili awake, on the other side of the group. It had been a while since he'd last stayed with the group, and there was no dedicated spot reserved for him. In the end he had awkwardly laid himself down opposite Bombur.

Kili blinked up at Dwalin and rubbed his eyes. He groaned when he accidentally rubbed sand in. "It's time?"

"It's time, kiddo."

"Everyone else...?"

"Waking up."

Kili dreaded going, but he needed only to take one look at Thorin to know it was the only path open to them.

"When we leave," he whispered, "tell everyone to find a different location. We're taking most of the hunters away from camp. There'll be little between them and Thranduil's people if all this is just a diversion."

Fili awoke to a camp a buzzing hive of activity. Thorin sat next to him, his suitcase open in front of him. "What should I take along?" he wondered.

"Nothing you value," Fili warned him, stretching. "They took everything from me when they....well, you know," he looked down at his watch. "But, to their credit, they returned it all when they let me go. Still, don't bring along anything you're attached to."

"If I had to do that, I'd be going alone," he turned his gaze to Fili and the blond saw the fear in his blue eyes. "I'd be going alone. I _should_ go alone."

"We'd never let you do that," Fili lay his hand over Thorin's.

"Moving camp," Bilbo muttered under his breath to Bombur, "now _that_ is going to be a chore!"

"More of a chore than facing those lugs from the other side of the island?" the big man wondered.

"I know they'll find us no matter where we go," Bilbo asserted. "Moving will only make us look scared, which, admittedly, we are. I think we should stand our ground."

"Discuss that _after_ we're gone," Dwalin scolded him when he overheard their conversation. 

It was too early for Kili to be thinking about these things, but Bilbo was right. He sighed. "How about, when we're done, we'll light a fire and use smoke? You can respond with smoke and we'll come and find you. In the first hour of sundown, all right?" He struggled up and looked apologetically. "Sorry, I'd rather not split us up either." He let Dwalin help him fully upright and then moved to the others of their expedition.

Before leaving on the long walk to the other side of the island, Fili made an effort to go around and speak to each of the eight colleagues they were leaving behind. He thanked Oin for taking care of him and asked Bilbo to be in charge of the personal belongings of those who died.

When he reached Bifur, whose vacant, unflinching stare unnerved him, he was at a loss for words. Finally, he spoke.

"Mr. Bifur, I'm sorry my words didn't have any affect on them. I tried so hard to get you medical attention. I want to get all of us off this island. I just don't know what to say to them to help them get over the anger they have towards us!" he finished the sentence with a warm hand over Bifur's. He didn't expect an answer, and simply sat next to the man, staring out at the calm sea. 

Finally, when he was getting up to leave, Bifur said, "Tell the truth."

Fili shot a glance in his direction, but the poor man simply sat with the same dazed look on his face. Had he been hearing things? He didn't think so.

"I will, Mr. Bifur," Fili assured him. "We'll get us all home to our families."

\- - - - - 

Thirty minutes later found the quintet walking through the jungle, each wrapped in his own thoughts.

As went unsaid and as such needed no words, Kili took the vanguard. He had asked Ori to walk with him, but they didn't speak as they headed further into the jungle.

After what felt like hours, Ori finally broke the silence. "Hold on," he called out as loud as he dared, while they were still in known territory, and ventured off to a bush he recognized. Off it he began plucking a large nut-like type of berry, which he gathered in his shirt. He threw one to everyone within the group. "Try these. They're edible; I just want to know what you think. Not everyone likes them, but it's food."

Dwalin was the first to try one. "Ah," he grouched, "not for me, this one. Sorry, kid."

Fili sniffed at his, then asked Dwalin, "What's it taste like?" He wanted to make sure it wasn't in any way related to the coconut family.

Ori beat him to it. "It's okay. Not allergenic. More like lemon, I guess." He peeled open his own fruit, showing Fili the inside. Kili was already eating and enjoying the taste, and Thorin only tried anything after Dwalin had taken his bite.

"We should keep moving," he said.

"Oh, but we should gather some of these first. We don't know what kind of food we'll run into later on."

"Mh," Kili agreed, "toss me a few. I'll carry some."

Fili finally popped the fruit into his mouth, and its tangy taste exploded on his tongue. As they'd traveled, he'd stuck close to Dwalin. The others, each in their own way, surely figured out what he was doing. He was trying not to let the spies from the other side of the island see him get getting too close to any one of them.

He was damned if he would let his love or loyalty to any one person be used as a weapon against him. Dwalin offered some safety and surety as they walked, keeping him grounded. Fili had room in his bag for at least a dozen of the strange fruit, so he filled it up, blessing Ori's survival skills.

They were going to be walking through known areas all day, and at midday, Kili was getting tired of it. It was time for giving someone a crash course in survival.

"Thorin," he called out. "Come over here." He crouched down next to a patch of trampled grass and pointed down. "What do you think these are?"

"Are they footprints?" his uncle asked.

Fili smiled at Kili over Thorin's shoulder.

And it would have been easy for Kili to get distracted by that, but he paid his uncle more attention, offering a friendly smile back. "That's probably a wild cat. Not too big to be a threat to a party like ours. In fact, if we're going to stay here much longer and it's an ocelot, we could capture it. They can be domesticated and they're great hunters. Where do you think it went?"

"Wonder if we could catch one?" Ori asked Fili. "I wonder what ocelot tastes like?"

"I'm thinking it'd be heavenly," Dwalin mused, "especially with one of Bombur's berry compotes."

The two laughed, although neither of them was truly joking.

Thorin smiled, unable to avoid hearing the conversation, but his eyes scanned the area. "That way?" he hazarded a guess, based on some bent grass.

"Take a look, do you see further tracks where you think he went?"

Thorin looked up at Kili as if he were about to say something scathing, then his look softened. "All right," he got up and followed the bent grass into a small clearing. Seconds later, he was met with a loud hissing sound.

"Found him!" he cried. "Goddamnit, he scared the piss out of me!" Thorin’s face was red with what could have been exertion or shame.

"You scared him too, apparently," Fili noted the blur of brown and gold running away. "Too bad. Dwalin wanted to have him for dinner."

Kili's exhilaration dampened slightly. "He could have brought us plenty of dinner, if we trained him." He still didn't like having to kill animals for food, and when he did, he rather picked lizards or birds. Somehow, cats didn't fancy his taste. "Anyway," he got up and wiped his knees, "I didn't expect him to be this close by. We, well, I think we should get going again." He grinned at Thorin. "Good track."

"I'm glad I could provide your entertainment," Thorin said to his colleagues, most of whom were trying not to laugh at him.

"I could picture you, like Tarzan," Fili smiled at Kili. "Flying through the jungle over the treetops, your faithful ocelot at your side." He didn't mention the loincloth he was also picturing. "What would you name it?"

"Ocelot, probably." Kili had his eyebrows quirked good-naturedly at the image. "Are you expecting me to burst into a roar any time now? But wouldn't that be nice, to have something like a pet around here?" He poked Ori when he figured he was probably giving Fili too much attention for the redhead's liking. "Wouldn't you want one? If, you know, Dwalin doesn't threaten to have it for supper?"

"I don't know," Ori pondered. "It'd just be one more mouth to feed, wouldn't it?" he put to them. "It's challenging enough just feeding the lot of us."

"It's a good thing that caterer crashed with us," Dwalin contributed. "He's been incredibly helpful, hasn't he?"

"Everyone brings something to the table," Thorin concluded. "Just like a mini version of Durinco. But, I must say, I am loath to be in charge of you lot."

"I don't think anyone's in charge," his nephew was careful to put it to his uncle. He voiced what everyone was thinking—that they valued Thorin and respected him, but he hadn't been much of a leader on the island. Kili liked for him to reclaim that title though, to a certain extent, and he could tell that at least Dwalin thought the same. "We each have our own departments though."

"Dead animals and carrying stuff around," Dwalin boasted proudly as they continued onward, without a map that pointed them in the right direction. "That's my thing."

"Clearly Kili's in charge of general safety and well-being. Making sure we don't eat anything that kills us, building shelters. You're like a mini Red Cross," Ori told him. "And Fili's the one keeps us all from killing each other. He’s a born diplomat."

"And what's _your_ contribution, Ori?" Thorin asked, out of curiosity.

"I'm keeping a written record of it all, back in my suitcase," Ori told them. "I found a journal in one of the ladies' bags and I've been writing a bit every day about what life is like here on the island."

"I didn't know that," Fili smiled in admiration, heart swelling with love for his friend. "I'd like to read it, Ori."

"After we're home. After I'm famous," the redhead promised.

"Are you going to publish it?" Dwalin mused. "I reckon, if we ever get off this island, our story's going to be prime time news. I bet a lot of people would want to read it."

Kili shushed them before Ori could give an answer. He stopped in his tracks and turned around.

"We're crossing the boundaries now," he said. "I know they probably won't be right there waiting for us, but we should be more careful. Does anybody want to scout ahead?"

"Do you really suppose they're waiting for us?" Ori's eyes were wide.

"I think they're watching us all the damn time," Fili told them all. "It's like you can feel their eyes on you. Don't you feel it?"

"Why bother scouting, then?" Ori asked. "If they know, it's no surprise. Do you think they'd attack us again, like they did last time?"

"I'd prefer not to think about that," Fili unconsciously walked a bit closer to Thorin.

"If anyone's going in there, it's going to be me," Thorin told his nephew. "I'm not putting any of you at further risk."

"We're here though," Kili commented, "and none of us are going anywhere." He stared at Ori like he just remembered something. "Where were you caught? Are you sure, all of you? You want them to find you? Because that might be the first place to start, if you are."

"The three of us arrived in a clearing," Fili told him, "not too far from here. It was odd because all the sound just simply vanished, like a vacuum. Even the wind seemed to stop. Like we were in some freaky sci-fi movie."

"It gave me the chills," Ori agreed. "We were remarking on how we should probably get out of there, and that's when they jumped us."

Dwalin looked at Thorin. "Are you sure you want to go there?"

Kili was chewing on his lip, looking between Ori and Fili and at Thorin. Were they sure they wanted to be caught again? He had had enough of those cages for a life time, and the only way he knew how to avoid them was to avoid getting caught. Yet, they had no idea where they were supposed to be going. They could be skirting their settlement right now and they'd have no idea.

"None of you needs go with me, if you don't want to," Thorin told them. "But I need to at least try to open the lines of communication with them."

"You won't be alone, Thorin," Fili insisted. "I'm going with you. They seemed to like me—well enough. I'm more concerned about Kili's safety, to be honest," he looked over at the brunet.

"I am as well," Thorin admitted. "I hate taking you back there with me, nephew. I couldn't bear to watch you being hurt."

"I think," Dwalin drew into the group, face serious, "that you need to let your uncle do this. He won't tell you this, but he's carrying a heavy burden, bearing the responsibility for us being here. He feels responsible. Let him try to fix things."

"Thank you, Dwalin," Thorin said softly. "I'm afraid he's right. I _do_ feel responsible, especially after what you two told me after your imprisonment. If anyone deserves to bear the brunt of their anger, it's me. I'm ready to face the music," he told them."

"I don't want to lose you, Thorin," Fili added. "I'm sorry if that's selfish, but it's true."

Both Kili and Ori looked between the two, as for the first time it was spoken aloud in the presence of another person. They slowly turned to Dwalin, who just grinned and said, "Well, finally someone has the balls to admit it. I say we're in this together. We'll check out this place, and if there's nothing there, we continue. We're running blind either way."

Fili didn't have the courage to look any of them in the eye right then. He simply turned and started walking in the direction of the clearing. 

Ori threw Dwalin one withering look and rushed up to Fili, while Kili did the wise thing and let them walk ahead just out of earshot while he kept the other two back. "Well played, Dwalin," he muttered.

"I'm just telling it how it is."

That was true. "It was supposed to be a secret," Kili returned nonetheless. He tried to gauge Thorin's response while he ignored the two in front of them.

"Fee..." Ori sighed. "Are you okay?"

Fili nodded. "It's no secret to anyone here, is it?" His mouth was set in a grim line. "Hasn't been for a long time. I just...I want us all to be safe," he told his friend. "I'm sure that's just not possible."

Thorin's blue eyes were locked on Fili and a small, contented smile played about his lips. More than ever, he was determined to work things out with Thranduil.

He turned to see his nephew looking at him strangely, and his smile merely deepened. "I'm glad you’re here, Kili," he told him quietly. "You're pretty amazing, do you know that?"

It was the first time Kili actually looked embarrassed. "It's just..." he started, but he counted his blessings and finished, "...thanks." The company had quieted down after Dwalin's remark and did not regain its previous demeanor. Dwalin looked around like a dormant berserker waiting to be roused, while Kili quietly pointed out other animal tracks to Thorin wherever he found them.

They moved swift, yet it wasn't until twilight that they reached the spot. Or; what should have been the spot.

"That's strange," said Ori. "Do you hear that?"

Dwalin looked around. "It's not silent."

They waited a long time.

"Now what?"

"I wonder why it was so quiet here before?" Fili wrinkled his nose. "Are you sure we're in the right place?"

"This is it," Ori nodded. "I was so terrified, I memorized every detail."

Fili squeezed his arm in sympathy.

"Is it much further to where they've set up camp?" Thorin wondered. "If so, we should consider camping for the night.”

"We don't know where they are. I was brought in unconscious, and I think Fili was too." Kili looked apologetic. "The only thing I know is that, outside the terrain we are familiar with, it can't be more than a day by foot. I was there one day when Fili was brought in."

He sat down with a sigh. "We might as well set up camp here."

"I am perfectly content with continuing on alone," Thorin told them all, meeting each man's eyes as he spoke. "Not a single one of you is under obligation to join me. I want you all to know that."

"All the more reason why I intend to come with you," Dwalin assured him. 

Fili sat down next to Kili, exhausted from the long walk. The muscles in his legs were jumping. "You already heard my thoughts on this, Thorin," he told him, slipping off his sneakers and wiggling his toes. "But, Ori...," he turned to his friend, "I'd feel ever so much better if you felt like turning back."

Ori sat down next to him, his eyes on Dwalin and Thorin to take a rest as well. Shadows grew around them, creeping down the thicket like claws.

"To be fair, when you talked things through on the beach, none of you mentioned getting caught on purpose. That's why I'm here, isn't it?” Ori wondered. “But I'm not leaving you now."

He could tell that at least Kili shared Fili's concerns. Thorin nonetheless inclined his head and declared with humility, "I couldn't have picked a better team myself."

"You're just stuck with us," Kili grinned. He leaned back and lay down easily. "Let's try to make a fire later. You want them to find us, don't you?"

"Yes, I do," Thorin told his nephew. "But I'm terrified, all the same.”

Fili, flanked by Kili and Ori, felt compelled to get up and lay down by Thorin's side.

"I should—" he jerked his head in Thorin's direction, "you know."

He smiled at both of them apologetically, and got up.

Dwalin grunted and made room for him with a knowing smile. That put him closer to Ori, who was not aware of it, and Kili, who was and didn't care.

"Ori," he whispered. "You're not still angry about the other day, right?"

"No, Kili," Ori smiled. "Of course not. I wasn't angry then. Just disappointed." As darkness fell, he felt too wound up to sleep and sat up.

"Wish we had marshmallows and hot dogs."

"God...a beer would be amazing about now," Dwalin muttered.

"Being outdoors makes me crave hamburgers...picnic food," Fili contributed. "But I'd trade it all for a hot shower."

"I still think that if we can't find them and they lost their interest in us, we should scale the volcano and find ourselves hot springs," Kili added. He reached for Ori's hand where no-one could see and squeezed it, mouthing a 'sorry' in reply to Ori's previous words. It wasn't that he thought Ori was unattractive. They were simply both distracted by someone else. With a signaled gesture, he tried to tell Ori that he and Dwalin weren't doing anything anymore either, but signs were poor substitutes for words, and he didn't think any of that crossed the distance.

"In the mean time," contributed Dwalin, "we should get that fire going. I don't know about you guys, but I'm starting to get used to this heat. It feels like it's freezing up around here."

It was freezing up, and more so than usual. Soon puffs of air appeared any time someone breathed. Kili shook and hugged himself.

Then came the silence.

"Oh no," Ori murmured into Kili's shoulder. "No, not again!"

"I think," Fili wrapped his arm around Thorin's waist for what he was certain might be the last time, "and whispered in his ear, "you're about to get your wish, Thorin." Fili's eyes were full of fear and remorse. "Tell the truth," he advised him, "okay?"

But Thorin too looked scared. They had barely time to get up on their feet before the dark enveloped them all, hands reached out from the black and one by one, they fell down.


	14. Quite a Sentence for Someone with Such Shockingly Blue Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captured by Thranduil and his people, the captives spend time in their respective prisons.

"Be careful."

"Quiet."

"Quiet yourself. You know what he said. If you hurt them..."

"It was just a bump."

_"Just a bump?"_

"So he hit his head..."

"You're in trouble."

"Not if you don't tell him."

Laughs chorused around him.

\- - - - - -

When Ori woke, the world was dark. Manacles kept his feet from moving, their weight weighing painfully on his joints, but other than that, the floor he was sitting on was flat, oiled wood, in perfect condition and warm to the touch. There was no ache in his back from sleeping on a flat surface and, when he felt around, he found snug pillows where his head had been.

"Hello?" he asked. "Hello, is anyone—?"

A door opened and warm light filtered in. Ah, there were the bars. They were the only obstruction he found in a fairly comfortable room—comfortable in a civilized way. There was a bed, and the walls were made out of a rich dark wood. There was even a small slit for a window, which would allow light to filter in by day.

A young man entered the room, put down a tray of food, and left.

"That looks delicious," came from the shadow on the other side. Ori startled. He hadn't seen—

"Dwalin?"

"Aye, laddie," the older man grunted as he got to his feet, also hampered by manacles, and sat down on the edge of his bed. "Can you believe this? Pillows? A bed?! These folks have been holding out on us. And, my god, the food...rice, chicken. Eat it while it's warm, Ori," Dwalin advised.

Ori lay back on his bed, moaning in pleasure as his bones finally felt something akin to comfort. He had no time for food yet—tempting though it be. "Where are the others? Are they here?"

But no, the cabin looked too small to be harboring more than two cells. They were already so closely opposite one another that it took no far stretch for their hands to touch, nothing like the broad strip that had divided Fili and Kili, from what Ori had been able to understand.

"How long have you been awake? What happened to Thorin?"

"Maybe thirty minutes at best," Dwalin told him. "I haven't heard anything about the other three," he reported sadly. "Aside from the young man who brought your food, and mine earlier, no one's been by. It's been quiet. If the others are here, they're well separated from us. We rather expected that,” he turned to Ori. "We're just an afterthought, aren't we?"

"Right..." Ori sighed on his bed. "This is what Thorin wanted. Not that what happens to us is going to make a change. I hoped they could at least put us all together, but all they wanted was him and his two weaknesses." He breathed out, looking around his 'room'. They’d even put up a painting. And what seemed like a—

Did he see that right?

Ori got up and padded to the right corner of the cage. A door stood ajar. Not the one leading to the exit, but another one leading into the other cage. He tried carefully whether it wasn't a trick. "If I knew the three of them were okay, yes." Ori nudged the door and pushed it further open, his eyes on Dwalin. The manacles weighed heavy on his ankles, but it wasn't impossible to move. They were there to prevent running, obviously. "Move over. I'm coming to sit with you."

The strange metal around his ankles clanked against the wooden floor and Ori felt like a poltergeist, out to haunt someone. He sat on the other bed without Dwalin's permission, offering his plate as payment. "Not too much, I've still got to eat." Ori smiled apologetically. "Well, didn't you wish I was Kili. Looks like you're stuck with me for a while."

"You know what I've learned after years of working with Thorin?" Dwalin said, taking the plate from Ori. "I've learned that you get ahead more in life if you look and listen more than you do and speak. And do you know what I have learned by watching and listening to you, Ori? I've learned that you don't seem to like yourself very much. But," the older man handed the plate back to him, having eaten nothing, "there are plenty of people who do like you. One in particular comes to mind."

His directness was not welcomed in grace. "Excuse me, I did not ask for a review," Ori looked away. They had been talking for only a few minutes and already he wondered if he shouldn't have just stayed in his own part of the cell. "And Fili's god-knows-where, you don't need to remind me."

"This isn't a review, Ori my boy," Dwalin chuckled. "It's an observation. Advice, if you want to take it. Always so serious," he smiled. "And always so hard on yourself. That'll take its toll, eventually."

Ori fell back on the bed. "I was just trying to break the ice. So how do you figure we get out of here? This was a stupid plan to begin with, getting ourselves caught. If you'd told me from the start, I wouldn't have come along. It's just, Thorin, and...oh, we're doomed."

"I know you have issues with Thorin," Dwalin said gently. "There's no need rehashing that. Believe me, Thorin and I have a history that goes back to when you were a boy. I knew him when he was...well, when he was more like his nephew," the older man's face took on a softer look. "Do you understand what I'm saying? I need to be here, to do whatever part I can, to help him. To help Kili and Fili, and to help you. I love him like you love Fili," he confessed. "Oh, don't look at me like that," he groused. "It's obvious you do. Me, not so much."

"Thorin?" Ori huffed. "What's so special about Thorin? He's a stiff CEO who doesn't know when to let people in and yet somehow everyone falls for him." And now Dwalin too. What they also had in common? Kili. But Ori thought it might be best if he didn't divulge on that. He already felt enough of an outsider. "Does he know?"

"Well, he used to, back in the day," Dwalin smiled slyly, "back when we were...you know, _intimate._ " He nodded at the food, encouraging Ori to dig in. "Oh, he was quite a tiger between the sheets. I can share that with you. We're roommates now," he smiled. "He got stodgy quite suddenly when he took over for his dead father," Dwalin lamented. "It was quite incredible. Almost happened overnight. Then, he stopped being so much like Kili is now. He got serious and responsible. Quite a sentence for someone with such shockingly blue eyes."

"Right." Because Ori needed a reminder why Fili had picked Thorin instead of him, no matter what past Thorin seemed to have had. And apparently attractive Mr. Dwalin agreed with Fili there. "So you moved to Kili. Good for you." This was getting more and more depressing.

"Whoa there, kid," Dwalin suddenly chilled considerably. "Yes, technically, you're right. Kili and I have had a spot of fun. And we've been close over the years. But he's not a substitute for anyone. He's very special. Something tells me you know that, too." 

Ori was promptly reminded of the moment Kili turned him down. Instead of sounding like a bitter man, he swallowed that remark. He was already close to returning to his cell, pulling a blanket over him and just crying into his pillow. "I never told Thorin. Fili and I saw you by accident, that's how we know."

"I know," Dwalin admitted. "Kili told me you caught us with our pants down. Hey, what happens on the island stays on the island, right? We cheated death. Hell, we could die today..." his voice petered off. "You _are_ going to find happiness, Ori," Dwalin assured him, "but you have got to start believing that you deserve it."

He received a smile from Ori without full effort. "Once we get off this island. I'll start believing it then. Deal? Hand me the plate, please."

Dwalin didn't push it, but handed the meal over with a smile. "We'll hear from them soon, Ori," he tried to reassure him. "Until then, well, I guess we can just start to get to know one another better."

\- - - - -

Thorin awoke with a start.

His hair was soaking and his feet scrambled on a slippery surface, his hands unable to support him from where they were tied above his head. A single light shone in from behind him, lighting the largely metallic room with an eerie glow and hiding none of the industrial stench.

"Ah. Finally."

Opposite him on a makeshift chair leaned Thranduil. None of the chamber's rust had settled on his pristine white clothes and he stood out like the only pure being locked in a world of decay. It was poetic, if not chilling.

"Awake and here. Long time, old friend. Long time."

Thorin's head throbbed and the light hurt his eyes. "Thranduil," he tried to calm the quiver in his voice. "I'm glad you were willing to talk to me instead of killing me outright. Thank you."

"Oh, I've thought about it." Thranduil spoke casually, like he was talking to a life long friend. "But it would kind of defeat the purpose, would it not? How to exact my revenge when the only thing I can exact it on is gone? No, having you here, on this island, is a true blessing indeed." He gestured at Thorin. "You're not uncomfortable, I do hope?"

"I expect your wrath, Thranduil, and some—if not a great deal of—discomfort," Thorin admitted. "But my companions? The men I was traveling with? Can you tell me how they fare?"

"Your friends, they're more than fine. They have been provided good lodgings and food—given that they don't leave." Thranduil raised his chin. "By now you must understand why you're here and not with them, Thorin Oakenshield."

Thorin's pride took over momentarily. "I'm here because I _came_ to you," he held his head up high despite his precarious position. "This...situation. It needs to be resolved. None of us wants to stay on this island forever. Let us work together, Thranduil. I have brilliant men at my camp—engineers, a doctor."

Thranduil's eyes bored into Thorin's with a sudden sharpness. "There is nothing left for me outside the island. One of the last people to join us told me of the company's downfall. My family believe I'm dead, and who's there to deny that? My only son…chained to this island with me. A young man at the time of his disappearance, whose worry for his father pulled him away from everything he deserved and cursed him to this hellhole instead. Yet we can't leave, brilliant men or no. You came to me? If that's how you see things."

"My," Thorin began, then cleared his throat, " _Fili_ claims you told him that _you_ are responsible for the crash that brought us here," he told the aloof blond man. "Are you responsible for the deaths of nine of my people?"

"Without the risk of killing you at the same time? Wish that I was. No, I must say, there are times when I feel like this island is fate itself, and we were fated to meet again. In that regard, you may consider me the deciding factor. Only nine?"

"Nine of 22. Nearly half, if that makes you feel better about it," Thorin told him, unable to get the image of a nearly unrecognizable and mangled Mr. Yallin out of his head. "Good people. Innocent people. Not a single one involved in bringing you here. That responsibility lies with my father, who laid the plans, and me, who carried them out after he died. It was _me_ who failed to follow-up on the ghost stories, the superstitious native tales.

"Tell me, Thranduil," he went on, "had you been about to make as much money as I was, and were in the process of burying your own father, would you have put much credence in those sorts of tales? Something tells me no...because you, like me, are a businessman."

Thranduil laughed. "Oh, I would have put extra effort in my first business venture being a success. How did your company fare after your first partner went down?" He shook his head, getting up and walking closer. Thranduil watched Thorin like he was inspecting him for filth. "Something tells me every one of the survivors work for you. Perhaps a pilot or two. I've lived here for eight long years, Thorin. Nothing you say is going to make up for what happened, and whether that was foolishness on your part or on that of mine, the fact remains that during those eight years, you were out there and I was locked here. Now, I don't plan on staying here another eight, though I don't care if that fate befalls you."

"I'm sorry about your son," Thorin told Thranduil. "He always had such a level head. He, more than anyone, was robbed by your misfortune. But we can fix it, Thranduil," he insisted. "My nephew and I are quite good at sailing. I've heard you had boats. We can all get off this island and I can help you reestablish Mirkwood Incorporated."

Thranduil offered only a contempt-laden silence in reply. He had no intention of joining forces. Turning around, he started walking away. "Think on your sins, Mr. Oakenshield. And when you're done, you will tell me everything there is to know about the legends you ignored years ago. I have other prisoners I should attend to."

Thorin wanted desperately to keep Thranduil there with him and talking. Ss long as he stayed nearby he knew—at least he hoped—that his nephew and Fili were being spared. "Would you consider untying me?" he asked of his captor. "I want to be able to remember everything from the time of our deal, but this is a very painful position."

"And it will continue to be painful until I decide it will not." Thranduil's hand rested against the door. "You've yet to earn yourself any comfort. Good day."

\- - - - -

The noise of birds and falling water shattered the peace of the black. With a jolt Kili woke up. The first thing he checked was the sky. No bars in his vision. Then he wildly looked around. Nobody. He was in the middle of unknown territory, the ground under him was steep—which meant that he was further away from everyone else and the shores than he had been when they were caught—and the heat was only slightly diffused by the presence of water.

A chain rattled on his right wrist when he tried to get up, and the weight on the other side stopped him.

Not nobody.

Connected by about three feet of solid chain of a strange luster, Fili lay next to him. He appeared to be asleep, or perhaps unconscious. A cursory examination revealed a small bump on the back of his head buried beneath the blond. Obviously these guys weren't being as gentle this time around, or perhaps they decided to turn their anger on Fili instead.

"Ow," Fili groaned, eyes still closed, as Kili palpated the lump a second time. "Must you keep poking it? Fucking hurts," he concluded.

Kili drew his hands back at once. "You okay?" he needed to know. "I mean, aside from your head. They didn't hit me, so you must have thrown up a fight." He sat back for as far as the chain would allow them. Kili had heard mention of the alloy a few times. _Meethril,_ or something exotic-sounding like it. Impossible to break without the right tools. Being stuck in the middle of the jungle, he didn't see how they were going to be rid of it any time soon. "Can you get up? I think it's turning dark soon. We must have been out of it for a day." Again.

Well, at least they weren't locked up.

But where were the others?

"I suppose I did. Fight them, I mean," Fili knitted his brow. "They came for Thorin and I must have freaked out. I-I don’t remember," he concluded. "God, where are we? We're not in a cage, just exposed to the elements." He sat up slowly. "Is this it, then? Have we just been left to die of exposure?"

Kili held his other hand up and squinted into the setting sun. They'd been left on a rock just a little higher up and, as a result, looking one direction blinded him. "Die of exposure?" Fili's lack of credit for his survival skills stung. "No, it's another one of their challenges, that's what it is, though I don't know what the reward is going to be. We have to get back to the others."

"At least we're together," Fili smiled. "And this time we are literally stuck together. So much for privacy," he gently rattled the chain. "What strange metal," he commented, running his fingers over the cuff. "It seems semi-precious. Well Robinson Crusoe," he smiled, "which way do we go?"

But Kili didn't smile. He pointed easily to the south, based on the angle of the glaring sun, and while he did watch the chain, his thoughts were not there. "It's not survival I'm worried about," he admitted. "Where's Thorin? What are they doing with him? Did they just dump him in the jungle like us? And Ori and Dwalin? If they did, we have to find them, because none of them is going to last long. But if they're with the others and locked up, we're running around in circles here. Remember what we agreed on? A fire to indicate our location? I think we might have to make one."

Fili was heartwarmed when Kili showed such deep concern about Thorin. He felt it was indicative of a true breakthrough in their relationship. But Fili himself couldn't help but believe that at very moment Thorin was negotiating with Thranduil a plausible way to get off the island. His trust in both men was staggering.

"I know I'm definitely not your ideal survival partner," he told Kili. "I won't question your judgment. You are the expert here. Just tell me what to do," he implored.

"We need dry wood." The other looked at the chain that bound them and back at Fili. "Apparently, we need to do it together, which makes us twice as slow. To be honest, I don't think we're going to make it if we want to have that done in time. Let's just," Kili felt helplessly impeded by being chained to Fili, which was going to make everything harder—from running, where he would have to resort to snares instead of hunting prey on foot, to sleeping—but he didn't doubt that Fili was aware of that too. "Let's just find a good spot to sleep and we can sleep in turns. And find a big stick that can fend off spiders and bigger creatures. We need weapons."

Fili read the disappointment on Kili's face like an open book. “I'm sorry," he told him, "sorry they stuck us together like this again. I know it was hard for you the first time. I'll do everything in my power not to slow you down. Just tell me what to do," he insisted.

"Stop apologizing," were the first words out of Kili's mouth. He smiled though—no hard feelings. "Let's just start walking. Look, we'll make it work and we'll just get back to the others. I expect that if they're out there, they'll probably do the same." He nudged the chain lightly and started in the direction he'd pointed at slowly, giving Fili time to catch on.

They walked in silence for a while. Kili was too intent on his surroundings. Eventually, he knew what they were up against, and he could relax. "So, are you and him finally, you know, _official_?"

"I...," Fili began, then paused. "I just don't know, and right now is a horrible time to even begin to make that decision." He struggled to keep up with Kili's frantic pace. "I just think something is going to happen and it will all become clear." He knew that wasn't the answer the other wanted to hear, but it was the only answer he had right now.

"Oh." Kili felt sad, somehow, in that part of his mind that wasn't selfishly elated. "Sorry, I didn't—" It was none of his business, not anymore. Fili had done as he asked and made a decision, and the ball was in Thorin's court now. Kili just didn't see what could be so difficult about letting Fili in. Kili wouldn't hesitate—but then Kili's opinion had stopped meaning anything the moment he had decided he wasn't going to give in to whatever it was that he felt until Thorin and Ori stopped being in the picture. Which would be never.

He stopped in his tracks suddenly and held his hand out to make Fili do the same. Quickly his eyes scanned the floor for anything sharp or solid. A stone. That should do. Very carefully, he picked it up with the hand not connected to Fili, aimed, and flung it. There was a squeak, then silence. He grinned triumphantly. "And there's dinner. I hope you like lizard. We're going to do this, Fili. We're going to be okay."

Hours later, as he turned on the ground and tried to find himself a comfortable position to sleep in without dragging Fili flush against him, Kili wondered if the gods were punishing him for his careless words.

Fili lay with his back to Kili, shivering. They didn't have more than a foot between them, thanks to the ever-present chain linking them. As an hour passed, that distance lessened, for every little rustle and flutter that came out of the darkness had Fili on edge and he kept moving closer and closer to Kili until they were touching.

His stomach burbled, still trying to wrap itself around the lizard he'd had for dinner. _Tastes like chicken, tastes like chicken_ he had kept telling himself when he ate the stringy off-white meat. He was grateful Kili had the skills needed to feed them. Still, Fili would be keeping an eye out for some fruit as well.

The wind set the branches of the foliage above them in motion and Fili hugged himself against the chill. Thank god for Kili's warm back against his own. He fought the urge to roll over and huddle more closely for warmth and comfort.

He couldn’t sleep.

"…How are you feeling?" came a hoarse voice in the dark after what must have been ten minutes. Kili stared ahead of himself, equally quiet. He felt every twist and turn, and if he didn't, then the rustle on the floor did the same trick just fine. He was out of tools, out of rope and out of freedom of movement; anything he needed to properly survive in these woods. Kili didn't feel so comfortable either. He needed someone to talk to.

"I'm thirsty," Fili was forced to admit. "And...well, I'm scared. I can't sleep," he sighed. "I'm just so glad you're here with me, Kili," he confessed. "Had they stuck me out here alone, I don't know what I would have done. I—I guess my survival instincts might have kicked in, but, I don't know. It's so _dark_."

"We'll get water as soon as it's day, okay?" Kili hadn't noticed it before, but he was sufficiently thirsty as well. "Shouldn't be hard to find. We're on an island with a mangrove." He rolled to look up at the sky. Fili was right, it was dark—darker than it had been around the beach. From the corner of his eyes, trees rustled and he could see animals flitting about. Most of them were scared enough of these newcomers, but he didn't doubt that some would try to sate their curiosity at one point. He sighed. "You would have been great, Fili. You're stronger than you think you are. You would have let the first lizard pass you by, and maybe the second, but not the third."

Fili chuckled. "Woe to that third lizard who has to suffer my wrath," he smiled into the darkness. "You know," he said to Kili, "we should stop fighting with this chain," he rattled the offending manacle, "and start working with it. For example," he sat up, "this is the worst possible way for us to be lying here. It's not efficient. If I were to," he threw his left leg over Kili's pelvis and climbed over him so that his bound right hand rested on Kili's stomach, close to Kili's left. "There," he rested his head on Kili's shoulder and encircled him with his right arm. "Now we can stay warm and the chain's not a problem. I could even put my arm under your head...if you wanted a pillow."

Kili kept very, very still, but he swallowed and his eyes were stubbornly glued to the nightly sky dotted with stars in order not to look at Fili. He could control himself, damn it, he was a grown man. "A pillow would be good. Are you comfortable?"

"I'm _warmer,_ " Fili told him, "and as comfortable as one can get on the ground. Makes me miss the sand. Raise your head," he suggested. When Kili did, he slid his left arm underneath, which necessitated moving even closer. "You're not too warm are you? You're like a furnace right now."

"It's a pleasant warmth." Kili chuckled in the dark. "The sand really is much better. Or grass. I found patches of it in the jungle close to the others. You're going to call me crazy, but I was working on a hammock. Not that it's any warmer, but it would keep the bugs away." He sought out Fili's side and poked it lightly. "I'm not very sleepy. You?"

"I'm a bit freaked out; worried too," Fili admitted. "It's a terrible combination. A hammock...really?" he grinned. "Kind of pointless to build one while we're on the move. But maybe—after—if we're able to get back to the fuselage and the others," he yawned, betraying his earlier statement. The warmth was helping. Kili's presence. He was so _sure_ and solid.

"Thranduil’s people…they _want_ us to find our way back to them, right?" he asked the question that surely had to be plaguing Kili as well. "Back to their camp?"

Kili shook his head. He had considered the same, true enough, but it was too easy. "This is just another test for us. And for Thorin, it'll be extra leverage. He doesn't know where we are any more than we do. They probably know. We're left to fend for ourselves until he gives them what they want. Which means the best thing we can do is return to the others as fast as we can. We're going to make it, Fili, I promise you we will."

"I trust you, Kili," Fili told him. "There is no one else I would rather find myself chained to in the wilderness than you. Seriously."

"You didn't like that lizard much, did you though?" Kili laughed. "We'll find bananas or something tomorrow. Something else."

"It's not your fault," Fili apologized. "It's just...I think they're cute and, well, it's hard to kill them and eat them. I don't think I could do that. But we have to survive. It's protein. I get it," he gave him a reassuring squeeze. "I make a horrible mountain man. I always hated camping too. Give me a hotel room any day of the week."

It was the first time Kili forgot about the tension rigging his body, or what was happening to Thorin, Ori and Dwalin. "They are cute, aren't they? Remember the cat Dwalin wanted to eat? I really want one to help hunting. If we find one and we don't need the food, is it okay if I try to domesticate one?" 

Suddenly Kili pointed up at the sky. "Oh, look!" he exclaimed. A myriad of shooting stars rained down in the night sky above them. Kili watched it in amazement.

Fili was silent a few moments, admiring the splendor. "We'd never be able to see that back home in London. Too much light pollution," he concluded. Silently, he made a wish for their freedom. For help in making his decision clearer. For the presence of mind not to hurt anyone he loved in the process. 

He received no response until the meteor shower was well past. When Kili opened his mouth to speak, he was much quieter. "I always wanted to see that," he whispered. "Ironic, isn't it? That here on this island, I finally get my wish granted. I spent so many times trying to see something, only for it to be cloudy or raining. It's beautiful."

He was glad Fili had made him stay awake. Kili had nothing else to wish for, so he figured that his own wish could be wishing for Fili's to come true. Probably to get off the island, he thought. Kili sighed out contentedly. "Alright, what are we going to do tomorrow? So far I've got a lot of walking and finding water. I think we should make something like tools too. Can you shoot a bow?"

"I did learn how at summer camp, years and years ago," Fili told him. "My aim's not bad." He yawned again. "I'm no expert by any means, but shouldn't we just be trying to find their camp? Taking the time to stop and make tools is just more time taking away from seeing if Thorin, Ori and Dwalin are still alive."

"You really think that finding their camp is better than finding the others?" Kili didn't know much about where to find it, but they hadn't didn't a lot of time looking as of yet. And if they were on the slopes of a volcano as he suspected, he could climb a tree and see if there were any settlements further down.

Except he'd have to take Fili up the tree with him. Right, he'd nearly forgotten.

"All right. We'll look for their camp. Tomorrow."

"I don't know," Fili admitted. "What do they _want_ us to do? Considering this manacle that no one but our captors can open, it seems logical they want us to go there if we ever have any hope of being unlocked. But Kili, you have very good intuition. Do what you think is right."

Kili scowled. "My intuition doesn't reach as far as strategy or politics. We'll see which we find first, okay? If that's the others, they could help us, anyway." He yawned once and closed his eyes. Kili felt much more peaceful than he did half an hour ago. "Thanks," he mumbled before slowly falling asleep.

Fili himself didn't have much trouble dropping off after that; despite the hard ground, the warmth of Kili made a big difference in his comfort level.

Fili woke hours later to the feeling of fingers caressing his shoulder. He smiled softly, forgetting, momentarily, where he was and who he was with, and slowly raised his own manacled hand to interlace his fingers with the hand on his shoulder. When his hand met with something furry and solid, he paused.

He opened his eyes. Dawn's early golden light was streaming down through the trees. Directly in front of his face, sitting on Kili's chest, was a big, charcoal colored tarantula. Another sat lower on his abdomen.

"Oh my god," Fili whispered, feeling the blood draining from his face. "Kili," he wheezed, tried to rouse his friend. "Kili!" At the sound of his voice the spider sitting on Fili's own shoulder began skittering down his arm and all bets were off. 

Fili screamed.


	15. We Truly Mean You No Harm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili and Fili fend off the tarantulas. Ori and Dwalin meet Legolas. Thranduil interrogates Thorin.

Kili awoke with a jolt. Wild eyes looked around for any sign of a threat, expecting something large—perhaps Thranduil's men having come for them again—but he soon came aware of the large spiders, both on his and Fili's body.

"Hold still!" he urged at once. "Don't threaten them."

The damage, however, seemed to have been done; the spider on Fili's arm turned around quite suddenly and rubbed its abdomen against his skin. Almost at once, the spot felt like it was burning; Fili gasped, too scared to move. Kili swung a short broken branch to swipe the creature off, though he nearly forgot about those still on his own body and jumped up when one threatened to do the same thing to him. The chain between them stretched taut.

When all of the spiders seemed to be gone, scurrying off back into the bush, Kili crouched in front of Fili. "Show me," he said. "And look the other way. Don't breathe in any of the hairs."

Fili turned his head away, closing his eyes tightly. "Did it bite me? It stings," his voice trembled. "I didn't mean to freak out, but they were _all over us_." He was glad he was still on the ground because he wasn't sure his legs could support him at that moment.

"There weren't any giant spiders on the beach," Fili said, feeling shaky. "I miss the beach," he concluded. 

"It didn't bite you." Kili’s hands grabbed hold of anything that would work, settling on a large sharp green leaf snagged off the nearest bush. "What happened is it rubbed its urticating hairs against you—irritating hairs. Some people are allergic to that..." Kili smiled up at Fili and clapped him on the shoulder, "...but you, it seems, will be just fine. It'll itch for some time though." He took in a deep breath and laughed. "Good morning, I guess. Well, you gave me quite the fright." He blew on the skin to get the last hairs off, holding his own nose to make sure he didn't accidentally breathe any in himself. Then Kili fell back down. "God, we should have caught them. Would have been a good meal. They say tarantula tastes like crab meat."

Fili looked more than a little green at the prospect.

"I am never lying down on the ground out here again," he told Kili with certainty. "That was terrifying. I didn't mean to yell like that," he was clearly embarrassed. "It's just...my god, they were everywhere. I-I thought it was _you,_ touching my shoulder...my hair. That's what woke me up," he explained. He turned his eyes away from the injury and met Kili's. "I'm sorry. That was stupid."

Kili sat there and stared. He broke out of it. "I—yeah, stupid," he said with little conviction. "I wouldn't—well, obviously I wouldn't be touching you like that. Can we just, um, find that water now?"

"What I meant," Fili put his hand on Kili's arm, "was that my reaction was stupid. Screaming like a little girl when I saw those tarantulas. I wouldn't have been upset by you touching me, especially since it was my idea to practically lie on top of you all night."

He drew his feet up under him and stood up, waiting a moment to see if he was going to remain that way. "It helped me sleep," he admitted. "C'mon," he reached his hand out to help Kili to his feet.

"And you didn't thrash about," Kili reasoned for Fili, feeling better from the words. "Anyone would have done the same, I think. Doesn't mean I don't want water. And you'll still want to wash that off somewhere." It was Kili's time to look embarrassed. With a tentative tug on the chain, he asked if Fili wanted to go.

The blond readily fell in step beside him, resisting his own strong urge to take Kili's hand. His guilty thoughts flew to Thorin, who could, at that very moment, be lying dead somewhere, or was being tortured. He didn't give voice to his fears because he knew talking about Thorin made Kili uncomfortable. 

"I would love to just jump into a cold mountain lake," he said instead. "Drink my fill, cool off, be _clean_ ," he stressed. "You must find my lack of nature knowledge highly amusing. Is urticating hairs even a real thing?" he nudged the brunet with his shoulder.

"Mh, yes it is, and they're strong enough to kill smaller creatures, especially if those creatures breathe the hairs in. If you would have continued to threaten it, it might have eventually bitten you, but you know, it didn't. I would have missed having you around." Kili grinned playfully and nudged him back. "Sorry, sorry. Just playing with you there. They're not deadly. Biology major, remember? And cool mountain lakes..." he smiled like something pleased him, "good look finding those here, on a volcano. But if we actually find one, it's going to be so much better than your usual dip."

The branch he'd used to get rid of the spiders was still firmly in his unchained hand.

"I've got a question to ask, and don't say no just yet, please." Kili pointed up. "I can judge where to go best if I get up there in the highest tree around and take a look..."

"And by _I_ , you mean _we,_ of course," Fili finished his thought. He looked up at the surrounding trees. "We do what we have to do," he concluded. "We’ll have to."

"Are you okay with that?" Kili sounded surprised. "If one of us falls..." That was the downside to finding out where to go.

"You don't have to remind me," Fili said, mouth set in a grim line. "We...just have to not fall, Kili."

"Right." Kili was grinning despite the heavy subject. "We'll pick the sturdiest tree and only go up once we've eaten. Sounds good?"

Fili needn't worry, Kili was not going to let him fall. Already his eyes were scouting for food.

"I can climb," Fili assured him. "I mean, I haven't tried it since I was a kid, but I _think_ I can climb. Just maybe not with your grace and speed. I trust you. Let's try to find some water though, if we can. I need that more than food, Kili," he said. In all honestly, his thirst was starting to become uncomfortable, especially since the adrenaline rush he’d had upon wakening. His mouth felt full of cotton, and his throat sore.

Kili nodded. It didn't look like there was a lake nearby. Instead, he searched for any succulent plants. When he found one, he pulled Fili over quite unceremoniously before realizing what he was doing and giving him ease at once. "Sorry." He broke off one leaf and split that in two. "Here. It's not much, but it's a start." Inside the leaves was a moist, nutritious pulp.

The gooey insides of the plant had a distinctly vegetable taste, but Fili didn't care. Ingesting it made it easier for him to swallow and momentarily took away the dryness in his mouth. He noted the size, shape and location of the leaves just in case. He'd come to realize that without Kili's help, he'd probably die out here, or at the very least suffer horribly. Fili didn't know quite how to voice his gratitude.

"I wish Dad had let me do more stuff like this," he said instead, lamely. "You know so much. An MBA isn't of much use when you're living an episode of _Survivor._ "

Kili understood the _thank you_ that went unvoiced. He tried some of the pulp for himself. Watery, he decided, and fairly tasteless, but not bad. "Hey, when I learnt all this, I wasn't exactly expecting to have to use it one day the way we're doing now. And knowing this definitely never took me where the money is." And that meant surviving in a civilization. They both had their way of getting around. Kili smiled. They would have been the strangest match, had they gotten to know each other before Thorin came into the picture. "Feel better?"

"I won't lie. A giant glass of iced tea would really make my day," Fili smiled at him. "But this works, too. It more than works. I feel much better."

The brunet nodded in agreement and asked, "So why did you go for an MBA?"

Kili's question threw him off guard, but he tried to answer as they were walking. "It was always understood I was grooming to work for and with my dad. An MBA was the most appropriate thing to do," he shrugged one shoulder. "No one ever really asked me what I wanted to do with my life. No one until Thorin, that is," he reluctantly told Kili. "At Durinco, I feel like there's somewhere for me to _go_. To grow, "he clarified. "My father wasn't pleased when I interviewed for Thorin, as you can imagine."

"Mh," Kili acquiesced. "Sounds like your old man would have been thoroughly pissed, yes." He climbed over a set of rocks and waited for Fili. "So you sort of started with something you didn't want to do, but uncle Thorin made you like it?"

Kili reached out a hand for the last foot up, though it wasn't that necessary anymore. Fili was doing just fine on his own. Kili shortly got distracted by the moving of muscle under his skin; he reprimanded himself immediately. "So what did you want to be as a kid? I always wanted to be a fireman. Kind of silly, I guess. Everyone wanted to be a fireman."

"Astronaut," Fili smiled. "I wanted to go to space. But dad got my head out of the stars soon enough. I went to Thorin, not the other way around," Fili clarified. "When I think back to why I did it...well, it's ridiculous now," he smiled, thinking about those early days at Durinco.

"An astronaut..." Kili couldn't help but look at the sky and all that daylight covered and the night brought out once again. That would have been a wonderful thing to be. "Either way, I'm glad you didn't aim for the stars. You're good company, down here on Earth." Kili flushed at once. Not that he was lying, but perhaps actually saying it wasn't so tactful. 

“So you did apply at Durinco for a job because of your dad?" Kili wondered, pausing in front of a potential tree.

"My mother," Fili admitted, blushing a bit, "she's a very beautiful woman. Wheelchair bound—has been for almost eight years—but still, strikingly lovely. I had this fantasy of getting hired by your uncle and introducing him to my mother and having he and Mum hit it off romantically. It would have been such poetic justice for my father," he said ruefully.

"Of course, at the time, I didn't know about Thorin's preferences," he chuckled. "My plans were certainly ill-conceived. But then, he showed interest in _me._ Dad certainly wouldn't approve of that, either. But he doesn't know. I haven't spoken to him since I graduated college. I mean, if he does know, it's because he's done his own homework. Aside from the occasional wire of funds into my account, there has been no real contact."

Fili eyed the tree Kili had stopped in front of. The branches were further apart than he would have liked, and the chain connecting them suddenly seemed quite short. 

He was watched with gentle eyes. Kili didn't think it was a silly reason to take up a job. "Whatever happens," he started, "I hope you and him can make it work. We'll get him out alive." He patted the tree's bark. "Ready?"

\- - - - -

"Meatballs. And gravy."

The pale man eyed Dwalin distastefully. "That's what you want for food? You're offered anything within our ability and that's what you'll have?" He snorted. "Very well. And you?"

"Will it be hot?" Ori asked meekly. "If so, and you're able, I'd love something Italian. Lasagna, spaghetti...anything like that." His stomach gave a growl of agreement and he blushed furiously, cutting his eyes at Dwalin.

This request was met with more appreciation. "Very well. Meatballs in gravy and a plate of hot lasagna. Thank you for your time." And off the man was.

Dwalin scowled. "Who does he think he is? There's nothing wrong with my order. 'Sides, it's not like we're here because we want to be. Walking around like a damn steward..."

"Lasagna, Dwalin," Ori breathed, rolling his eyes in anticipatory pleasure. "My god, I'm so anxious to see what sort of society and settlement these folks have set up here...aren't you? I hope they soon come to stop seeing us as threats and allow us out of this room," he rubbed his stomach. "Do you suppose they're feeding Fili, Thorin and Kili as well?" he wondered. "I'd be heartbroken if they were treating them badly."

"Well, I don't assume they're offering Thorin lasagna." Because damn it, if Dwalin hadn't thought this was some sort of trick about to blow up in his face, he would have asked for a nice and large medium-rare steak. They probably had something like cow walking around here somewhere. Now Ori got the good stuff and his pride prevented him from changing his order. "Hey, you want to split? I get half your lasagna, you get half of my meatballs?"

Ori chuckled. "Sure, Dwalin; whatever you like," he offered magnanimously. He had enjoyed the past 48 hours with Dwalin immensely, despite his initial nervousness around the man. "I love meatballs as well," he smiled. "I wonder if they might bring us cold drinks? Bloody hell, I should have asked."

"Ahhh," Dwalin groaned. "Cold beer. We should have asked." He leaned back against the wall against which his bed was stationed and started peeling a leaf. For some reason, there were plenty of leaves around their cell. "Do you think they would have had cookies? The ones with chips of chocolate. I would kill for cookies." One look at Ori on his own bed and he quickly added, "Not you, of course."

"No offense, of course," Ori grinned. "I think I'd kill _you_ for a piece of cheesecake. And a huge glass of milk to wash it down."

Dwalin laughed. "Kill me with what? A ball of yarn?"

Ori leaned back on his elbows and smiled up at Dwalin from under a curtain of red hair. "Not a ball, of course. But I could easily strangle you with a length of it while you slept."

This brought a chuckle from Dwalin. Not five minutes later, as if they had been heard, a young blonde appeared with two bottles of water.

"My name's Ori," Ori said to the youth, "and he's Dwalin. What's your name?"

The man looked at them taken aback. "Why would you want to know?" He made to move away, though he stopped at the last moment and closed the door. "Legolas. That's my name. And don't think you can use that against me. You're just here so you won't be in the way. My father has no business with you two."

"Well," Ori said crisply to Dwalin after the handsome blonde had gone, "he's not very trusting, is he? And why should he be? He's been trapped here for years and he blames us."

"Not you," sounded from outside the door, where Legolas was leaning against the wall. He opened a small latch, but his face never appeared in front of it. "It's that Oakenshield. He should never have sold us the island. I waited for months, suspecting my father died. Do you know how it feels when you think your father is gone and you have no idea how to verify that?"

"It must have been terrible for you," Ori sympathized. "You felt helpless. Much like we do right now." He took in a deep breath, "But what makes you think Thorin wasn't a victim as well?"

"I don't suppose he _can_ be, considering what he's done." Legolas looked ahead of himself with a set jaw, not that Ori or Dwalin could see that. "You have nothing to do with that, I know that. We all do. But all the same, we cannot let you go. There's a reason we offer you a meal of your choice as long as we can provide it. We truly mean you no harm."

Dwalin stepped forward to look through the open aperture and voiced the question he knew Ori most wanted to ask.

"And what of the other two lads that were brought here with us—Thorin's nephew and the blond, Fili? They too are innocent. Are they in cells nearby? Are you giving them the same hospitality as us?"

"They are free," Legolas informed them. "Father willed it so. Not that that's a good thing. Perhaps they're innocent, but he has plans for them, which he doesn't for you. As soon as he has from Thorin what he wants, you'll be released." A silence. "I have a question for you. Our company...what happened to it? Do they think I'm dead, too?"

"I...I don't know," Ori _didn't_ know. He had only been with the company for six years and had no knowledge of the deal with Mirkwood, Inc., nor had he ever heard of them. He turned helplessly to Dwalin.

"The company still exists, but under a new name," Dwalin supplied. "Your father, and eventually all of you, were declared dead about two years after you vanished. Your mother," he looked at Legolas, "who was the company's major shareholder, negotiated a sale to Educomp. It's still a geological business. Nothing has changed but the name and the person who owns it. Were you to return home, I'm sure the new owner would be willing to incorporate all of you back into the business, perhaps negotiate its re-sale." 

What Dwalin didn't tell this obviously upset young man was that Educomp was the company owned by Fili's father, Vili Disson. Disson had descended opportunistically on the grieving widow and purchased Mirkwood Inc. for a song. 

But Ori was still worried about his friends. "They're...they're _free?_ " he echoed. "What does that even mean?"

"Mother thinks I'm dead?"

Legolas looked ahead, defeated. He breathed out and opened the door, which he closed again after his entrance. His eyes sought out first Dwalin, then Ori. "I...thank you for telling me. We suspected something like that might have been the case, but to have the truth, it brings resolution."

He turned to Ori. "You're Fili's friend, aren't you?" At the look, he supplied, "Oh, we know more about you than you might think. You spend a lot of time with him, and I dare say you like him more than you should. He and Kili are further inland, up the mountain. I cannot tell you where, but I can tell you that if one fails to make it back, they both will. And if they do make it back, Oakenshield might not want them back."

"Of course Thorin would want them back! They're the two most important people in his life," Ori asserted. 

"So you've just thrown them to the elements, then?" Dwalin bristled. "You _want_ them to die?"

Legolas turned to Dwalin in disdain. "I do not want anything for them. If they die, they serve their purpose. If they live, they will too. We hold no grudge against them, but we are well aware that they are his two biggest weaknesses." He sniffed at Ori. "And if you truly believe that, I believe Fili has not told you everything."

As the air grew heavier, Legolas turned. "I believe I have other places to be." He left as easily as he'd arrived, leaving only two bottles to count for the change. The door closed with a sense of finality, leaving Ori and Dwalin behind.

"Pompous arse," huffed Dwalin.

Ori's eyes were glued to the bottle of water in his hand. For long moments he was quiet, finally he turned to Dwalin. "How can we sit here, enjoying hot meals and soft beds while Thorin's being tortured and Kili and Fili are out there fending for themselves?" His eyes were full of unshed tears.

"Because it's all we _can_ do," Dwalin sighed. "Come over here; sit with me." He patted the bed and waited for the extra company. "We're stuck here, but whatever we do, it's not going to make a difference to them. We're just collateral, Ori. We shouldn't be here but we can't go. All we can do is make the best of it. If we don't eat, do you think they'll give it to Thorin or throw a breadcrumb trail for Fili and Kili? They'll just throw it away." A hand patted gently on Ori's shoulder. "We can only make sure not to starve for when they do need us."

"I'm glad you're here with me, Dwalin," Ori confided, slipping closer to the older man, taking solace in the closeness of another human being he trusted and admired. "Very, very glad."

\- - - - - 

Every time Thorin managed to doze off, a painful tug at his shoulder joints reminded him quickly of his precarious bound position.

It was maddening to be deprived of sleep. Did Thranduil think that keeping him here, like this, was going to somehow jog his memory? It only served to frighten him, driving his brain into gridlock. 

He tried, in vain, to recall the details of the transaction with Thranduil in those hazy weeks after Thrain had died. He had been drinking often, supplementing with sleeping pills at night. He had been, for all intents and purposes, a zombie. He'd performed poorly, a puppet. He'd let Balin, Dwalin and Dori do most of the work and only signed a few papers, which he barely read.

He had failed the company. His closest colleagues, his nephew and the man he loved, were in peril. Nine people were dead. Countless more were trapped on a remote island. He deserved this.

"You do."

It was the voice rather than the footsteps that drew Thorin's attention, but when he looked up, Thranduil was right there in a smattering of white and oil lamp light, closer than should be.

"Oh, you've given quite the speech, if you haven't figured that out until now. Almost makes me feel sad for you. But then I remember who you are, and that sadness evaporates easily. You must be hungry."

"I am," Thorin admitted. "But, more than that, I'm concerned about my colleagues...my nephew," he met Thranduil's eyes. "How does he fare?"

"Oh, did you not hear? Your nephew is free to go as he pleases. As is your partner." Thranduil canted his head and smiled in that mirthless way. "I do wonder how far they'll make it."

Thorin didn't look away. If anything, his gaze intensified. "They'll make it," he assured his smug captor. "They're better men than I am."

"Oh." Thranduil feigned contrition. "Did I not mention it? They're bound together, days from the beach. If they walk the right direction, that is. Have you thought long and hard about the island and its lore, Thorin? Can you give me what I want?"

Thorin tried not to give too much thought to what Thranduil had meant by _bound together._ Instead, he said, "I am sure you recall far more from that particular time than I do, Thranduil. My father had died. I was reeling from that, and the responsibility of running a company was also being thrust upon me. Up until that point, I never really understood what it entailed. That entire affair—the negotiations with Mirkwood Inc., the contracts—it's hazy for me," he admitted. "I was taking valium, drinking," Thorin confessed. "I was only there with you in body, I assure you. My men held my hand through the entire thing. I was no more a part of the process than those nine people who perished in the plane crash," he said sadly. "I honestly do not know what I can tell you that will help your cause, or my own."

Thranduil waved his hand about as he looked him over. "It's in there, and if it is, I will get it out." He reached for a lever and pulled it, dropping the chain that kept Thorin's shackles up. "Either way, you're no help to us like this. The sight of you is pathetic. Get yourself cleaned up. I'll have you brought some food, and then we'll try a different approach. Valium, you said?"

"I wasn't sleeping," Thorin admitted from his hunched position on the floor, wincing in pain as his arms protested their new, free position. " I-I couldn’t. The doctors said I was depressed. They gave me valium to help...well, to help cope, I suppose," he frowned. "I took them for a few months, then stopped. I couldn't keep my head clear at work." He experimentally flexed his fingers, elbows and shoulders, pain evident on his face, despite how he tried to hide it from the other man.

Feet stopped in his line of vision, and Thranduil crouched. "Yes," he sighed, pleased, "valium is going to do just fine. Get your rest, Thorin Oakenshield. You might not need it where I'm taking you, but let it not be said I treat my prisoners poorly, even those who do deserve it." He snapped his fingers and another man came walking in, carrying a plate of stale bread and a tin mug of staler water. Thranduil sat down on a chair in the corner, his legs folded.

"Eat."

Thorin reached immediately for the water, but his fingers, numb from hours of confinement, had trouble getting a grip on the small mug. Resolutely and slowly, he took it between two hands and brought it to his lips. 

It tasted like heaven.

"Thank you, Thranduil," he remembered to thank his captor. 

The bread was a more challenging proposition. Clearly, it had been left to sit out and become stale just for him. He ate it nonetheless; he hadn't eaten in two days and he needed his strength.

As he chewed, chasing the nearly inedible bread with sips of water, he imagined Fili sitting on one side and Kili on the other, smiling their encouragement. Fili's eyes were warm, not judging him for what he'd done back then, but encouraging him, still, to make amends. Kili's eyes were full of fire, urging him to fight to survive—for all of them.

He could do that. He could do all of that.

The room was filled with only silence and the sound of eating. Thranduil thought it was pitiful, to see the once mighty CEO of Durinco down on his knees, begging for crumbs. He looked at a mirror that had before appeared opaque and a man came walking in once again, this time with a proper plate.

"I spent the last eight years going back to the start," Thranduil spoke when he was gone, and decent food was placed before Thorin. "We had to reinvent how to bake bread. Sure, we knew it was possible, but none of us knew the mechanics. We had to learn how to breed cattle, how to build a settlement…you'd be surprised what man takes for granted in everyday life. You also learn how little money is truly worth. Numbers, merely a virtual statistic in a database. I don't seek to return to a world as corrupt as that, but neither do I wish to be stay caged here. I am a simple human being, Thorin. I want a choice."

"I want to help you get to that point, Thranduil," Thorin reminded him. "This is...for me?" He eyed the plate of seemingly normal, innocuous food suspiciously. 

"Of course it's for you. Taste it. We spent years improving on it." Thranduil was nothing if not patient.

Thorin was hungry, but he was also wary. Why bring him stale bread and water as an appetizer if they'd planned to bring him actual food all along?

But he knew the answer. Thranduil wanted him humbled. Had he passed some sort of test...or was this food poisoned?

Then, the smell wafted to him and he lost his resolve. He reached down and picked up what appeared to be a perfectly normal cheeseburger—although the bread didn't have a distinct factory shape. He took a bite. The juicy taste of beef exploded on his tongue and he nearly moaned in pleasure. After a second bite, he put down the unexpected treat.

"You've made strides," he told Thranduil. "It's quite delicious." 

Thranduil smiled mildly and inclined his head. "Much better than it is out there, is it not?" He was visibly proud of what he'd managed in his years on the island. "Now," he started, "you must think nothing of it. You still hold answers, even if you probably don't think you do, yourself, and I intend on breaking them out."

 _Breaking them out._ The phrase made it sound as if his head were just an egg waiting to be cracked. For all he knew, it was.

He was more curious to hear of how Thranduil and his company had thrived. What had they brought with them? How had they worked together? That, in and of itself, was a miracle.

Thorin picked up the sandwich and took another few bites, hoping that Kili and Fili too had found food...wherever they were.

\- - - - 

The view was indescribable. Fili clung tightly to the branch in front of him, as the height was dizzying in and of itself.

"Wow," he breathed to Kili, and that seemed to sum it up. _Wow, what a view. Wow, we made it up here without dying. And, wow, what the fuck do we do next?_

If he was concerned about any plans, Kili was quick to help him out. He laughed exhilarated at Fili's response, nodded wildly, and wanted to touch his shoulder or his cheek in order to fully communicate what he was trying to say. Kili decided against that, but it was a hard choice. "Hold on tight," he called out, before his eyes finally scanned the surroundings. Behind them rose the slopes of the mountain; that way was not going to be their path. In front, only jungle stretched out, with a few imperfections in the green here and there.

That was what Kili focused on. Latching his legs around the branch and looping one arm around another for support, he pointed to their north-west. "The beach is closest if we go that way. But over there," and his arm moved a few hours on the clock, "it looks like there's a clearing. I can't really see that well, but it could be grasslands. If I were to live on an island, that's the first place I wanted to have. Our best guess at the others is probably there."

Fili looked longingly in the direction of the beach. It promised safety, no tarantulas and the possibility of meeting up with the company members still at the fuselage. But the clearing...well, they could be cut free of one another and, more importantly, be reunited with Ori, Dwalin and Thorin.

"The clearing, then?" Fili asked of Kili. "Find Thorin and our captors. Get some answers?" _Get out of this god-forsaken tree,_ he thought, but didn't voice. Muscles he'd never knew existed were screaming in protest at their past hour's activity. He was so thirsty he felt he couldn’t bear it.

"That's where you want to go?" Kili asked him more quietly. He took directions from the sun and tried to get the direction right for when they were going to be back on the ground, with less of a view to fall back on. Once again, just to be safe, he mapped his surroundings, but the sooner they got back on the ground, the safer he would feel. Kili didn't mind climbing trees alone, though when he was responsible for the safety of someone else, it made things different.

He tugged the chain lightly. It had become his way of getting Fili's attention without actually touching him. "I've seen enough. We'd better get down."

Fili wasn't afraid of heights, but he did have a healthy respect for the danger of falling. Climbing down, he reasoned, would be far easier, but it would be also easier for him to let down his guard, and he wasn't about to do that. They'd run into a small monkey and two snakes on the way up, and they would surely be there on the way down as well.

At least there had been no spiders.

He was beginning to feel like a pet on a leash, and the feeling increased each time Kili gave the chain connecting their wrists a tug. It was almost as if—and then it dawned on him: _Kili didn't want to touch him._ Or couldn't bear to. Either way, it hurt.

Thankfully, the fifteen-minute climb down occupied his time and his mind, so he didn't give too much thought to being attached to someone who—despite their similarities and all they'd shared over the past weeks—was still uncomfortable around him.

And Kili, Kili had no clue. As they made it down, one careful branch after another—it was much easier to fall on the way down, and he'd hurt himself many a time already—he paid little attention to Fili other than where he moved and where that put the chain between them. Kili always made sure to move exactly the right way to prevent a troublesome situation.

He was careful not to jump the last few feet to the ground, either, because if he fell, that would topple Fili as well. One foot after the other, soil became a constant under his feet again. In response to safety, Kili let out an elated sigh. "Made it! We did it! I l—" he coughed, "—I think there's a stream not too far from here. Race you there?"

Fili gave him an incredulous look, resisting the urge to kiss the ground they'd landed on. " _Race_ me?" his legs felt like jelly. "How about you carry me?" he grinned. But the prospect of water had him eager. "Which way?"

The north called. Kili sat down with a grin, patting the ground next to him. "Ten minutes. Then I'll race you." He had expected them to encounter more trouble. Climbing a tree this size with someone he had no idea of could be having a fear of heights, well, it had been a risk. "You're a good climbing partner," Kili praised him. "That went really well." He looked up at the sky overhead, or what he could see of it, then closed his eyes. "I think it'll take us a day or two to reach the clearing."

Fili was instantly concerned. It wasn't often that Kili was the one asking to rest. Not that he minded necessarily. His legs barely supported him as he sank down next to the other man. 

Once he was down, the tiredness, coupled with the previous night's lack of sleep, seemed to catch up with him. He yawned. "Wake me in ten minutes?" he asked the brunet, feeling sleep beckon like a siren song. He leaned back against the tree, right shoulder just brushing against Kili's. 

It wasn't long before his head had slipped to Kili's shoulder and he'd fallen sound asleep.


	16. You Just Get Pulled Under

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili finally discovers something Kili is afraid of. Thorin remembers something he had forgotten.

They lay there for a considerably longer time than ten minutes. When Kili opened his eyes again, the sun was already sinking. He groaned and tugged Fili, though he wanted to lie still and just be able to enjoy the feeling of having Fili asleep against him a bit longer. "Fee," he tried, "hey. Wake up. We need to move."

They weren't crawling with spiders this time around, but they had to stop falling asleep at the same time. In an environment such as this one, next time it wouldn't be spiders, but something worse.

Much against his will Kili got up and stretched. He managed to get Fili awake enough to walk, and that was how they made their way closer to the clearing. Once or twice they nearly tripped, and that woke them up all right. By the time the sound of rushing water reached Kili and his eyes widened, they were well awake, and night was falling. He couldn't help it; he cursed.

"What's wrong, Kili?" Fili asked him, finally feeling refreshed after their lengthy nap in the shade. "We're desperate for water. Is it so wrong to travel at night instead of during the day?" He started towards the sound of the stream.

"That's a waterfall," Kili chewed on his lip. It took one look at him to know he didn't like that. "If there's a waterfall, there's running water. Fili, this is a bad idea."

"Fresh water?" the blond wondered. "Water we can drink?"

Kili looked at him. "...Probably. I don't want to go there, Fili. Please, let's just get water and not take a bath."

Fili's thirst was so powerful it was just shy of painful, especially since their climb. "All right," he looked questioningly at Kili. "You would know best. It wouldn't be much fun being swept over a waterfall. But...god, a drink would be heavenly, Kee."

The closer they got to the water, the less comfortable Kili appeared to be. As they stepped out of the jungle and into the open space of what was not a wild river, like the sound had predicted, but a black lake with a thunderous waterfall, there was little ease in his posture. "Go on," Kili mumbled. "Get a drink."

"It's safe drinking water you think, right?" Fili wondered, concerned at Kili's unease. "I'm afraid you _have_ to come with me." It was Fili, this time, who tugged gently but firmly at the chain. "So thirsty...aren't you?"

Right. The chain. Kili hesitated, though he got up. "It's safe, I think it is. It's not like we have a lot of choice, do we? It's this, or die of thirst." What was meant to be a joke came out weakly. The truth was, Kili hated waters like this, wild and unpredictable. He hated waterfalls. He hated the black depths into which the water plunged, rendering anyone in it powerless. Not that he would admit to that to anyone.

So Kili walked along until they reached the edge. He cupped his hands and drank to put Fili at ease. "It's okay, come on." _The faster we'll be done with it._

"If only we had a canteen or something to carry water with us," Fili looked around at their surroundings after taking a good long drink of the cool water. "We might not have this chance again for several days."

"Do you...I mean, would you be okay if we got in?" he asked Kili. "Or, at the very least, if I did? You said I should probably wash this spidery spot on my arm," he reminded him. "Truth be told, I'm just disgustingly dirty. You are too," he smiled.

"I'm not."

He was. Even Kili knew that. There were patches of dirt on his knees, his hair was getting tangled and then there was the heat. Fili wasn't going to find out that all those things were preferred over getting in that lake with the waterfall. He hated himself when he muttered, "And you should wash it. How do we do that? We can't take our shirts off because of this chain."

"I guess," Fili suggested, "that we just get in, clothing and all. Laundry and a bath, all in one fell swoop. It'll be like mountain climbing—a bath, roped together for safety. You look a little nervous, Kili. I'll be with you," Fili assured him. "I have no choice, and I’m a good swimmer," he smiled.

"Can I at least remove that which I can?"

Kili started on his jeans-turned-shorts. The edges were fraying and wouldn't last another month, but they were his favorite jeans. He did keep his boxers on, for obvious reasons, and praised his sharpness of the mind that he had decided not to go commando when they went looking for the others.

"Go on, I'll be behind you."

The waters looked like the maul of a giant predator.

"All right," Fili agreed, eyeing the water greedily. He kicked off his sneakers and socks, but didn't remove anything else, figuring they'd be walking a bit after this and everything would dry quickly once a breeze picked up. He stepped gently down into the water. The temperature was perfect. "Oh, Kili," he sighed. "It feels incredible." The sensation gave him a not unpleasant flashback to skinny dipping in the ocean with Ori, which he pushed to the back of his mind. "Watch your step," he cautioned the brunet, moving further into the water until it was up to their waists.

The ground under them was slippery from pebbles tumbled in the water to a perfectly smooth surface. Where the waterfall allowed it and the currents were less strong, plants had begun to peek out. The temperature _was_ perfect, thought Kili; not the icy cold that somehow he expected. He looked up at the waterfall, then to Fili's back and the chain between them. If Fili wanted further, he would have to come along too. Already bad memories were rushing back to him, visible in the way his breathing picked up and his eyes became skittish.

"Fili..." he whispered. "Fili, I want to go back."

Any further towards the waterfall and he'd—

Kili's foot touched nothing at his next step.

Fili, entranced by the waterfall and the idea of standing under it and getting clean, didn't hear Kili's pleas. In fact, he didn't notice the brunet was in any sort of distress until he felt the tug of the chain at his wrist as Kili slipped beneath the placid surface of the water behind him.

A hand flailed under water and nearly caught hold of Fili's leg, but lost his grip when Kili's knee bumped hard against a rock and he cried out, unintentionally taking in large gulps of water. The chain between them stood taut, nearly dragging Fili under. 

"Kili!" Fili cried out, pulling up with his manacled arm in hopes of bringing his fellow captive to his feet. When that didn't work, he followed the chain down with his left hand and got a solid grip on Kili's left hand, pulling him upward and towards him as he dug his feet into the lagoon's bed for traction.

Kili's face, when it appeared above the surface, was pale in the dim light of sundown.

For a long, painful moment, Kili seemed not to be breathing. Then he gasped, choked on water in his throat and started coughing. Immediately the pain in his knee made itself present. With eyes wide, Kili looked around and started scrambling for the shore. He forgot he was connected to Fili and had to drag his weight along if he meant to reach the edge of the lake on his own strength.

"Get out," he panted, frightful. "Get out!"

Fili felt as if his heart had stopped. "Kili!" he cried, rushing after the traumatized man. "What happened? Is there something in the water? Are you hurt?"

He finally caught up with the brunet after he'd flopped down, heaving on the shore. Fili knelt next to him, examining him for injuries.

Kili's eyes were hateful when he glared at the water. "Waterfall." He hissed when Fili's hands brushed a hand across his knee and the wound on it. "Don't make me go in there again. I'll sit on the edge if you want to take a bath but I won't—won't—" He hiccoughed.

And then he was crying.

Fili, for a brief moment, was frozen. This courageous nature expert who had been Fili's source of stability for weeks...was afraid of the waterfall?

The knee, already turning an angry shade of red, was sure to bruise and had to hurt like hell.

"Oh, Kili," he apologize. "I'm so, so sorry," he pulled Kili to a sitting position and embraced him in an attempt to comfort his trembling friend. "I didn't know. I'm sorry." He stroked Kili's hair and back, rocking with him gently. 

God, what had happened to Kili to make him scared of water like that?

Wet fabric stuck to skin as Kili burrowed his face against Fili's shoulder. He was being ridiculous, he knew that, and any time now he had to stop crying. The problem was that he simply couldn't stop. Every time he thought he had himself under control, the sound of the waterfall came back to him and he felt himself breaking down all over again.

"Sorry," he muttered. "I just, I—sorry. You really wanted to get into the water. Sorry I ruined it for you."

Slowly, with hands fisting into Fili's shirt, Kili quieted, until he closed his eyes and took deep breaths.

"Look at me," he mocked himself. "It's just a fucking waterfall."

"You're shaking like mad," Fili only held him tighter. "Something's unnerved you. The water," he looked out over what, to him, seemed a perfectly lovely lagoon with a romantic waterfall. Even now, he longed to go back in. But he wouldn't. Kili's reaction had terrified him, too.

"What is it, Kili? What's got you so upset?" He put a comforting hand on the side of Kili's face and looked him square in the eye. "Talk to me."

Kili hadn't looked Fili in the eye for a while, not really. He latched on this time, still panting, still not cleansed of his fear as his hand gripped Fili.

"I thought it'd be fine," he whispered quietly. "It's been so long ago, and you really wanted a bath."

The last light slowly seeped out of the world from between the trees and the vines. Kili slowly calmed down. He gripped Fili's hand and leaned against it.

"Ever tried to get out of the water and you couldn't?"

Fili shook his head. "No...I...no," he told the other. "Did something like that happen to you?"

His eyes scanned the area. They'd have to start a fire soon. It wasn't cold yet...but Kili was shaking as if he might go into shock.

"It's worst where the currents are strongest. You just get pulled under. You try and you try, but there's nothing you can do. Waterfalls cause currents that are impossible to escape." Not this waterfall, which looked fairly innocent, save for the noise it made, but to Kili, the memories were the same. "I nearly drowned. Just before mum and dad died. I'm cold, Fili."

It was what Fili had expected to hear. Surely something tragic had occurred to make Kili so upset. The chain, of course, necessitated they be close to one another, but Fili moved closer still, enfolding him in his arms again, encouraging him to rest his head on his shoulder. 

"That must have been horrible," Fili tried to relate to the feeling of helplessness that he could only match with the terror he felt when the plane was going down, or when he was being throttled by Thranduil's goons. "You were so young. Not more than fourteen, I imagine."

"Fourteen," Kili nodded. He took long, deep breaths to calm himself and it seemed to be working, but his knee did not stop throbbing. If he had pulled himself together in time, none of this would have happened. Kili had panicked, with a sorely bruised knee as a result. "Sorry, again. I'm going to be slowing us down."

"Slow is safer," Fili reminded him. "You taught me that, remember?" Fili reached down to the hem of his t-shirt and began ripping, until the item of clothing was removed, effectively, around the manacle. He folded it up and slipped it under Kili's knee for support. He tried to stay calm, but was alarmed at how quickly Kili's knee appeared to be swelling. "Do you suppose anything's broken?" he asked

"I don't think so." Kili tried to move his knee. It hurt, but it was not impossible. "Probably just a bruise. I should cool it and keep it moving..." He eyed the water and knew that it was his best option. Kili scowled. He lay down frustrated and looked up.

"I miss them."

He turned to Fili and tried to move his knee. Kili groaned.

Fili had seen pictures of Kili's parents in Thorin's office and in his home. His mother had been tall and beautiful with Thorin's ice blue eyes. Kili's dark eyes had come from his father, who'd had a swarthier, but more accessible look about him. Fili had never seen a photo of him where he wasn't smiling as if he were the happiest man alive. He probably was.

"Of course you do," Fili put a firm hand on his knee, cautioning him to keep still. "To lose your parents just as you're about to enter adulthood yourself like that. I can't imagine Thorin was a very good substitute. Not at all," he smiled sympathetically. "But it's clear they taught you well. What a wonderful person you are, Kili."

Fili followed Kili's gaze back to the water. "I'm not going to make you go back in there," he assured him. "But I may have to move you a bit. We need to build a fire, which, thankfully, I can do, thanks to you. But gathering the wood might be a challenge with us joined at the hip."

The kind words were appreciated; the offer at a distraction more so. Starting about his parents had opened up a well of memories, from his worried mother when Kili had woken up after the two-day coma, to his father as he looked so proud at Kili helping build the shed. Kili had stopped being that wonderful person after the car crash.

Kili tried to get up. "Firewood, right. I'll try. I mean, I can't stay here and—" The pain that shot through him forced him back down. He clenched his jaws and tried again, though tears threatened to fall.

"I don't want you to get up," Fili cautioned him, a hand on his chest keeping him in place. "But can you use your eyes for me? When I move you, I want to do it as little as possible. Where's the best place for the kind of wood we need?"

Kili opened his mouth to protest and closed it again. He scanned their surroundings. The water from the lake would be drained into the roots of the closest trees. Kili batted away a mosquito. The trees further away were best, but he wasn't going to make it there. That left them with dry leaves. "There. Just enough to get us dry, that's the best we can do tonight."

Fili cursed the person who had thought up their fate...chained together, totally dependent on one another. He'd be hard pressed not to cause Kili pain while he gathered what they'd need.

Still, he tried not to. "Grab that shirt," he asked of the younger man, indicating the t-shirt he had put under Kili's knee. "Luckily it's the leg between our attached hands that's hurt. You can use me as a crutch, can't you? I won't let you fall," he said, easily reading the concern in Kili's eyes. "Put your right foot flat on the ground," Fili advised. "You're going to use it to push off. "Left leg—the hurt one—stays a little bent. I'm going to pull you up and move in under your left armpit, so be ready. Are you ready?"

How long had it been since Kili had had to depend on someone? He braced himself. "Ready. Do it."

The pull up hurt; the tug on his leg was worse. Kili ground his teeth and held back a sound until he was fully upright. He looked at Fili. He looked so determined to get this done, so bent on making it work, that Kili's heart swelled. "Thanks. You don't have to do this." He smiled gently with a pinch of pain around the edges. "Right, let's get going, because I can't keep this up for long."

"I've got you," the blond assured him, tightening his grip around Kili's waist. "Lean on me as hard as you need to. We collect a small, but serviceable, pile of kindling and extra firewood, in case your knee takes a turn for the worst. Then, we hunker down next to a big tree and light the fire." Fili caught his eye, "My legs are fine. I can carry you if I have to, Kili. Let's get this over with, okay?"

"Mh," Kili agreed. He followed Fili to the best of his ability, pointing out branches wherever he saw suitable ones, and within ten minutes they'd found enough to last themselves a night. That turned out to be for the best, because as soon as Kili sat down, his leg started throbbing again. He stretched it and bent it carefully. The distraction of watching Fili make a fire was a welcome one.

When the warmth enveloped them, he sighed blissfully and sat back. Most of all, Kili tried not to think of the hand on his waist, or the generally increased proximity. He flushed when he remembered the pressure of Fili's fingertips and found himself glad for the warm glow of the fire that concealed it.

"We went out fishing on a trip in Norway," he started. "Dad, one of his friends, and me. We found the perfect spot near a waterfall, lots of salmon, lots of rocks. I caught a big one on my hook and we weren't supposed to get into the water, but that fish was going to be the catch of the day, no doubt about it. Dad and Jerry didn't stop me when I waded into the water, but I slipped and got lost in the current."

Kili took a breath.

"It was still shallow there, so you'd think it wouldn't be too hard to get back on your feet. I was powerless. The water dragged me to the waterfall, threw me down it, and pushed me under where it was much deeper. I couldn't see anything and I was tossed around so many times that I couldn't tell up from down. It's a horrible feeling to gulp down water because there's no air in your lungs left and think that it's going to be your end. When they found me, washed up ashore because of dumb luck, I wasn't breathing. I was in a coma for two days."

Kili's story filled Fili with dread and remorse. "Oh, Kili," he put his hand over his friend's. "If only I'd have known. But...you never said anything. Not when we were swimming. That was so callous of me, dragging you in there like that." Fili felt absolutely terrible. The thought of Kili in a coma terrified him further. "It must have been...awful. Worse than the plane crash. You were _alone._ "

"I was alone in the plane crash." Kili's hand drew faintly into the soil. This ground was not like the beach, and the irregularity of leaves, roots and dirt soon made him stop. "I just thought you should know. I'm sorry. I panicked and look where it got us." He looked wryly at his leg.

"I..." Fili began, then paused, "Ori said—you two were sitting together when the plane went down. That he was so glad you were there with him. But, I get it. When it comes to facing death, even in a crowd, we're still, in truth, alone, aren't we? So, I have this," he crooked a finger into his sock and pulled out a small Ziploc bag. "It's the last two of Bombur's happy pills. How about I break one in half and you have some restful, pain-free dreams?" the blond smiled down at him, quickly setting the bag aside before Kili could get another look at its contents.

"Alone like your parents are gone, and there's no-one you belong with," Kili said sadly. "I'm glad Ori was there though, if only because I would have been killed if I'd been in my original spot." A smile reappeared. "He's impossible not to like." His eyes went for the pill and then up at Fili. "You were keeping them? I never saw you pack any. Does Bombur know?"

"He knows," Fili smiled. "He gave them to me back when my shoulder was bad. I saved them, just in case. And here we are needing them. But only half, all right?" Fili suggested. "Enough to take the pain away and help you rest. Don't want you too loopy, in case we need to—well, whatever we might need to do."

The pill, kept dry in the bag, snapped audibly. "You can swallow it, chew it, dissolve it..." Fili offered. "After a few moments, the taste won't bother you so much," he smiled, slipping the dry half capsule between Kili's lips.

Like Kili was already feeling its effects, the lips parted slowly, and not nearly fast enough to accept the capsule without trouble. Kili questioned Fili with a confusion writ in his expression. He could have just handed it over, and Kili would have taken it himself. Now, caught off guard, it took a second before he took in the pill, and a long second longer before his lips unwrapped from around Fili's finger.

While unintentional, Kili knew he'd done something wrong. He pulled away and averted his face. "I should try to get some sleep."

"Yeah," Fili chuckled nervously, "you should." He fidgeted for a moment, fluffing up the shirt propping up Kili's injury, all the while anxious about the fact that it was his shirt and he was naked from the waist up. 

Kili's dark eyes followed his every move. "Don't you worry a bit, Kili," he assured him. "I won't be falling asleep." He leaned over their kindling pile and picked up a decent sized stick. "I'll be sitting here guarding you. Any creature, insect or person coming within a four foot radius of you will get a sound thrashing."

Kili smiled at him. "You're the best." He curled into a ball facing away from Fili smoothly, only to stare into the nothingness as soon as he knew Fili couldn't see it. Kili's heart was hammering in his chest and he cursed himself. But oh, what _if_? What if there was no shame in doing what he had done? He longed to kiss him again, to have the other's hands on—

No. Thranduil's schemes had done enough.

Kili almost cried again when the extent of that one kiss was beginning to reveal itself. He forced his eyes shut, his turmoil shielded from Fili, and waited for the medicine to kick in.

It was blissful when it did.

When Kili rolled away from him, Fili leaned over to take the neglected shirt. He battled with trying to paste it together and put it back on, to stave off the night's chill, but then he changed his mind, tucking it under Kili's head so he'd be more comfortable. His hand lingered for a few seconds in Kili's hair and he felt a compelling urge to give him assurance, to comfort that little boy who'd nearly drowned, then lost both his parents not long after. 

"I'm here," he leaned over and kissed Kili softly on the temple. "You're not alone now."

\- - - - -

"Ready?"

Thranduil didn't really care if Thorin was ready or not. He sat back and eyed Thorin who sat chained on the ground, dangling a syringe from his right index finger. He could be letting someone else do it, but he couldn't think of anyone he'd rather see sink that needle into Thorin than himself.

"I can't promise you it will be entirely pleasant, though you'll probably take some enjoyment out of it, considering why you used before. It'll be over before you know it."

The syringe picked up, Thranduil rose and advanced. He grabbed Thorin's chin to make him look up and regretted it quickly. "Remind me to give you a bath after this is done. Hold up your arm."

"I didn't _use_ before," Thorin scowled. "It was prescribed, and I stopped after three months. I also fail to see how sedating me is going to accomplish anything." Still, he did as Thranduil asked and offered up his arm, if only to have the valium transport him somewhere else for awhile.

As soon as weightlessness took over, the door unlocked and two men took Thorin away from the cellar in which he'd been kept. He hardly registered the dark corridors or the sudden blinding sunlight when they moved through a beautifully cultivated pasture back into the jungle to what looked like a fortified compound.

That was where Thranduil left him, tied to a stretcher while projections burned themselves into his retina. Most of them were footage from the deal being sealed, the first steps on the island, but others were more upsetting. They were cut so sharply that soon everything blurred together into a maddening cacophony.

When the valium's effects wore off, the door opened once again and admitted another man, one whom Thorin had not seen before. He took his seat on a safe distance and asked, though the footage kept playing, "What is your name?"

When Thorin had been taking valium all those years ago, they had been small blue pills. The effects were subtle, not like the roller coaster ride Thranduil's injection took him on. He didn't question why the men on the other side of the island had so much—drugs, food, electricity—once it took hold. He watched the old footage as if through gauze, saddened by the appearance of his younger self. He looked shell-shocked, as if he'd just come home from the war.

He stood with Dori, Balin and Dwalin, shaking hands with Thranduil and some of his people. He vaguely remembered that day.

\- - - - 

"This group of papers," Thorin lay the small pile in front of his most trusted advisors, "it's odd."

Dwalin eyed the pile with interest. The pages were beginning to yellow with age. "What are they?" he wondered.

"They were brought to me by Thranduil," Thorin told them. "Apparently, long ago my grandfather's father tried to begin a mining operation on the island we are handing them."

"You don't say," Balin sat forward, eyes glittering. "This is the first I'd heard of it." 

Thorin had known Balin all his life. He was lying. "Really, Balin?" Thorin smiled for the first time in days.

"Threrin had big dreams, apparently," Balin told them. "I never met the man, of course. I'm old, but he was way before mine, and Dori's, time. He spent a few years abroad prospecting. This particular island, which, as you can see based on the paperwork, he named Mithril Island.”

"What are all these mechanical drawings?" Dori wanted to know. He _was_ seeing the information for the first time and was fascinated.

"Threrin was a bit of an inventor," Balin told them. "He took a team along with him and they built a number of machines for excavation and testing, that sort of thing, on the island. They're probably still there," he said casually. "Look, Thorin," he turned to the young CEO, "these papers only confirm that the island is viable. Have you read them?"

"Yes, mostly," Thorin told him. And he had. But they were mostly schematics of machines of indescribable size, some of which it appeared were meant to be underground. "The crest is the key." He said, seemingly out of nowhere.

"What's that now?" Balin's head shot up.

"It's on the bottom of one of the pages," Thorin reached into the pile and pulled out the folded up schematic for what might have been the largest of the machines. "See?" He pointed at what was probably his great-grandfather's own handwriting.

_The crest is the key._ It said, clearly. "I wonder what it means."

"He was insane," Dori shrugged. "Have you seen his journals?"

"Well, yes... I..." Thorin began. 

"We need to move forward with this, Thorin," Balin put a cautioning hand on his arm, "We can't let the ravings of one crazy man stop a mutually beneficial transaction."

"But, Balin," Thorin protested, "we don't even know what half these machines do."

"They're nearly a century old," Dori frowned. "They probably don't _do_ anything anymore. Still, I'd like to see them."

"And you will, friend," Balin assured him, "when we visit Thranduil on the island."

Dwalin could tell Thorin wasn't satisfied, but just then a small dark head poked through the door of the conference room.

"Uncle?" the tentative voice asked. "I got worried. I couldn't find you."

Thorin's eyes immediately both simultaneously softened and drew together. "He's been worried since we lost his parents," he told the others quietly, "of losing me too."

"Kili, my boy!" Dwalin's voice boomed out, and he held out a hand to welcome the young man into the conference room. "Come sit. There's at least seven donuts left here, lad."

"Thank you, Mr. Dwalin," Kili timidly sat at Dwalin's side and the big man slid the plate of donuts towards them. Kili didn't take one until Dwalin did first.

"Let's get this over with," Thorin turned to Dori and Balin, pulling out his pen. "He needs me more than this Thranduil character does." His eyes met Dwalin's across the table and he saw the approval there.

_Get it done,_ the gaze told him. 

He got it done, and done quickly.

That had been a huge mistake.

\- - - - 

"I'm Thorin Oakenshield," Thorin told the mysterious man across from him. "My great-grandfather was responsible for..." what exactly _was_ he responsible for? "He explored here, long ago," he settled on.

"Mr. Oakenshield, can you tell me your great-grandfather's name?"

The man calmly took his notes. He added to the stereotype by pushing his glasses up his nose and tucked a strand of pale blond hair behind his ears. His oddly brown eyes looked at Thorin, who did not see him. Thranduil was going to be pleased already.

"His name was Threrin. Threrin Oakenshield," Thorin told him, straining to see the person he was talking to. "He was an inventor. He built machines."

The sharp backlight disabled him from seeing his interviewer, who gave the projections the chance to work their way into Thorin again, before he fired his next question.

"What kinds of machines did he build, Mr. Oakenshield? Excavation machines?"

"Yes, of course," Thorin muttered. "We're a mining family. I only got to see his schematics once...many years ago, and only for a brief time. I'm not sure all of them were for digging," he confessed. "But I didn't follow up on what they were capable of."

"And what do you believe them to be for instead? Do you have any ideas? Could you tell me more about these schematics?"

_Tell the truth,_ Fili's mysterious advice rang in his ears. And why not? What did he have to lose now? What did he have to protect? Everything he cared about was gone.

"They were old," he told the unseen interrogator. "Yellowed around the edges. Some were obviously for excavating, but others...they seemed more _complicated._ He had handwritten notes all over them."

The man glanced once at the mirror to the left, sat straight and nodded. They were getting further than they'd been with him before, and Thorin still cooperated without a hint of coercion. The valium had done its job well.

"They were plans for machines that were never built, weren't they? Do you remember what they said?"

Thorin closed his eyes for a brief moment and could feel the helplessness of his situation closing in on him. He had felt a similar despair that day in the board room, surrounded by his closest advisors.

"They had dates on them...various dates between the 1920s and 30s," he recalled. "But there's no way of knowing if they were ever built. But, if they were, they are on this island," he told the man, recalling the enormity of the largest schematic. "The crest is the key," he whispered, wrinkling his brow.

A long silence filled the room, terminated when the man, perplexed, turned off the projection and the light and bathed them in darkness. His voice was crystalline sharp and pure when he spoke.

"The crest is the key?"

"I..." Thorin raised his head, "did I _say_ that? I seem to recall reading it on one of the large drawings. But I don't know what it means."

"But you remember what else was on the paper, do you not? It could be the Oakenshield crest."

"The machine looked like it was meant to be placed underground," Thorin told him. "How can a crest be a key to anything? It's a drawing."

"Keep thinking. How _can_ a crest be a key? Are there any heirlooms in your family that contain a crest? Perhaps at one point you wanted to get rid of one and were told not to, very emphatically? Is there a chance there is a key in your possession with a crest on it? One handed down from your great-grandfather?"

Thorin knew then exactly what the key was.

_His ring._ The ring he’d given to Fili the night before they were captured.


	17. The Crest is the Key

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Kili "come clean" about their feelings for each other. Thorin's ring finds its proper home.

Thorin shuddered. After his father had died, he'd come into possession of a ring of very light metal with the Durin family crest on it—a tree, on a shield, carved with incredible craftsmanship. The metal was solid, light, beautiful. His father's instructions were to never take it off. And he hadn't, until...

“Well?” his interrogator asked again.

"I...nothing I can think of," he told his captor. "Nothing comes immediately to mind."

The man took off his glasses and leaned his head to the left. He sighed. "I am aware you're not telling me the whole truth, Mr. Oakenshield. Please do not withhold information from us, or I'm afraid I will have to switch on the projection again."

"A key," Thorin wondered aloud. "What would a key to such a machine _do?_ "

"Keys to machines tend to switch them on or off."

 _Idiot,_ Thorin thought to himself. He meant, of course, what the machine itself could do. What would a giant underground machine on an isolated island possibly do? "Do you have a giant underground machine here?" he wondered. "Did my great-grandfather build it?"

"Well, I don't know if this is the same machine, but," the man looked at the mirror once again. He wasn't supposed to disclose this. Then again, Thranduil could not blame him for using some details to further the interrogation. So far he had gotten more out of their guest than Thranduil himself had. "There is one. It's been on the island since before we came here, and we don't know what it does, but we believe it may be important."

Thorin's constitution was weakened from the dehydration, the drugs. He breathed out.

It would be so easy to just _tell him._

\- - - - 

"I can't take this, Thorin!" Fili's blue eyes were wide. "It's a family heirloom." Smaller hands tried to push Thorin's away as the older man tried to slip his ring on his finger.

"You said it yourself, we could die tomorrow," Thorin stopped what he was doing and caressed Fili's face with one hand. "We could _die_. I want you to understand what you mean to me, Fili." He lay a kiss to the blond's forehead.

"I...it's for your _family,_ " Fili protested weakly. "You should be giving it to Kili, not to me."

"You don't understand," Thorin caressed Fili's cheekbone with his thumb. "It's a promise, to you," he said, so quietly that Fili could barely hear him over the crashing waves. "You will _be_ my family, Fili. My partner. My husband. If you'll have me."

It was the first time Thorin had ever come close to suggesting such a thing. _Surely,_ Fili thought to himself, _he's afraid. He wants my assurance. My love._ That, he could give. "I will take it, Thorin, and I'll keep it safe," he told his boss. "And, when all this is over, and you decide it's still what you want...I will have you. I will _marry_ you."

\- - - - - 

"I'm...so dizzy," Thorin told his interrogator. "Could I have a few minutes? Maybe some water?"

There was little other choice, for his lips looked chapped and the man needed him to continue talking. He placed a glass against Thorin's lips and gently tipped it, making sure not to spill anything. "I am going to leave you," he said. "I will be back in a short while, as you please. It would please me if we could pick our conversation up from here."

He exited the room and returned back to the chamber behind the mirror in the soundproof room built in there. "He's close," the man told Thranduil, who had followed everything. "Just a few more questions. You believe this machine is our way off, don't you? And he may yet hold the key."

\- - - - - 

The night was endless. Fili sat by the fire, keeping watch over Kili as he had promised. He only dozed off once, but a rustling from the nearby foliage gave him a huge shot of adrenaline and kept him going. He sparingly fed their small fire, just enough to keep them warm and provide light. The firelight gleamed on the bright chain connecting them by such a short amount of space. The chain was so unique in color, it almost seemed as if it were made of...he reached down into his sock again, fishing out the small baggie.

Thorin's ring winked at him in the dim light. He extracted it and held it down next to the chain. It was true then. The same metal had forged both items. Was the ring forged here on the island? By someone in Thorin's family?

He slid the buttery soft accessory onto his index finger where it fit snugly, and admired it in the light. The ring was so intricate, so special to Thorin. _And he's entrusted it with me,_ Fili smiled sadly. _He's entrusted far more than that,_ he realized, slipping the ring out of sight as Kili stirred.

Kili stretched on his side and squinted. He woke up like a lazy cat, with limbs stretching and a suppressed yawn. It was almost morning and he found he couldn't sleep a minute longer. While simply closing his eyes and pretending he was still knocked out was an easy thing to do, Kili knew that Fili probably had not slept that night, and he needed his sleep as well. Carefully, he started bending his leg. The swelling had made his knee a fat immovable lump, which he was not going to allow. They had ground to cover.

"Mh, hey," he croaked. "Get some sleep. I'll be on watch, if there's anything. You look tired."

"Your knee," Fili remarked, "looks a bit...swollen. How does it feel?"

"Stiff." Kili stretched it again and winced. "But it hurts less. If I can find myself a stick to lean on, we should get going in a few hours."

"Are you sure you don't to try now, since you've got energy?" Fili wondered. The sun was just beginning to show a spot of orange-pink in the sky.

Kili looked at him wryly. "What good is it if I can move if you clearly can't?" He looked him over once, and they both knew what he was talking about. "I'll try to move my leg and you're going to sleep, if only for a little. Twenty minutes at least."

"All right," Fili found the lure of sleep too powerful to argue with. "But don't you dare let me sleep too long," he insisted, handing his tarantula-stick over to Kili with a smile. "Nothing came close enough for me to kill it for breakfast," he apologized, yawning. 

Fili reached for his wadded up t-shirt, now pretty much useless as anything but a pillow, and put it on the ground, stretching out and laying his head on it. "Don't go running off now," he joked, closing his eyes.

Kili grinned with the sleepiness of a man just awake. "You caught me. I'll not remove these chains like I've been doing earlier and last night and be a good boy, all right?" He poked Fili. "Quiet now."

Around them the jungle was waking up. Flowers opened and leaves unfurled at the first touch of light, and equally did the mosquitoes return to the water. From where they sat, they could still hear the rushing of the waterfall, and Kili cursed it still, but he mostly tried to ignore its presence in favor of everything else.

It had to be about ten minutes after Fili stopped talking that he heard a rustle. Kili sat up immediately. Not anything in sight.

Again, from their left.

He didn't want to wake up Fili, finally asleep, but when another sound came behind them, Kili nudged him insistently anyway.

"Ugh, what?" the blond asked sleepily, clearly peeved. "That didn't feel like twenty minutes," he lamented. "If it's not a pizza delivery man, tell it to go away," Fili groused, getting reluctantly to his feet, reaching out to steady his friend when he winced in pain.

Kili didn't laugh, focused as he was. Whatever was out there, it was big and it was unafraid. He could hear it approach even as they made very clear they were there. That could only mean one thing; it was top of the food chain. But he couldn't remember anything being in his books about large predators able to take out men in this part of the world.

Kili was still coming to his conclusion that it had to be something else when his neck suddenly stung. Kili grabbed for it. His hand never reached it, as he hit the ground, unconscious, before he could.

"Kili!" Fili cried out, kneeling beside him and reaching for the brunet's neck to feel his pulse. His fingers came away with a small feathered dart between them. 

The movement disappeared back into the jungle, before it rounded on Fili from the right, careless of his distress or the fact that Kili's dead weight prevented him from any movement that exceeded three feet. Branches moved and twigs snapped, and yet nothing came forward.

Fili's left shoulder stung. Then his world went dark.

\- - - - -

Kili came to in a bed that was comfortable in a way he hadn't experienced for weeks. He frowned and looked at the clean linen before he took in his surroundings. Someone had tranquillized him. But in front of him, in the same single bed and at a too close proximity, there was only Fili, lit by a lamp and covered with a comfortable bed sheet. Kili looked down. No more chain between them.

"Hello, Kili. It's good to see you again."

He sat up with a jolt.

The movement jarred Fili, who sighed softly and extended an arm to wrap around Kili's waist. He didn't wake, only snuggled closer.

Kili's eyes were on the arm in alarm. He would have allowed it and suffered the guilt if it had been just them, but under Thranduil's watchful eyes—knowing, smiling eyes—he couldn't.

"You must wonder how you got here. It appears we have need of you yet."

The door opened as Kili struggled to get Fili's arm away from him and he looked into the eyes of Thorin, whose eyes lit up as if it were Christmas morning and he rushed towards the bed on which the two lay. Fili was still dead to the world, arm still lying limply across Kili's lap.

It was Kili that Thorin embraced first. "I knew you two would be okay," Thorin insisted, voice breaking a bit. "I knew you'd take care of each other." His eye fell to Fili's arm. "Is he all right?"

Kili helplessly lifted the weight of Fili's arm, only to drop it and have it crawl back around his waist. He figured that if he made a joke of it, at least he wouldn't have to hide his discomfort as much. "Tranquilizer. Out like a log. He'll be fine. All that happened to him was a spider, and not a bite." He smiled sadly and wrapped one arm around Thorin as well. "And you? Have they been treating you well? It's good to see you. We thought..."

"Thranduil's been a mostly accommodating host," Thorin turned his gaze in Thranduil's direction. "Although I understand the two of you had a rough few days out there in the jungle, chained together. It must have been frightening." His gaze fell to Fili's wrist, which bore a bruise around its perimeter from the chain. So did Kili's. "At least now you can escape one another," Thorin smiled sadly.

The remark befuddled his nephew, who frowned and tried to read Thorin's expression in order to understand. When Kili didn't, he shook it off. "I'm fine. Just a bruise, that's all. Why did they bring us back here?"

"Because I have need of you," Thranduil interjected. "Both of you, in fact. You see, there appears to be a chance Thorin here knows how to get us off the island. You're leverage."

Thorin's hand reached out and caressed Fili's hair affectionately. "You're both in desperate need of a bath," he smiled gently. "And I'm so happy to see you both," he squeezed Kili's hand with his free one. "You're both going to be all right," he assured Kili. "I won't let them hurt you."

Kili wasn't sure he hadn't been hurt already. "You know how to get off the island?" he gaped instead. "How? I mean, what's stopping us?"

Thorin raised his eyes to Kili and in them was the message _I don't want to talk about it in front of Thranduil_. "There seems to be a large machine underground somewhere that's blocking communication to the outside world—preventing us from being rescued," he explained to him.

Kili faintly nodded. "All right. But that's—that's great, right?" He turned to Thranduil. "He's right. We do need a bath. And then I'd really like to see Dwalin and Ori, make sure they're well. You didn't do to them what you did to us, did you?" He dared Thranduil to say more than a yes or a no. Kili would singlehandedly kill him if he did.

"They've been with us all along," Thranduil merely returned. "No need to get angry at me, youngling. They've been well fed and they've been sleeping in a bed much like the one you're in right now. Ask them if you want. In the mean time, I suggest it's time to wake up your friend."

"I'll do it," Thorin offered. He no longer had anything to hide. He leaned down over Fili, nuzzling his nose into the depths of the blond hair. "Hey," he put a gentle hand on Fili's back and shook him gently, then harder, "wake up, Fili."

The sound of Thorin's deep, velvety voice in such close proximity had Fili's eyes fluttering open. "Thorin?" he asked, rolling over. When their eyes met, Fili sat up and threw his arms around his lover. "Am I dreaming? Are we out of the jungle?"

His eyes met Kili's and he reached for his hand. "H-how?" Then he saw Thranduil. "Oh..."

"That's how," Kili said reluctantly. He squeezed Fili's hand, while he would rather pull away. The worst part was that Thranduil looked at him like he knew. He had to; every time Kili so much as looked his direction, Thranduil returned him with a smile like he was proud of his handiwork. "You two should catch up." Kili turned to his captor. "Can I get a bath first?"

"Ah. I'm afraid heating water's quite a hassle. You can go at the same time, or you won't."

Thorin shot Thranduil a glare. "They're grown men, Thranduil. You could allow them their privacy, you know," he frowned.

"It's all right, Thorin," Fili assured him. "We've been joined at the hip nearly a week now. What's another hour?" he smiled at Kili. "I mean, it's not as if we haven't all seen each other naked enough in the past month."

But Fili, Kili knew, had only seen him naked when he'd been with Dwalin. He threw a venomous look at Thranduil. "I think I'll pass if that's the case. Perhaps Thorin would like a bath in my stead."

"In case you haven't noticed, Kili," the blond smiled, "you're a mess. Come on, then. Let's have a bath. You're not very fit for human consumption right now, after all," he insisted. "It's not as if our host plans to watch. You _don't_ plan to watch, do you?" he turned to Thranduil.

Thranduil laughed. "Oh, like there's anything worth watching when you two are having a bath. Come, follow me and I shall walk you two to the bath house. Kili?"

Kili visibly hated how they both tried to push him into a corner, but they were right about one thing. With Thranduil and Thorin—clean—in their proximity, suddenly he and Fili didn't smell decently anymore. That bath in the lake hadn't been much of a bath, he remembered. "Oh, all right," he folded his arms and pulled away from Fili and from Thorin, walking up to Thranduil with a limp.

He had never noticed how short he was compared to the white-haired man. Kili looked up stubbornly until Thranduil smiled, opened the door and preceded them through a corridor and into another where light filtered in and plants were placed, making it all a little friendlier. A man opened a door, and Thranduil stopped next to it.

"There you are. Call out when you're done and you shall be escorted back to us. We will of course not be waiting for you here. That's hardly considered privacy." Thranduil's eyes sparkled.

"If I didn't know any better," Fili grinned after the door shut behind Thranduil, "I'd swear he's trying to get us to hook up. Crazy, huh?" he chuckled, toeing off his sneakers. He sat down on a bench and carefully pulled off his socks, removing the baggie from one of them. In plain sight of Kili, he opened it and slid the ring onto the index finger of his right hand. "I guess there's no need to hide this anymore," he shrugged.

"What's that?" Kili's eyes latched onto the ring. He knew that family crest, and it wasn't Fili's.

"Your uncle gave it to me for safekeeping the night before we left camp to come to this side of the island," Fili told him. He didn't mention the fact that Thorin had, more or less, proposed.

"Thorin gave you a _ring_? Which he could have easily kept safe himself?" Kili's throat was starting to feel dry. He focused on getting out his clothes, for once ignoring his usual consideration of decency and stripping fully. He kept his eyes averted when he entered the water and hissed at the heat. Kili had forgotten how a hot bath felt.

"You should have seen him, Kili," Fili tried to explain. "He was inconsolable. I didn't have the heart to tell him I wouldn't keep it for him," Fili said sadly, sinking into the water next to him. "Oh my god," he moaned, "this is incredible." He held his breath and sank beneath the surface.

 _And yet you're wearing that ring proudly,_ the younger thought. He hardly relaxed, despite the wonders the hot water were working on his knee, which he now barely felt even as he moved it. Kili leaned his head back on the edge of the circular basin, several feet in diameter and yet too small for the both of them. He must have pressed a button, because jets of water sprouted into the water and turned the bath into a primitive Jacuzzi. Kili groaned. Fili was right. Oh, it _was_ good.

"I don't trust that guy," he said. "But Christ, this is really what I needed."

"Shampoo," Fili reached over the side and discovered a basket of hygiene supplies. "Soap!" he handed an unopened bar to Kili. "My god, I can finally wash my hair...and yours!" he smiled. "God, maybe we can shave..." he started digging for a razor. "Yahtzee!" he cried. He turned back to Kili, smiling like a little kid. "Trust him or not, at least we'll die clean."

Like a kid in a candy store. Kili couldn't help it, he cracked a smile. With fake vanity, he patted his cheeks where stubble had appeared. "I think I actually like my scruff. Does this make me look older?" His hair felt like silk once he started lathering it up. To think he had nearly passed up on this. "If you're going to be shaving yourself, do it outside the bath please." Kili closed his eyes and sighed out. "So, Thranduil says there might be a way off this island."

Fili didn't want to admit it, but he liked the scruff on Kili's face. It made him look older, yes, but more handsome too. So handsome it was hard not to look at him...even with his hair all lathered up.

He shrugged. "I dunno," he offered, struck mostly dumb by his proximity to Kili. "Listen, Kili," he began after they'd both rinsed their hair and were simply enjoying the warmth of the water. "These past few days..."

"These past few days." Kili smiled uncomfortably. "I'll not tell anyone about the spiders if you promise not to tell anyone about that thing in the lake."

Fili chuckled. "Yeah, that was...awkward," he smiled. "But what I meant to say was, I mean, I know we were thirsty and starving, and scared out of our wits. But...I'm glad I was with you, Kili." 

Kili shrugged, because it was the easy thing to do. "It's cool. I'm glad I was with you, too. You scaled that tree fairly good, you know."

Fili smiled softly and reached for Kili's hand under the water. "That was the best team building exercise ever."

The response from Kili's own hand was shaky and he retracted first like it was burnt. He remembered Fili and Ori holding hands though, so it wasn't meant any odd way. Kili felt stupid having to second-guess everything they did before he could accept it. He reached back and touched the back of Fili's hand. "Next time though, no chain. If that Thranduil guy puts us through that again, I swear I'm going to hurt him."

"Oh, it was dangerous," Fili nodded. "Very, very dangerous leaving us there in that condition. But I trusted you, Kili," he told the other man. "I still do. Trust you with my life," he added.

Kili smiled and lay his head back. "I know. You don't have to tell me this. Just relax. God, I missed taking a bath. All I need is a Coke and a book and this would just be perfect. Do you think Dwalin and Ori had a bath like this?"

"You mean together?" Fili chuckled. "God, Ori would have loved that." His eyes studied Kili's face carefully. "I need to tell you something, Kili."

That one sentence had Kili's nerves on edge again, and he had worked so hard to ease up. Kili looked up at Fili. He nodded. Fili probably didn't notice how he was one breath away from shaking. "What is it?"

"You're a very good man," Fili told him. "Kind, smart, funny, and extremely good looking...and no one in their right mind would turn you away. _I_ would be a fool to turn you away," he admitted. "Especially because I _do_ have feelings for you. I'd be lying if I said otherwise. I tried to write it off as the stress of being here, of being caged up and chained to you. But it's not just that. I...I care for you," he confessed. 

Kili went cold at those words, then hot, and then cold again. It was nothing like being turned down—what he had expected Fili's words to be—but it wasn't quite what he had hoped to hear, either. Unspoken between them was Thorin—Thorin, who had put that ring around Fili's finger, who was Kili's uncle, who was everything between them.

"You know I like you," he whispered. "If you tell me you like me too and you're going to stay with him, please lie to me, or I'm going to keep thinking of it until it drives me crazy. I'm trying hard to keep out of Thorin's way, but I can't if you tell me you want this too."

"I don't want to lie to you, Kili," Fili told him. "I _can't._ This is killing me, tearing me up inside," he frowned. "What's wrong with me? I need to have my head examined! But, God help me, I _do_ love you." He pulled his hand gently from Kili's. "We should get out," he told the brunet. "Let's find out about this way off the island Thranduil's talking about."

The hand grabbed Fili's back and urged him back into the bath. Kili stared hard at Fili.

"You love me?"

Fili nodded. "Yes, Kili. I do. Despite trying hard to deny it, it's been impossible not to think about kissing you again. Which is why I need to get out of here and get dressed."

Kili's mouth was definitely dry now. While his head was still trying to wrap itself around that revelation, he let go of Fili for him to get dressed. Kili himself huddled back into the warmth of the bath while his eyes followed him.

"I'm—" he gathered his courage. "I want you, Fili. Badly enough to do stupid things. If we're going to be honest about this, I won't pursue you while you're with Thorin. I can't do that to him. But neither can I stand by and watch if he kisses you now, knowing what you just told me. So," he took a deep breath and smiled nervously. "I just needed to tell you that. Sorry. I don't—I expected you to tell me it wasn't going to happen." He then realized Fili hadn't really said anything was going to happen. "Do you want it to happen?"

Fili dried off in silence for a few moments. "I _can't_ break his heart." He slipped into one of the pairs of beige scrubs their hosts had left for them. "He's a good man. We both know he's not perfect, but he needs me. And he's been so good to me, Kili. And yet, he wants me to give up my job in order to be with him. I love my job as well. It's what's given me my sense of identity—self-worth—over the past five years." His eyes were full of tears threatening to fall. "I'm barely hanging on here." He sank down on a bench next to the tub. "What's worse is, and this is the worst thing of all, I wish we had had more time together, out there, in the wilderness. Just you and me." 

Kili's heart squeezed painfully. He'd just been told the person he wanted, wanted him too, and yet, _yet_...Without a sound he rose from the bath, crouched in front of Fili and wrapped his wet arms around him. Kili knew he shouldn't chance to look at him now, so he lay his ear against Fili's chest and closed his eyes.

What would have happened, if they'd had more time out there? The way Fili said it, Kili knew they would have regretted it both.

"I'm not going to tell you I don't expect things now," Kili admitted. "I couldn't tell you that. But I understand. He's my uncle. I don't like having these feelings when they're for the person he wants either, because it means I'd have to hurt him in order to be happy myself. Just promise me you'll be mindful of my feelings and make a choice when you're ready. A lot has been going on lately, hasn't it?"

"You would think that having all your dreams come true at once would be a wonderful thing," Fili told him sadly, "but I assure you, it isn't. It's a nightmare."

He picked up a towel and began tenderly drying Kili's wild mane of hair. "God, your hair," he chuckled. "It behaves just as poorly as you do."

Just like that, Fili leaned in and kissed him.

All of Kili's resolutions not to be _the other man_ short-circuited. He should be pushing away, telling Fili to wait until they weren't officially cheating on Thorin. Kili did try to. He reached up and held their lips apart—then crashed them together. In the blink of a second, Kili had Fili pinned against the wall at the back of the bench, kissing him hard and pushing his body up against him. Lips met with lips, and nips, and bites.

Kili pulled back just as hard and a hand pressed against his mouth, aghast about what he'd done.

"I—" he stammered. "I—I need to go."

He couldn't go looking like this.

"Not like that you don't," Fili chuckled. The front of his own scrubs were soaked wet through from contact with Kili. "And you...." his voice trailed off as he caught glimpse of Kili's aroused state. "You are in really, really bad shape right now, aren't you?" he slid his hand down Kili's wet back, shaking his head in disbelief at what he'd just done.

Maybe you should go first. Gives me time to, um," he gestured. Take care of himself. "Right. Just tell them your wet clothes are my fault." Kili hid his head in his hands and stretched his fingers. "You should definitely go, or I think I'm going to do that again."

"We can't have that," Fili smiled sadly. He'd loved it. He wanted not to. Sighing resolutely, he picked up yet another towel and handed it to Kili. "I'll see you out there," he told him, caressing his hair.

Fili turned and took in his own state in the mirror, covered in drops and patches of water from shoulder to knee. He grinned. _Oh, man._

Still, he fluffed out the scrub top, smiled once more at Kili, and left the room.

As soon as Fili was out of the room, Kili slipped back into the water, put his head underwater and screamed. It was a good scream, at least he thought it was. When he reemerged, he lay looking up at the blotchy ceiling for a long time. The ones that had made this room hadn't considered the downsides of moisture, apparently, because the off-white still bore scars of removed fungi. 

They had kissed. Again.

Kili grinned. It was wonderful and so bad at the same time. Then he remembered that outside that door he was going to have to face Thorin, and his smile fell. He wondered what was going to become of them. With his eyes at the ceiling and the jet stream giving him a sense of privacy in an empty room, he wrapped his hand around himself and brought himself off.

Fili exited the bath to find two tall guards waiting for him. "I'd like to be returned to Thranduil and Thorin, please," he told them.

They led him to a room with four chairs around a table, where Thorin was sitting across from their tall host. Thorin smiled when Fili arrived and his eyes immediately fell to the ring on his finger. So did Thranduil's.

"Kili is still in the bathhouse?" Thranduil wanted to know. He inclined Fili to sit next to Thorin and leaned forward. "So you do have it. The crest of Oakenshield. It's such a small thing for something said to be so powerful. Oh, go on, sit down, I don't bite. Now, you probably assumed correctly that we retrieved you in order to be of importance here. Do you know what that is?"

It took a moment for Fili to understand what they were getting at. The ring. Thorin's family crest. "It's this ring you need?" he looked up at Thranduil. "For what purpose?" he put his hand over it possessively.

Thorin noticed that possessiveness over his ring and smiled warmly. "It appears that sigil is a key, Fili, or it could be."

"Quite so," Thranduil supplemented. "I suspect we only need it to turn a switch. You'll get it back, of course. Such a fine ring. It must mean a lot to you." He turned to Fili with that calculated look that knew exactly what he had instigated during Fili's last stay on his grounds. "As soon as Kili's with us, I plan on testing that theory. Did he say why he was staying longer? I expected you to return at the same time."

"His knee," Fili lied effortlessly. "He hurt it during our last day out there." Thorin's eyes grew wide at the revelation. "He wanted to soak just a bit longer." Fili slipped the ring off his finger and handed it back to Thorin. "I promised I'd take care of it, and so I did. It survived climbing a hundred foot tree, a tarantula attack and dragging Kili nearly unconscious out of a waterfall," he smiled fondly at their adventures. "If it can help us get off this island, it truly is a blessed ring."

 _It was a gift_ , Thorin wanted to say. _Keep it._ He twirled the ring around in his fingers and sorrow filled his heart. "A tarantula attack? A waterfall? You say Kili lost consciousness near a waterfall? Oh Fili, there are so many things we need to catch up on. I don't think I've ever told you of Kili when he was young, have I?"

Thorin was ready to talk, were it not that he recalled at that moment that Thranduil sat right there, listening to his weaknesses. So he kept quiet.

Kili's return to their company was welcome. The doors opened, admitting only him before shutting behind him. Kili blinked at the doors before he saw Fili accompanied by Thranduil and Thorin. He had to force himself to act normal, which was hard, but the ring in Thorin's hand instead of Fili's ring, as he noticed it, blossomed hope. He stated, "You're waiting for me, aren't you? Sorry I took a little longer," and said nothing more in case Fili had thought up a reason for him already.

Emotions played over Thorin's face and Fili was instantly confused. "You need the ring, don't you?" he asked. "You just got done saying it's a key. Unless you want me to be the one opening it...you need the ring." _Believe me, I'd much rather keep it than have it in Thranduil's hands,_ he frowned.

Instead of being relieved at their reunion with Thorin, he felt sick and scared. Thranduil had only begun to use their love for his own gain.

Kili meekly sat down at the table. "It's a key? The ring? A key for what?"

On his left, Thranduil moved to get up. "We're about to see, aren't we? I think it's past time we saw what that machine can do. Come with me." Even without chains, he knew that none of them would run. Thranduil still had Dwalin and Ori. With that in consideration, he pushed the door open and gestured for them to follow.

Their path led them outside, through a village of small houses and past a dock. Several men stopped to stare at them as they walked in the direction of a bunker at the edge, then three flights of stairs down until they entered a pre-war hall fully coated in copper plating. Everything else had the same orange or green shade. On closer examination even the handles were made out of the material. The place was a superconductor.

"So," Kili carefully started, "is everybody on board that this isn't going to fry us alive?"

Thorin's blue eyes were wide with unconcealed wonder. It was Threrin's machine brought to life. He wasn't crazy after all. _Of course,_ Thorin amended, _we haven't tried it yet._

Fili couldn't bear to look at either Thorin or Kili, so great was his shame over what he'd done to them both. "Surely it wouldn't," he asserted. "Not if it's meant to be done. Still," he indicted a pair of very old rubber gloves that lay on the ground nearby. "Better safe than sorry?" he picked them up and handed them to Thorin. 

"I—I could do it if you want," the blond offered. "Just in case it _is_ , you know dangerous. I'm more..." he was going to say _expendable,_ but he shut up, knowing full well how both Durins would react to that statement. "I'm just saying, I'm willing," he offered lamely.

"That's kind of you, but this is a mess I created. That means I'll have to be the one to fix it, Fili. If Thranduil chooses to have someone other than himself do it, of course." Thorin didn't know whether their host had any plans about what was going to happen.

"You can flip the switch," Thranduil informed him. "You are kind to offer, though I would have picked you anyway." He opened the air seal on the door at the end of the tunnel. When it opened to let them in, three mouths parted in awe at the machine they found inside. It towered three stories high and was mostly embedded into the wall and the chamber behind it. It was, in one word, monstrous.

Thranduil stepped back.

"Do it."

Thorin stepped forward while the rest hung back. Kili and Fili's eyes were agape that such a giant machine could be concealed under such a primitive island. In front of the CEO, on a dais, was what appeared to be a control panel. 

It took him a moment to locate the spot where the ring should be inserted, but when he did, it became obvious. The size and shape matched his ring completely, and the metal beneath looked tailor-made to have the ring inserted. 

Thorin suddenly felt very afraid. But he didn't want to convey that fear to his nephew or lover—and least of all to Thranduil. But his shaking hands did betray him as he slipped on the gloves. Carefully taking the ring between his thumb and index finger, he took a deep breath and pressed it into the indentation on the control panel.

Unconsciously, Fili reached for Kili's hand and pulled him close.

It turned out there was no switch to flip. While the machine had been continuously dormant, it sucked the ring in like something sentient—like it had been waiting for this moment its entire life span. Lights on the machine lit up and pistons above them started moving. Large circular fans whirred to life above Thorin.

"Get away!" Kili tried to reach his uncle over the sound of the device. The ring had done its job and Thorin need not linger. 

He did not know whether Thorin heard, but a few seconds later he started backing away on his own accord.

When the floor started shaking, Kili decided he had had enough. He turned to Thranduil and hissed, "He did what he came here to do. I suggest you open that door and we wait to see what happens next aboveground. I don't know what this machine does, but I'm not willing to risk being buried alive to find out." He pointed his finger at the wall. Copper screws were on their way to being drilled out of the plates they kept together.

Thranduil stared at those screws wide-eyed. Then he nodded and opened the door.


	18. This Time Outside Has Done You Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The machine is activated. The prisoners are all reunited. Dwalin and Thorin have a chat. Ori makes a shocking confession and a more shocking decision.

The quartet rushed back out the hallway and up the stairs. Both Fili and Thorin slipped under Kili's arms to help him up the stairs as his knee threatened to slow them down.

"Keep moving!" Fili directed once they'd burst out into the sunlight. "It's under us and could still pose a threat."

Thorin nodded, and they moved another 25 yards away to see what unfolded.

"What does that machine do?" Fili asked no one in particular. The ring Thorin had given him was gone. He regretted handing it over so carelessly. When it had been sucked away into the hungry mouth of the machine, he felt as if opportunity has been sucked away with it.

"We'll have to wait and see," said Thranduil when Thorin was panting to catch his breath.

They all stared at the entrance to the bunker. Slowly, the vibrations started being felt where they stood too. People walked out of their houses in confusion, and a young man ran up to Thranduil to inspect him. "Did they hurt you?" he asked. "What's going on? Father, talk to me!"

A malevolent roar broke out underground. At the same time a high frequency buzz grew louder and louder until it became painful. Kili clutched his ears. He grimaced. All became white before his eyes—

—and then it was over. Daylight had made way for night. Judging from other people, he was not the only one who had had a blackout. To his right, Fili was still out cold on top of Thorin, who was slowly waking up.

"What...?" he whispered.

"The radio's back on," Thranduil's son smiled.

"Mmm, _god,_ " Thorin groaned, rubbing a spot above his right eye. "What _was_ that? Fili?!" he cried. The position all too closely mirrored how they'd been found after the plane went down a month earlier. Thorin panicked.

Thranduil's son stepped forward to help extricate Thorin out from under the blond, who winced when pulled upright. "Felt like Armageddon," Fili murmured, knees giving out. Legolas lowered him to the ground next to Thorin.

"Did I hear you say the radio's working?" Thorin turned to Legolas.

"You did. It's of course too soon to consider our return a fact, but Father's been in the control room talking to people on the outside for half an hour now." Legolas looked thrilled. "We may get to go home at last." He laughed and got up, offering Fili and Thorin a hand. "There's been radio silence for eight years. This is incredible news! Who knows, you might get to go back to England too." Legolas smiled. "I'm sure Father wouldn't mind. Come, I'll take you to your friends."

The about-face in Legolas' demeanor was so abrupt it made Fili's head spin. But the dizziness partially could have been from the recent shockwave. "Ori and Dwalin?" he turned to Thorin, gripping his arm. "Yes! Yes, please let us see them." He extended his other hand to Kili.

Ori had been anxious already when the door flew open. He gave a yelp and nearly fell off his bed. "Legolas?" he called out, "is that you? What was that noise? Was there an earthquake?"

He squinted when the light switched on and batted his eyes at the visitors before him.

"Fili?"

"Hey," the blond smiled, then pulled him up onto his feet and into a tight hug. Although it had only been five days since he'd last seen his friend, it seemed like ages. "Oh, wow..." he looked around. "You got a much nicer cage than I did."

Ori laughed. "Yes, we did. They told us where they kept you. They actually got us lasagna and meatballs here. By request." He saddened. "They also said they threw you out into the jungle. Did you find us? What happened out there?"

Kili patted Ori on the shoulder. "We don't know yet. Could be good," he smiled before walking over to Dwalin and pulling him into a hug. "I assume you behaved." He gestured for Thorin to stop standing there and join them.

"My goodness," Thorin looked around at the accommodations Dwalin and Ori had been sharing. "This is practically the Kensington, isn't it? Beds and all," he smiled. 

Thorin was relieved Dwalin and Ori hadn't been separated. Ori had proven himself a fierce friend to Fili and was glad he'd not been harmed. He turned to his friend of many years and hugged Dwalin in front of them all. 

"We'll tell you about our jungle adventure later," Fili assured Ori. "You'll definitely want to add it to your book. How was your time with Mr. Dwalin?" he smiled knowingly.

Surprisingly, Ori flashed a beet red and mumbled under his breath, "...Okay. Yours with Kili? Did he climb any more trees? Oh, I know that look. He did, didn't he?"

"One a hundred feet tall," Kili broke in merrily—a clever distraction from Ori's earlier question—and Fili climbed it too. Didn't fall." He let Thorin and Dwalin catch up while he joined Fili and Ori. "You two must have had the best sleep of us all, with these beds."

Ori only stammered more.

Fili's heart leapt. Could it be that Ori and Dwalin had grown close during their captivity? Oh, how he wanted that for Ori!

"We slept like logs," Dwalin's eyes twinkled. "Didn't we, Ori?" he asked the blushing young man. "And ate like kings as well. I'm only sorry the three of you weren't so fortunate."

"I only hope our colleagues on the other side of the island are thriving," Thorin grew more somber. "I wonder if they felt the ground shaking, even there?"

"They probably thought the volcano was about to blow," Fili nodded his head in agreement. "I certainly did." He shot Ori an _Oh-my-god-I-can't-wait-to-talk-with-you-privately_ look.

Kili turned to Legolas. "If this...If these developments allow you to leave, when you're sure about it, are we free to go as well? Ori's right, they're probably very concerned. We have no idea what happened to them while we were away."

Legolas cleared his throat and smiled knowingly. "I don't think Father wants me to tell you, but there have been orders. All of them are fine. We've kept an eye on them, no doubt so he could use them against you at some point, but he made it very clear no-one was to be harmed by us or a lack of survival skills. They've been good. They've mostly been fishing; when you left and they've come up with some...creative methods. Though I can't promise you your freedom in dad's stead. He's not the easiest person."

"They're a fine group of creative minds," Thorin said, to no one in particular. "And that Baggins characters has enough energy to keep them all motivated."

"Thank you for letting us know...Legolas," Fili tested the name. He was still a little wary of the man who'd stood by callously while Fili was throttled into unconsciousness in front of him. 

"We get to go along with you, don't we, Legolas?" Ori asked the blond. "You surely wouldn't leave us here!"

The cell did not at all feel like a place of containment anymore. The door was wide open and if they wanted, any one of them could have disarmed Legolas and made a run for it. Except nobody did. Legolas knew that, too. "You're free to follow me to my father when I look for him, if you’d like to deliver your plea for freedom to him in person."

To everyone's surprise, Kili shook his head. "We can stay here tonight if you promise to take us to him tomorrow. I'm tired and I prefer to travel by day."

Nobody knew that Kili assumed Thranduil to say no anyway, and that he thought they had more chance when radio contact had been maintained for a longer while.

Thorin was the first to voice it. "Kili, no. Don't give him time to reconsider."

"I'm not. I'm giving them a token of good faith."

"Two small beds for the five of us, lad?" To Dwalin, the small room he'd shared comfortably with Ori now seemed rather claustrophobic. "Surely they have enough beds where all of us can sleep comfortably. Especially the three of you; you deserve it, after what they've put you though. Can you get them beds?" he asked of Legolas. 

"And can they be fed too?" Ori wondered. Thorin, Kili and Fili all looked the worse for wear—exhausted and sallow. "Thorin did, after all, provide you the key to your freedom."

"Don't tell father I told you about the key." Legolas said quickly. "You mean you want a bigger prison. If I separate the five of you into two rooms and I take the rooming plan you picked, he's only going to be able to use that further against you, should anything happen." He sighed. "Very well. Thorin, Dwalin, Kili, with me. Fili, Ori, you stay here."

"I'm not leaving Thorin and Fili," Kili said resolutely. His eyes flicked nervously between his uncle and his friend.

"Then you'll be five men cramped into one cell."

"That's unfair."

"You're still _prisoners_ ," Legolas rebuked incredulously. "And you're getting free food. I don't see how I'm unfair."

"Oh, fine," Ori sighed. "Go on. It's just for a night."

"We won't try to run away again," Fili told Legolas. "To be honest, the getting caught part is getting really old."

His eyes followed reluctantly as the trio was led away. He had so much more he wanted to say to both Kili and Thorin. But he felt certain they'd have that chance, soon.

After the iron doors were locked and he was alone with Ori, he turned to the redhead. "And so, it's you and me."

Ori broadly grinned. "Good. And nobody is eavesdropping on us." He hopped onto the bed and patted it for Fili to join. "Which means I'm free to tell you about Dwalin."

A grin split Fili's face. "Oh my god," he sat down next to his friend. "You must have been...well, mortified, and turned on, in equal measure."

"Not actually that mortified," Ori entrusted his best friend. "Besides, we didn't do _that_." He grinned. "Yet. But let me tell you, that guy is good with his hands.

Fili's eyes grew wide. "Oh, Ori! Honestly?" he smiled. "With Dwalin! I know that's Bucket List material for you there. Was it...was it good??"

Where in any other company Ori would have stammered and shut himself away, with Fili he smiled only wider. "God, it's so awkward. We don't know if they have cameras, or peepholes. So the second night he crept into my bed and we...fumbled under the blankets. The next night, I did that with him. But he said that as soon as we're free, we need to explore this thing some more. That qualifies for 'I want in your pants', right?"

Fili burst out laughing. "Oh my god. Yes. _Yes_ it qualifies," he felt tears prickling his eyes. "Of course he wants in your pants. Any why shouldn't he? Oh, Ori, I'm so happy for you," he leaned companionably against his shoulder. "I missed you."

Ori let himself fall down to rest his head on Fili's lap. He peacefully closed his eyes. Finally, someone wanted him, and Ori had been itching to tell him. "I missed you too," he sighed contentedly, "when I wasn't distracted with Dwalin, of course. So you and Thorin, how's that going?"

"Well, I just got reunited with him a few hours ago," Fili offered in his defense. "I spent the past couple of days chained to Kili out in the jungle." He hadn't told Ori about Thorin's apparent proposal. He also wasn't sure he was ready to tell him what happened between him and Kili in the bathhouse. 

He wasn't proud of what he'd done.

"Well, if Legolas is right, you're going to have plenty of time with him soon. But what happened out there? Kili was limping, I saw that right, didn't I? You were chained to him? That's awful. Don't get me wrong, Kili's a nice guy, but I'd probably not be able to catch up with him once that guy starts moving."

"He kept me motivated, that's for sure," Fili smiled. "But he hurt his knee. Slipped on some stones in the water," Fili had promised not to talk about Kili's incident at the lagoon, and he didn't. "After that, he was more my speed," he chuckled.

Then he turned to Ori, face set in a grim line. "I kissed him."

Ori gaped at him. When Fili showed no signs of breaking into laughter, he shook his head. "Oh, no, Fili. Why? You were just making progress with Thorin. Did you tell him? Of course you didn't, you didn't have time with him yet. It was an accident, wasn't it?"

"An accident?" Fili shook his head incredulously. "No, Ori...it as the exact _opposite_ of an accident. It just happened an hour or so ago. Well, the second kiss did," he sighed. "The first kiss was Thranduil's doing."

He told Ori about how their captor has bade them kiss to buy their freedom.

"But this time...yeah, it was one hundred percent me," Fili sniffed. "God, what's _wrong_ with me? I love Thorin. I want to spend my life with him!"

"Do you really?" Ori’s eyes searched Fili’s face. "It seems to me, if you want to spend your life with him, you don't go kissing his nephew. Personally, if I would have had you—I know that ship's sailed, Fee, but figuratively speaking—I wouldn't have even considered allowing Dwalin into my bed. You kissed Kili. I...wow. You know he feels about you, right?"

"I know how Kili feels," Fili echoed. "I'm insane, right? I just...I look into his eyes, and I feel like I owe him so much. I feel so connected to him. We have all been through so much—the crash, and what followed. This is a horrible, horrible time to be making relationship decisions," he lamented. "I think Thranduil encouraged that, because he's trying to hurt Thorin."

"But then, maybe it's _me_. Do you think maybe I'm purposefully trying to undermine my relationship with Thorin...to keep my job?" Fili leaned his head back against the wall dejectedly. "What kind of person does that make me, Ori?"

Ori sighed. He reached for Fili's hand and squeezed it before he got up and nudged Fili to lie with his head on his lap instead. Fili needed it more than he. "You don't owe him anything. Nor do you owe Thorin anything but a conclusive answer, but you made it a lot harder by giving in to Kili. Oh, Fee. I had hoped that once I got out of the picture, you'd be straight with him, but it's the same story all over, isn't it?"

"I don't deserve either of them," Fili whispered, closing his eyes and soaking in all the comfort his friend was offering. "Maybe that's the only solution."

"You're wrong. You're just having a hard time figuring out who you want more." Ori ran a hand through Fili's hair idly, trying to soothe some of the tension. "I'd say go for Thorin, because Kili feels like it's a bit of a fling, but you haven't exactly shown him faithfulness on several occasions. And if you'd pick Kili, make sure it's not just because he reminds you of Thorin, just without losing the job, or anything. Actually, taking a step back and seeing who you miss the most sounds like the best advice I can give you."

Fili groaned. "No fair, Ori. The person I'd miss the most...it's _you!_ " he leapt up and wrestled him playfully down onto the bed beneath him. "You make a horrible relationship counselor," the blond chuckled. "Horrible."

Ori shrugged. "I didn't ask to be one. I don't think there's a degree to be a relationship counselor anyway. Seriously though, Fee," he smiled sadly, "I love you, but you need to sort this one out. They're uncle and nephew. If you play this one wrong, you're going to ruin things further between them."

"I won't do that," Fili lay down next to Ori, so that their heads shared a pillow. "I can't bear to hurt either of them. They're both so," he chose his word carefully, "so _fragile._ They want people to think they aren't, but, inside them both are two scared little boys. It's so hard not to want to take care of them. To tell them it's all going to be all right."

"So, is it?" he turned to Ori. "Is it all going to be all right?"

"Yes, yes it is. Don't forget, sometimes you need someone to take care of you as well." And though Ori's mind was fairly made up about that that probably wasn't going to be Thorin, he spoke not. Who knew whether that what was unlikely today wasn't happening tomorrow?" 

Ori closed his eyes. "I hope they'll be here with food soon. I'm starving. They spoiled us rotten, you know. So what is the first thing you're going to do when you get off this island?"

"I'll go see my mother, of course," Fili said immediately. "And, I think, it's time for me to start mending fences with my father." 

The idea terrified him, but after Kili's heart wrenching story of losing his parents, he felt it was something he had to do. He wanted his father to know him, and, if he was lucky, to come to accept him as well.

"What about you?" he asked of Ori.

"Mh, nothing that noble, I guess, though you're serious bout your dad? Isn't he the world's biggest scumbag? No, I think I'll just take Dwalin up on that offer first, or maybe second so I won't come off as too eager. I don't know, how do these things go? I'll go to a spa and get a good massage. Write a lot. Grandma probably is going to claim a full day too. She's so nosy. Get a tatt, or something."

"Oh, shit, yes!" Fili smiled. "You should totally get a tattoo! Find your totem animal," he yawned, relaxing against the other. "I don't think it's noble, trying to fix things with Dad," he mused. "Insane, maybe. Impossible, maybe. But he _is_ my father. It's worth a shot. At least I'll have the satisfaction of having tried, if nothing else."

"I can't wait to read your book," the blond said some minutes later.

"...You're expecting me to go into detail about Dwalin, aren't you?"

After all, Fili knew everything else already.

"In the book...no," Fili smiled. "But I expect you to _tell_ me everything," he poked him. "It's what friends do."

"Friends also ask the right questions." Oh, Ori had missed this. He was glad that it turned out to not be related to him having been infatuated with his best friend. "I think I'm getting something local if I get a tattoo. I survived a plane crash, a few needles shouldn't scare me. You'll be there, won't you be? Even if you patch up things with your dad and you end up walking around in a poncy suit all the time as his second-in-command, promise me you'll be there in that seedy tattoo parlor."

"I'll more than be there," Fili smiled. "I'll be sitting next to you—getting the exact same tattoo."

Fili fell asleep with a smile on his face, if only for a short while forgetting about his incredible dilemma.

\- - - - 

Kili seemed to fall asleep the moment he lay down on his bunk. And why not? Thorin thought to himself.

"He's had a rough few days," he explained to Dwalin. "Hell, a rough month. I'm sure he's regretting his decision to come work for me. As I'm regretting dragging him into this," he sighed. 

Dwalin laughed quietly, so as not to wake the youngest in the room. He looked at him fondly. "Oh, old friend, you should look more closely at your nephew some times. I believe Kili's the only person on this flight who made the island work for himself. He's been out in the jungle more than with us, and I dare say he loves it there. Climbing trees, getting his own food, working on that hammock of his. And he's gotten to talking to you again. I wouldn't worry about him." He nudged Kili's foot with his own and Kili rolled up further. "I'm more concerned about what's going to happen to him if we get back to the world, when we stuff him back into an office."

"He never wanted to work in an office," Thorin confessed. "He loves animals. He always had this crazy fantasy about a ranch...somewhere remote. He thought I wasn't hearing him when he talked about it, but I heard it all. I just...wanted to protect him from his ideas," he smiled down fondly at his nephew.

"Maybe I was protecting myself," he admitted. "I've been a terrible guardian to him."

"Every guardian thinks that about himself." Dwalin threw him a sympathetic smile. "Maybe we should get him a different position in the company when we get back. Something like research and development, or on-site overseer. Something that suits him more than what he's doing now." He chuckled. "I admit it though, he has a knack for numbers. Maybe we should just invest in a big garden and get him an office in the middle of it. I bet he'd love that."

"Ah yes," Thorin smiled fondly. "Replete with animals of all sorts as well. I envision Fili visiting him there quite often. This ordeal seems to have made them nearly inseparable." He wasn't complaining, just observing. "Fili really should be spending more time with people his own age. Kili too," he raised knowing eyes to Dwalin's.

"Fili has Ori too, of course, but yes." Because Dwalin knew Thorin was referencing at least their frequent chess nights. "As should you, you know. Spend more time with both of them and others your own age. Well, spend more time outside the office in general. Look at you; I think I'm even starting to see the redefinition of muscle there. This time outside has done you good."

"I do miss it," Thorin smiled fondly, head flooded with memories of his youthful adventures with Dwalin—yachting, climbing, rugby. "I really do, Dwalin."

He sat down forlornly on one of the empty beds. "I feel as if I've been a pawn in a giant game," he admitted. "As if my whole life I've been meant to be brought to this island and restart some infernal machine."

Dwalin nodded. Perhaps. "And now you're free to make your own purpose again. Doesn't that sound like a much better take on things?"

"I'm afraid if I acted on what I'm feeling right now, I'd disband or sell the company and retire to Tuscany," Thorin lay back, arms folded behind his head. "Do you remember what a wonderful time we had there, Dwalin?"

Dwalin laughed, which roused Kili on the forgotten bed enough for them to both still and wait until Kili looked asleep again before continuing. "Oh, I remember that time well. Those were the days. No business trouble, just life and good food and better nights. If I could talk you into a road trip like that again, my friend, just give me the sign. Those were the days."

"Mmm," Thorin sighed, "the food. The _nights._ " he raised an eyebrow at Dwalin as if to sum all of their wild trysts with one glance. "I was so happy then."

"There's no-one stopping you." Some clamor came from outside their cells, but it seemed to be nothing important. "Take Fili and just go there. Nobody will think less of you if you take a well-deserved break, especially with the crash and everything else that's happened."

Thorin was quiet for a moment, lost in the past. "Would _you?_ " he asked finally. "Would you go with me on a trip like that...for old time's sake?" he raised himself on one elbow and studied his former lover carefully. "Fili will want to spend time with his mother. But you...you'd appreciate the trip, I think. And I'd certainly appreciate the time with you."

"Ah, but part of the nights will be lost on you. Go with him. It'll do him good too. That kid's been fighting for your attention for so long."

Thorin couldn't hide his look of disappointment. When his father had died, when his sister and brother-in-law had died, when he'd become a substitute father and a CEO in one fell swoop—he's also lost Dwalin.

True, Dwalin had stuck by him all those years, even when he was a right bastard to everyone around him. But as far as the romance they'd once shared? Apparently that ship was long sailed.

"Fili would love Tuscany," Thorin said. And he would. He'd take both Fili and his mother, if she wanted to make the trip. And Kili, of course. Kili would love the scenery and the wildlife. He owed Kili so much more than he'd so far managed to give him. 

Everyone thought so.

Dwalin sighed and shook his head. "Oh, Thorin. You wanted to go with me and reinvent those days, did you not? I've been by your side for years, wondering when you'd say the words you're telling me now. It's flattering to hear them now, but I'm afraid I gave up on hearing them when you and Fili became close enough that I knew you and he were intimate. I'll go with you to Tuscany, but I can't give you the nights anymore while you're with him. It wouldn't be right."

"Of course," Thorin lay back down, eyes on the ceiling above. "Of course it's not right. I've become old, stodgy, uptight. I know this, Dwalin," he said sadly. "It's painful, you know, seeing you so chummy with Kili. I know he reminds you of me. The old me. He certainly reminds me often enough of what I've given up."

"Instead of being happy for him, I've resented him," Thorin rolled onto his stomach, luxuriating in the feel of the soft mattress beneath him. "But, you know, Fili sees the promise there in me. He always has. He loves me as I am, even when I do not."

"I've always loved you as you are." Dwalin tried to encourage his friend to see that. "I wouldn't mind late night chess with you, or conversations about the dullness of paperwork. And I'm sure Kili wouldn't mind it either. He's reached out for you many times, but I think I've only seen you open up to him since we got here. I mean that as a good thing. You're Thorin Oakenshield. That's your name, your wrapping. What you put into the package is all yours to decide. And nobody would look at you strangely if a plane crash made you re-sort your priorities." He smiled. "I'm just saying."

Thorin's eyelids were drooping, the events of the past few days catching up with him quickly. "My priorities," he chuckled softly. "Yes, I think it's fair to consider them... realigned."

When sleep claimed him, there was no tearing metal, no pyres of bodies, no helpless falling. There was golden sunlight, twittering birds, strong coffee and blue eyes full of love.

\- - - - -

Morning came and Legolas knocked on the wood of the door to wake up Ori and Fili. He cleared his throat when they didn't seem to have heard, and decided to just bring in the freshly baked bread when that too didn't work.

"Morning, sunshine," he smiled when Ori finally opened his eyes. "Brought you food. I'd suggest you eat up, because it looks like it's going to be a long day indeed. Had a good sleep?"

Fili smiled broadly. This one, it seemed, as much as he still made Fili nervous, seemed to have a great deal of interest in Ori.

"Smells wonderful," he spoke up, when Ori did not. "Thank you," he told Legolas.

"Yes, yes," Ori brushed his unruly hair out of his face. "Thank you, Legolas. It was very kind of you to bring us breakfast."

After the blond left, Fili descended eagerly upon the food. "It's still warm!" he grinned at Ori. "And there's jam!" he rolled his eyes in bliss. "The last thing I had to eat was a lizard, Ori. A goddamn lizard!"

"Kili says it's nutritious," Ori remarked, but the warm bread went down like a treat. Kili had slain a lizard on one of their first days on the island and offered Ori a piece he'd rejected. "This is what I've been having every day. It's bizarre, isn't it? To be prisoners but be treated like guests of honor? There was this one day when someone else brought us the food and it was really poor. Who knew that someone like Thranduil has a kind son like Legolas?"

He broke the second bun and smiled widely. "A long day. What do you think that'll be?"

Ori had barely voiced his question before the door opened again and Thorin, Dwalin and Kili entered. Without bonds. Ori perked up. "Hey! You're—"

"They're free," Thranduil's cold voice drifted in. He looked curiously at Ori and Fili and stopped before the door, which he chose not to open just yet. Instead he pulled out a roll of paper. "It would look...dubious for the crew that arrived overnight and are now awaiting us, if the owner of the island had prisoners of war. While you're still in your cell, I would ask that Mr. Oakenshield signs a confidentiality contract. The island will remain ours, and we will begin excavations as soon as we're ready. Everything that happened—how do they say it?—stays on the island."

Fili, who had wolfed down his breakfast far too quickly than he should have, wiped a dribble of jam from his chin with his thumb, then licked it off. 

"Good morning," he smiled at the trio, then he cut his eyes at Ori. He wasn't about to let this Legolas business drop anytime soon. Something told him there was more there than met the eye.

"Of course I'm signing," Thorin told them all. "Unspeakable things have happened to us all. And this island...well, there are clearly secrets here still remaining to be uncovered. That is," he looked around at the four of them, "if you feel I'm doing the right thing. The four of you are my advisers on this newly-negotiated contract."

"What if, say, one of us was interested in staying here...being part of the operation?" Ori spoke up.

Fili's head shot in his direction, forehead knitted.

"Would I be welcome?" Ori asked Thranduil.

"Why would you want to?" Thranduil definitely looked surprised by this mousey creature he'd thought nothing of.

"Ori?" Dwalin wondered aloud, which caused more heads to be turned his direction as well. "What?" he defended, "don't tell me you aren't thinking the same thing as me."

Kili chewed on his lip. "Why? They're out there, Ori. They're coming to take us _home_. The others are on the ship already. Don't you want to go home with us?"

"My god," Ori smiled around at them, "am I the only person here who finds this place fascinating? A mysterious island with magical properties, a group of men and women who have thrived here...and so much left undiscovered! Aren't you dying to find out more, Thorin? To stay here and discover, like your ancestors did?" Ori's eyes were alight with a passion few of them had had the pleasure of seeing before.

Fili's heart was breaking, but he'd expect nothing less from Ori. He reached across the table and squeezed his hand.

"Ori," Thorin seemed genuinely surprised. "I would be pleased to have you stay, as a representative of Durinco, if that's what you wished. More than pleased. I can think of no one more qualified."

Ori beamed. "It will only make my book that much more fascinating, won't it?"

Back in line, Kili did feel a slight sting that nobody else would be more qualified. Kili knew so much about the island, so much that could be of use. Didn't Thorin see that? Yet he was loath to steal Ori's limelight and he was loath to stay in a place where Fili was not. The island would only have half his heart if he stayed without him around. He looked out the window at the men waiting for them.

"Are you sure you won't come back to London with us first? Pick up a fresh wardrobe, you know..." He smiled sadly. Kili had also never assumed anyone would want to be left behind. He hated leaving people behind.

"Well, yes, of course," Ori looked around, skin turning slightly pink. "I had imagine we'd _all_ be doing that, right?" he turned to Thranduil. "You do intend to go home, if only to debunk mysteries of your death, don't you?"

"But I would like to return with you," he went on, "to explore and document. What an amazing opportunity that would be. Would you have me?" he asked the leader of the Mirkwood group.

"As someone who works for Durinco or as someone who works for me?" Thranduil canted his head, unsure. As an emissary from Durinco, his company would be forced to rekindle ties, something he wasn't sure he was yet willing to do.

Even Dwalin seemed a little blown away by the news.

"Uh...." Ori seemed at a loss as to how to answer, "well, sir, to be honest, I love my job. Durinco is a solid firm with top-of-the-line people. I'm sure it doesn't seem that way to you, not now. But I'm hoping to change your mind. I wish to stay as their employee—a liaison, if you will—to help with the transition. Perhaps I could even help renegotiate your acquisition of Mirkwood, seeing as how it's currently owned by Educomp, and I happen to be best friends with the son of the president of the company."

Fili's eyed widened. "Educomp owns Mirkwood, Inc?"

"...who, apparently, did not know," Kili couldn't help but grin. "Which means, you're holding the son of the CEO of your company's parent company. Sign it, uncle. I think things are going to be just fine for everyone."

He looked at Thranduil, who looked flabbergasted but slowly, surely, nodded. "If those are your terms and it's just you, then I'm sure we can work out an arrangement."

As Thorin signed the paper and waited for the ink to dry, Thranduil looked over the contract once again. All seemed to be in order. He took out his key and opened the door. "In that case, you're free to go." How strange, to have a prisoner offer to work with him. "Report to a Mr. Andersen, he's in charge of returning you home. And pay no attention to the cameras. It appears we're what you call _big news,_ out there."


	19. Tomorrow, I'm Yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reluctant inhabitants of Mithril Island go home to London. Fili visits his father. Thorin makes good on his promise to return to Tuscany--taking the survivors with him. Fili and Dwalin strike an unusual deal.

Being stranded on an island for two months and suspected dead was a big deal. However, being stranded on an island for _eight years_ and pronounced dead was a much bigger deal. For that reason alone, the surviving members of Durinco didn't have to suffer nearly the press attention given to the Mirkwood returnees. And for that, Fili was relieved.

His mother, as it turned out, had invited her sister to move in soon after Fili's plane had gone down. Thorin had been very serious about the trip to Tuscany. In fact, he offered to take along all of the plane crash survivors. Fili's mother declined to go with them, and her sister decided to stay with her a bit longer. 

Fili, who was none too excited to be getting on yet another plane, decided to go see his father the day before the trip. Clad in comfortable slacks and a casually opened button down shirt, he was shown into his father's office by his lovely young secretary.

"Hello...Dad," he tested the word on his tongue.

A large, once muscular and now mostly voluminous man looked up from his desk. There had been no appointment nor indication of any reunion. More than that, Mr. Disson had on several occasions tried to get in touch with Fili after his return from the island. Reporters had been swarming his offices for a glimpse of him while he himself had to hear his son had been stranded after surviving a plane crash for a month from strangers. So one could say he was surprised.

"Fili?" he managed. "What brought you here? I haven't seen you in ages. You picked up a tan, son." Which was his way of saying, _you look different_. A grown man had walked into his office, not the boy he had once sent away.

Fili smiled nervously. "Yes," he told his father. "I was outside most of the time on the island. I was lucky not to get a sunburn, honestly." He looked around his father's office. "You've redecorated considerably," he observed. "How have you been?"

"There have been a few mergers." Fili's father looked at his office like it was nothing, like he was apologizing for the change, almost. "Things have been good. We've just ended a hiring freeze after one of the child companies started performing poorly. Things are looking up." He reached out his hand. "Take a seat. Can I get you a coffee? It's been so long since I last saw you. Are you happy at Durinco?"

Fili was taken aback that his father would bring up their biggest and most recent source of contention.

"Aside from the plane crash...?" he smiled. "Yes, yes, I'm happy there. I've made some very good contacts and, since the crash, there seem to be even more opportunities waiting just around the corner. Dad," Fili sat forward, "last time I saw you, I said things that...well, I said some awful things to you. Things I didn't mean. I'm sorry for that." He looked down at his hands. "I haven't been appreciative for all that I have. I had a lot of time to think...while I was there. I just wanted to let you know that I thought about you a lot."

A cup of coffee—decent coffee, not in Styrofoam and not just water with a pigment added to keep up the illusion—was placed before him on the wooden table. No coasters, and no secretary. Vili smiled in a stilted fashion. "Oh, son, I haven't exactly been a good father to you either. When your mother contacted me, I thought it was for a financial favor. Instead she called to inform me you were missing. I should have given your choice to work for them more credit than I did. At the time, I thought it was only to mock me. The son of the CEO, working for the company’s biggest rival. But tell me, what happened out there? I've been told you met with the previous owner of the Mirkwood Group there."

"I needed to find out if my skills and education were valuable," Fili explained. "It would have been too cliché—getting a degree, then going directly to work for you. I had to prove myself. I'm really sorry if you saw it as an insult to you personally. I just...I needed to find my way."

He picked up the coffee cup and politely took a sip. "I know that you and Mr. Oakenshield haven't always had the best relationship. I'm in a position to help the two of you work on that, should you ever want to. Additionally, I'd like to help negotiate the sale of Mirkwood Inc. back to Mr. Thranduil."

"Then you're here on a business meeting." That realization made Mr. Disson sad. "I had hoped that after everything that happened, you would come to me as a son and we could have a nice conversation. Instead you bring me tidings of two men I consider to be rivals. It seems I trained you well." Too well, went unspoken.

"No, Dad...." Fili instantly felt as overlooked as he had been as a little boy. Hadn't his father heard anything he had said? His apology? That he'd come to try mend fences between them? Instead, one mention of his rivals had Vili bristling. 

"I'm here as your _son_ ," he clarified, "the son who's avoided you for almost ten years because of moments like this. Do you know how much it hurts to always have you second guessing my choices? Even decisions that you made _for_ me often fall under your scrutiny. At some point you'll have to accept that you have done all you can for me and allow me to fail or succeed or on my own. I, personally, think I'm doing just fine. Mom and I are doing fine," he told the man behind the desk. "Stupid me," Fili looked away sadly, willing himself not to cry. "I thought you might actually be happy to see me. Am I to become just another person on your list of rivals, too?"

His father sagged in his expensive leather seat. "Let's not talk business for awhile, Fili. I don't want to be talking of this company's statistics any more than I want to listen to you talk about Thorin or Thranduil. I want to know about _you_. Your grandmother keeps asking how you are and I'd rather take you there to see her or at least be able to tell her you've grown up into a strong man than tell her that when I had the chance to talk to you," he folded his hands in order not to be waving them around aimlessly, but they kept twitching, "we only talked about business."

"I'd really like to see Nana," Fili admitted, voice softening and posture becoming much less defensive. "As far as me, I'm all right, Dad," he told his father. "Aside from the recent, you know, plane crash. I've been working hard, but, I'm happy. I'm leaving on another trip in the morning. I'll be in Tuscany for a month. Do you think I could go see Nana this afternoon?"

At once his father's composure improved. "Tuscany! That sounds wonderful. You know, I took your mother there once, before you were born. It's a different world. Well, you've been in a different world, I guess. Try and catch a festival if you can, while you're there. Are you going with friends?"

There was still something that blocked talking about the plane crash. Vili did not want to, because he would be forced to remember the countless nights he had lain in bed and imagined what his dead son's last moments would have been like. That Fili turned out to be alive didn't make the memory much better, because he'd still envisioned his son dying and it had been horrible.

He reached for the phone. "How about we asked her?"

Fili nodded. "Yeah. Can we? You should come along too, of course. Maybe we can get dinner together," he suggested. 

After the get-together had been arranged, Fili told his father, "The Tuscany trip is a forced vacation. We're going for a month. Everyone who was involved in the crash. Mr. Oakenshield's rented a villa. He's even taking along the folks who planned the corporate retreat we were heading to when the plane went down. One of the men...he was hurt pretty badly," Fili thought back to how Bifur had looked last time he saw him. "He'll probably have permanent brain damaged, but his physical health is...remarkably good. I—I'm sorry," he paused. "You don't want to hear this, of course. It's just at the forefront of my mind. I've spent the last three days visiting the families of those who died in the crash, returning what personal effects we were able to salvage. It was...rough."

"No, I do. You spent nearly two months on an island without any contact with the outside world. I wouldn't know where to begin finding food, but you didn't lose anyone to famine or disease. That's remarkable. Your friend is writing down his experiences, right? The redhead. I read one of his interviews. Mentioned you, he did." The man got up and walked to look out the window and London's financial district. "I will buy it when it gets out."

Vili turned around. "This man," he started. "Does he have medical bills? If there's a way for me to alleviate the stress or pull some strings, let me know."

Fili smiled at the mention of Ori, glad that his father had noticed. "The airline is taking care of all of that medical stuff," he said. "They made us all spend at least two nights in the hospital getting checked over when we returned. No doubt to cover their asses. But," he met his father's eyes, "if you're really serious about alleviating stress, you'll consider working with Thranduil to return Mirkwood Inc. to him. Imagine how you'd feel if _you_ had been the one back from the dead and your company was gone when you returned."

"I won't just hand it to him," the other man countered. "But perhaps there are some possibilities. Mirkwood's CEO is said to retire within the year. As long as he agrees to keeping it a daughter operation, he may run it. He's always been a good businessman. Does that mean you will not consider a position at Educomp, yourself?"

"To tell the truth, I have no idea what I want to do now," Fili told his father, in all honesty. And it was true. "I'm hoping a month's stay in a beautiful country with good food and soft beds will help me make a level-headed decision," he smiled. "Don't worry, I still have the infamous Disson Work Ethic you instilled in me. I've managed to save up quite a bit of money, Dad."

From then on, the conversation took on a less formal tone. By the time the work day ended and Vili deemed it was time to go see Fili's grandmother, the pair had formed a tenuous, but not unpleasant, alliance. The bond strengthened further when they picked up Fili's grandmother and he got caught up in her warm embrace.

"You're in love," she smiled at him after they'd both had a few glasses of wine.

She had no idea how correct she was.

\- - - - - 

Kili stared up at the gorgeous stone villa covered in vines. Authentic. Evening had fallen and given it a warm, cozy glow. It was a castle of a house. Thorin had spared no expense in its rental.

He looked to his right, where the rest of the group was waiting while Thorin unlocked the heavy front door. Kili really didn't see why Legolas had been brought along, but by the frequency Ori talked to him, it probably had something to do with that.

"Right," Thorin turned to them, "we're all set." He handed everyone a room key and one by one they walked in.

Kili lingered at the door at the end of the row. Dwalin could find their room without him. Instead his eyes were drawn by Thorin and Fili, with a room all to themselves.

Ori cleared his throat.

Fili turned to him. "Hey," he smiled. "Isn't this beautiful? It's like another world. A magical one. I'm so glad you didn't go immediately running off to the island again." He didn't quite know what to say to Legolas—not yet anyway—so he just nodded. But he had vowed to try to make an effort. "A month of wine, food and relaxation," he sighed. "I'm really looking forward to this."

Thorin popped out of their room and pulled Fili's brown suitcases inside, smiling warmly at the trio as he did so.

As soon as Thorin had left them alone, Ori pulled Fili along, looking apologetically to Legolas as a way of saying, _sorry, this is a closed party_. They settled in one of the common rooms with a gorgeous view of night lights in the valley below them. "So?"

"So...what?" Fili shrugged. "We're in the most beautiful home I've ever seen." A fire crackled in a nearby fireplace to emphasize his words. "You want to know if I've made a decision yet? No, Ori, I haven't," he frowned. "I've spoken only briefly to Kili since we returned, and maybe only a bit more to Thorin. I spent the rest of my time with my family," he explained. "I'm hoping being here will help us all figure out what we want. Although," he nudged Ori with his foot, "I notice you and Legolas aren't wasting any time."

Ori smiled and sank further into the plush seat he'd picked for himself, with his legs bungling over the edge and his head leaning against the back.  
"We're...good friends," he said. "He's nice. He's a bit like a reserved version of you. Not that I'm trading you, don't think I will." He reached over and nudged Fili. "Don't tell anyone else and don't judge me: I slept with Dwalin when we got back."

At his best friend's surprised look, Ori laughed with embarrassment. "Oh, come on, it was really, _really_ nice. We both decided it was better if we left it at that, but I had to give it a shot, didn't I? He offered."

Ori looked outside. It was beautiful here. Exactly the kind of wilderness they had been looking for when they crashed. "You're sharing a room with him. Don't think I didn't notice. Kili noticed it too."

"I'm glad...about Dwalin," Fili told him. "I know it was something you were looking forward to." He chuckled. "And I am _not_ worried about being replaced by Legolas." He grew more serious. "Yes, I'm sharing with Thorin. He asked me to," he shrugged. "And...I _want_ to. But I fully intend on spending time with all of you."

At that moment, Bombur and Bilbo entered the room, arguing about prosciutto and pancetta. 

Fili let the subject drop.

\- - - - 

As the days passed, the group found its rhythm in the villa. Bombur had taken over the kitchen, and Bilbo, surprisingly, had become his fast friend and second. Everyone was quite surprised when Baggins actually showed up. He hadn't flown down, having professed he'd never fly again. He drove down through the Channel and across Europe to meet up with them in Sienna.

In the mornings, the pair would borrow a pair of mopeds from the villa garage and ride the short distance to town and visit the markets. They brought back warm bread and breakfast and enough food to feed the company well for the day—and always a different local delight. Bombur was in his element in the rustic Italian kitchen.

Meanwhile, the rest of them all found activities—or no activities at all—that brought them rest and relaxation. Gandalf took long, solitary walks. Bofur dabbled with sculpting, and Ori, when not spending time with Legolas, kept working on writing his memoir of the crash. 

A week into their stay, Kili decided he had had quite enough of watching Ori and Legolas run in circles around each other and Thorin and Fili looking like they would never be without the other. He had to get out. Kili intercepted Dwalin that morning and told him they were going on a hike.

And they did. It took them to a hill they scaled and brought them to a small bistro on their way back. By the time they got back, it was well into the night and they were both in dire need of a bath, laughing as they stumbled in. Kili thought he had needed that. 

One look at Fili made him lose that thought immediately. Nothing was going to change if he wasn't going to make it so.

That was why Kili leaned over the back of the sofa Fili was seated on and said, "We found a gorgeous fissure. You and me, tomorrow?"

Sated on the incredible dinner they'd had of orecchiette with ricotta and chard pan sauce, and far too much white wine, Fili lay his head against the back cushions of the couch and smiled up at him. "Sure," he agreed. "I'd like that, Kili. That is," he rolled his head lazily to face Thorin, who sat two cushions away, reading a book. "if Thorin doesn't mind doing without my company for the day."

Thorin looked up at the duo. He had to process the question directed at him before smiling over his reading glasses. "Not at all, if you're back before dinner. It was going to be a surprise, but I planned a little something special just for the two of us after dinner."

The copy of "Lord of the Flies" in Fili's lap was yet unopened. He had been in the process of texting his mother when Kili arrived.

"Well," Fili said diplomatically, "if Kili thinks it's an adventure that might take more time, we could postpone it for another day." He rolled his head back towards the younger man. "What do you think?" he asked him.

Kili, happy enough that his opinion was considered—whereas Fili asking Thorin's permission had been a slight dent in his pride—felt generous. "It's an adventure that could take days, but I can have you back by dinner if you want. Or, Thorin, you could come along with us."

"No, no," Thorin waved his hand dismissively. "You boys go have your fun. I've been monopolizing Fili's time far too much. I know the island made friends of you two," he admitted. "By all means, spend the day together. Siena has much to offer. Have fun," he smiled as if reliving his own youthful times.

"There you have it," Fili yawned. "Tomorrow, I'm yours."

Kili squeezed Fili in a tight but curt hug. "Tomorrow, you are." He hopped back. "And now, I should really get that shower. Or bath. Or..." Kili reasoned with himself, remembering something, "... _Jacuzzi_. Oh, yes." He offered both of them a broad smile and headed into the garden for the bath house. "Have a good night!"

Kili definitely intended to occupy it for at least an hour.

Fili raised his eyebrows and glanced at Thorin, still wrapped up in the book he'd picked up thirty minutes earlier. "If you have no objections, Thorin, I think I'll jump in the hot tub too. Sounds too good to pass up." He slid across the leather sofa until his thigh was touching the older man's. "How about a hint as to what you have planned for tomorrow night?" he whispered in his ear.

Thorin made a move as if to seal his lips. "I already spoiled half the surprise; don't make me give all of it up. Just be there and don't expect all sorts of things. I want to spend some time with just you without the others around." He knew nobody was watching when he pressed a kiss to Fili's ear. "Go on, I'll be waiting in our room when you get back."

Fili was suddenly overcome with a rush of love. Reaching over, slowly, he slid the book from Thorin's hands, setting it aside, and moved to straddle his lap, nose nuzzling along the older man's throat.

"God, Thorin," he breathed, "I have missed you."

And oh, Thorin shared his sentiment, but he tensed nonetheless. "Fili," he whispered, "here?"

"I just want to kiss you," Fili pushed a stray lock of hair laced with silver away from Thorin's brow. "Everyone here knows about us. We have nothing to hide anymore, Thorin. And certainly nothing to be ashamed of." 

The blond edged down, bringing their pelvises even more tightly together. A curtain of golden hair fell about Thorin as Fili slotted his lips over his and kissed him passionately, desperately, as if trying to compensate for all the lost time.

"Not here."

Thorin closed his book, got up and put Fili back on the floor. If Fili thought it was a dismissal, he was wrong. Thorin took his hand and walked them back to the room they shared, which he opened for him and closed behind him. As soon as they were in the privacy of the bedroom, where nobody could think less of a relationship between employer and employee, Thorin cupped his chin and kissed him.

"Here."

Any glimmer of intention Fili had had of joining Kili in the hot tub quickly left his mind. Thorin descended upon him like a man starving, and Fili responded in kind. They wrung pleasure from one another for hours, in a way they hadn't since weeks before the plane crash, until exhaustion claimed them shortly after midnight.

When he slept, Thorin looked all the more like Kili—carefree and untroubled, a slight smile pulling up the corners of his mouth. Fili lay, head propped up on one arm, watching the steady rise and fall of the man's back, breathing in the scent of his hair, his body, their sex, and he felt ridden with guilt for all the fantasies he'd had about Kili since they had kissed.

Thorin loved him. He wasn't as demonstrative as Kili, but he certainly was passionate and possessive and not afraid to show his affection behind closed doors. Fili loved being held down by those massive hands and fucked, as much as he loved the helpless look in Thorin's eyes when he had him wriggling, wanting. 

Would he and Thorin ever be able to walk proudly down a street, arm in arm? Would Thorin kiss him in public? 

_Not here._

The words haunted him. Would be always be Thorin's secret? Was it enough?

When he finally fell asleep, he had the plane crash dream again, but this time, he was able to comfort himself by taking Thorin into his arms.

\- - - - - 

Wednesday morning met them drearily.

"Look at that," Ori said while he pointed at the floor-to-ceiling window over breakfast, which only they, Bombur, Bilbo and Fili shared. "I never thought it could rain in Italy. It's pouring. I really wanted to go out today. There was said to be this thing in the village, some kind of parade. I don't think anyone brought an umbrella or a raincoat, did they?" He looked disappointed.

Nothing, however, beat Kili's look as he sleepily trudged down the steps and woke at the pitter-patter of rain against glass. His shoulders sagged.

Fili gave Kili a contrite look and shrugged sadly. "We'll have to postpone that nature walk," he informed him of the obvious. "But, remember on our first night here when we found all those board games in the solarium? Maybe today we can break those out? It might be fun to play Clue in Italian."

"Era il signor Green in cucina con la corda!" Bilbo smiled around his bread with fruit compote.

"What's that now?" Fili wondered.

"It was Mr. Green, in the kitchen, with the rope!" Bilbo explained.

"That Mr. Green sounds like a kinky bastard," Ori grinned, reaching for the bread.

Fili pulled out the chair next to him, beckoning for Kili to sit down.

The prospect of Clue did however not cheer Kili up. He took a roll, started tearing small bites off and stared outside. "I think I'll go anyway," he said. If only to be alone. It felt like whatever he tried, there was always something keeping him from spending proper time with Fili. Thorin and Ori had all the luck. "It'll just be a shorter walk, I guess." He turned to Bilbo. "You know Italian?"

"Well, of course I do. I'm a steward. _Was_. Hey, if you're serious about going out in weather like this, could you run an errand for me on the way back?"

"Kili, it's coming down in sheets out there. You'll catch your death," Fili pondered aloud. "Maybe we can use that car that's in the garage. D'you think that's part of the deal? A rainy day errand adventure could suffice, I suppose."

Kili got up. He shrugged despondently, muttered, "You want to drive on the right side of the road in this weather?" and headed back to his room, clutching his bread in his hands. Fili had no idea, no idea of how Kili was feeling. He had tried on several occasions to spend time with Fili, but always there was Thorin. Thorin, who was his uncle and who deserved someone more than anything, but Kili wished it just wasn't Fili.

Like Kili didn't know what they had been up to, when five minutes after he had decided on a night at the Jacuzzi, he had realized just before stripping that he'd forgotten his bathrobe and returned to the main house, only to see Thorin pulling Fili up the stairs. Oh, Kili knew he was on the losing side. He cursed Thranduil for that most of all. But it did nothing to diminish the hurt.

"I'm going back to bed," he said. "Maybe in a few hours."

Fili's eyes followed Kili as he left the room in a funk, knowing full well there was more than the weather to blame.

"Tell me about this errand," he turned to Bilbo, thinking that if maybe Kili didn't feel like it, he and Ori could get some time together.

No-one at the table thought Kili's departure was ordinary, and so most of them sat watching the exchange between Fili and Kili, short as it was.

"I know a guy who has other places he'd rather want to be when I see one," Bombur said. "Is something the matter at home? Trouble with friends? Not," he realized and quickly stuffed another morsel in his mouth, "that it's my business. Sorry. I'll just...so, about that errand?" He turned hopefully to Bilbo.

"Ah. Yes, well, it's only a few ingredients. But I was thinking," he nodded at Fili, "what's Kili’s favorite dish? I don't know what's wrong, but we could try to cheer him up, can't we? You know, show support."

Fili tried to think back through the conversations he'd had with Kili, particularly those on the floor of the cage in Thranduil's compound. He couldn't remember Kili ever mentioning what his favorite food was. Not that it would matter in this particular instance. The pain on his face was evident.

"I don't know, guys," he told the expectant pair. "I wish I did." His voice sounded defeated. "I'm sure he'd be thrilled no matter what you made for him. It's all so delicious," Fili stood. "I'm going to check on him," he told them. "If I find out anything, I'll let you know. And I'll happily go get groceries for you later, if you want."

"I'll go with you," Ori tried to cheer him up. It was hard not to draw the parallels between Ori's infatuation and Kili's, and it seemed that Kili's was equally hopeless. Ori wanted to reach out and say that Kili would find someone else, eventually, but it wasn't his decision to make and it certainly wasn't something anyone else needed to know. He gestured Fili to go on.

The door to Kili's room was shut. Surprisingly, Dwalin had just left it when Fili approached. Their eyes met and Dwalin winced. "Wouldn't go in there if you're looking for Kili, if I were you. Looks like he needs some time alone."

Fili bit his lip. A part of him just wanted to rush into that room and try to make Kili feel better. But how could he do that when he was certain he was the cause of Kili's pain? Instead, he nodded to Dwalin, who clearly knew Kili better than he did after all this time.

"You're right, of course," he conceded to him. "I'll give him all the space he needs. But, I wonder, could I talk to _you_ , Dwalin? Alone." 

"...Sure." Dwalin eyed Fili suspiciously. "Not here, right? The, ah, attic?"

Fili never needed to talk to him, but the boy probably asked for a reason. Dwalin headed for the attic, waited for Fili and closed the latch. Above them sounded the rain against the clay tiled roof. Dwalin sat down in the windowsill. "What is wrong?"

"Something tells me you already know," Fili, who was always a bit nervous around Dwalin for reasons he never quite understood, was even more so now. Still, Dwalin was one of the few people in the company who never said a harsh word about his involvement with Thorin. In fact, he'd always been very supportive, despite the fact that he himself had a romantic past with Durinco's CEO. "Kili..."

"...likes you," Dwalin finished. "Am I right?"

Fili nodded. "He does, yes. And I _like_ him, a lot." Fili admitted. "When we were on the island..." 

Oh, he was so embarrassed to talk about that kiss Thranduil had forced upon them in exchange for their freedom. But he told Dwalin everything about that, and their time chained together, including his theory that he felt Thranduil had been actively trying to play matchmaker with the two of them, in order to undermine Thorin.

"So, while I won't lie to you and say that I feel nothing for Kili—because that couldn't be further from the truth—I feel as if I don't know him well enough to begin to offer him what he needs. Especially because I do love Thorin. I'm not sure everyone in the company quite understands our relationship, but he is a very good man, and I love him. I know I don't have to tell you that they are both very good people."

Fili paced away and then back. "This is killing me, Dwalin. I need your advice," he begged. "You are close to both of them. Am I wasting my time with Thorin, hoping he'd allow me to love him and keep my job? Should I just stay far away from them both? That's what I feel like doing right now...running away and starting over somewhere else."

For a painstakingly long moment, Dwalin was silent. People didn't come to him for advice like this, and they certainly wouldn't make him pick between Thorin and Kili about who was the better match.

"That's up to you lad," he sighed at last. "I lost Thorin when he became head of the company. I've stayed with him for years, but the man I lost never returned. But if there's one thing that may have opened his eyes, it's the island. And Kili, Kili... if you could have picked, I would ask that it wasn't him. He sounds confident, but he's never had much happiness when it comes to love. If you're going to choose Thorin, you let Kili know, because he is fragile and I suspect that seeing you with Thorin right now isn't doing him any good. But I can't make the choice for you, Fili. That has to be you."

"Dwalin," Fili drew closer to the other man, "all I have to go on is what I _know_ to be true and what I can divine to be true, based on what I know of these two men. I know that you and Kili...you have a long past and a somewhat intimate one. Are you suggesting I choose Thorin because you might want to solidify things with Kili? Or—and please don't think any answer you give will upset me—do you have hopes to rekindle things with Thorin? I know for a fact the two of you have taken trips to Tuscany together. He told me. He has very fond memories of that time, and you. I'm sorry things didn't work out with you two. But, given the chance, would you try?"

Dwalin barked a laugh that he quickly quieted down. "Fili Disson, if you're considering me to swoop in on the pieces after you're done, you have a thing or two to learn about me yet and I, it seems, about you. Yes, Kili and I have had years of challenging each other, but I can tell you, we only did something about it twice, and both of those times were on the island. We had fun. There is nothing romantic between us. There never will be. And I've long given up on Thorin, especially since you came into the picture. That ship has sailed, my friend. He does not see me that way anymore."

"Don't be so sure about that, Dwalin," Fili told him. "The whole time he was planning this trip, all he did was talk about you and all the good times you two had here. I had to bite my tongue on several occasions to keep from telling him you two should be here alone. I'm sorry if you think I'm asking you to pick up any pieces. That's not the case at all. I am, however, asking you what _you_ want. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable," the blond apologized. "I won't bring it up again."

With a mood to match the weather, Fili departed the attic, remembering why Dwalin made him so uncomfortable. He had to make a decision, and soon; he wasn't looking forward to it. He supposed that evening at dinner with Thorin would be a good time to start asking the hard questions.

The latch to the attic opened behind him and Dwalin followed. He put his hands in his pockets as he stood behind him.

"If I tell you I want a shot," he grumbled, "what are you going to do about it?"

Fili chuckled, validated.

"Thorin has plans for us this evening. Dinner, possibly more. He and I need to talk, Dwalin. After that, I'll try to give you as much time with him as I can for a few days, a week even. I'll stay out of your way. Try to mend fences with Kili...does that sound reasonable?"

Dwalin doubted his intentions, but they betrayed him nonetheless. "Nobody finds out about this agreement, are we understood? I have no high hopes of this working out, but in case it does...do I have need of your permission?" What he meant to say was, what if more happened? What if Dwalin found Thorin willing? Or was Fili going to come back after those few days and reclaim him, making anything that could happen wrong by default? "Are you sure about this?"

Dwalin was.

Fili smiled, but it was a sad one. He felt terribly possessive and protective of Thorin, regardless. 

"Just give me tonight, Dwalin," he asked. "I have always, _always_ been mindful of your past together. I won't say or do anything to influence his decision either way. Tonight, I want to talk about my job, all right? Then," he met Dwalin's eyes, "I'll give you that time with him. See what happens." 

In his chest, remorse and pain welled up, but he couldn't, wouldn't, let it spill out of his eyes. "Good luck."

"You assume a bad outcome." Dwalin frowned. He didn't know to act around these youngsters, so unsure of themselves. Thorin loved Fili. He may not be the easiest to live with when it came to other things, but Fili had to know at least that. "It's not going to be a game, Fili. He doesn't deserve that, and frankly, neither of us are the kind to play games. If tonight is going to hurt him, I will be there to offer a shoulder. That's how it has always been, and that's how it will be. The only thing you're telling me is that in that case, I don't have to worry about your feelings as well." He smiled sadly and extended a hand.

"How can there be a good outcome?" Fili whispered, accepting the proffered hand and shaking it firmly. "Either way, someone loses, don't they? And maybe, someone wins. Thank you, Dwalin, for talking with me honestly. You can always be counted on for honesty."


	20. All We Need to Make This Perfect is a Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili and Fili head into Siena for an afternoon of adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in two days? We must be filled with the Christmas spirit!

Fili, when he parted ways with Dwalin, wandered to the living room, where he sat down by the crackling fire and picked up "Lord of the Flies" again. But the story of the crew, shipwrecked on an island, too closely mirrored his own recent experience, and he put the book down with a sigh.

He had vowed to give Kili some time, so he amused himself until shortly after lunch by exploring the villa from stem to stern. Around two in the afternoon, the rain let up and a tentative sun peeked out. 

He found Kili in the garden.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" he asked the brunet, who was studying a trellis full of morning glories.

Kili was slightly sluggish as he moved to Fili. He smiled. "It's good." The fissure would have been much better, but it was no good mentioning that. "Did you get to go on that errand for Bilbo? Otherwise now would be the perfect time. It doesn't look like it'll be raining much, the rest of the day. Just on and off, probably."

His attention was caught by something small and his smile became more wholesome, reaching out for it and returning with a small snail on his hand. "Rainy days, eh?"

Fili smiled at the tiny creature. He hadn't seen it there.

"The errand...ah, yes, about that..." he stammered, "Bilbo and Bombur couldn't help but notice you were in the doldrums this morning. They wanted to make something special for you. Your favorite dish, in fact. Of course, none of us knows what that is. They wanted me to find out."

"I don't have one." Kili blinked before he put the snail away gently and watched it sit on the wet leaf, glistening in the sun. "There are several, I guess. Pasta is always good. Maybe a different shape, try out something new? But you really don't have to do anything special just for me. I was sleepy. Sorry if I made you worry."

"Well, if we head to la cuchina, they’ll be able to put together a list for us...to go pick up. Are you game? We can take the mopeds…"

"You mean go into town?" It was remarkable, Kili thought, how much space everyone had, even with so many people. The villa was enormous. He looked around and saw only Bofur nosing about a little further off. "I...all right. I've never driven a moped before," he admitted while fidgeting with his shirt. "Don't laugh."

"Me either," Fili smiled, "but Bilbo gave me a crash course. Well, maybe _crash_ is a poor choice of words. We'll figure it out; we'll take it slowly. And, yes of course I mean into town...into Siena. Come with me?"

Kili considered that. The trip to the fissure wasn't going to be in there for him, and part of him was still upset about that. But into Siena on mopeds, just to run an errand...The streets would be abandoned because of the rain, and who knew, it could be rainbow weather.

Above all, it was time with Fili, time that regardless of Kili's trouble coping with him and Thorin, he did miss.

He got up to his feet. "We'd best get moving then."

Ten minutes later, he jammed the throttle and stopped with a loud laugh, half sprawled over the steering wheel where the force of the moped had sent him.

"Don't laugh," he pouted when Bilbo, sending them off, was practically doubling over, himself.

"We don't need to rush this," Fili told him as they rode side by side down the villa's lane towards the small winding road that led into Siena. "We've got six hours before the sun goes down. But we should try to be back at a reasonable time, so Bombur can cook." 

The engines of the mopeds hummed quietly enough for them to have a normal conversation as they traveled. Aside from a few larger puddles, the course was clear, if they kept their eyes open.

"I wonder," Fili looked at the natural beauty around him, "how the people who live here actually get any work done. It's so beautiful. I'd want to be outside all the time, or hunkered down in a cafe with a cannoli and an expresso."

"Maybe if you owned a cafe." The road was bumpy and treacherous because of the rain, but they managed just fine. A fine drizzle had begun again. Kili loved it. He should have probably taken something more than a vest though. "I definitely wouldn't be working in an office if I lived here. We _can_ go for a coffee later, you know."

"We should, later this week," Fili agreed. "Ori says there are at least seven cafes in town that he and Legolas have discovered. They're getting pretty chummy, those two," he added. "You never can tell, can you?"

"How do you mean?" Kili kept his eyes on the pebbles and their surroundings. He got a dreamy look in his eyes. "This place makes me want to save up and get a camera. I'd come back at a rainy forecast and just shoot away."

"Aw, Kee," Fili smiled. "You don't have to save up. We have an expense account—all of us. Thorin will let you buy whatever you like, you know that. We can get you a camera this afternoon," he assured him, "if you want."

Kili was however adamant. "I'm going to earn it. That way, it'll be my camera." Not someone else's charity. He would probably think differently if Thorin or Fili gave him a camera directly, instead of offering money. Kili was aware of his own double standards, and decided he didn't care.

"So, about Ori..." Kili couldn't help his curiosity. "Are they seeing each other? I get that Legolas hardly knows anyone, but the amount of time he's spending in Ori's company can't be just that."

"They've grown close," Fili told him. "Seems crazy, but you know as well as I do how hard it is to control attraction that others might view as unwarranted." The blond frowned. Why couldn't Kili simply accept Thorin's generosity? Thorin wanted to badly to be a better uncle to Kili, maybe the sort of man he might come to approach some day as a father. But that would never happen if neither of them could let go of their pride. Fili huffed in annoyance. 

They were drawing closer to the town and needed to focus on the directions Bilbo had given him. "Left here," he pointed.

Fili had no idea that Kili wanted to be able to earn his own things exactly in order to make his uncle proud. They turned left and Kili gaped at the sight they beheld. The street was narrow and empty, winding gently upward, and lit with a single ray of sunlight. The raindrops reflected fell like tinsel—only much, much more beautiful.

"Can we stop just a second?" he whispered.

"Of course," Fili paused, switching off the moped and pushing it over to the side of the street. Photos were fine, he thought, but nothing beat memories of places like this. No photograph could capture the smell of the air—the way the warm scent of baking bread and cinnamon from a bakery up the hill had been trapped by the humidity and pushed down the street towards them. He could also smell someone's herb garden that surely had to be nearby. 

Kili hopped onto a small cast iron fence and looped his ankles around the bars. His eyes took in everything in wonder.

He grinned like a man infatuated. Since his own love life was a bit of a mess, it was exactly what he needed. "It's beautiful. Do you have your phone with you? If you do, take a picture for me?" Kili patted the fence next to him. "Come here." He smiled warmly at a lady passing them by.

"I do," Fili withdrew the phone from his pocket.

Kili pointed at the street. "There," he encouraged Fili. It was nice, sitting here. "You were right. All we need to make this perfect is a coffee."

Fili snapped a few quick photos of rain-kissed hill, then turned the camera to Kili. Kili sat with his eyes closed, his smiling face turned to the streaming beam of sun. He looked ethereal, like an angel...with stubble. Fili snapped a photo of his wistful face, then another.

"You look..." Fili began, "you just look so _peaceful,_ " he concluded. _And handsome._ "C'mon," he came back to himself, "gotta get the groceries."

"Mh, you took pictures of me, didn't you?" asked the younger, his eyes still closed and very much not moving despite Fili's prompt. "Don't tell me, and don't show me. I really think I'd like that cup of coffee more than groceries now. Are you very sure we shouldn't look around for a cafe?"

He was not peaceful, not by a long shot, but it was an appreciated calm between storms.

"Do you ever take walks when it's raining outside, not because you have to but because you can? With everyone hiding inside and the whole world to yourself..."

"I'm more of a 'get up early in the morning and watch the sun rise' kind of guy," Fili countered him. "Less chance of pneumonia," he chuckled. "Do you smell that? Someone's baking something incredible, and it's bound to be nearby. We can grab a quick cup of coffee and a piece of...well, of whatever smells so amazing. But then, groceries?" 

He turned the key and his Vespa came back to life. "Sbrigati, Kili!" he smiled.

Kili was still in his buzz. The light was beginning to fade again and there was no reason not to continue soon. "What's that mean?" He peeked an eye at Fili, moved to his own Vespa, and revved. "Coffee. Not vegetables. Lead the way."

_I love you._

It was just a stray thought, one he was glad he hadn't spoken aloud, but Kili's mind jammed.

Fili just smiled mysteriously and urged his motorbike up the hill. About halfway up, they found the source of the cinnamon smell—a tiny pastry shop nestled in an alcove fashioned of terra cotta colored bricks. "Here we go," the blond smiled, dismounting. Kili followed him inside.

"Buon pomeriggio," Fili smiled at the mustached man behind the glass counter. "What are you baking that smells so amazing?"

"Ah!" the little man grinned proudly. "Cannoncini!" he announced, pulling a tray full of trumpet-shaped pastries from the case. Some appeared to be stuffed with fruits, others with creme or a cinnamon-sugar mixture.

"I'll take a cinnamon one," Fili pointed, and two caffès as well. What do you want, Kili?" he asked his friend.

Kili pointed out the creme-filled one. He felt like a bad tourist next to Fili, knowing practically no Italian except for the standard 'hello' and 'have a nice day'. Perhaps he should have brushed up on some sentences just before they left, or brought his phone with an internet connection along. Instead of interfering in the other two doing the talking, he looked around at the interior. Kili was still a little off his game because of his previous thoughts anyway. There was a sweet smell in the shop, without the place being littered with cupcakes and pink glazes. Several small seats had been huddled around tables, seats that looked so cozy he wanted to sit there and not leave for another few hours.

He waited for Fili to finish up and then, instead of running the risk of going outside, he steered them both to one of the tables, sat back, and smiled. Kili's foot nudged Fili's. "Take off your coat, it's nice and warm here. You know, this is almost as good as going on that hike, but that doesn't mean you're off the hook."

"What? No, of course, not," Fili smiled. "I fully intend to make good on that hike," he told Kili, taking a bite of the pastry and making a face like he'd died and gone to heaven.

"Oh my god," he muttered around the flaky, soft, still-warm dough. "So good."

Kili watched him with an unreadable look. That which was on his mind was definitely not suitable for sharing. He bit the inside of his cheek and broke off a small morsel from Fili's cannoncini for himself, which he pushed past his lips and tasted. A silly smile broke out on his lips.

"It _is_ good! Here," and he offered Fili a piece of his own, "try this."

Fili sniffed at it—an adorably habitual affectation—trying to discern if there was any coconut in it. When he deemed it safe for consumption, he popped it in his mouth. 

"Mmm," he reacted. "Very rich. Delicious, but rich. You're going to be in a sugar coma all afternoon. Here, drink this," he pushed one of the coffees towards him.

"I'm curious," he leaned towards Kili, "did being on the island, or coming home, make you reevaluate your career decisions in any way? Are you planning to stay at Durinco, or, I dunno, do something else?"

“Well,” Kili admitted, fidgeting with the sugar caddy, “I did speak to Thorin about possibly becoming a liaison for the company. I’d get to scout new locations, that sort of thing.”

"Really?" Fili's eyes locked with his, the disappointment evident. "Where would you be stationed? Or would you be traveling a lot? Either way, I guess I wouldn't be seeing much of you," Fili lamented. "But I know you weren't meant to be hemmed in by four walls and a door with your name on it. When we were on the island, you talked about a farm...or a ranch somewhere," he remembered. "Have you thought more about that?"

Kili huddled closer into his chair and took a drink from his cup with slightly shaking fingers. "Well, not really. I don't have the money for that yet. Maybe in a few years, when I've saved up. And what about you? Are you staying as Thorin's assistant?"

Ah, there was the million dollar question.

"I haven't decided yet," Fili said quietly, and they let the subject drop in lieu of more pleasant ones.

Kili understood what that meant. He took another sip and broke off another small part to offer his friend in silent apology for making this so difficult. "We should probably get go—"

He was in the midst of pointing outside when another downpour hit them. Kili closed his mouth.

"Another?" he offered meekly. "Or just make a run for it? I don't mind making a run for it."

"Maybe we should have opted for the car after all," Fili eyed the weather mournfully. "Ah well, at least we're inside and it's warm. No more sweet stuff," he smiled, "but another coffee would be nice." He knew Kili was itching to go dance in the rain, which was something he'd probably really enjoy seeing, but he didn't want to be responsible for Kili coming down with a cold.

Fili was standing up to go order another round of coffees when a trio of dark-haired young men rushed, laughing, into the bakery.

They fell silent when they saw they weren't alone. They took their time looking Fili and Kili over in a way that made them both a little uncomfortable.

One turned to his companions and said, " I suoi capelli sono come il miele. Mi piacerebbe un gusto."

They chuckled in response.

Fili's Italian wasn't strong enough to discern what the man had said. He raised his eyes to the baker in front of him, who translated. "He said that your hair is like honey," he turned pink, "and that he wouldn't mind tasting."

Then it was Fili's turn to blush. "Oh… thank you," he paid the baker, and hastily returned to the table where Kili was waiting for him. 

Kili hadn't heard, but he knew that look. "Come here," and he slipped his hand into Fili's as soon as he sat down. It was innocent enough not to be offensive, and yet obvious enough to stop anyone from getting ideas. "That guy was hitting on you, wasn't he? I know that look." Kili threw one back at the men with an apologetic smile.

He didn't know what came over him, but he pecked Fili on his cheek warmly.

Fili squeezed the hand gratefully and slid his chair a few inches closer to Kili's. He leaned over and whispered in his ear, "Thanks. Let's finished these...then we can get wet, all right?"

Still, the brazen trio continued to watch them, obviously intrigued by these exotic out-of-towners. 

"I guess they don't get a lot of tourists in this neck of the woods," Fili said, nervously.

"They make you nervous?" With Kili's chestnut hair, he didn't stand out around these parts, but he both enjoyed Fili's awkwardness around the attention and felt bad for him at the same time. Kili looked at the three over his shoulder and made eye contact. At once he veered back, equally flushed. "Drink up."

"A little," Fili admitted, and shivered. "It's flattering, don't get me wrong. But the last thing I need or want right now is that kind of attention from anyone else. My hands are quite full," he smiled, then his eyes darkened. When he noticed two of the men walking their way, Fili insisted quietly, "Kiss me."

Kili's eyes searched Fili's. He wanted to shake his head—not like this, not when Fili was still with Thorin. But as he noticed the men closing in on them, he decided he could bend the rules a little. Kili's hand cupped Fili's cheek, while his lips pressed against his shoulder and moved up to the spot just under his ear. Kili didn't turn the nuzzle into a full kiss until his own body betrayed him.

The pair's public display of affection did little to deter their admirers, who stood by patiently—eagerly—watching.

"You two...American?" the taller of the two asked.

Fili pulled away from Kili, breathless. "U.K.," he told him, squeezing Kili's thigh below the glass tabletop.

"We have apartment...up hill," the smaller, but more handsome youth told them. "You come with us? We have dinner...have fun," he raised his eyebrows suggestively. 

"You are both," they could tell the taller man was searching for the correct word, "bel paio. Beautiful couple."

The third youth, who had stayed behind at their table, groaned. It was clear he was a bit uncomfortable with his friends' actions.

Kili smiled seductively, betraying his madly beating heart. "I'm sorry, but I don't share."

The tallest translated what Kili said to his friends, who didn't respond favorably.

"Che peccato," he pouted. "What a pity. Noi tutti vogliamo scopare il tuo ragazzo," he said, which was clearly something both seductive and lascivious, because the shopkeeper cleared his throat uncomfortably. Neither Kili or Fili knew enough of the language to discern what he was trying to say, but when he reached towards Fili and ran the back of a brazen hand down the side of his face, Fili pulled away from the touch.

"Let's go, Kili," he stood up, barely keeping the wrought iron chair he'd been seated in from falling over. "We have groceries to pick up."

"Sei così bella!" The shorter man called after them as they left the cafe. "We're sorry! You are both so beautiful."

Outside, the rain had relented a bit, but was still coming down steadily enough to assure they'd both be soaked to the bone.

"The grocery's just around the corner, according to Bombur," Fili told the brunet, pulling at his sleeve. It was clear the encounter had unnerved him. "It's not too far."

Kili hugged himself. "Fee, don't take this the wrong way, but if you ask me to kiss you again...You really shouldn't ask me to kiss you again. I can't do that to Thorin." _Fili_ couldn't do that to Thorin. Kili felt like he was both shaken and on fire. He got on the Vespa and waited for Fili to point him the direction, but he revved it quickly when he saw two of the men exit the cafe.

They were quiet when they perused the aisles for the ingredients and on the way back. Just before they reached home, a rain shower passed over them and drenched them. To both of their surprise, it finally broke Kili's tension, and he started to laugh. 

Kili's hurt look had haunted Fili as they shopped. He'd been selfish. He'd gotten scared. The idea of being flanked—surrounded—again by three strange men had triggered his fight or flight mechanism. He did the first thing that came naturally. He reached out to Kili to protect him, which he had. Fili had no doubt that Kili would have physically fought those three men to keep him safe, if it came to that.

"I'm sorry," he told Kili, as they unpacked four bags full of groceries from the back baskets of the Vespas and carried them inside. "I panicked. I just...I didn't want them touching me, or you. I got scared. I'm sorry."

Kili flicked his nose sweetly—which beat kissing his cheek, or cupping his face, all of the above were very strong urges—and huddled into the house. His shoes left wet prints on the floor, as did his bare feet when he got rid of them. "That was bizarre, wasn't it? To be honest, I have no idea what just happened. I had fun, apart from them."

Kili looked at him with a look of happiness. He started padding to the door in a backward fashion. "You should get a hot shower."

"Me?" Fili smiled. "You're soggier by far! C'mon, let's get this food to the kitchen. Bombur's probably twitching like mad in there."

"Kili!" Bilbo scolded him when they finally arrived. "You're tracking water all over the house!"

"We come in peace," Fili announced, as they sat down bags full of ingredients for the evening's meal. "I can't wait to see what you two make of this."

"I know," Kili grinned widely as he stomped a little bit of extra water on the floor, waited for Bilbo to take the bait, then ran off to his room for a shower. He laughed as he fled, bumped wholly into Dwalin, who took one look at his now wet clothes and groaned, "Kili!" and ran faster up the flight of stairs. "Sorry about that!" Kili called back.

He was out of his clothes and under the hot water in no time. When Kili was done with that, he lay on his bed to stare at the wall, hugging his knees. He didn't care if they'd just escaped something possibly dangerous. Fili hadn't yet made his decision fall on Thorin and Kili had gotten to kiss Fili, in a way that made him want more but also at least made him able to still look his uncle in the eye. The smile was impossible to wipe off his face. Not all was lost.

When he got back down in warm clothes, a good hour had passed and the food was about ready.

  
\- - - - - 

Fili, meanwhile, had taken his own shower. When he emerged in a cloud of steam from the bathroom, a white towel swathing his hips, Thorin was sitting on the bed waiting for him.

"Hey," Fili smiled. "How was your day?"

Thorin looked him over with a smile. He liked what he saw. "Peaceful. I got up late, took a long bath and read a bit. I didn't look at my emails once." He was proud of that. "The day's not over yet, and the best thing is yet to come. You were out with Kili, right? How was it?"

"Grocery run...in the rain, no less," he smiled. "We found a nice little cafe...so beautiful, such warm colors. I had a cannoncini. Cinnamon. Beyond delicious. We would have brought enough home for everyone, but there wasn't room on the mopeds," he smiled. "Bombur and Bilbo are making some sort of special meal for Kili tonight," he told Thorin, removing his towel and reaching for the pair of black boxer-briefs he'd lain out on the bed.

Thorin tugged him closer before he could get there. "Why are they making something special for Kili?" he asked huskily. "I rather intended to whisk you away into town for food tonight."

"Mmm," Fili slotted himself against Thorin, who was himself casually clad in jeans and a button down shirt. He looked relaxed and fucking sexy as hell. "I know," he lay a kiss to Thorin's neck. "I was looking forward to it. Are we still going?" he took a deep whiff of Thorin's hair, face lingering in the crook of his neck, hyper aware of his nudity.

"I think we should be here if dinner's in honor of Kili," Thorin considered that, lay back on the bed and pulled Fili down on top of him. "But if we don't eat much and skip dessert, I'm sure we can make it work. Are they making cinnamon rolls? Kili always loved those."

"He likes cinnamon, huh?" Fili wondered. "Today he ordered a pastry with creme filling. _I_ had cinnamon," he mused. "Bombur gave us a list of ingredients. I think he mentioned he might be making something alfredo... I dunno," Fili was too distracted by Thorin's massive hands on his ass and his hard body beneath him to offer much in the way of a coherent answer.

He pulled his thoughts together by sitting up, straddling the CEO’s hips. Biting his lips, he found just the spot at which to position his behind in order to bring Thorin pleasure through his clothing by sinuously moving against him. When Thorin raised a hand to touch him, Fili scolded him and pushed both hands down on the pillow on either side of Thorin's head.

"Keep them there," he said gently. "I've got this. I want you to come in your pants like a teenage boy, Mr. Oakenshield."

Thorin groaned. The neatly tidied sheets were quickly crumpled when he moved, and once he tried to get Fili under him, but the man squirmed so craftily that Thorin found himself panting with a tense body and an aching hardness, ready to unwind. "Not these pants," he tried as his head tipped back, "they're exp—expensive. God damn you, Fili, you'll be the death of me." Strong hands gripped Fili's hips and pulled them down.

"They're _jeans,_ Thorin," Fili sighed, exasperated. "Come washes out of denim. I should know," he smiled. "But if you'd rather we wait..." he ceased his motions, sucking his lower lip into his mouth, teasingly.

The other's hips pushed up. "No, you don't." Thorin pulled Fili down for a kiss that left them both breathless. His fingers wrapped around Fili's naked cock, standing well at attention. "At least if you're going to stain it," he licked his lips, "let’s do it right."

\- - - - - 

Gandalf pushed away from the table and lit his pipe. "Bombur, Bilbo," he told the pair, "that was, without question, the most incredible thing I've ever eaten."

"What was it again?" Bofur asked.

"Fettuccine alfredo with spinach and prosciutto," Bilbo said, pride in his voice. "Bombur's sauces...bellissimo!" He made an adorably Italian gesture with his hand that had them all chuckling.

"Who wants more wine?" Nori emerged from the kitchen, a bottle in each hand, which was followed by a cacophony of clinking glassware.

Sated on food and drink, Fili gently squeezed Thorin's hand under the table. Thorin looked happy, so young and carefree. He couldn't help but notice Dwalin looking at him with desire in his own eyes. It was perfectly understandable.

On the other side of the table, Kili looked like he was glowing. He kept being dragged into new conversations, or leading them himself. He looked at Fili once or twice, but in that same measure did he smile at Thorin, so as not to be too obvious. Good food, better company and wine—beer seemed to have been banned, on Bilbo's behalf—gave his nose and cheeks a rosy glow.

"We should get going soon," Thorin whispered to Fili. The smile didn't leave him. Thorin felt good today. "I didn't want to interrupt anything, but I have to admit, I made a reservation and we're expected there in half an hour."

Ori nudged Fili. "Are you going somewhere?" He had overheard by accident, but Ori was louder than Thorin and Fili were, which meant that soon, half of the company knew. 

"Oh, but you have to stay for dessert," Bilbo lamented. "Please stay for dessert?"

"Save some for us?" Fili asked the former steward, rising. "I'm sure it'll be incredible. Thorin made these plans before you made yours, Mr. Baggins. I'm sorry. We mean no disrespect to you—or your dessert."

"Oh, all right." Bilbo gave a mock huff. Next to him, Kili's spirits had lightly dampened. Nonetheless he decided not to be affected by this and pointed out, "You're missing out though. These two have been in the kitchen for hours."

Dori chimed in, "And it smelled divine."

"Oh, yes, yes," said Gloin, and the group burst out into nods and affirmations. That didn't make it very easy for Thorin to get up and apologize for leaving early. He waited for Fili and bowed at everyone. "Have a good evening, men."


	21. You Haunt Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Thorin have "the talk." Decisions are made.

A cab was waiting to take Thorin and Fili into town. By the time they got to the restaurant, they had five minutes to spare. Thorin opened the door for Fili and offered him a hand out of the taxi. There was no doubt about it when Fili lay eyes on the restaurant. This was expensive—and private.

That was confirmed when they were led to a room lit with candles and a window with a gorgeous view, in which their table was the only one.

"Thorin," Fili whispered after they'd been seated. "I wish you would have prepared me! I would have dressed better!" he looked around him. Not that it mattered. They were alone.

 _Alone._

And below them the lights of the town dotted the landscape like fireflies. 

"I doubt I can eat much," he confessed.

"We can order anything we like. That includes miniature dishes. It doesn't have to be a lot of food for it to be good," Thorin smiled. "Trust me, I can't fit much more in here myself. We can also just sit here, watch the scenery and spend time together. There are no rules." Not when he had paid so much for this private room. If they wanted to, they could simply lock the doors and be alone for the rest of the night. "Just a night with just the two of us, without the others."

A strong wave of emotions washed over Fili then. The crash, the stressful weeks leading up to it, the time on the island, being confined with Kili...the stolen kisses they had exchanged.

He needed to tell Thorin what had been going on with Kili. His hand trembled as he reached for his glass of water.

Thorin saw it, but he smiled. It was a good thing, he assumed. He reached over to brush his thumb against Fili's cheek. "Wine?"

"Yes," the blond consented. "And plenty of it. Neither of us will be driving home," he smiled. "Thorin, I—" he began. "The past month has been very..."

"...stressful, hasn't it?" Thorin's hand clasped over Fili's. "You don't need to explain it to me. With your father, and everything on the island, I understand."

"There's more," Fili's eyes met his. "I need to tell you something, Thorin. Something I'm not terribly proud of, but I have to tell you."

Thorin frowned. That was not what he was expecting. "Go on."

"When Kili and I were imprisoned by Thranduil—the first time," he began, "he let us go. But the condition of our release was that we kiss each other. I-I have no idea why he asked that of us. But we were desperate, and scared, and so, of course, we did it," he squeezed Thorin's hand. "We wanted to get back to the rest of you."

"You never said anything." Thorin racked his brains, his smile sliding off his face when the full implications of that hit home. That was why Kili hadn't come back that night, nor the day after that. "Why are you telling me this now?"

Because it meant something. If it had been just a kiss...no, Fili wouldn't look like that if it was just a kiss, forcefully given under dire circumstances. It was more than that. "Fili..." he whispered.

"When we were captured a second time, Thranduil chained us together," Fili went on, "it was as if he were forcing us to become dependent on each other. We did," he admitted. "I—I started to have feelings for him. I kissed him, again. _I_ instigated it, not him," he told Thorin, if only to spare Kili Thorin's wrath. 

"I was being petty, I suppose," the blond went on. "You've made it clear that I have to choose between my relationship with you, and my job. I don't want to," he said firmly. "I shouldn't have to. Would you make Dwalin do that?"

Thorin's heart grew cold. "You mean to say, because I told you that things had to change at work, you—" He choked. Not in a million years had he thought...had he expected..."I was going to offer you partnership, you know. For us to be close to equals. I was going to. Do you think I don't know how hard that decision was for you? You kissed him a _second_ time? I can't believe this. Tell me you're lying. Please, Fili, tell me you're lying."

Thorin didn't understand why Fili would bring up Dwalin, but then his mind couldn't get past Kili.

"I'm not lying," Fili told him. "I have never lied to you. The island brought Kili and I closer together. I cannot lie about that. I have come to care for him, very deeply. But I love _you,_ Thorin," Fili's eyes were brimming with tears. "If you don't know that, or don't believe it, then you mustn’t know me at all. I've dedicated my life to you, and to Durinco, for the past five years, because of that love."

Fili took a sip of water to wet his suddenly very dry throat, and continued. "When we started, you know, being intimate, I never in a million years thought it could possibly turn into more than two colleagues blowing off steam. But it was—it _is_ —so much more than that. And yet," he sniffed, "you always acted so ashamed of me. Of what people might _think._ You treated me so coldly in front of others at work; no one who knew me understood what I saw in you. But I knew a different Thorin. Then, on the island, you basically shattered any dream I ever had of being both your lover and your colleague. You told me I had to choose. But I said I needed time."

A waiter came into the room, but the look in Fili's eyes caused him to turn around and leave at once. 

"Tonight," Fili leaned forward, "I was going to ask you to reconsider me having to make that decision. I thought maybe our time on the island had helped you move past being so concerned about what others think. And, I guess it has." He picked his napkin off his lap and lay it gently over his plate. "I'm sorry, Thorin. I'm sorry I disappointed you."

Thorin's eyes were trained on the window and what was happening outside. Something squeezed his heart until only a small, crumpled thing remained. "I am not ashamed of you. Never. You never understood, did you, why I made those terms? It was never because of shame." Thorin spoke quieter. "It was because they'd tear us apart and you wouldn't have me or your job. You would lose it all. I've been looking for so many different ways. I thought about making you Dwalin's assistant, which would stop me being your superior. I wanted to give you a daughter company of your own. I have been looking for ways out ..." The next words were spoken incredulously. "I _gave you a ring._ "

Yet he couldn't be angry at Kili, though the betrayal stung.

"Do you love him?" Thorin needed to know. "Are you seeing him?"

"I..." but Fili didn't know quite what to say. 

Kili fascinated him, he infuriated him, he brightened his day. While Fili certainly wouldn't mind getting to know Kili better, he wasn't quite at the point where he could say the words. He had told Kili that he loved him, back in the jungle. But, _did_ he?

"I like him very much," he finally answered. "He's a very good friend. If we'd met at another time—when I wasn't involved and wanting to commit—it's not impossible to imagine things progressing. I respect him, Thorin, and I suppose a part of me _does_ love him, after what we've been through. But there's been nothing more than what I've told you about. Nothing more than kisses."

Listening to himself talk, Fili felt like opening the window and hurling himself down the mountain.

"When you gave me that ring, Thorin, I knew what it meant. But I thought you were convinced you might die the next day. Neither of us was thinking clearly. But I wanted it. I wanted it then, and I want it now," he reached for Thorin's hand. "I'd come here prepared to tell you that I was choosing my job, because I was so sure you were going to make me decide," he sniffed.

Thorin took in a deep breath and stared ahead of himself. There were tears in his eyes when he turned to Fili.  


"I can't take away that things would have to change before we could go public. I would have offered you the world once we did, Fili. I would have married you. But I can't trust you, not when these things happened to you and you didn't tell me. I'm sorry. I think I should go and I'd prefer it if you gave me the room for a few days." He got up and walked away with determination.  


"Thorin, wait! Please!" Fili rose and started after him, but the stiff set of Thorin's back and the pained hunch of his shoulders kept him from doing so. 

Fili hadn't brought his phone with him, and had to ask the maître d' to call him a separate taxi, ignoring the questioning looks in everyone's eyes.

_What had he done?_

He had just enough Euros in his pocket to pay for the cab when it dropped him back off at the villa. It was late and cicadas were chirping. 

There was no sleeping for him. Not then. He wandered out into the villa's courtyard, where recessed lighting lit up the fountain as it cascaded merrily. He sat down on a stone bench facing it. 

He couldn't stay here and face Thorin after his confessions. Kili would only remind him of his failures. Ori's happiness mocked him. He'd wait until morning, go up to the room he was sharing with Thorin and pack up. After that... well, he supposed he'd catch a flight home.

He wondered if there was any wine left in the kitchen.

There wasn't. But there was a bottle on the kitchen table, next to a glass, around which fingers were wrapped.

"Well, don't you look like you need this more than I," Bilbo said, and pushed a glass forward in invitation. "I thought you and Thorin were supposed to be out on a romantic date?"

"Mmph," Fili snorted sadly. "I won't take your wine, Mr. Baggins. You've earned it after that amazing meal you cooked us tonight."

Still he sat down across from the curly haired man, clearly upset. "It _was_ a very romantic date," he admitted. "The kind anyone would dream about. Then, I made the mistake of talking," he lamented. "More specifically, I made the mistake of telling the truth. _Tell the truth,_ that's what Bifur told me. Well, I've been telling the fucking truth, and it's ruining my life!"

Fili started reaching for the bottle, then reconsidered. "Is there anything stronger in the kitchen?" he wondered.

"We've um, we've got beer in the fridge and half a bottle of whiskey. None of the stuff, it seems, you need." Bilbo sighed. He gestured for Fili to sit. There was surprisingly no judgment in his eyes, as if he'd always known. "You may not want to hear this, but Bifur was right. Nothing good will come of lies, though honesty certainly isn't the easiest path. Trust me, I've been down that path. It's a bitch," he rolled his eyes at the last sentence. "Truth be told," Bilbo passed him a bottle of beer and confided in an attempt to cheer him up, "you always looked a bit too perfect to be true."

Fili let out what sounded like a soft laugh, but it morphed into a sob halfway through.

"Oh, Bilbo," he sniffed, taking the bottle of whiskey from the tray near the table, "perfect is one thing I am not."

He poured himself a shot and downed it, wincing at the taste, then another.

"I don't drink," he told the other man. "The hard stuff I mean. Not often anyway. May I ask you a question?" he asked, then proceeded to do so before getting permission. "Your fiancé ... where is he? Or should I say, why aren't you with him? None of us expected you to be here."

He downed another shot and chased it with a swig of beer, waiting for Bilbo's response.

"My fiancé is at home." Bilbo filled up his own glass with wine. "He's not here because I asked him not to come."

As he spoke, neither of them were aware of soft footsteps on the stairs, halting at the sound of words, and pausing where they could not be seen. Kili sat down, his heart hammering.

"The island...well, you know about our wedding. He cancelled it at the last day. I wasn't there, you see. I hadn't come home from a plane crash. He thought I was dead. When I finally made it back to him, he was beside himself, but he...he is still not fully over losing me once. It takes time. He's not my fiancé right now, he's simply my boyfriend, and I count myself lucky to still have him. To bring him here would only make him remember that horrible time. For me, you'll be surprised," he chuckled, "it is time with friends."

Bilbo dug around for his phone, browsed it and held up a picture of a dark-haired man with a powerful look about him. He reminded Fili of Thorin, though there was an openness to him that wasn't there in Thorin. "We met at work. He's a pilot. Or was, I should say. We both quit."

"He's very good looking," Fili told him. He wasn't sure what sort of man he envisioned Bilbo with, but this man surprised him. "I'm glad you two are still working on it, Bilbo. The island took too much from too many of us," he said, feeling the shots begin to warm his belly and cloud his head. "I'm glad you weren't one of them."

He reflexively reached for Bilbo's hand, then caught himself and pulled back. He had to stop doing that. His heart, which had grown to accommodate so much love, sat like a heavy stone in his chest.

"Thorin is lost to me," he told Bilbo. 

The last of Kili's sleep left him as his eyes widened and he sat up. His hands had begun to shake. He shouldn't be listening in on them, he knew that, but at the same time he needed answers.

Bilbo looked away at Fili's words. "I'm sorry. Are you sure? If you ask me, I see a man in love who does not know what to do with that when I look at him. For all his power, he looks rather powerless when it comes to the things that matter. If you don't mind me asking, what happened?"

"Kili Oakenshield happened, if you must know," Fili sighed. The liquor had, indeed, loosened his tongue. "Did you know I came to the island planning to quit my job after the retreat was over?"

He could tell Bilbo was a little befuddled. "Of course you don't know. Of course. I—Thorin was running me ragged in the weeks leading up to it. Changing his mind constantly about the little details. No one cared but him. We were going to Belize. But we kept having meeting after meeting and he kept me at the office and running errands very early and up very late. He treated me... well, he treated me like an employee—a bad employee—when in truth I was working my ass off for him. He had no time to see me, you know, romantically. By the time the plane left the ground, I was _done,_ you see," he took a long pull on the beer in front of him.

"But then... as we were flying... he got this look in his eye. You've seen it. The scared one. Kili gets the same terrified, _adorably_ helpless look in his eyes as well sometimes. I invited Thorin to the plane's bathroom and ..." he paused. "You know what? It doesn't matter. What matters is, I gave him another chance. And I suppose one was given me too."

He raised his head to look Bilbo in the eyes. "I hardly know Kili," he told him.

"So," Bilbo frowned, "you gave Thorin, who was a slave driver up until the trip, a second chance. In return he gave you one back. How does Kili fit into this picture? Because I don't get it. You were going to leave your job and him with it if you left?"

"I was angry; I wasn't sleeping. We only saw one another at work," Fili's words were beginning to slur, but he didn't notice. "He talked to me like I was an idiot, and that hurt. He was a different man when we were alone together—at his place, but at work, he made me feel," he sighed, "well, he made me feel like he hired me, and was fucking me, to somehow get even with my father."

"And then I kissed Ori," he frowned and buried his face in his hands. "I kissed my best friend... like it was nothing. But it wasn't nothing. Of course not. I wanted to. Just like I wanted to kiss Kili, even though Thranduil was making us. And he _knew_ , the fucker. Thranduil knew what he was doing."

Bilbo was beginning to become concerned as to where this was going. He pushed the glass of wine away. At least one of them two was going to hold it together, and he figured it wasn't going to be Fili. "You make it sound like Thorin spurned you and you used Ori and Kili as, if you don't mind me saying it, convenient distractions?"

"But it wasn't like that at all!" Fili protested, reaching for another beer and opening it. "Well, I mean, partially, yes...but I love them. I love _all_ of them!"

Fili's stomach gave a little lurch and he put his hand over it, taking a deep breath. "Ori and I agreed it was just, you know, for fun...getting out the stress of nearly dying, two best friends reminding each other how much we meant to each other. I think Ori's all right with all of this. I hope so," he said sadly.

"But Kili," he sniffed, "Thranduil, he...he made us dependent on one another for survival. He knew we had to take care of each other, or die. And we did. And it changed us. I know it changed me, Bilbo. I can't stop thinking about him, and I have a constant urge—a _need_ —to be around him. It's crazy, right? We really do hardly know one another. And yet..." he paused, taking a swig of beer.

"I look at Kili and I see Thorin. A younger Thorin, of course, back before he lost his dad and had to bear the brunt of running Durinco. Before he lost his sister in that car accident. He's...vibrant, and beautiful, and so, so _kind._ He's much better man than I can ever hope to be."

Kili understood what was being said. He clapped a hand over his mouth, though the tears came nonetheless. He reminded Fili of his uncle. That meant that when he told he loved him—had that been the truth, anyway?—he thought of Thorin, and would continue to do so. Was that all he'd ever be? A replacement for when Fili couldn't have the real thing? Kili shook his head. No. No, he refused—

"So who would you pick?" Bilbo broke in. "If none of this mattered, who would you be with? Because you're telling me this but I still have no idea what you want— _who_ it is you want. It seems to me that you want Thorin, but you don't."

"I've been with Thorin five years," Fili said sadly. "And, I know it seems to you—based on what you know of me—that I'm some kind of capricious slut who flits around like a bee from flower to flower. But I'm not, Bilbo. I'm not. Don't ask me to choose between them, because I cannot. I will leave tomorrow morning and go home because I _do_ love them both and I can't bear to hurt either of them!"

Bilbo snorted. "You're not capricious, Fili, you wouldn't be sitting here with a level of guilt of this magnitude, but you are stupid if you think they will not hurt because you choose neither of them. I'm going to assume here Ori's out of the picture, okay? Do you just need time to make a choice, or are you going to forget about them? Because either way, you need to tell them."

" _Forget about them?_ " Fili cocked his head to the side. "That will never happen. I will take the regret for my bad judgment to my grave. Thorin will never trust me again, and Kili will always suspect I'm using him as a substitute for Thorin."

Fili got up and dumped what was left of his second beer in the sink, then rinsed out the bottle. "I appreciate you taking the time to listen to me, Bilbo. Lord knows you don't need to hear this when you've got problems of your own. I hope you'll be wiser than I was and appreciate what you have, when you have it. I won't leave. Not without talking to them both," he assured Bilbo, "And I won't allow either of them to think that I don't love him...each, for what they are, and neither of whom deserves _me._ " 

He put a steadying hand on Bilbo's shoulder and looked him in the eye. "Enjoy your wine," he said softly, and started for the living room.

Kili stayed where he was, his mood thunderous and his hands gripping the step on which he was sitting. He didn't care. At some point, Fili was going to have to go past him in order to get to his room.

It was Bilbo who passed him with a look of surprise, ten minutes later. Kili was by that time so pissed that seeing Bilbo made up his mind. He waited until the other had left, then passed down the stairs and caught Fili alone in the spacious great room.

"You said you loved me." Kili looked at Fili in anger. "I love you. I don't think I've said that before, but I'm saying it now, while I still can. But I'm never going to be better than the competition, am I?"

Fili, sitting on the end of one of the leather couches closest to the rekindled fire, drew back at the onslaught. "Y-you heard all that?" he bit his lip. "Of course you did," he shook his head. "Isn't that just the icing on the cake? Kili, this _isn't_ a competition," he told the other man. "I'm not a prize to be won ...nor one worth winning. Especially not by someone like you. You deserve so much better."

"Shut _up_. I can decide for myself very much who is right for me, thank you. Yes, I heard. I could tell you I'm sorry, but I'm not. At least I know something now. I've spent nearly a month not knowing. Do you know how painful that is?" Kili's red-lined eyes bore into Fili's. He was starting to look unstable rather than upset. "I want you, but it's killing me to have you say you love me and then make me go through so much not-knowing. You should never have told me that. But you know what, Fili? I'm _tired_. So I'm going to make it easy on you, because if you can't make a decision, nothing is going to happen until either me or Thorin budges.

"In a few hours, I will pack my belongings and leave. You are going to patch things up with Thorin, because that's what _he_ deserves. You are going to make him happy, and you are going to love him a hell of a lot better than you're doing now. Three months from now, you and I are going to meet up and have a coffee, and we're going to learn to be friends."

Kili wobbled on his feet as he looked at Fili hard. Then he turned on his heels and walked quietly to his room with all the calm of a man who had given up everything, locking the door before his eyes finally spilled over.

Fili followed him upstairs. "Kili, let me in, please," he knocked softly on the door. "It's late. I don't want to wake the others. Please," he lay his forehead against the door. "Please!"

Behind the wooden barricade, Kili sat on the floor tear-stricken. He wouldn't make a sound. The knocks woke Dwalin though, who looked between the door and Kili several times. Kili shook his head and by that request, Dwalin kept silent too.

"Kee, I was wrong," Fili told him, "to have ever told you how I felt about you. I should have kept it to myself. It wasn't fair to you. And it's ruined any trust Thorin had in me."

He was silent for a few moments, in which Kili thought he might have left, but he hadn't. "You _haunt_ me," Fili admitted through the door. "I can't stop thinking about you. Your presence, it comforts me—and the way you make me feel, it also terrifies me. I-I know I'm not saying the right words. I don't think there are any right words, Kili..."

"For the love of God, will you keep it down out there?" Bifur’s voice came from next door.

"I'm sorry," Fili whispered. Then, he stopped talking.

He had no idea how Kili wanted to believe those words, how he needed something to keep him going. But he reprimanded himself quickly for the hope that blossomed. Fili said the right words, he did. They were beautiful. Fili had told Thorin about him. He described the very way Kili felt, himself.

But words weren't going to change a thing.

Three months from now, Kili told himself, they would talk. Quietly he crept into his own bed and tugged the blankets up. He had a rough couple of days ahead of him.

\- - - - -

In the morning, when Dwalin unlocked the door to head downstairs for some coffee, Fili—who had fallen asleep sitting up outside their door—tumbled into the room.

"Ow," he whispered, dazed, rubbing the spot where the back of his head had hit the floor. "Guess I should have gone to the couch." He extended a hand for Dwalin to help him up.

Dwalin sighed at the pitiful sight. "Come with me," he said. "He's still asleep and it's taken him long enough to get there, so you're not going to wake him up. Besides, you look like you could use a cup of coffee yourself." He waited for Fili to pick himself up and kept himself between Fili and the door at all times.

Ori and Legolas were the only ones already up beside them when Dwalin forced Fili downstairs. They looked like they were off in a world of their own, until Ori got one good look at Fili and excused himself at once. He took Fili by the arm and guided him outside, out of earshot from anyone else.

"What's wrong?" he immediately asked.

 _Sweet Ori,_ Fili smiled. Best friend anyone could ask for.

"We just... _I_ just...drank too much last night," he told Ori. "I'm paying for it now. Some coffee and grease and I'll be going back to bed. You two have fun today, all right?" he told the pair, squeezing Ori's arm.

Ori looked a little dubious, but seemed content with his answer, and he and Legolas left, arm in arm. Fili, meanwhile, slunk to the kitchen, planning to make good on that coffee.

All the while he was there, Dwalin kept an eye on him. They sat there without a word between them for a long time until Bilbo joined them downstairs, soon followed by Oin.

"Ah," Bilbo said carefully, "feeling a bit better?"

It was when Fili was about to answer that Kili walked down the stairs with his suitcase in tow. He passed the living room, thought hard, then figured that if he was going to leave like this, he was going to ruin some people's holiday. So he put the suitcase down and entered for a small breakfast, making sure to stay around Dwalin at all times.

Bilbo kept looking at the suitcase. Eventually Kili had no choice but to explain. "Something came up. I have to go. I'm sorry." He glanced at Dwalin. "I expect lots of pictures when you get back, okay?"

Kili didn't look Fili's way—at all. When the brunet got up to leave, however, Fili followed him out onto the patio.

"I wish," Fili said quietly, fiddling with the hem on his shirt, "that you'd change your mind—and stay."

Kili looked ahead of himself at the road. He had been strong all morning, he couldn't break down now. "And what would that change, Fee? If I change my mind, it'll be more of the same." There was only so much he could take.

"I know it doesn't seem like it, but I really cherish the time I have with you, Kili," the blond told him. "Even when we aren't chained together," he smiled.

This time the younger did turn around. He was barely holding it together. "As do I," he whispered. "More than I should. So much it hurts. If I don't leave now, that's going to get in the way of all the good things we can have. I hope next time we see each other, things will be different. You're a wonderful guy." He took a step back towards the taxi that was waiting. "I'll see you in three months, all right?"

"Is there anything I can say or do to make you stay?" Fili caught himself reaching for Kili, but stayed the action. 

"Only one thing, which you are going to say to someone else instead. Goodbye, Fili." Kili leaned forward to kiss Fili on the cheek.

Then he stepped back, paused with just a tiny last spark of hope that soon died, and turned around.

Fili didn't cry—at least, not until Kili's taxi made it the whole way down the villa's sweeping driveway and out onto the main road.

When the vehicle was only a yellow dot in the distance and vanished over the horizon, Fili realized Kili wasn't coming back.

He slipped back inside the villa. "He left," he told Dwalin, who looked at him questioningly. "D'you think maybe I could take a little nap, in your room? Thorin's not up yet and I...well, he doesn't want to see me."

Dwalin only sighed. "What did you do, lad, to get yourself into this mess? Of course you can sleep in the room. As long as I can have my own bed again tonight, you take your time, all right?" He patted Fili on the shoulder. The kid tried so hard to find happiness.

"I told the truth," Fili sighed, feeling as if he might fall down if he didn't lie down. "It seemed like a good idea at the time. Speaking of good ideas," he turned to look Dwalin in the eye, "now's your chance."

He turned to head upstairs.

After seeing Fili so beaten, Dwalin had little heart to comfort Thorin with the chance of more. Fili was supposed to be making Kili happy. Instead it seemed like he'd just lost him. "...He needs comfort," he tried to talk it right to himself, addressing Fili. "As do you. Get some good sleep, then talk to someone, please. All right?"

\- - - - -

In the taxi, Kili was staring at his phone, wondering if he hadn't just made the biggest mistake of his life. He groaned when he nearly called Fili and shut the thing down. The train ride back home was going to be impossible of he kept going back on his choices.

That was it then. Tears pooled in Kili's eyes. That was it.

He thought he would have gotten used to it by now.

That night he removed Fili from his list of contacts and wrote his letter of resignation. The ten minutes he took to press send were nerve racking. Then followed half an hour of panic, a night of regret and, upon returning to the bustle of London, the days to find a new job.

\- - - - -

Fili honored Thorin's request for space. That afternoon, after his nap, he went to the room they shared and packed up his suitcases. There wasn't an empty room left in the villa, but the couches around the place were comfortable enough. He could slide his suitcases behind one of them for safekeeping during the days.

Despite being in the same building, it was surprisingly easy to avoid everyone, if he wanted to. He got out his laptop and logged onto the internet, plotting a course to some cities he wanted to see. Florence was only 50 kilometers north. He decided to go up there for a few days, then maybe head north to Venice. 

He wasn't expected back in London for another 18 days. Why not see the sights? It had to be better than skulking around a place where he was reminded of Thorin and Kili at every turn.

It was late that night that Ori had had quite enough of it. He obnoxiously sat down on the couch he knew Fili to sleep on. Legolas was nowhere around him, which meant that Ori had plans to see Fili alone.

"So," he started out, "you probably don't want to talk about it, but I'm going to try anyway. Here's the elephant in the room. Dwalin has spent the day with Thorin, and you're sleeping on the couch."

Fili nodded. "Yes, it's true." He smiled tiredly. "Ori, your powers of observation are astoundingly accurate, as always."

But it was clear Ori wasn't in the mood for sarcasm. 

"Thorin asked for space," Fili explained, gesturing at the little nest he'd built around himself. "This is me giving him space."

Ori looked at the blanket on which he was sitting. He sighed sadly. "Oh, Fee. You're in deep, aren't you? Pick up your stuff, you're sleeping in our room. And after we moved you, you and I are coming back here and we're going to do whatever you like. Horror movies, ice cream from the tub, a late night stroll...you name it, okay?" 

He could only guess that this was why Kili had left them too. Kili was a nice guy who didn't deserve this, Ori thought, and he reminded him far too much of himself for comfort. But Fili was his best friend, who needed his help and his attention.

"Hey," Fili smiled, seemingly at peace in his blanket fort. "I am _not_ moving in with you and Legolas. You two are on the verge of something and you don't need me cockblocking you. I just put my laptop away. I made reservations. I'm leaving in the morning. I'm going to take one of the Vespas and head up to Florence for a few days. I've never really done anything on my own. It was either me or someone else who needed looking after. Now, it's just me. I can go to any museum I want...eat in whichever restaurant I wish. It'll be great," he tried to convince his friend—and himself.

"I love you, Ori," he leaned forward and hugged the redhead. "But, I think I need this too."

"It wouldn't be too much trouble," Ori shrugged. "I can do without him one night, you know. Florence...that's a long way away from here. Will you come back here before we leave?" He wasn't convinced all of Fili's heart was in there. It seemed more like running. Then again, maybe it was just what Fili needed, to have some time for himself. "Does anyone else know?"

"It's only fifty kilometers," Fili assured him. "A two hour drive at most." He leaned his head back against the couch cushions. "There's such beautiful art there, Ori. The Birth of Venus, Michelangelo's David. It'll be wonderful," he smiled briefly. "I haven't told anyone else. The only person I'd tell is...well, he doesn't want to talk to me right now anyway. We aren't flying home for another two weeks. I won't be gone that long, I promise, Ori. Please, don't worry about me...okay?"

Next to him, Ori leaned against the back of the couch. He pulled his feet up on the cushions and wrapped his arms around his knees. "I'll tell him after you leave, like everyone else. You'll keep me posted though, won't you? It feels weird, letting you go off on a moped in a foreign country. At least tell me you'll take a cab to the train station, get on a train there and rent a moped in Florence." He pulled Fili into a hug. "I love you, Fee. Don't forget that."

"Maybe you're right," Fili narrowed his eyes. I can take the train or a bus from Siena to Florence. I'm only going to take the one bag..." his breath hitched, and when Ori looked over, tears were streaming from Fili's blue eyes. "I don't really want to go alone," Fili confessed, "but I'm going to. I _need_ to, Ori." He slid sideways until his head rested on Ori's shoulder. "And I love you too."

"Oh, you shouldn't have said that." Ori saw an entrance and he took it. "I'm coming with you. You'll still get to do all those things, and by yourself if that's what you want, but I'll be sharing a room with you when you get back."

"Ori, _no_ ," Fili was insistent "I won't be responsible for ruining another relationship. I can't. I can't think of a single person who deserves happiness more than you do. And you love this Legolas guy, don't you?"

"Oh, please. Yes, I do, but if I can't leave him for a few days for a friend who needs my company more, then that's a bad thing." He nudged Fili. "Besides, they say that absence makes people miss people. He needs a bit of a push forward, that fellow." Ori grinned cheekily. Ulterior motives always worked.

"And you're just going to leave him here...with this lot?" Fili smiled. "Ori, I don't think that's a good idea. As much as I don't relish sending you back to that island, and I want to spend time with you before you go..."

He should have said _why not bring him along?_ but he didn't. Fili still hadn't warmed up to Legolas. That might take some time.

"...you should stay here with him. Honestly, Ori, you forget who you're talking to. It's _me._ And don't bother telling Thorin, okay? I'll leave him a note explaining, for what it's going to be worth."

Ori leaned his weight against Fili. "You're so difficult sometimes, did I tell you that? Because you are. I wouldn't mind coming along. In fact, it'd make me feel better, knowing how you are. You're in no state to be leaving this place alone. I worry about you." He looked up at the ceiling and smiled when Fili's face came into view. "You'll be fine, though. I know you, you'll make it work."

"You have a lot more faith in me than I do, then," Fili sank against the comforting weight of his best friend, and they stayed that way for some time.


	22. The Moment Was Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili leaves the villa on his own and goes to Florence. The company flies home. A lonely Fili receives a late-night text.

Fili decided to place the note in the book Thorin was in the middle of reading, poking out over the top of the pages so it couldn't be missed. He didn't have the courage to face him, and he was sure he would have even less of it after Thorin read the note. He wrote longhand, laboring over his words.

_Dear Thorin,_

_When you find this I'll probably be in Florence. You always told me that I needed to see the Uffizi Gallery. It will be my first stop, but it won't be the same as if I were seeing it with you._

_I imagine by now Kili has tendered his resignation. I wish you'd disregard that and accept mine instead. If anyone should have a bigger, more visible role at Durinco, it's him, not me. He resigned in anger (my fault). There are far too many issues between the two of you that need to be resolved. I don't want to be one of them anymore._

_It's not my first choice, of course, but there is always a position waiting for me at EduComp. Sadly, it won't come with the same amazing benefits as my job at Durinco._

_You are a wonderful man, Thorin, more wonderful than you believe you are, and I am so very sorry I hurt you, because I do love you. I have no doubts that you are going to come into the love you deserve very, very soon. I hope at some point you can forgive me._

_I'll be returning from Florence for the flight on the 18th. I just wanted to prepare you, as our seats were reserved next to one another. One thing I've learned from travelling with you is the safest place to be on a plane when it's going down—the loo._

_Love,_

_Fili_

\- - - - - 

Kili received a notice that his resignation was not accepted on the third day after his return in London. He looked down at the piece of paper for a good ten minutes before he sadly tore the page up and threw it away. He met with Thorin's lawyer on the way to a job interview a day later, and returned to the office after that interview with the notification that he was handing in his two week notice.

As Thorin wouldn't be back within two weeks, that suited him well. Kili left him his new address in a personal letter, offering to come visit some time. No hard feelings. Recent events, he explained, simply fortified a thought that had been playing in his head for a while now. And who would tell him he was lying? The office was no place for him.

Kili boarded the Holyhead ferry to Ireland on Sunday.

He sent another, friendlier message back to England two and a half month later.

\- - - - -

During his time in Florence, Fili never forgave himself for what he'd done to Thorin, to Kili...or to Ori. Instead, his actions continued to haunt him.

As he looked at The Birth of Venus, he could imagine Thorin next to him, talking about Botticelli's use of light and the symbolism, his warm hand on Fili's back all the while. As he ate at Enotecha Pitti Gola e Cantina, overlooking the Pitti Palace, he could hear Ori debating their wine and dessert choices, knowing full well they would end up ordering some sort of sampler. When he visited the Pistoia Zoo, taking a bus north of the city for a day, his heart ached for Kili, who would have delighted in feeding the giraffes with him.

He didn't die from a broken heart, despite feeling that he should and could. Florence was a hub of activity and when he reached the zenith of his pain, there was always something there to distract him, if only a little. He stayed away, texting Ori regularly so he wouldn't worry about him, and finally returned to the villa in Siena the morning of the flight back.

The first person he ran into when he opened the front door of the villa, suitcase in tow, was Thorin, holding a cup of coffee.

"Fili." Thorin wore the look of a man caught by surprise. He stood there for a long time until from behind him, Dwalin's voice roused him.

"Thorin? What's th—" His eyes locked with Fili's. "Ah. I'll leave you to it."

Thorin waited until he was gone to put his suitcase against the wall and his hands in his pockets. "Walk with me," he said with kindness in his voice. "We should talk."

But Fili had no idea what to say. What _could_ he say? Nervous, he decided he'd let Thorin steer the conversation and followed his former lover out into the garden.

The older man, however, took his time. He steered clear of any place where they could be interrupted. Since they were supposed to check out in fifty minutes, few places qualified for peace in the villa. Eventually Thorin decided on a walk down the lane.

"I've been thinking about us," he started. "We've come a long way together, have we not? From a boss and his well-qualified assistant to lovers, to now this. We survived a plane crash. Unfortunately, _we_ didn't survive it." He took a deep breath, his eyes on the road ahead. "We've had wonderful times together. It took us this long to realize what we should have figured out a long time ago." 

Thorin breathed out. It took him a short while to gather himself and say what he said next. "I love you with all my heart Fili, but we're poorly compatible, don't you think? I kept pushing you at work, while no-one who loves someone should push him like that. You want the world to see we're together. Me, I prefer a degree of privacy. That wouldn't change if you stopped being my assistant. I still wouldn't kiss you in public. That's not the man I am. It's not a weakness that I can or even want get rid of; it's just how I live my life. Likewise do you deserve someone who loves you for who you are, not someone who loves all that you can become."

Thorin looked old, then. Tired, but peaceful at the same time. "I love you, but I'll always expect more of you. I have a feeling you bear similar thoughts. How about we admit what is there and what is not, at long last?"

Fili wanted desperately to protest, as a flood of memories assailed him of their time together. But he had to admit that Thorin was right. Fili _did_ want to walk down the street holding hands with the man he loved. He wanted to kiss at the top of the Eiffel tower. He was far from being an exhibitionist, but he wanted that affirmation. And he wanted to give it in return.

"I would have married you, you know," is what came out of his mouth, instead. "I do love you as you are, but I also admit we both would have always been trying to change each other, in big and small ways," he smiled sadly. "I won't be able to come back to work for you, Thorin. I know you probably need a good assistant more than anything right now...but I don't think I am that person. And being around you every day would be torture for us both, because it would be so easy to—well, to fall back into what was comfortable for us. I will miss it. Miss us," he admitted.

"I'll be okay," he added, and he wasn't sure if he was saying that for Thorin or for his own comfort. "Will you be?"

Thorin considered that, and nodded. "Eventually. And when we are, I would like it if we could become friends, or joined in business. You always had the smartest ideas. It's time you did something with that." He paused, then pulled Fili into a hug. "I will never regret it. We did have good times."

"Me either, Thorin," Fili's voice was husky with emotion. "And we will never, ever become rivals. I promise you that."

He wanted to say and do so much more, but he was afraid if he started, he'd embarrass both Thorin and himself. As hard as it was to walk away, Fili did it.

They were civil, companionable, on the flight home. When the plane reached cruising altitude, Fili entertained the idea of asking Thorin if maybe—just maybe—he'd like to go with him to the plane's restroom. But he didn't ask, and the moment was lost.

\- - - - - 

Ori continued to check up on Fili on the flight. He didn't need to talk to get across that whenever Fili wanted, he could join Legolas and himself on the empty seat to their left. They had gotten considerably more comfortable around each other while Fili had been gone, and Ori had been waiting for the time to catch up.

After his third attempt, he gave up and disappeared out of view for some twenty minutes.

When they touched down, Kili wasn't there waiting at the gate. No messages were answered. Fili did get an anonymous card with a 'Greetings from Ireland', not long after, but when he tried to contact him, nobody answered.

\- - - - - 

Lena Disson knew something was wrong the moment Fili set foot inside the door of their home. Clearly the trip hadn't gone quite as he'd hoped. But aside from his warm greeting, he offered little by way of explanation. He had brought her some beautiful jewelry, a hand woven scarf, and a beautiful antique paint box.

She noticed he hadn't bought himself any souvenirs.

When he told her, a few days later, laden down with a box of his belongings from his office, that he was no longer working for Durinco, she wasn't surprised.

It was almost as if he had left for vacation again when he spent a few days in the company of his friend, Ori, before the sweet, smart boy Lena had always adored left to go back to the island where they had all nearly died. After Ori left, Fili grew withdrawn and kept to himself, where he used to spend his evenings with her in the family room.

"I'm all right, Mum" he assured her. "I'm just...I'm lonely. I miss Ori...and my job."

 _And Thorin,_ she supplied. It went without saying.

Travel brochures began to arrive by the dozen on their doorstep.

"I'm thinking of taking a trip—a longer one, this time," Fili explained to his mother a few days later. "Asia, India, the States again, of course. Would you come with me?"

And she would love to, of course she would. But something told her that she would only slow her son down while he was looking for, well, whatever it was he was looking for.

The message was small when it came—the sender familiar on his phone. Two months and twenty-three days later, at midnight exactly but just a few seconds off to rule out the message having been programmed beforehand. That meant that on the other side, someone had just pressed send.

"Pick me up at Victoria? Next Sunday, 10 p.m.. Let me know. — Kili."

Kili's hands were shaking when he read the message over again. Was it too formal? Too casual? And why was he waiting for a reply when by all means Fili should be asleep and not replying until morning?

His response came exactly one minute and twenty-one seconds later.

"10 p.m. is a bit late for coffee, isn't it? :) "

"Beer?" Kili flashed back with lightning speed.

"Only if there's plenty of it."

Kili fell back and grinned. He was embarrassed by his excitement, but he couldn't lie—he was looking forward to seeing Fili again.

"Deal. See you then."

Fili's stomach felt as if he were riding a roller coaster. He knew, just knew, that Kili was smiling on the other end of the phone. Picturing it made Fili smile too. "I'm looking forward to it," he sent back. 

And he was.

He rolled over, hugging his pillow, remembering the island and all he had shared with Kili. 

That night, for the first time since they'd come home, he didn't dream of tarantulas.

\- - - - -

Kili was too busy and too nervous at the same time to send Fili more messages. What was he supposed to say anyway, without making himself vulnerable? Had Kili gotten over Fili? Not really. The only thing he had managed in those three months was coming to grips with Fili and Thorin as being together, and as such the pointlessness of his own affection.

He spent the week working late and arranging things for the weekend when there was time. There was surprisingly little of that, for it was Saturday in the blink of an eye.

And then, Sunday morning.

The ferry took its sweet time, that late afternoon.

Fili pulled his dark blue coupe into a parking space at the station. He was thirty minutes early. Of course. As he headed inside to try to find Kili, he wondered what the brunet had been up to for the past three months. The time had probably gone by quickly for Kili. He was that kind of guy; he brought happiness with him everywhere he went, as if he kept it in his pocket.

Fili wouldn't tell him how painful the past few months had been for him. Kili didn't need to hear Fili's problems. He had dressed casually—jeans and a football jersey—and tied his long hair back at the nape of his neck with an elastic band. Thankfully, the Sunday night crowd was sparse. He sat down on a bench along the wall, eyes scanning the area, fingers drumming nervously.

The arrivals board indicated that the coach from Dublin, Ireland, would be arriving on time. But Kili had never been specific to Fili about where in Ireland he had moved to, so the closer he got to the coach station, the more he worried he became about whether he should have told.

"Nearly there," Kili typed in a message when he couldn't stand the tension.

Of course, he realized then, that implied he expected that Fili would actually be waiting for him, and not just be there at the right time. He cursed himself just as the coach pulled into a large garage and stopped.

Kili waited until everyone else had left the coach before getting up himself. He bit his lip to distract himself when he got out.

But then there was Fili, standing there scanning the crowd, and Kili could only grin.

It was a completely unconscious response, but when Fili saw Kili, his face, which had been brooding and troubled, opened up and smiled like a spear of sunshine coming through the clouds after a rainstorm. He approached him at a fast walk. It certainly wasn't a run. He definitely wasn't running. But he was breathless when he stopped in front of Kili.

"You made it," Fili announced the obvious. "Kili, you came."

Kili laughed. "I came? _You_ came." He couldn't help it, he stepped into Fili's personal space and pulled him into a hug. "I promised, didn't I?" Three months from the day he left. Kili pulled away to look at him. Distinctly Fili. "Oh, I missed you. Hold on, my suitcase is still—" and he pointed to the luggage being unloaded from the coach, untangling from Fili to retrieve it.

"It's not a bad timing for you, is it?" Kili called over his shoulder.

He was back three minutes later with a healthy glow and some crumpled directions on a piece of paper in his hand. "Right, well, my hotel should be close. After that, beer."

He couldn't stop looking at Fili. Oh, Kili thought to himself, he was making a fool of himself, but that didn't make him stop.

"Promised me?" Fili chucked. " _Threatened_ me is more like it." He picked up Kili's bag and began carrying it in the direction of his car. "You don't need to get a room, Kili. The house I share with my mother has two spare bedrooms, if you want to stay over. Neither of us is a terrific cook...but we get by. How about..." he suggested with a smile, once they'd gotten outside, "we skip directly to beer?" he pointed to a pub across the street from the station. He was, surprisingly, no longer nervous.

"It's really not much trouble." Kili pointed to the sign of a hotel that was less than two minutes by foot from where they were. "I mean, I don't know your mum. I don't want to impede." He stretched his legs. After hours being cramped on that coach, the return of feeling in his limbs was wonderful. "How about we get some food first? I'm good with pizza, or chips, or anything. Haven't eaten since lunch." Kili had the decency to look awkwardly ashamed of that. "Sorry."

He was decidedly not going to mention how the anticipation of this meeting had taken over his entire week.

Fili's jerked his head in the direction of the pub. "Will this work?" he asked his visitor, putting Kili’s suitcase into his trunk. "They have a bit of everything here. You know," he told Kili as he was locking the car, "my mother would be highly offended if I didn't ask you over for a visit, at the very least."

"How about we grab a meal, I check in, and we'll see where life takes us from there on?" The younger smiled like he had just shared the answer to everything to Fili. "I can't get a refund now anyway. Might as well take it, right?"

It was funny how Kili had spent weeks anticipating this moment and, now that it was here, it was as if it happened a long time ago. Fili and he weren't awkward at all. They had plenty to catch up on. Kili couldn't help but wonder whether that was Thorin's influence, but he quickly stopped that line of thought. He let Fili lead him into the pub and sighed as he breathed in the familiarity, as soon as he was seated. "I never thought I'd come to miss this city, you know."

"I missed people, but not the city itself," Fili pondered. "To be honest, I've been giving serious consideration to relocating," he ordered beer and a water from the waiter who came to see them. "Somewhere...else."

Kili grinned knowingly. "I know that look. Somewhere Ori works?" He ordered a beer from the waitress and the menu, knowing full well it was going to be pub food and not a fancy dinner—he liked that. "Dublin is nice too. I got a job at a research field lab there."

"The island?!" Fili sputtered. "Are you kidding me, Kili? You are, right? No, wherever I end up, it will most assuredly _not_ be tropical. I really don’t need to see another palm tree as long as I live," he added. "So, Dublin...why Dublin? And what are you researching? I never thought you'd end up in some stuffy lab, Kili."

"That's a pity," Kili pointed out, "they say Hawaii is gorgeous. I'm definitely going there once I'm comfortable around an airplane again." He pulled out a cigarette and asked with a look if Fili didn't mind. "Sorry, nasty habit. I quit a long time ago but I picked it up after I got back. But Dublin, Dublin...well, it's actually not a stuffy lab. I'm an analyst now, but I spend most of my time outdoors, and most of the time outside of Dublin as well. It's research on the effects of urbanization on wildlife, which means I'll be off to New York in a few months, and after that, we plan on heading into the local woods and to the local farms there."

Kili looked Fili over. He couldn't help it, he just had to smile. "It's great seeing you again, it really is. Here we are, back in civilization. You're less tanned than you were. You've probably never seen me with clothes that weren't torn, have you? So, where are you planning on relocating to?"

Fili sat, chin propped up on his hand, and smiled at Kili as if he were some fascinating new species of animal.

"I think you'll like New York," Fili told him. "I mean, it's crazy with people. But you love people-watching just as much as you like observing animals, I'd wager. You'll find a lot of interesting specimens there. Isn't it strange?" Fili reached for his water and took a sip, "I wasn't at all nervous flying to Italy and back. I guess I figured the odds of being in a second plane crash were astronomical. I'm pretty sure they are." 

"I just can't bring myself to board one yet," Kili explained himself. He prodded Fili's knee under the table with his foot. "So what are your plans? Are you intentionally avoiding telling me, or do you just love to make me burn with curiosity?"

"I haven't worked since Italy...since the crash," Fili admitted. Saying it out loud like that, he felt, sounded rather pathetic. "I resigned from Durinco. My father offered me a position at EduComp, but I just haven't felt like working. That sounds really crazy, right?" he fiddled with a ramekin full of sugar packets. "I've been considering a trip. A long one, to places I've always wanted to go," he informed Kili. "My mum became rather independent in my absence. She's encouraging me to go. There's nothing, really, holding me back from going."

Kili looked at him. His fingers fidgeted around his glass. He would have thought nothing of Fili's need to spread his wings, if not for that last sentence. Kili had given them all the space he could need; Kili couldn't picture his uncle _not_ wanting to hold Fili close. That thought visibly clouded his eyes and his good mood. "Nobody, either? I mean, not your mother, of course."

Fili shook his head, knowing exactly what Kili wanted to know about.

"Thorin and I called it quits the day we left Tuscany, Kili. I have seen him once since then—the Saturday after we came home, when I went into the office to get my personal belongings. I… I think he's well."

Opposite him, Kili sat still for a long time. His hands stilled where he gripped his glass, and his lips parted. He didn't understand. In the end he whispered, confused, "Why? I stepped aside for him. Well," he looked down and smiled sadly, "I guess that's reason enough to go away for a long time. I mean, there's a reason I'm not still in London. I understand. I planned on seeing him tomorrow, actually, to catch up on things. I had hoped you wanted to come with me, but I can understand now if you don't want to."

"I knew it was what he wanted when you left," Fili confided. "But you were so upset. I just didn't want to add one more thing to the list of things about me that confused and disappointed you. I... I'm not sure I should go with you to see him. I'm don’t think I'm ready to act casual about it all. It was never casual to me. I loved your uncle, Kili, hard as that is for you to fathom. I don't trust myself not to be an idiot, is what I'm saying," he smiled ruefully.

"I think," he perused the menu... "A cheeseburger. You?"

Kili accepted that. For a moment, he thought he was free to hope—he felt dreadfully guilty about Fili's loss, but he couldn't help it—before Fili's words stifled that. After all, if Fili had known and wanted him in Tuscany then, he would have told Kili. That meant there was no chance. The thought was sobering. Kili felt lighter though, because at last it was out there. "Yeah," he returned to his initial plans of friendship and smiled warmly at Fili. "Cheeseburger sounds good. With extra bacon if we can. I've been picking up extra weight since we got back, but for tonight, that's fine. So what countries are you thinking of? If you say Vietnam and you're careless enough to let me in on your location, just a heads-up, I'm going to visit you."

"Southeast Asia can be a bit dangerous," Fili bit his lip. "I was, however, going to see Tokyo and Beijing. Depending on the climate, I was hoping to see parts of Russia and India as well. That day we went to the bakery—that day in the rain—when I took your picture as the sun was streaming down on you like a spotlight...something happened. I got inspired, I guess. I bought a camera in Florence and just started snapping pictures. Places, people, life. I submitted some to the Florence Board of Tourism and they paid me for them. I think I could come to enjoy being a photographer," he admitted, fishing out his cell phone and showing Kili the photo he had taken of him that day in the rain.

Kili looked happy, comfortable, at peace with the world and the weather. It was a perfect shot on a less-than-perfect day.

Kili took his phone and smiled at the memory. "I'm glad we went out that day. Sorry about my grumpiness. I think this was one of my favorite moments in Florence." He took a sip and grinned. "So instead of me, you got the jitterbug, eh? Well, I'm glad."

Fili just huffed and shrugged, smiling sadly at him.

Kili had to hold himself back from going over the moment in the shop when Fili had asked him to kiss him. He remembered that vividly too. The men who’d harassed them in the cafe were already becoming a distant memory, but not so that kiss.

Food turned out to be a pleasant distraction. They ate in peace and shared small things that had happened. It was like meeting up with old friends; they just kept talking and talking, and when they didn't, the silence was pleasant.

Halfway through, Kili sat up. "Hold on. You mentioned your dad's company. Didn't you hate your dad?"

Fili drew in a deep breath. "Our time on the island, listening to you talk about losing your parents, it made me feel the need to work things through with him. He and I needed to talk, that much was clear. We're far from close yet. But I think we both understand one another a bit better now. The deal with Mirkwood Inc's resale to Thranduil and his family is nearly complete. He's not a total loss."

Fili was also thinking about that day in the café in Siena. The kiss, to him, had seemed a perfectly natural extension of what they had already shared. He'd never wanted to hurt Kili. He owed him so much.

"You're giving the Mirkwood group back to him?" Kili pulled a face. "I still don't like him. Scheming son of a—well, you get the point. Legolas seems like a good guy though. Such a pity to have a father like that. Does Thranduil at least approve of Ori?"  


" _Giving_ it back?" Fili smiled. "Heh, no. This is my father we're talking about. But I did convince him to sell it back for what he initially purchased it for. Dad's so relieved I'm not dead...I hardly had to convince him. And Thranduil's been quite good to Ori," Fili told him. "I think he made a very good impression, asking to stay behind like that. I'm really quite proud of him, too." Fili looked down sadly at his hands. "He left six weeks ago."

“You miss him." From across the table, Kili reached for Fili's hand. He stopped halfway there and fumbled back apologetically. "You're not going to see him a lot any more, are you? What with him being on the other side of the globe. I’d hoped he was joking when he said that, but it seems he really likes it there. Who would have thought? He can go to the lagoon every night and have the world's most beautiful swimming pool all to himself, or fall asleep in a comfortable hammock." Kili chuckled. "Oh, saying it like that makes me want to go back too. Speaking of which, you should come to Dublin some time. I'll clean up my place to make room for you to stay. It'll be nice having you there."

"It's true. I miss him so much it hurts. At least I'm not at Durinco. I'm sure I'd miss him more if I were—having to walk by his office and he wouldn't be there," Fili sighed sadly. "I'm really happy for him. The island gave him a real boost of self-confidence." He raised his eyes to Kili's. "You'd want me to visit you?"

"Which he sorely needed," Kili supplied. "Ori's a great guy, he deserves that. Though if I'll be honest with you, I always suspected he had a thing for Dwalin." He smiled back and continued idly rolling the bottom of his now empty glass over the table. "Of course I want you to visit me. I'll visit you too, when work or your travels don't get in the way."

"Who _doesn't_ have a thing for Dwalin?" Fili smiled. "You know," he ran a finger along the edge of the table. "I could definitely make Dublin a stop on my world tour. First stop, even."

"Not anymore, I don't." Kili took a big bite from his burger, his lips greasy when he put it away. "But I can absolutely see where he'd be coming from." No point denying something Fili and Ori had witnessed between Dwalin and him themselves. He was starting to get full and embarrassingly sleepy. Perhaps it was the food, combined with the anticipation that had kept him up for days. Kili had expected he was going to stay awake on adrenaline, but he felt mostly mellow in Fili's company. "Could you make Dublin the last stop, too?"

"Yeah. Or," Fili's eyes lit up playfully, "you could quit your job and just come on the trip with me."


	23. Improving Upon the Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili answers Fili's question, and meets Fili's mother.
> 
> (Yes, this is the chapter you Kili/Fili ♥ shippers have been waiting for!)

_Travel the world with Fili?_

Kili held his breath. "Fee..." That wasn't a small thing he was asking, and Kili had no idea whether Fili was serious about it.

"Would you want to?" Fili's burger sat as yet untouched. "Two can travel nearly as cheaply as one, most places. I have plenty of money saved up, and with that settlement we all got from the airline, we can afford it." He hadn't gone into this restaurant, or into this conversation, planning to ask Kili to come on a trip with him, but once they had started talking about it, it seemed as natural as breathing. 

"We could even go to Hawaii," he added. "They say there's a beach there with _black sand._ "

Kili groaned. "I know." 

He didn't know about all of this, he just didn't. Because if they were going to do something that big, Kili at least had to come clean about still wanting him, which was going to make just being friends with him—like Kili so badly wanted—difficult. At the same time, Fili's plans lured him in with little other resistance than his conscience. "I want to see it with my own eyes one day. It's not fair of you to bring that up. Fee, we have...history. I'd love to go with you, but I'm going to be realistic here, I need to know whether you and I are not going to screw things up thousands of miles from home, especially when we still have months to go." He winced. "That just made me sound like I'm making things difficult on purpose. The truth is, it sounds too good to be true."

"I'm not drunk or lying to you," Fili frowned. "I just asked you to go on a trip with me. I'm not trying to imply anything or make anything happen. I just...well, I had planned to go alone, it's true. But having you along would certainly be much, much better. Is it...are you—" he paused. "Is there someone in your life? A boyfriend?"

Kili shook his head like a stubborn kid. A smile broke out on those pursed lips, as he allowed the idea of travel to take root and thought of what it would be like. "Well, there's no way you're not taking me to see that black-sand beach if you persist on having me along. And Vietnam. Hey, I know you said no, but I can try, right? I always wanted to just rent a bike and go into the country there, or pray, or take a river trip."

Fili sat back in the booth and just smiled at him fondly for considering it. "I'm sure your boss would be disappointed," Fili admitted. "I know, this seems really sudden, doesn't it? We should have our heads examined." He picked up his cheeseburger at last and took a bite. "You didn't answer my question," he reminded him around the mouthful.

Kili had to be insane to be considering it this seriously. Already he pictured himself on a beach, falling asleep with the stars above him, the safety of a bamboo house in the background, and someone to watch over him. More specifically, _Fili_. "Which one?"

Getting the hotel room as backup seemed pointless now.

Fili took a deep breath. _The most important one._ "Is there someone waiting for you in Ireland?"

"Ah, that one." Kili smiled around his spoon. "Nobody. Also, that means nobody's going to be upset if I take you up on that offer to sleep at your house tonight."

Fili's eyes grew wide. "I'm...surprised. I thought—you know—someone like _you_ would have found someone pretty quickly."

Kili snorted sarcastically. "I don't think anyone ever told you about my disastrous love life, did they?" A small crack of insecurity shot through his cheerful charade. It wasn't as if people generally wanted more from him than a one night stand or a short fling. He decided to backfire. "You? Did you find someone new?"

Fili shook his head almost imperceptibly. "I haven't cared to look." His hands twisted nervously in his lap. "Kili...I..."

Kili could sense where this was going. He shushed Fili with a finger against his lips. "Friends, remember? If you can improve upon the silence, then I'll welcome it, but let's not make such a mess like last time. You don't have to say anything."

He wanted the words so much, if they were the ones he hoped for. But what if they were not? What if they were just an apology for times past? What if Fili wanted to talk about how much he missed Thorin?

"But I need to say this, Kili," Fili persisted. "I do, so bear with me. On the island, everything was life or death. We literally had no idea if we'd live to see another day—especially towards the end of our time there. I know that I behaved in ways I'm not proud of. I did and said things I might not have done if we, say, were just hanging out in a restaurant," he smiled. "We never had a chance to _be_ normal. We were injured, facing our fears, caged up, living on adrenaline...chained together," he chuckled at the latter. "I would just like to see what happens if we actually got to know one another, like normal people do. Not living like we could die tomorrow, not forced together by a length of chain...but just, you know, being together."

"...Oh." In the smallest voice, Kili added, "That counts as improving upon the silence." In the dim light, the pink on his cheeks and nose was barely visible. "Actually, that sounds really nice." He swallowed down the bite in his mouth and asked the passing waitress for a Coke. "I think maybe you should start by showing me your house. Is that okay? I have no idea in what kind of place you live. Is your mum still awake, this time of day?"

"She's an artist," Fili smiled. "I never know what I'm going to find when I get home at night. She’s a bit of a night owl, yes. She probably is awake. But, regardless, I'd like to show you where we live. Mum will love you. If you sit still long enough, she'll try to paint you."

"I'm told I only sit still when I sleep. If she's fast about it, she might catch me tonight." Kili was exhausted. He tapped the glass of Coke placed before him. "I'm going to get myself this boost of energy and then we're off, yes? You always smile when you talk about her," he noticed with a dreamy expression. "This is nice. Tonight, I mean. I was nervous about seeing you again. Completely unnecessary, as it turns out. My colleagues didn't understand the fuss. Anyway, drink up, or I'll beat you to it."

"I guess I'm just really fond of her," Fili reasoned. "She's pretty amazing. You'll see. She's totally encouraging me to make this trip, too. Apparently, she found a new sort of independence while I was on the island. It's so funny. She grew independent...and I grew dependent."

 _....on you._ The unspoken words hung above the table like a cartoon thought bubble.

Kili felt warm inside. He had wanted to meet with Fili to try and save what could be salvaged from their friendship, which trouble between them had disturbed early on. He loved spending time with this man for the simple fact that it was _easy_. Fili was one of the few people who didn't expect things from him because of his heritage or otherwise—who didn't assume anything. As such, he felt comfortable even when they didn't speak. That friendship was worth a lot to him, but he had to admit that the feelings that screwed it up were still there. He had only come to accept that it was going to be Thorin that Fili chose.

To say his life was turned upside down today was an understatement. "I don't think taking a trip around the world with me is going to make you more independent," he warned. "If anything, it'll make me more dependent. But I think I'd really like that. And to meet your mum, of course."

Fili chuckled. "Kili, one thing I came to realize in the past three months is that I didn't mind so much...being dependent on you."

He'd decided he'd had enough of the food and pushed his plate away. "I know this is sudden, and probably very frightening. Take as long as you like to decide. I haven't made any plans yet."

What he didn't tell Kili was that he'd been waiting, for today. To see if Kili actually came. Now he could easily envision them poring over brochures and websites together, planning together. He liked the image.

Kili finished his drink and slid his own empty plate under his friend's. "You're crazy, wanting to get out there with me. You remember how I get when I'm away from civilization, don't you? Aside from making you eat lizard again." He was getting pleasantly buzzed on lack of sleep and the temperature of the pub—perhaps the sugar was doing him parts. To be sure, Fili's presence and words pushed that further. "We're getting proper lodgings this time, all right? Please, let's go to Southeast Asia."

"I'll show you my sizeable collection of travel brochures and books in the morning, after you've slept," Fili told him by way of agreement. "We can research Vietnam online, all right? For now, let's get you home. You look ready to drop," Fili folded a twenty-euro note on the table to pay for their meal. "My place, then?"

"Lead the way."

Fili led them back out to his car a few minutes later. Kili glanced at the hotel in which he was supposed to stay as they passed it. He mostly enjoyed the ride to Fili's place, as it brought back memories. He had been raised in a Devon town until his parents passed away. That event forced him into the household of his London-based uncle, and he had studied here as well. For a city as big as this, it had strangely gotten a place in his heart. Kili felt his eyes close.

When the car stopped and a gentle hand nudged him, he jolted awake. Kili blinked. "We're there? I—sorry, I didn't mean to."

"You weren't asleep long," Fili smiled gently. "You looked like you could use it, so I didn't disturb you. This is it," he gestured out the window at a brownstone town house. Warm golden light came from the downstairs windows. "Mom lives downstairs, I live up. The light in her studio's on, so I'd wager she's still awake."

Fili popped the trunk and got out Kili's suitcase. "Don't worry, I know you're tired. We'll keep it short."

Kili stifled a yawn as if in reply. "We'll see." He tried to get some energy back into his system as he looked at the house. It didn't look like the type of house he had expected Fili to live in but, now that he thought about it, a pricey top floor city apartment wasn't practical for someone in a wheelchair either.

Kili fidgeted. "Did you introduce her to Thorin?" What if she started drawing comparisons between them? People loved to do that around them, as if he wasn't his nephew but his actual son. _You look so much like him_ had only been funny the first few times.

Fili chuckled, "Oh yes, they've met. When I first joined Durinco, I had this wild idea of setting my mother up with Thorin. At the first company formal dinner, I brought her as my guest. They got along very well. That very night, Thorin made his first move...on _me._ Go figure," he smiled. "I was pretty clueless early on."

The town house didn't have stairs to the front door, but a sweeping ramp from the driveway. "Mum?" Fili called softly, entering the foyer. "I'm back! I brought a friend with me."

"In the studio!" she called. "Join me!"

To the left opened a wide-set doorway into a very roomy artist's studio. Amidst the easels and shelves of materials, Lena Disson put the finishing touches on the painting in front of her and lay her brush aside. She turned her wheelchair around with years of practiced agility and smiled up at them. She wore a dark blue artist's smock over her clothing and the tiniest bit of vermilion paint smeared her chin.

"You _must_ be an Oakenshield," she observed, and held out her hand to Kili. "I'm Lena Disson. Please call me Lena." Her eyes were the same sapphire blue as Fili's. Her long thick hair, also the color of dark honey, was held back from her face by a scrunchie.

"You know my secret. I am." Kili expected the familiar reference to their shared look, and got none. The studio was well-lit from all sides. A hand holding a brush had no chance to cast a hash shadow and disrupt the flow. She had to have been doing this for a long time. "It's very nice to meet you. Fili mentioned you several times on the island. You seem to have done very well, considering his worries when he spoke to me." Kili sat down on the worn sofa. It looked so comfortable that it was tempting to fall asleep on it. He held himself in check.

She was beautiful. Lena Disson was confined to a wheelchair and yet Kili hardly noticed it. She had the kind of look that turned men's heads when she entered a room. Fili had inherited that from her, and improved on it. "Fee, please tell me you've taken a picture of this room already. It's magical. Is it okay if I put my suitcase here?" It looked out of place and in the way.

"His name is Kili," Fili told his mother. "He's quite tired from his travels, or I'm sure he would have remembered to tell you that. Kili is Thorin's nephew, Mum. The one I was telling you about."

"Ah," was all she said, and smiled knowingly. "Well, it _is_ quite late," she glanced at the clock on the wall, which read 12:30 in the morning. "I lose track of time when I get to painting. You'll stay here, I hope." It wasn't a question but a request. "Fili has a spare bedroom and an office with a sofa bed upstairs."

Fili took a moment to move Kili's suitcase to the hallway and Lena turned to Kili. "It's nice to see him smile again. Clearly, he's happy to be around you."

"Mother!' Fili groaned, catching her words upon his return.

Kili chuckled. "I'm happy to be around him again too." He smiled at her before exchanging one with Fili. "We saw each other around at Durinco, but I'd like to think I really met him on the island." Embarrassing mums...how he missed his own right now. Kili looked over his shoulder. "It has really been a long day. Is it okay if I get some sleep now and we talk all we want tomorrow? I mean, unless you've got plans."

"My home is yours," Lena told him. "And I look forward to hearing about what happened to you during your time on the island. Fili's very hush-hush about it," she told him.

"I just don't want to upset you, Mum," Fili told her, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "I'll put him in the guest bedroom, all right?"

She winked, but the gesture was lost on Kili, who was fading fast. "Wherever he's most comfortable."

"C'mon," Fili patted Kili's upper arm to rouse him. "Stairs are this way. 'Night, Mum!"

"Thanks, Lena!" Kili called after her. He groaned at Fili after he said it. "That sounded so informal. Can't I call her Ms. Disson or something? Your mum's pretty. And nice." He leaned against Fili as he was given a veiled tour of the house. To imagine Fili paying for most of this...it was incredible. But Fili had just quit his job. Money was going to run out, Kili thought sadly.

Before he knew it, he found himself in what he was sure was going to be a dusty old room, but turned out to be well-kept with a comfortable-looking bed. "Definitely not regretting passing up on the hotel room. Or coming here." Kili smiled at Fili. "Thank you."

"Being called 'Ms. Disson' makes her feel old. If 'Lena' makes you uncomfortable, call her 'Mum' instead. She always said she would have liked to have had more children," Fili told him. "Will this room work for you? It's nothing special, just four walls...but it's warm and dry," he pulled down the covers. "Bathroom's out the door and to the left. Kili, why do you look so worried?"

Kili shrugged as he sat down on the bed. Oh, the minute Fili left out that door, he was going to fall back and be knocked out for the remainder of the night. "It's good. It's better than a hotel room, you know. More personal. Fee, when we go on that trip, how is your mum going to be able to afford living here? It's a beautiful place, and big. You can't tell me it's inexpensive."

"Dad, of course," Fili explained. "He _does_ pay her alimony. And, as you know, he's quite wealthy. And she's already arranged for her sister to stop in to visit her every other day while I'm gone. She'll be fine. _I'll_ be fine. Now...to sleep with you, Kili," Fili smiled, "before you fall over." He paused in the open doorway. "I'm glad you made good on your promise to come back. Or was it a threat?"

"Not a threat." Kili pulled his legs up on the bed, intent on getting changed after Fili closed the door. They had seen each other in far less, but he didn't want to push anything, not right now. "If you must know, I wondered if you were going to show up. I made a mess of things before I left, so I could understand if you didn't. But I'm really glad you did, and that without the offer to go on a trip and get out of here."

"To tell the truth," Fili walked back to the bed and sat down next to him, "I've done very little since we came back to London except think about your return." He leaned over and kissed Kili ever-so-softly on the forehead. "Goodnight," he smiled, and got up, heading for his own room.

If he chanced to look behind him, he would find Kili startled into silence. Fili would not see the way Kili fell back on the bed with a fool's smile on his lips, for it happened after the door closed and Kili knew he had the place to himself. 

Already he had made up his mind. His new job be damned, he was going to go on that trip with Fili. He was going to see the world and make sure they touched upon all the places he wanted to one day see—or at least a considerable portion thereof.

It didn't take long before Kili fell in a pleasant sleep. When he woke the next morning, a glance at his phone told him it was past ten in the morning, and he was going to be late if he stayed in bed much longer.

He couldn't keep his eyes off Fili over the kitchen table when he finally dug into his breakfast.

It was clear when Kili entered the kitchen that he had interrupted a personal conversation. Both Fili and Lena smiled up at him guiltily, and Kili nodded but kept quiet as he sat down.

"Do you take tea or coffee?" Fili's mother had asked. She had made a huge English breakfast.

"Don't get the idea that she lays out a spread like this every morning," Fili explained. "We usually have toast and jam. When had you hoped to go see your uncle?"

Kili couldn't help but smile—it seemed to be a permanent affliction, these days. "Coffee please. I think I'll see him in a few hours. I planned to be there at eleven but well," he raised his shoulders at the clock, "that's going to be too much trouble now. I hope I'm not interrupting anything. I was supposed to stay at the hotel, so if you've got plans..." Kili hoped they didn't. He wanted to take him out for dinner later, and his mother too, if she wanted to.

"Mum's finishing up a painting, and we plan to visit a gallery this afternoon," Fili told him. "She has a showing coming up at the Hayward Gallery," he looked at her proudly. "Despite what she says, it's a really big deal."

"We can give you a key to the place," Lena waved it off as if it were no trouble. "Our house is your house for the duration of your visit."

"Maybe this evening you can show me some websites of places you think are worth seeing in Vietnam?" Fili asked him. "I'd like that."

It was too much for Kili to all wave off politely. He was about to protest that they shouldn't give him a key and he could just call them if they were around or else he'd get a cup of coffee downtown while he waited, when Fili talked about Vietnam and cut that line of thought short. He lit up further. "You mean you're okay with Vietnam, maybe? All right! And you can show me places you want to see, okay?"

Kili ate up contently. He looked outside the window and the sunny day and things felt like they couldn't get any better. "I uh," he quieted down though, "I haven't talked to Thorin in three months either. You've been so wonderful, but I'm afraid how he's going to take it. I didn't exactly let him know I was dropping by, either."

"I'm sure he'll be overjoyed to see you, Kili," Fili told him, taking his plate to the sink. "He was devastated when you left Tuscany. He didn't say anything, of course, but, well, I could tell. Give him my best while you're there, will you? Let him know that Mum and I are all right?"

Kili nodded. He enjoyed the little time he had to watch Fili and his mum, and how they acted around each other, but soon he got up and excused himself. If he didn't go now, he wouldn't go all day, and he had told himself he had to.

He didn't return until early in the evening. When it was six, he sent a message stating he was on his way. Kili didn't know whether Fili and his mother expected him there for dinner—he had quite lost track of time when Dwalin had cornered him as he was about to leave and they had gone for a drink to catch up.

"Sorry," he said in his message in the bus, "all yours again tonight. How did the gallery go?"

"Swimmingly," Fili sent back. "They love her, and her work. Can we all get dinner this evening if you aren't too tired?"

"Out?" Kili bit his lip as he looked at the short message. He added, "I'd like that. Are you sure it's not too much trouble?" The bus rounded the corner before his stop and he put his phone away in order not to miss it. Kili hadn't been in this part of town a lot. He waited with a good tension building up in his stomach, got off, and looked around. To his embarrassment he had no idea which way to go.

When Fili received a text asking for his address, he smiled. Of course Kili wouldn't know it. He was sleeping when they had arrived. And this neighborhood looked completely different during the day.

"583 Kensington," he texted back. "Red stone, marigold colored trim."

When Kili got to the house, Fili and Lena were just getting situated in the car.

"I hope you're hungry," Fili smiled.

"Already?" Kili walked faster the last few yards. "I went for a drink with Dwalin. Things uh, got later than expected. Thorin said he wanted to see you again sometime." Kili said that with less confidence, but he smiled at Fili's mother as if it didn't phase him. "Have you got something in mind?"

"Fish and chips sound good? A few pints?" Fili smiled. "We have a favorite pub, down the street. Mum's got a painting there."

Kili tagged along readily. He occasionally glanced at Fili, noticing how Fili had expertly avoided giving him a reply concerning Thorin without making it sound like he had anything to worry about, and made sure to pay Lena her due attention. That turned out not to be difficult. As soon as he saw the painting, he started overloading her with questions about what had inspired her, and which tools she had used. It was intricate; beautiful. Eventually he nudged Fili and asked him, quickly swallowing his mouthful, "Why didn't you tell me your mum makes works this beautiful? She should do more with it."

Not to allow his mother to think otherwise, Fili countered, "I did, Kee, while we were on the island. But, then, we were just trying to survive. I'm sure it slipped your mind."

This was the most he had revealed to Lena about any dangers he had encountered there, and he didn't care to share anymore. "So tell me," he asked the brunet, "what's a typical day like at your job? Because right now I'm envisioning you chasing after pigeons with a clipboard."

"Well," and Kili realized it would sound utterly dull, "I collect data and then I put them in charts, I suppose. It's a lot of statistics and lab work. Hardly any pigeons, I'm afraid. But there's the prospect of working abroad that's is the good part. I've got New York in the pocket, and I might be on a team for Vancouver." He racked his mind for Fili telling him his mother made gorgeous paintings, and while he couldn't remember the part of them being gorgeous, he lit up nonetheless for Lena. "Right, right. Sorry. The whole island feels like a blur, honestly. Is it manageable to earn your living? It sounds like such a wonderful thing to be doing."

Fili frowned when Kili told him what he was doing for a living. He knew the aspect of working outdoors had great appeal for him, but he simply couldn't imagine Kili being happy with the statistical part of the job long-term. What he _could_ envision was travelling with Kili, and while Fili snapped photos of wildlife, Kili could write very vivid descriptions of what was going on.

"You and I should publish a book," fell from Fili's lips. "Or a series of books. Travel guides. I can see it now," he smiled, blushing all the while, "The Castaways' Guide to Vietnam...or, you know, whatever." He busied himself with his silverware.

Lena turned to Kili and raised her eyebrows in appreciation of the idea.

Kili's lips parted in his surprise, but then he laughed. "I have no literary talent, but I don't see why not. As long as you let me write about plants and animals, and I can be there when you take the pictures. You're just brimming with ideas to make me give up my newfound job." He raised his glass in more than a promise. "I like that."

 _I like you_ , was what he was actually saying.

"So I take it you haven't been approached by companies for a new job?"

"I haven't applied anywhere," Fili shrugged. "Most people believe I'm still at Durinco. Dad knows," he shot an apologetic glance at his mother, "but he hasn't pressured me to come work at EduComp. He did say that, if I decide to travel, there are some branch offices I could visit. But it didn't go beyond that. I don't really miss it—corporate life," Fili admitted. "A shocking thing for an MBA to say, I suppose. But, I don't. Going to Tuscany, and yes, even being on the island, infected me with a desire to travel. I have to get this trip out of my system or I feel I might go mad."

"I won't tell you to change your mind. Corporate life, I don't get it sometimes. Why waste an entire life between four walls making money when you're not enjoying that money?" Kili looked at the picture again. "But if it would have been your choice, I know you would have been happy there. Sorry, I'm projecting my own feelings onto you."

"Project all you like," Lena interjected, setting her beer aside. "Fili's been difficult to live with since he returned from Italy. Well, you _have,_ " she shrugged in his direction. "It's obvious he respects your opinion. Clearly you two had quite an experience on the island." She didn't beg for details, although she was dying to hear them. 

Fili simply rolled his eyes. "You're right, Mum. I've been a dreadful, cranky prat. I'm sorry. It's all been just so overwhelming," he concluded. "Ah well, I imagine you can read all about it in Ori's book, when he decides to wrap it up."

"He's nearly done with it?" Something about that fact made Kili not ready to have the rest of the world know what happened between them. He wasn't proud of how things had gone with him and his uncle's lover and he just knew the press was going to throw that in his face if they could. Parts of being a plane crash survivor had helped Kili—such as the job he would have never procured for himself otherwise since he had no experience in the field, contrary to the other candidates—but he was getting tired of every so often finding a camera pointed at him for a snapshot. Journalists still asked for interviews after three months. "Imagine that," he mumbled to himself, "everyone knowing what happened."

Suddenly he needed that trip.

Kili snapped out of it. "Well, I'm sure it's because he hasn't got a job that made him different. When I didn't have a job, I was terrible."

Kili looked positively panicked by the pronouncement that Ori's book might be a tell-all.

"No, no," Fili assured him. "I'm sure he's also going be writing about his current experiences on the island as well. Don't worry, Kili, it's not going to be some scathing expose about island life and every little detail of what we did."

There were some things Fili hadn't shared with Ori. 

Lena sat forward with interest. "Well," she smiled, "since I'm bound to read it in the book anyway," she addressed Kili, "I know there was horror and carnage beyond imagining, but why don't you tell me about your most special moment on the island? What was the neatest thing that happened to you there?"

Kili's cheeks flushed red immediately. Of course the kiss came to his mind at once, that second one which Fili had willingly instigated. He still thought about that moment daily. But if he said that, he would make things uncomfortable between Fili and himself. You didn't tell someone's mother you kissed her son and expect that to be the end of the conversation.

"...Diving," he said. "There was a mangrove and I don't think Fili knew, but I found a little place all to myself there. I'd go there whenever I wanted and just drifted in schools of fish. We didn't have goggles so it wasn't always easy to see, but I made tubes from reed to breathe through and every once in a while I could see really far. That was beautiful."

Fili leaned his chin on one supported hand, watching Kili with a dreamy expression as he spoke. "I didn't know that," he smiled, when Kili finished speaking. "But it's so _you._ "

"And what about you, darling?" Lena asked her son. "What was your most memorable moment?"

A barrage of images went through Fili's head, and most of them unpleasant and downright frightening. 

Finally he settled on, "There was this one day, when we decided we wanted to find out how big the island really was, and Kili and I climbed this really tall tree together." He skillfully left out the _because we were chained together and had to_ part. "The view, it was mesmerizing. I didn't want to come down. From up there, things weren't quite as scary."

"Hah," grinned Kili, "Well, I'm surprised you went up as high as that. I wanted to go down much faster, but because we made a promise to get to the top, we did. I kept worrying about you falling. You climbed well that day." Kili looked at Lena apologetically. "Sorry. If it weren't for me, he probably wouldn't have gone up that tree." He turned to Fili. "Have you ever gone scuba diving? And I mean properly?"

Fili shook his head. "It's on my bucket list," he admitted. "Of course, my bucket list grew considerably while we were on the island. Climbing Machu Picchu, riding a gondola through Venice, a month on a Greek island, a Kenyan safari, walking along the Great Wall in China..."

He paused when he realized both Kili and his mother were smiling at him. "Well, I had a lot of time to think."

Kili took a drink. "You spent the time wisely. Are you sure you're the same director's assistant I met on the island?" He nudged Fili's foot under the table. "I like this new you. I liked the old you, don't get me wrong, but you just seem...happier."

"Trust me, Kili," Lena interjected, "he's only been like this since he picked you up at the station. Before that, he was insufferable." She lay a hand on Kili's arm. "You clearly make him very happy."

Fili sighed, "Mum..." he fished out his wallet and his eyes skipped guiltily to Kili's. _She's right,_ they said.

Kili's eyes locked with his. He felt his heartbeat picking up and an odd tingling feeling take over. Kili's lips pulled into a warm smile. "No regrets there. It's so good to see him again, and even more so when it's this way." Kili's foot nudged Fili's lightly again.

Fili was barely restraining the urge to take Kili in his arms. "I wouldn't have survived on the island without him," he told his mother. "It's that simple. I might not be here if it weren't for Kili." Beneath the table, he reached for Kili's hand.

"I—" Kili was both too self-aware and too thoughtful on things that he shouldn't be thinking about while sitting in front of Fili's mother. "Let's go home, okay? I've got to get my stuff for tomorrow and I think I may have had a little too much to eat." His look as he glanced at Fili told Fili more. Kili bowed his head. "I'm sorry, Lena. Next time I'll make sure I've got more time to spend with you two."

"Talking about the island gives _me_ indigestion too," Fili frowned. "We have some antacid at home. No doubt you're still recovering from travelling," he squeezed Kili's hand. "We'll get you sorted out at home, all right?"

He gave his credit card to the waiter, who quickly returned with a receipt for Fili to sign. "Shall we?"

They drove home without any trouble. Fili's car was built to have a wheelchair stored in the back. Moving Lena in the passenger seat, putting the chair away, and the reversed order when they got home was so practiced that it amazed Kili and distracted him from his more pressing thoughts.

Like Fili.

He offered Lena a hug before heading to the guest bedroom.

"The door's open," Kili texted to Fili as he lay looking up at the ceiling. "In case you're thinking what I've been thinking."

"Did you REALLY just text me from next door?" Fili sent back. ":p brt"

Two minutes later, Fili slipped through his door and closed it behind him. He wore a pair of plaid pajama bottoms. The smell of minty toothpaste wafted to Kili and the blonde slipped under the covers next to him. "How's your stomach?" he asked.

"Far less troublesome than I made it out to be, I'm afraid." The younger rolled onto his side. He was silent for a long time. Then he whispered, "I can't stop thinking about you. I tried, I really did."

"Me too," Fili pulled the covers up to his own chest. "Although, to be fair, I didn't really try. I should have, I supposed. I've been very distant, especially to Mum, since Italy. After you left—after I watched your taxi go down that driveway and out of sight—I had to get away. I went to Florence. I spent the entirety of the remaining time away from the villa," Fili told him. "And the whole time, I wished you were with me."

Searching eyes roamed over Fili. "You mean you and Thorin...?" There was visibly hope there. "Fee, when you showed up on Sunday, I was already so happy. Then you wanted to take me with you on your trip and I thought it couldn't get better. But you should know this, before I start seeing things where there aren't. I love you. I don't know all there is to know about you, and probably not nearly enough to take that trip without at least thinking twice. I understand you hardly know me either. That's okay."

"I know all I need to know," Fili reached forward and pushed a tendril of hair away from Kili's face, which immediately fell back stubbornly. He smiled. "And I told you, Thorin and I, we're done." He moved closer to Kili, leaning in conspiratorially. "And I want to know everything else, too."

Their noses were so close they nearly touched. Kili nodded—and if Fili looked closely, he looked slightly cross-eyed at their proximity. He only had a small chance to see it before Kili pulled momentarily away, weighed the risks, and captured Fili in a slow kiss. He shuddered, his hands coming up to cup Fili's face. Nobody was stopping them. Nobody. Kili let out a relieved laugh.

Fili felt all the loneliness and despair he had felt for the past few months dissipate. "God," he breathed. "God, Kili...I've been waiting for this for _so long._ "

Hands moved up to comb into his hair, still longer than he had started out with. Kili didn't have to look to know that under his fingertips was the fading tan of the island. It was funny, he thought distantly, how it was always 'the island' when he thought back on that period, not 'the crash'. The crash had been terrible, but the island was one of the best things to have happened to him. Kili wasn't rolling on top of Fili, but he jostled him into facing him nonetheless. "Me too," he breathed. "God, it's me. I never thought—But it's _me._ Thank you so much."

"Since the moment I met you, last year, in London, it's been impossible not to think about you," Fili smiled. "I think I knew, even then. I fought it, of course, but that was a lost cause." He wrapped an arm around Kili's waist, pulling him closer. "The island just made it worse...and better. I got to see you in your element, and it only made me want you more. It was torture," he kissed him again, longer, and more passionately this time, until they were both desperate for air.


	24. He Treasures You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Kili depart on their long-awaited vacation, but only after a very passionate interlude.

_Previously…._  


Their noses were so close they nearly touched. Kili nodded—and if Fili looked closely, he looked slightly cross-eyed at their proximity. He only had a small chance to see it before Kili pulled momentarily away, weighed the risks, and captured Fili in a slow kiss. He shuddered, his hands coming up to cup Fili's face. Nobody was stopping them. Nobody. Kili let out a relieved laugh. 

Fili felt all the loneliness and despair he had felt for the past few months dissipate. "God," he breathed. "God, Kili...I've been waiting for this for _so long."_ Hands moved up to comb into his hair, still longer than he had started out with. Kili didn't have to look to know that under his fingertips was the fading tan of the island. It was funny, he thought distantly, how it was always 'the island' when he thought back on that period, not 'the crash'. The crash had been terrible, but the island was one of the best things to have happened to him. Kili wasn't rolling on top of Fili, but he jostled him into facing him nonetheless. "Me too," he breathed. "God, it's me. I never thought—But it's _me_. Thank you so much." 

"Since the moment I met you, last year, in London, it's been impossible not to think about you," Fili smiled. "I think I knew, even then. I fought it, of course, but that was a lost cause." He wrapped an arm around Kili's waist, pulling him closer. "The island just made it worse...and better. I got to see you in your element, and it only made me want you more. It was torture," he kissed him again, longer, and more passionately this time, until they were both desperate for air.

\- - - - - 

_Now…_

"I thought you were terribly cocky then," Kili admitted. "The golden boy. You _are_ golden." He swiftly rolled on top of Fili and patted the wall while simultaneously leaning over him with their lips only an inch apart. "These walls, are they soundproof?" Before finding out the answer, he ventured his lips to the nape of Fili's neck.

"I'd be more concerned about the floor," Fili moaned, tossing back his head in pleasure. "And Mum, her bedroom's on the other side of the house downstairs. We're over her studio. She's always got music on. She won't hear anything," he smiled, then grew serious. 

"I may have appeared cocky, but I've never really felt completely confident," Fili confessed. "I just acted that way because I _had_ to. I'm really much less... alpha." He slipped his hand into the waistband of Kili's undershorts. "Not much of an aggressor. Not really. Never was."

"I know. Good." Kili pressed a finger against Fili's lips. He was brimming with joy. "I didn't know you back then. And you were working for my uncle. That by itself meant you had to have balls of steel. You looked lost on the island, the first day, like you had no idea what to do. That's what proved me wrong." His breath hitched as he sat up and let the other under him toy with his underwear. All at once, he pulled his shirt off in one go, tossed it to the edge of the bed and breathed, "Kiss me."

After an appreciative, slow, smoldering visual appraisal of Kili's chest, Fili complied, his hand plunging into Kili's raven tresses and tongue delving deeply into Kili's warm mouth. His other hand, meanwhile, had slipped Kili's underwear down over one ass cheek, which he cupped warmly.

He wanted to compliment Kili on the way it felt, but nothing that came to his mind seemed anything less than ridiculous, so he kept silent.

As for Kili, who had never had much trouble getting out of his clothes before, this time was different. That meant that although he was terribly eager, he wanted not to show it too much. Instead he leaned down and bestowed kiss after kiss against Fili's skin, nipping his ear and smiling against his cheek. "You are perfect the way you are." His hands started to work on Fili's shirt. Kili sucked in a breath when his palms pressed against warm skin. "Sleep here tonight," he asked. "I'll set the alarm for you if you want, but I want to take my time with you, and if there's a chance I can make your legs weak, I will."

"Yes, I'll stay, of course," Fili readily agreed. "And no need to set an alarm. We make our own timetable now, okay?" He raised himself up on one elbow and smiled down at Kili, "And as far as making my legs weak, why do you think I'm lying down?"

So far they had done nothing but kiss, and some very PG-rated fondling. Fili wanted more. He hoped Kili did as well.

Clearly, as was so often the case, they were on the same wavelength. Kili's hot breath skimmed Fili's neck as his hand moved down and further, to the soft flannel of the pants and the blatant erection hidden beneath. He only toyed with the drawstring as long as he could hold himself back, but then Kili groaned and just palmed him through the fabric, all patience lost.

A hot burst of desire shot through him. Fili felt full and wonderful, and—with some luck—that was going to be either fulfilling Kili soon, or be open for him to toy with as he drove Fili to the zenith of their feelings. He brought down his other hand, fumbled the waistband down to his knees, and actually hissed when the hot flesh was cased in his hand. "Oh god, Fee," Kili breathed, "I want that."

Fili chuckled darkly, allowing Kili to explore all he wanted. "I've been saving it for you," he bit his lip, unconsciously bucking up into Kili's sure grip. "Ungh, God, your _hand,_ Kee..." he groaned, tossing his head on the pillow. "What do you like? What do you want?"

"What's under my hand," Kili drew a finger up Fili's shaft and chewed on the inside of his lip. His lips found Fili's again in a slow kiss while his hand worked impatiently—greedily—against Fili. He wasn't normally very vocal about these sorts of things and admitting it made him burrow his face against Fili's chest. He smelled so wonderful. This was how the kiss in the bath house should have proceeded. Well, Kili was grateful for the chance now. With his free hand he started undoing his own jeans.

"Then take it," Fili challenged. "Please, Kili. Take what you want. Take a little. Take it all," he smiled, tipping Kili's face up so that their eyes met. "It's all yours."

A light lit in Kili's eyes, and he made haste to move down until his mouth moved above Fili's erection. While hardly romantic for a moment of this magnitude, Kili couldn't control his desire to bring Fili pleasure with his tongue. And Fili was so generous. Kili paused only for decorum. As his lips slipped around the other man, his hands moved to worship him. 

Fili was amazing. As were the sounds he made when Kili worked him. Kili made note of everything Fili liked, and also that which he didn't. It was the moments when he had it just right that intoxicated him and dared him to take it further, to give more of himself. Soon Fili had him panting above him as his hips moved to the motion of his mouth and tongue, muscle moving beneath the skin of his back and his hair getting in the way.

If anyone had told Fili forty-eight hours earlier that he'd be lying here, being pleasured by Kili Oakenshield, he would have scoffed. In truth, he hadn't expected Kili to show up. Kili deserved better than someone who was unable to commit, who kept pushing him aside—even if he was single now and helpless to hide his infatuation. Kili deserved better.

 _And so do you,_ he heard Ori's voice inside his head. _He loves you, you love him. For the love of all that is holy, just let go and enjoy yourself!_

And he did. Kili was quite, quite good at this, and he was not shy. Fili already knew that, of course, but he'd never been the focus of Kili's attentions before. In the space of five minutes, Kili had him sweating, writhing, undone.

"Kee," he gasped. "Pull off! I'm going to—" But by then, it was too late.

If he thought warning Kili was going to have him pull away, he learnt a new thing that day. Kili held his ground and continued as Fili was falling apart. The idea gave him butterflies in his stomach, and he tried to look. From an angle of not being able to take his mouth off to keep things moderately clean in a bed he still had to sleep in, Kili unfortunately couldn't see much, so he closed his eyes and milked him until persistent hands made clear that the edge of pleasure and too much sensitivity was reached.

Kili sat back on his haunches and—with a bit of a show—swallowed down. He wiped his lips, moved a few sticky hairs out of his face and grinned. "God, you're so beautiful like that. Can I do that again?"

He waited only until Fili stopped gasping before moving up and demanding a kiss.

"We can do," Fili pulled him to his chest, peppering his face with kisses, "whatever you like, Kili. And for as _long_ as you like," he added, tasting himself on Kili's tongue. 

No, Kili was not at all shy. Fili loved it. "Now," his blue eyes followed the lines of Kili's body from the top of his head to the tips of his toes, "what shall I do with you?"

"What would you like to do?" Kili had not planned for Fili to finish so soon on their first night. He didn't much mind it—couldn't, when he looked at Fili and couldn't look away for all the perfection that was there—but, well, "I kind of wanted you in me," he admitted with a slight hint of coyness.

Fili swallowed audibly. "I rather thought that might be the case," he creased his forehead, as if in thought. "Would you ride me...like you did Mr. Dwalin that night at the lagoon? I have never forgotten how tantalizing you looked then, and I probably never will."

Kili thought about that, though he didn't know _what_ to think about it. "Yeah," he nodded, "if you're up for it. Aren't you spent? I'm okay with, um, fingers, tonight."

"Oh, yes," Fili blushed. "Of course. I wasn't suggesting we actually _consummate_ our..." he cleared his throat, thoroughly embarrassed. _Whatever this is…._

He _had_ been suggesting it. But, of course, it was too soon. 

"That was very presumptuous of me," Fili apologized. "We hardly know one another. I got caught up in the heat of the moment." He got swiftly out of bed and pulled on his pajama pants. "I'll be right back," he smiled at Kili, slipping out of the room.

 _Idiot!_ he berated himself, fishing around through his own bedside table's drawer. He found the half-empty bottle of lube he'd been searching for and returned to the guest room. "Sorry, Kee. I'm back," he slipped back under the covers.

Kili rolled onto his side. There was something indescribable in his eyes, something he refused to speak about at first, but which he finally burst out because it was eating at him. "I'm a little confused about what you said. I have no trouble consummating anything, but you want to wait, don't you? At least, that's the only logic I can come up with." Not entirely true. Then again, the other line of thought made him feel cheap— _they hardly knew each other_ , and here Kili was speaking of having sex—so he decided that it was easier to assume the first.

"I..." Fili bit his lip. "We _should_ wait, shouldn't we? I want you to be sure of me. Maybe we could—you know—save it for a special city on our voyage? This isn't something I want to be anything less than spectacular for you," he told Kili.

It was the perfect answer. Kili's worry left him and he leaned forward for a kiss. "I don't want it to be spectacular. It's an added bonus, I admit," he added lightness to his words, fully expecting Fili to nudge him, "just as long as it's right." Fili was the first one to tell him that. Kili had no interest in drawing parallels between Fili and the other people he'd shared a bed with, as there was no comparison between them. "I do want you to do something about it, if you like."

" _That, love,_ " Fili smiled down at him, showing him the bottle of lube, "I fully intend to make good on." In one swift motion he had tossed the covers aside, slotting himself between Kili's thighs. The strong smell of Kili's arousal had him licking his own lips. 

"God, Kili...your cock," he ran his lips ever so gently along its length. "It's practically weeping."

Kili laughed at the suddenness—and stifled that with a sound that he quickly quieted by means of his fist between his teeth, the moment Fili touched him. "Oh my god," his head fell back, "I can't believe it, you actually want us to get caught." He spread his legs eagerly and trailed a finger along his lover's shoulder, but kept the other hand safely draped on the pillow above his head. If he didn't, it would be too easy to grab Fili and hold him in place as he thrust up. "That's—that's good."

Fili had done some reading about pheromones and their role in attraction. Up to that point, he'd figured it was bunk. But the smell of Kili—his skin, his hair, and yes, his crotch—was intoxicating. And the taste! He delved down to take Kili's length into his mouth and throat. 

As he did so, he squirted a bit of lube onto his fingers. This wasn't something he often had chance to do...but he was willing to try anything Kili asked of him, if only to keep him making those wonderful sounds.

Kili's cock hit the back of Fili's throat and a pleasured gasp reached his ears. It urged a new rush of blood down and Kili’s fingers tightened in Fili's hair. A number of profanities that would never spill swarmed Kili's thoughts as everything that Fili did drove him further to the edge. "...Fuck!" Except for that one. The door could fly open and Kili would still demand Fili to continue. There was no way to stop, only to go forward.

Nevertheless a slick digit traced its way down to where he needed it most, and Kili's eyes flew open. "Go on," he nodded frantically. "Oh, don't stop there."

Fili pulled off with a wet, slick _pop._ "I don't intend to," his voice was husky and his movements purposeful.

It didn't take long for that circling, threatening digit to make good on its promise to breech. Soon, another joined it and Fili began searching for that magical spot inside Kili that would make him howl.

Oh, and he found it. Again, and again.

Kili's eyes flew open the first time. The second time, he brought his hips up and his hands down to grip at Fili's shoulders. After that, he was a lost mess with an arched back, moving any which way to have Fili do it again. It was insane. Every time, Fili let his high buzz out, only to flare it back up at the last moment, keeping him tethered to the edge for a number of torturously long, good minutes.

When the last stretch came at last, Kili only insistently patted Fili on his thigh. "Mouth—" he whispered, bit his lip, and burst in a silent but breathtaking display of pure lust. "Oh my god, my god, my god!"

Fili readily complied, and almost immediately Kili orgasmed, his body tightening like a bow and then spasming in release. Kili was also not shy about his passionate noises, Fili was reminded. He loved it. He loved him.

He wanted to hear those noises every night—in Saigon, Oslo, New York, Amsterdam, Moscow...

His reverie was interrupted by Kili's hand in his hair.

"You are unbelievable," the man whispered, still out of breath. "Come here." When Fili did, he kissed him senseless with all the passion of a man still thrumming with his orgasm and wrapped his legs around his hips tightly. They needed a shower anyway. Kili brushed away Fili's hair and looked at him. For all intents and purposes, the naked body between his thighs and the sweaty skin was as intimate as the step further would be. That would come in due time. Kili laughed. "What am I going to tell my boss? I go to London for a few days, I come back a man in love and with a resignation to hand in."

"You still have time to make up your mind, Kee," Fili kissed his nose gently. "You have a few days to spend here still. Let's spend them together—doing crazy touristy things. I want to get to know you better. And have you know me. After that, you can make a better informed decision. I know it's easy to get infected by passionate decision making," Fili smiled. "But, in the end, you need to do what's right for you. I would be overjoyed to have your company. But, I'd also rest easy in knowing you were waiting for me when I came home."

Kili pouted and punched his shoulder. Lightly. "I _am_ going to tell him, when we come up with a departure date. I'm coming along with you. Especially after this. Do you think I'm going to let you just go to the other side of the world and willingly miss out on what you just did to me? No way." Having a job he liked was nice, but it in no way measured up to being around Fili—and exploring the world while they were at it. He yawned and pulled a face. "Still need to clean."

"I fully intend to have you do that to me as well," Fili informed him. "That, and much, much more." He slipped to the end of the bed. "Come, love," he extended his hand. "I have a lovely shower up here. Let me show you."

\- - - - -

It took them five weeks to plan everything out—five weeks that went by too fast. Kili visited London every weekend, leaving his work down to the minute at five on Friday to catch the ferry and make it to Fili's in the dead of the night, and returning back on Sunday nights. They perused over folders from travel agencies, then decided they were going to book this themselves when they realized they easily could, before hitting the internet and buying a Lonely Planet for every country they were going to spend more than a week in.

Well before daybreak on an early Monday morning, they walked into Heathrow with their suitcases in tow. Kili was pumped with adrenaline. He looked a little green around the edges. "First time flying again," he muttered. "I must be mad. Tell me I'm mad."

Dwalin clapped him on the back. "You beat it once," he said cheerfully, "what are the odds of it happening again?"

"Insignificant," Thorin spoke next to him. He looked sleepy, but he wouldn't miss sending his nephew off.

"Exactly. And even if it does happen again, you have tricked it before."

Dwalin wasn't helping. Kili groaned and Thorin shot him a glare, and Dwalin was forced to sigh, "Oh lad, you'll do fine. It won't happen. Go out, try to sleep as much as you can, and just have a good time. And don't forget to send us a postcard everywhere you go."

"Or you could just read the blog," Kili said.

"When there's internet."

"When there's internet, of course." _And we feel like writing._ Kili certainly had no intention of being hooked to the internet every day. Their trip was going to be for them alone, and he wasn't going to lie on a beach with a laptop keeping others updated when he could just be enjoying the moment instead.

"A postcard would still be nice," Thorin said.

"Yeah, okay."

Suddenly Kili got teary. He squeezed Fili's hand and smiled apologetically at Lena for getting sentimental. He was finally beginning to patch up things with his uncle again, and now here he was, saying goodbye. "I'll let you know when I can call you," he said around the lump in his throat.

Thorin nodded. He smiled. "Let's get you checked in, all right?"

Fili was a bit mortified having so many people there to see them off.

"We _will_ send post cards, of course," he assured Thorin, because it was clearly what he was desperate to hear from Kili. "It'll be just as if you three are there with us." 

His eyes locked with Thorin's momentarily, then looked quickly away. Fili too felt teary, but much of it was due to having Thorin there. His mother was, frankly, eager to be rid of him. In a few days, she and her sister would be leaving on a cruise of their own.

He hugged Lena. "And I'll update our blog with photos regularly. We're both really excited, Mum. And I'm glad you're getting away as well. You deserve it."

"I truly can't wait to get on board that ship," Lena admitted. 

"You'll love it," Fili assured her.

Finally, he needed to face Thorin properly. "He'll be okay," he told his former—well, the man who was _everything_ to him. "I'll take care of him and he'll take care of me. Just like the island."

Kili reached for his hand and squeezed it firmly. "Says the one who's offered to pay for everything." He smiled warmly and would have kissed him if not for Thorin's presence. Thorin and Fili in the same room still made Kili uncomfortable about how their first and second kisses had come to pass. Dwalin told him Thorin was over it though, and added that he was gradually managing to peel Thorin out of his corporate environment. They even went out for beers and to play pool now and then.

"He's right, let's get us checked in and past the passport check. I'm not good with goodbyes."

Check-in went incredibly smoothly, probably due to the early hour and the fact that they were departing on a Monday. 

"Well be fine, Mum," Fili assured Lena one more time.

"I am absolutely not worried about your safety. That one," she inclined her head towards Kili, "he treasures you. He won't let anything happen to you."

"I know," Fili blushed, hiding his face behind a curtain of hair. He leaned forward and hugged her tightly. "Love you, Mum," he said, voice suddenly hoarse with emotion. He gave Dwalin a hearty hug, and then finally found himself again face-to-face with Thorin. 

"This is still difficult," he admitted, quietly.

Thorin smiled at him. They shared five years of history, but Fili looked more balanced and happy now than he had done in a long time. "It'll get better. Kili's a good guy. He'll be good to you." That made it easier to bear. "So be good to him too, all right? He may act like he can carry the weight of the world on one shoulder, but there will be times when he needs you."

"I'm right here, you know." Kili smiled and offered Lena a hug from where he was standing. "You have fun on your cruise, all right? Don't do anything we wouldn't do," he said lightly, earning himself a smile. "I'm kidding. Do everything we wouldn't do. When we get back, I want to hear all about it."

"Kili will want for nothing, I promise," Fili assured Thorin. "I love him." As he gave Thorin a farewell hug, he felt his heart crack. "Goodbye, Thorin," he added, and he actually felt as if he truly meant it.

Carryon bag slung over his shoulder, Fili reached for Kili's hand as they went through the gates headed towards security, where the others couldn't follow. He turned one last time to wave goodbye. Soon they were out of sight.

"My god," he turned to Kili, smile beaming. "We're doing this."

Kili didn't care so much about anyone watching them through the glass from the other side and kissed him square on the lips. He grinned when he pulled away. 

"Coffee first." Kili kissed him again. "Then we take over the world."

THE END 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's always emotional posting the last chapter of a story--especially one as lengthy as this one. "Mithril Island" was a real labor of love that began with a jokingly said "wouldn't it be a blast to combine 'The Hobbit' and 'Lost'?" 
> 
> Thank you all for your continued support, kudos and kind words as we experimented with some new pairings and wild ideas.
> 
> Our next story is much shorter, a RPF love story between Richard Armitage and Aidan Turner. It'll be our Happy New Year present to you all.
> 
> Love you! ---Blue and Thorny


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